


How they got there

by AniZH



Series: Young parents [2]
Category: Victorious
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-10
Updated: 2017-07-27
Packaged: 2018-09-07 15:54:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 138,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8807038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AniZH/pseuds/AniZH
Summary: Jade finds herself pregnant with 15. How she, Beck, their families and friends handle it. (one shot collection, prequel to Their son – you don’t need to know that story though)





	1. Finding out and decision

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone!  
> A user on fanfiction.net wrote a review to my story Their son, where they asked me if I could do a prequel of sorts. While they would’ve liked flashbacks, I didn’t think those would fit too well in that story. Instead, I’m now writing this collection of one shots that all take place prior to Their son. You can read it without knowing the story though, I think.  
> I won’t update very regularly, but as they are all one shots, I think that’s fine. I hope I can do an update at least once a month – don’t expect another chapter this year anymore. I will very likely also write other stuff in between. And if you have read Their son, you will find a lot of situations in these one shots, you already read about there.  
> I will go about everything kind of chronically. But really only kind of. The third chapter for example will be about Lane, will pick up right where the second one shot ended, will then have a lot of time jumps with Benji even being born in the end. The theme will just be Lane all throughout the situation. The next one shot will then pretty much pick up after the first scene of the Lane-chapter with another topic. Is that confusing? I guess so. I hope it won’t be when you read each one shot.  
> You can of course also wish for certain things, certain situation or whatever. Maybe, you have read Their son and want to read something which is talked about there.  
> I already have at least 15 chapters planned. Some will probably only have 3000 words (and may have several independent scenes inside of it), others will be much much longer. I already see the next one being extremely long.  
> I try putting trigger warnings everywhere I deem them necessary and directly have to say for this chapter that there is serious talk about abortion. And there’s also sex mentioned.  
> Okay, that’s finally it. For now. Have fun reading! :)

No. No, it can't be.  
She stares onto the pregnancy test in her hand. Two lines. That means she's pregnant.  
But she can't be. She just can't be pregnant. That would ruin everything. It would ruin her life. It would ruin her future. She can't have a baby. How could she at her age? How could she at all?  
Maybe, she has understood the test wrong. She looks back into the instructions. The first is the control line, which shows up if the test still works. If the second line shows up as well, it means you're pregnant.  
She gets sick. Not that she hasn't felt sick in the mornings over the last few days. God, which just proves that she is in fact pregnant. How could she have not seen that ealier?  
Though... Of what use would it have been to notice earlier? When the condom broke, she just should have directely taken the morning after pill. How stupid can she be that she didn't? But it was just that one time. She didn't think much about it. And now, her life is over.

She tries to ignore it. As if it wouldn’t be true if she would just forget about it. As if there wasn’t a baby growing inside of her, as soon as she would ignore it.  
But she knows that won’t happen. She knows there is this baby and she knows she has to find a way out of it. But what can she do?  
Now that there is this baby, there is no way to undo it. Yes, there is the option of abortion, but it’s not like she will be able to pretend like it never was there then.  
She can barely breath, whenever her thoughts get back to it, which happens constantly.  
Their group of friends meet up the next day. She doesn’t feel much like it, would rather stay alone in her room, at least until end of summer break, which still goes for two and a half weeks.  
And it’s not like she isn’t constantly mean to her friends, but just not coming though they have said they would meet up?  
She shows up, but barely talks to Beck all while they eat together and then have a small jam session at Andre’s. It makes Beck angry at first, then worry, then angry again. She knows his anger in the end hides his worry as well. After all, she doesn’t even lash out at him, like she usually does when he raises his voice at her.  
But she just can’t at the moment, because she knows, when she starts yelling at him or anything, she will tell and... she can’t, can she?  
Though he is the father of this child. She has to tell him. He has to know about it. She absolutely doesn’t know what to do yet, barely can get a straight thought, but he should know either way.  
But the thought of telling him, also makes fear flare up inside of her. What if he will leave her? What if he will say it’s her fault, she should have known better?  
And she knows he’s better than that, he will know that it’s his fault just as much, but... she can’t help but be deeply scared that she will be alone after this. That her stupidness will take everything from her, everyone she loves and her future. She can’t imagine her mother being too happy about this after all as well.  
But Beck first.  
She makes her mother drive her to his place that evening and watches her leave, before she takes a deep breath and knocks on the RV.

He doesn’t know what’s going on with her. She isn’t usually like that and he knows something has to be wrong. But what can he do if she doesn’t tell him?  
It does make him angry, because he just gets so desperate every time she doesn’t feel good and he doesn’t know how to help her. It hasn’t happened all that often until now as they also aren’t together for that long, don’t even know each other one whole year. But it has happened, regarding her father for example and he hates it.  
He doesn’t know what it could be this time, and he wants to go to her and demand to know what’s up, but he knows he will push her away with that. He does know her well enough for that.  
He will just have to wait unil she’s ready to talk to him – he’s surprised to see her standing in front of the RV that same evening. Well, he would have thought she would still need at least one more day with the extreme way she behaved today.  
He lets her in and locks the door behind her, before he asks, them not having exchanged a word of greeting: “Are you finally ready to tell me what’s up with you?”  
He watches how she bites her inner cheek and... what can it be that it’s so hard for her to say?  
Finally, it comes: “I’m pregnant.”  
“What?” he makes, before he conciously realizes what she said.  
She’s what? She can’t be. She can’t be pregnant. She can’t have a baby inside of her. His baby.  
He feels some sort of pressure on his ears and like a rug gets pulled out under him. He drops down on his bed.  
“Oh, my god,” he says. “Are you sure?”  
It can’t be true. But Jade snaps at him: “I am smart enough to do those tests right.”  
So, she did one of those tests. They can be wrong, right? It’s not like a doctor told her she’s pregnant.  
Though... No, those tests are right, aren’t they? And Jade wouldn’t be here and wouldn’t tell him if she would even consider it not being true.  
“How did it happen?” Beck desperately asks. He knows he has to be the father. He knows Jade didn’t sleep with another boy.  
Jade rolls her eyes, is annoyed because she’s desperate as well and tries to cover it, Beck knows. “Well, if a man and a woman...”  
Okay, they don’t have the time for her to be like that. “No,” he quickly says. “When?”  
“You do remember that time that the condom broke, right?”  
He feels sick. Yes, there was that one time. They both didn’t think anything of it.  
“It was only one time,” he helplessly says. It can’t be true that they behave dumb about it one time and she directly gets pregnant, can it be?  
Jade sharply answers: “That’s all that’s needed, Beck.”  
He puts his face in his hands and tries to breath calmly, though he feels like he’s close to hyperventilating.  
Okay. Jade is pregnant. She carries his child. His child.  
“What do we do?” he asks, looking back up, still having trouble breathing.  
Jade has watched him, white as a ghost, her arms crossed. She’s clearly afraid.  
She shrugs slightly.  
Beck takes a deep breath as they look into each other’s eyes. Okay. They can’t panic.  
“What are our options?” he asks, trying to bring some reason back, some ground to talk about.  
Jade shrugs again. “We could abort.”  
For a moment, that suggestions lies between them, then Beck stands up and asks gently: “Do you want to do that?” Is that the simple solution? Is abortion a simple solution?  
Jade digs her fingernails into her shirt. “I don’t know yet. I can’t have it.”  
Beck gets closer to her. So, she isn’t set on an abortion, she just doesn’t know what else to do. He says: “You could also have it and we could give it up for adoption.”  
They look into each other’s eyes again, before Jade suddenly drops her face into her hands. “Oh, god.”  
Beck knows that this isn’t about his suggestion. It’s about the fact that they even need to talk about this, that they have to make a decision.  
“We’ll get through this, Jade,” he says though. Because no matter how bad it looks now, they will survive it.  
“I’m pregnant,” Jade says, desperately, looking back up to him, letting her hands sink again.  
“I know,” Beck assures her. He understands the problem. He understands that this is bad. Still... He takes her face in his hands. “But we’ll think of something. I love you.”  
Their lips meet for a kiss and without another word, they end up lying on his bed and just holding each other, until her mother comes to pick her up.

They meet each other again the next day, which is a Thursday. They just meet for lunch, though Jade doesn’t feel like eating all that much anymore since she has made that pregnancy test. She gets sicker, the more she thinks about it.  
“How are you feeling?” Beck asks, when Jade sits down at the table with him. He took the bus here, while she was able to walk from her house. He was already here, when she just now arrived.  
And that’s not a question, he usually asks.  
She just shrugs. What is she supposed to answer? That she feels like dying, that she freezes every time she thinks about that baby inside of her, that she is sick and exhausted and could possibly go into a panic attack any second?  
Beck takes her hand in his over the table. She’s sure he knows at least part of her thoughts, knows about the chaos inside of her. He must feel similiar – though not the same, because this baby isn’t inside of him, his hormons don’t start raging and he actually has the chance to walk away from this at least partly, even if he doesn’t even think about it. She can’t walk away from this, even if she would want to. She is the one, who definitely has to make a decision and who has to live with it the rest of her life.  
Gently, Beck now asks: “Do you think you should visit your doctor?”  
She looks down to their intertwined hands, her other hand subconciously lying down on her stomach. Her doctor... What will he say? Not like it’s any of his business, but... she knows noone will be impressed with her getting pregnant at fifteen.  
“I should,” she says anyway. If the pregnancy or the baby isn’t healthy, there would be no decision for her to be made. She could just let nature have this.  
Beck nods, apparently relieved that she took his suggestion: “Good. I want to know you’re fine and your body is healthy. And maybe, we’re in luck and you are not...” He suddenly takes a look around, apparently remembering they are in public. Lamely, he adds: “You know...”  
She does know. He thinks the test could have still been wrong and maybe, she isn’t pregnant after all. He doesn’t feel what she does. It’s not his body that suddenly seems eager to prove it’s pregnant.

They don’t talk about it anymore that lunch, but kiss even longer than usual as a good-bye.  
That evening, she calls him.  
“So, I have an appointment with my gynecologist next Tuesday.”  
“Good,” he says. He has hoped, Jade would tell him about it – and he has hoped she would get an appointment that quickly. He just wants to make sure she is okay. She has seemed so sick yesterday, right when she came over; not to mention the day before that. He can understand that. He feels sick himself, and scared. He can imagine it’s worse for her, because she’s always so insecure and probably expects everyone to leave her because of this mistake they made together.  
But maybe, her body itself is also sick, maybe her body suffers under the pregnancy. Though yes, he does still have this small hope that it all turns out to be an error.  
In any case... As he’s worrying about Jade and wants her to know he’s there and with her on this, he naturally asks: “Want me to come with you?”  
For a moment, Jade doesn’t answer, then: “If you have the time.” Which means she definitely wants him to come. She’s usually so open and direct about what she wants; not when she feels insecure.  
And he would like to be there anyway. He just hasn’t known if she would appreciate him there, is it her doctor after all.  
“I do,” he now quickly says.  
They stay on the phone for a long time after that, without saying another word.

They only text over the weekend, and not at all about the pregnancy. Maybe, they both pretend a little, like it’s not there, though it’s constantly on both their minds. But Beck’s grandparents are visiting and he has decided before this mess to spend the weekend with them and Jade planned to visit her father anyway on Saturday and says it’s also fine if they don’t see each other the rest of the weekend as she would like to be alone.  
Jade makes her mother drive her to Beck’s house on Tuesday, from where they can go together to her doctor’s office. She has picked her own gynecologist when she needed the pill, and on purpose went to a different one than her mother. She is more than glad now that she did. She knows her doctor isn’t allowed to tell anyone anything, but she knows her mother’s doctor from when she was still so little she always had to come with her mother to every appointment she had, and she knows that woman would’ve blabbed.  
She doesn’t need her mother to know. Not yet. Though she guesses, she has to tell her sooner or later. Maybe, she doesn’t if she decides on an abortion. She still has to read up if she’s legally allowed to do that on her own, without her mother ever having to know.  
Beck and she barely exchange a word. He asks her again if the feels okay, which she doesn’t react to, then they are on their way.  
She’s nervous to tell her doctor. It will be only the second time she will speak out loud that she’s pregnant, the second person to know.  
Beck grabs her hand as they sit together in the waiting room, him probably being at a gynecologist’s office for the very first time, and definitely also nervous.  
She takes a deep breath as she intertwines her fingers with his.  
They don’t need to wait too long, then they already sit opposite of Dr. Feldman after a greeting and Beck quickly introducing himself as Jade’s boyfriend. The doctor now asks: “So, how can I help you? I imagine you want to talk about something else and more than just when to start taking your new pill as you brought your boyfriend.”  
Naturally, they would’ve started talking about the new pill soon. She was supposed to come again next month to talk about it, to figure out if the symptoms are gone. She had had weird aches in her head and her back and has easily felt naseous for some time. Her mother had suggested, after she finally told her, that it could be because of her pill. Dr. Feldman agreed and wanted to make sure it was because of that in leaving her off of any pill altogether for a while, in hope the symptoms would stop. Then, she was supposed to try a new pill.  
But she doesn’t need a new pill now. It’s too late for that. After taking another deep breath, she gets right to the point: “I’m pregnant.”  
Dr. Feldman needs a moment. He just looks at her in surprise, then he asks: “Didn’t you protect? We talked about how you would need to use condoms even more, when you don’t take the pill.”  
“We did use condoms,” Jade angrily answers. She isn’t a total idiot. Though... “It just... broke one time.”  
Beck quickly puts in: “We kind of didn’t think too much of it at the time. How big are the chances?”  
He shrugs helplessly. Okay, they clearly are idiots.  
Dr. Feldman rubs the back of his neck, watching both of them. “What do you plan to do?”  
“We don’t know yet,” Jade honestly answers. An answer she doesn’t like to give. She wants to know, she wants to be the person with the answers, who always knows what she wants and how to go about her life. This baby screws all of that up. She doesn’t know anymore. She can’t imagine any kind of future anymore.  
Beck raises his voice again: “She did one of those tests. Maybe, it has been wrong.”  
Jade glances to Beck, who watches her doctor so intently. He really hopes that that is the solution to all of this. That after all, the test wasn’t right. He still can hope that. She hasn’t told him that she may still be far away from showing, but her jeans and skirts already close tighter.  
“That’s unlikely,” Dr. Feldman also says and then turning back to Jade: “Which week would you be in if you are pregnant?”  
Jade has tried to remember the exact date earlier because she knew it would come up. She knows if she decides for an abortion, there is a timeline of sorts. But she doesn’t know exactly, and now says: “The condom broke about... six weeks ago.” And there is no other time, where it could’ve happened.  
“Do you know when your last menstruation has been?” her doctor asks.  
God. Great. Now they have to talk about her menstruation in front of Beck. It’s weird.  
She tries not to show any sign of embarrassment and answers: “It’s all messed up since the last pill.” Her menstruation has been all over the place since then.  
Dr. Feldman calmly says: “We usually count weeks from the first day of your last menstration. But if you say it happened about six weeks ago, we would call it about eight weeks pregnant. Well... How about we just take a look? Of course, I also need to take blood and everything, but a sonogram is the easiest way to see right away if something’s up. It might be a little early if you are only eight weeks in, but that way, we also can make sure quickly, everything is alright.”  
So, they do that. Dr. Feldman explains about making a sonogram and Jade expects what she sees in movies. Instead, Dr. Feldman wants to do a vaginal sonogram, because they will definitely see something then and a normal one could be difficult this early, apparently.  
Jade doesn’t want to witness Beck her being examined like that, but... She has invited Beck to come here with her and... before she can even seriously think about throwing him out, they already get started.  
“So, you’re definitely pregnant. There is your baby,” Dr. Feldman finally says and turns the monitor, so they can see. He points out the little thing that isn’t as little as Jade would’ve imagine. She’s almost sure to already see where the head is and where the rest of the body. Maybe, she can even see some legs there. Gosh.  
“Oh, wow,” Beck also quietly makes. “That’s inside of her right now?”  
Jade snaps annoyed: “No, he made that video weeks ago.” It’s just a dumb question. More important somhow is: “Is everything okay with it?”  
“It looks right like it’s supposed to,” Dr. Feldman says and starts pointing out everything as he continues: “You can already see its head and body and its limbs starting to grow. And there is its heart.”  
“It’s beating,” Beck breathes.  
It is. Jade also can see it clearly. She hasn’t known it starts beating already at such an early stage. She has more than one beating heart inside of her now, one from a whole other human being, that’s growing inside of her. It makes her feel scared and at the same time deeply... happy.  
“It is,” Dr. Feldman also confirms. “Well, let me measure the sac.”  
He gets to work, while Jade looks over to Beck. His gaze is still captured by the screen, by the little beating heart. She feels like suffocating as she realizes that he doesn’t want the abortion anymore. Now, that he has seen this child inside of her, he won’t be able to agree to an abortion anymore. But what if that’s the way she wants to go? She can’t have this child. How could she?  
Dr. Feldman gives them a print out of the sonogram and tells them that everything looks good, that she is in fact eight weeks pregnant, closer to nine and that she’s approxomately due 16th March. So, if she keeps this child, she will definitely be a mother by April next year.

“What are you thinking?” Beck asks Jade when they are back in the RV.  
She shrugs, sitting down on his bed. He watches her lying her face down in her hands and hesitates for a moment, before he sits down right next to her.  
“It’s a really tough decision,” he says, because it is. He knows, she’s scared of what’s to come. He is, too. He hasn’t known before that he could feel scared like this. But the whole idea of their child... of his child... they can’t be parents yet. But at the same time... Can they really abort this child? Since he has seen the beating heart, he knows he doesn’t want the child to be aborted. He wants it to live, because it already does in a way.  
But he knows this isn’t his decision alone to make. Maybe, it isn’t his decision at all. He has thought about it on the way home, as Jade and he have walked next to each other without exchanging a word.  
If they decide to do an adoption for example, it would be much harder on Jade than on him. She would have to go through pregnancy and birth, her body would change and possibly even be at risk. He knows she has to decide this. She has to decide if she’s willing to go through with it or not.  
He now carefully lies his hand on her back and is glad that she doesn’t pull away from him.  
Instead, she finally looks back up to him. “If we wouldn’t abort... would you want to keep the child or give it up for adoption?”  
“I don’t know,” he honestly says. He can’t imagine raising a child at their age. But anyway: “I think we should first decide if this child will get born or not. I mean... We know we have different options if we don’t want an abortion.”  
Jade looks at him for a moment, before she softly says: “If I don’t get an abortion, everybody will know. Even if we give it up for adoption...”  
That’s of course true. Everybody will know and talk about Jade. And it’s not like Jade cares too much about what other people say about her. But some things are too much for everyone. And he knows she never likes anybody assuming she’s dumb or something alike. They both know people will consider her dumb for getting pregnant. Everybody will judge over her. And he knows there’s no use in telling her he’ll stand by her, because he wouldn’t have to suffer through the same thing. Beck doesn’t need Jade to tell him. He also knows that teenage girls get judged way harsher than teenage boys, that girls are considered to be responsible for protection. And as soon as she would be showing, everybody would look at her and directly see of her mistake, while nothing would show on him.  
That’s why he thinks it should be her decision. She would have to suffer so much more either way.  
That’s why he doesn’t really know what to say and finally, she shakes her head, before she pushes her face back into her hands. “It’s just a mess.”  
“It is,” he agrees. It is a mess either way, it is a tough decision. How much he has thought over the last few days that he’d just like to tell his parents and for them to make it okay again. His parents always were able to make everything bad go away when he was a child. But he knows they won’t be able to make this go away. Nobody just can make it go away. Not even an abortion will make it go away fully.  
He slowly adds: “Sadly, we can’t just turn back time.”  
“Too bad,” Jade dryly says, not looking up again, instead starting to knead her temple. Sounding angry, she then says: “And I can’t seem to grab a clear thought.”  
Beck gets that feeling. He also can barely think straight. Since he saw that beating heart earlier, he’s sure he doesn’t want an abortion anymore, but he also can’t imagine in the slightest what to do then, how to go about it, whom even to talk to about an adoption or to possibly make it work if they would want to keep it. It’s all just this big mess, they need to work through, step by step.  
“Want to talk about it?” he now asks, though he’s sure she doesn’t at the moment. He may not even know her for a year at this point (which makes her being pregnant by him already so much worse), but he does know her well enough to know that.  
He may think it would do both of them good to talk about it, to talk through it, to really talk about their options, but if he pressures her, she will just leave and will hate him for it. He needs to stand by her now, needs to be there for her in the way she needs him to.  
Therefore, he decides, when she just says nothing: “Okay, then... How about we both just take some time to think about it and talk about it again when we’re ready?”  
Jade sighs almost silently, finally looking at him again. “We have to make the decision soon.”  
“We do,” Beck agrees. Because if they decide on an abortion, they will have to do it soon, or time will take the option away.  
But for now, they really don’t talk about it anymore. They just sit in silence, until Jade says with a shrug that she’ll call her mother to pick her up.

 

She already knows for a week about the pregnancy when they finally go see the doctor. It doesn’t get easier. It still has barely sunken in, she still feels absolute horror thinking about it.  
Her mind is all over the place at all times. Beck and she really don’t talk about it anymore. She’s glad. She has to think about this on her own. Not that she has a clear thought at any point, but she feels like she needs some distance to get some. She can’t have Beck talking to her now. The thought of him and this child, already makes her sick. It’s just that she knows that he wants to keep the child, that he wants it to be born. How can she get a rational thought about this if Beck is constantly on her mind? If Beck scares her as well?  
Because if she decides to abort it though Beck doesn’t want that... He will leave her. He will hate her for it and will leave her and... she loves him. She loves him so damn much that it hurts. She can’t have him hate her. Which is scary enough as they are only a couple for half a year now, but she’s already so deeply drawn to him.  
But who guarantees her that he will stay if she decides to have this child? And what if he then wants to keep it while she wants to give it up for adoption? Or the other way around? If she decides in his sense then again, will that guarantee for him to stay? Will she be able to live with herself, if she just decides for something because of him?  
She doesn’t want to keep thinking about all of it, wants to forget it just for a few minutes. But it keeps being in her mind constantly, and she knows it’s on Beck’s too, when they meet on Wednesday and go to the theater as they have long planned and talk about the play afterwards, as if nothing had changed, as if she wasn’t pregnant.  
They are both actors. It isn’t easy, but they manage. They don’t behave normally when they meet with their friends on Friday, but Jade is sure they are able to make them believe that they have just been fighting and are weird because of that. They don’t think Jade could be pregnant or that there otherwise suddenly is a terrible secret, both of them aren’t able to handle.  
She goes home with Beck afterwards. They have talked it about on Wednesday that she could stay over on the weekend. She wonders if Beck only suggested it in hope they would talk about it then. They probably should talk about it. And as she barely can look her mother into her eye at home, she is glad for the chance to get out while her mother will be home the whole weekend.  
Of course, her mother warns her again to not let anything happen and Jade gets sick and can’t roll her eyes about it like she usually does. Their parents have just now allowed it for this break over summer for them to sleep over every now and then. They rarely have yet. At the beginning of summer break, they have only been a couple for half a year, have dated for some more months, since they have gotten to know each other at the beginning of last school year.  
Well... Their parents haven’t exactly allowed it. They have informed their parents and especially his have fought with him a lot about it, but they had to accept it. (Her mother has known there were more important fights with Jade to fight, so she let it easily slide.) Suddenly, it makes her sick. Because the exact thing happened, their parents were afraid of. Though to be fair... They had had sex before – and she didn’t get pregnant, while she was with him over night. Instead, she has come over early for them to meet up with their friends together, and they still had some time and it happened.  
Tonight, they don’t have sex and they have an extremely calm Saturday, both in thoughts about what to do and at the same time avoiding the thoughts as best as they can. Beck watches her from time to time but she ignores it. She is sure he wants to talk about it, but she doens’t think she’s ready yet.  
He falls asleep quickly on Saturday evening, while her mind is running wild and she turns and throws herself around. Well... Maybe, it is time to think about all of this, to try to collect herself, to find a way out of this, so she can finally have a reasonable conversation with Beck about it. They do have to make that decision about an abortion soon.  
She gets up in the dark, gets to her bag and pulls out the sonogram picture, she hasn’t really looked at again since the doctor, but which she has carried with her at all times. She is glad Beck hasn’t asked her to keep with him; she somehow needed it close to her.  
She sits down at the table and it may be dark but there’s still enough light coming in through the window from the lights outside that she can see the picture. The first photo of her child. Maybe also the last and only?  
She looks at the little thing that could form into a whole human being and be alive and breathing in her arms in seven months. She holds the picture with one hand and puts the other on her belly. Gosh. It’s inside of her.  
She has trouble breathing, thinking back to the moment she saw the sonogram for the first time, how she glanced to Beck and knew he wanted to keep it. He does want to keep this child. He will hate her if she doesn’t. He will leave her and she can’t be alone. She has felt alone and lonely too much of her life and suddenly hasn’t anymore since Beck has been around. She can’t loose him now, over this.  
But can she keep the child just for him? Won’t she hate the child and Beck as well over time?  
Suddenly, there is a whsiper, that startles her: “Please, tell me what you’re thinking.”  
It’s Beck. He’s awake and sits on his bed, watching her closely.  
He has expected her to long talk about it again. Of course, he has.  
And there’s only one thing she can think: “You would like to keep it.”  
Beck looks at her for a long moment, then he stands up and comes up to her, sitting down on the only other chair in the room, right next to her. “I would. Like... I don’t know if I want us to raise it, but... yeah. You are the one having to be pregnant though. You would get the most shit, if not all of it. You would have to give birth and would be at risk if something goes wrong. It’s your body, Jade, which means it’s your choice. I won’t force or guilt you into keeping this child. I’ll love you, no matter what you decide.”  
Jade swallows thickly.  
Beck does want her to decide for herself. He understands how hard this will be for her either way.  
“I love you,” she whispers, before she knows it, drops the sonogram picture on the table and grabs Beck by the collar of his pajamas shirt and starts kissing him desperately, suddenly needing him close and with her.

She’s still afraid that he will resent her for her decision in the end, but his words have finally opened her mind to really think it through. Because he’s right. She has to make this decision on her own. She pushes him aside, even if she still feels like she can’t loose him. It is her body, so...  
She starts actually imagining the scenarios. Without Beck, just with herself. She imagines aborting this child, the child just suddenly not being there anymore. But what could this child become? It’s Beck’s. It would be amazing and kind and loving. It could change the world – or at least someone’s world if it would get to live. Maybe, it would be a big actor some day, are Beck and her both good at acting. Maybe, it would also live a totally different life. Does she have the right to decide it shouldn’t live at all, it shouldn’t get to decide?  
But she doesn’t want to give birth to a child. She doesn’t want to be pregnant and everybody to know. She can’t be a mother. What would she do if she would have it? Would she raise it or give it up for adoption? Would she ever be okay with someone else raising her child as their mother? But she can’t actually raise a child herself. She wouldn’t be a good mother.  
But there must be options, there must be ways to do this. There must be a chance.  
If she aborts, this child won’t get any chance at all. Can she deny it that?

 

After their talk at night, they again act like Jade isn’t pregnant. Beck is over at her place on next Tuesday and then she comes again to him on the Thursday after that. Beck thinks she could be ten weeks now. Time is running out, depending on what they’ll do. And as there’s already a tiny beating heart, he wonders how long it will still be until she’ll already show.  
He’s writing on a script for a play, which idea he had during last finals and he never got around to write down. Jade sits on the couch next to him and reads in a book.  
They have barely talked since she’s over – or while he has been over at her place. They barely know what to say without mentioning the pregnancy, which she should think about and needs to think about on her own.  
Suddenly, she raises her voice though, softly: “I think I can’t abort it.”  
His eyes shoot up from his laptop to her. She lowers her book and also slowly looks over to him.  
“You sure?” he asks carefully.  
Jade bites her lip. She seems unsure, but he sees in her eyes that she is sure about this. She is sure that she can’t abort it.  
The thing, she is unsure about, is a whole other story. And almost broken, she says: “I don’t know what we will do, Beck.”  
She doesn’t know where to go from here, how to handle the situation.  
“I don’t know either,” he softly says, taking the book out of her hand and putting it onto the coffee table, before taking her hands in his.  
He also doesn’t know what to do, if they could and should keep this child or give it up for adoption, how to do either of those things exactly.  
For a while, they just look at each other, then Jade whispers: “Tell me you love me.”  
Because she needs to hear it right now. She has made the decision to have the child on her own account, but she still needs him to be with her right now, she needs to hear he’ll stand with her through it all.  
He pulls her into a close hug and softly says: “I love you, Jade. I love you so damn much. And we’ll find a way through this. Together.”


	2. Telling their parents

They hold each other for a while after the decision, only then, Beck asks: “What’s our next step?” How will they go about it if Jade will go through with the pregnancy? Will they decide whether they give it up for adoption next? Will they inform themselves how an adoption would work?  
Jade looks unsure, like she has every time since they have talked about this. “I... I think we should tell our parents. At least my mother has to know.”  
Because she will be pregnant and her mother will, most likely, be the first to see and notice after the two of them. If he would want to, his parents probably never would have to know, if they give the child up for adoption. Jade doesn’t have to come into the house; his parents don’t like seeing her anyway, because they just don’t like her. One of the reasons he moved out and into the RV, barely two months after they got together.  
But... “My parents have to know, too.” He will take responsiblitly for this and won’t act like her pregnancy isn’t on him, too. And while he’s really scared of their reaction and he knows they can’t just make everything okay again... They will be able to help them. Both their parents will try to ease the situation. “Maybe, they can help us make a decision.”  
He can read in Jade’s face that she doesn’t think they can help much, but she nods anyway and kisses him.  
Then, she says: “I think I’ll directly tell my mom over the weekend.”  
“Want me to be there with you?” he asks softly. This is a big thing, telling their parents about it. Maybe, she needs him there.  
She answers: “There is a good possibility of her killing me, so... no. You can directly tell your parents, too.”  
He does want to tell his parents, but he knows, if he gets around to telling them before Jade will tell her mother, her mother will hear it from his parents. Her mother probably also will tell his parents if she knows first, but somehow he doens’t care much about who tells them. He knows, Jade meanwhile would feel as if she betrayed her mother if she gets to hear it from someone other than her.  
So, naturally: “I’ll wait until your mom knows.”  
Maybe, he can still get to his parents before her mother does. And if he doesn’t, it’s also not a big deal.  
Jade looks at him for a moment, then she kisses him again.

 

Jade truly is deeply scared. She didn’t dare telling her mother on Friday, when she got home from work exhausted. It’s Saturday now. Jade’s little brother Jasper is at his father’s. Her mother is cleaning the kitchen.  
She doesn’t notice Jade coming in and Jade doesn’t feel like drawing her mother’s attention to her as she watches her clean.  
She knows, her mother could very well throw her out for this, for being pregnant. She has tried not to think about it while she has thought about an abortion, because she can’t only not make a decision for Beck, but also not for her mother.  
She’s still scared like hell. As she has thought about telling her mother, she has only fallen asleep in the early morning hours; not like she has slept all that much the nights before. She honestly also hasn’t eaten all that much since she knows about the pregnancy, which is for 18 days now. She knows she has to take more care of herself, she has to eat and sleep properly or it will hurt the baby, she has decided to give birth to.  
But how can she eat and sleep when she’s so scared?  
She takes a deep breath as she tries to work up the courage to tell her mother.  
She has no idea where she’s supposed to go if her mother throws her out. Beck’s parents certainly won’t take her in and her father also wouldn’t give a shit. Not like she cares much about what her father thinks about this, but... she does care about her mother.  
She realizes that her mother’s support in this is the most important for her next to Beck’s. But why should her mother support her? How would Jade have ever deserved her mother’s support?  
If Jade would’ve just behaved well over the last few years, would’ve been the perfect daughter or at least a decent one, she certainly could forgive her even a big mistake like this, but...  
Jade treats her mother like shit, always is out to fight her, never obeys her, always tries to get with her head through the wall. Why did she have to get those dumb piercings just three months ago for example? They weren’t necessary and her mother explicity forbid them but sure enough, she faked her mother’s signature because she wanted to have them. Her mother barely stopped screaming afterwards. If she just wouldn’t have done it... Now her mother probably is already so sick of her and this will easily be the last drop for her mother to say that she can’t do it anymore. That she doesn’t want to have a daughter like her that always brings and makes trouble.  
She swallows hard and takes another deep breath.  
She still has to tell her. It’s not like she can just disappear and show up again when the baby is born and given to another family.  
“Mom,” she finally raises her voice, not nearly as firmly as she would wish. “I have something to tell you.”  
“What is it?” her mother asks, without looking up. She can’t have noticed Jade before, but probably assumes her just having walked in and isn’t startled.  
Jade takes another deep breath, feeling her heart beat like crazy. She can’t do this. Why didn’t she ask Beck to come after all? Beck would’ve been able to give her courage. But she thought she had to go through this alone.  
As she doesn’t say anything at first, her mother puts down the rag and turns around to look at her. Jade usually doesn’t hesitate saying anything.  
They look into each other’s eyes for a second, then Jade lowers her gaze slightly, not being able to truly look at her mother while she finally says it: “I’m pregnant.”  
“No, Jade,” her mother says, the color leaving her face, her taking the last step to one of the kitchen chairs and sinking down on it. “No. No, no, no, no, no. Please, be joking.”  
Jade isn’t and her mother knows it by her expression: “God, Jade.”  
Jade feels like running away and sinking right here into the ground at the same time. Usually, the first reaction of her mother is screaming, no matter what Jade does. Sometimes, they talk afterwards and her mother gets to see Jade’s point, but screaming always comes first. Suddenly, Jade realizes how comforting screaming can be, because that means her mother cares about her, that she is strong-minded, doesn’t give in and has the energy, the will and the emotion to handle anything. This is bad. Her mother just falls together, suddenly looks incredibly broken.  
And Jade almost feels like crying, but she won’t. She won’t cry. She’s expecting a child. She has to be strong.  
“How many weeks are you?” her mother finally asks.  
“It should be ten now if the doctor is right,” Jade answers.  
“You’ve been to the doctor? God,” her mother says. Maybe, she otherwise would’ve hoped like Beck that it wasn’t true. But a doctor confirming... “Well, there’s still time for an abortion.”  
That would be the smart way out, Jade is sure. But she has thought about this and... “Beck and I talked about it. We don’t want to abort.”  
Her mother’s face totally falls. “You don’t want to...? What? You want to raise that child? How?”  
“I’m not...” Jade is quick to say, but doesn’t have the words. She knows herself, just as well as her mother knows, that she herself can’t be a mother. She can’t raise a child. Even if Beck might not yet understand it. She doesn’t want her mother to think she is that dumb, that she actually assumes they have a real shot at raising a child. She needs her mother to know that she’s smart after all, despite the accidental pregnany. “We can give it up for adoption.”  
Her mother takes a deep breath, as if that statement by Jade calms her down, then she softly asks: “How long do you know?”  
“Two and a half weeks,” she answers honestly and her mother seems shocked: “God, Jade.”  
As if she should’ve come to her directly, as if Jade would’ve ever dared that.  
“Beck is with you on this?”  
“He is,” she says. He hasn’t run away the second, Jade has told him.  
Her mother nods, thinking, then she asks: “Do his parents know?”  
“Not yet,” she says.  
“They have to get involved as well,” her mother says, finally standing up. “We will drive up there right away. Let me call them first.”  
Jade watches her helplessly as she takes the phone and searches for the number of Beck’s parents’s home, she has noted down when Jade has started sleeping over there just at the beginning of this break.  
Their parents also have talked on the phone once, have never met. Jade can’t imagine them meeting under these circumstances. But this is how it will be, apparently. She doesn’t want to go to Beck’s parents at all. She already can imagine their judging glares too well. Though she could handle it, if her mother would just... Jade still doesn’t know what she thinks and with her being sleep-deprived and not having eaten enough (and probably with being pregnant), it makes her sick and light-headed. But she’ll have to get through this.  
Though before her mother can dial, she suddenly thinks of something and says: “Beck should be able to tell them himself.” Just like she was able to tell her mother herself.  
Her mother dials, not even looking at her. “Oh, he will. Don’t think I’ll do it.”  
And then, she’s already on the phone and Beck’s mother must have picked up: “Hello, Mrs. Oliver. It’s Ms. Anderson, Jade’s mother. We really have to talk.”

 

Sometimes, his parents call him on his phone to tell him to come inside for something, for a meal or to talk or alike, instead of just coming to the RV and knocking. When his mother calls him this Saturday and doesn’t tell him why he’s supposed to come inside, he already knows what it’s about.  
He takes a deep breath, before he leaves his RV and walks into his parents’ house. Both his parents are in the living room, his father sitting on the couch, his mother pacing but stopping as he comes inside.  
“Your girlfriend’s mother just called,” she says without greeting him like she otherwise always does smiling. “She will come over with her to talk to us. Do you know what this is about?”  
Apparently, neither she nor his father can even slightly imagine what it’s about. Well, it’s time for him to tell.  
“Yeah. I have to tell you something,” he therefore says, takes another deep breath, knowing an explosion is going to come. “Jade is pregnant.”  
“What?” his father immediately asks, jumping up.  
“Are you serious?” his mother asks. “Beck!”  
“I’m sorry,” he honestly says, because he is. He never wanted this to happen. He knows it must come as a shock to his parents – it has to him and Jade as well. He knows this brings everyone trouble.  
“Oh, god,” his mother says and shares a look with his father, before she asks: “Fow how long have you known?”  
He has to think for a moment, then he shrugs: “Two and a half weeks?”  
“Why haven’t you told us sooner?” his father asks, not so much blaming him, more worried, as if he knows what it must have done to Beck to not have their help.  
“Because Jade and I had to come to terms with it first,” he answers.  
His mother asks: “How many weeks is she?”  
“I don’t know. Ten?” She was already close to nine weeks when they have visited her doctor’s. She must be ten weeks by now.  
“Oh, Beck,” his mother makes, while his father takes a deep breath.

 

Jade’s mother has also called her father for him to drive to Beck’s parents’ house as well. Jade wouldn’t have thought her father would do as he is told, as he also doesn’t even know what it is about yet, but he apparently agrees to come.  
Jade’s mother asks her on the way how it even happened and Jade tries to explain. She still doesn’t know what her mother thinks. They don’t exchange another word on the way.  
Beck’s parents look at her judgingly the second she walks into their home, just like she expected.  
Her mother and his parents shake hands and Mrs. Oliver says Beck has told her by now, what has happened.  
Beck meanwhile walks up to Jade and they share a shy and careful kiss, never having kissed in front of their parents before, but they both feel like they need each other close right now.  
“Jade told me they already have decided against an abortion,” her mother now tells his parents. “Which is why I thought we should all talk about it. There will be a child.”  
“Thank you for calling us. We definitely have to talk,” Mr. Oliver agrees.  
And the same moment, Jade’s father pulls up into the driveway. He also is let inside and introduces himself to the Olivers, before he sharply looks to Jade’s mother as if she was to blame for something – because everything is her and Jade’s fault. “What is this about?”  
“Your daughter has something to tell you,” she just answers and expectantly looks at Jade.  
Jade takes another deep breath, feels Beck lying his hand on the small of her back, before she says: “I’m pregnant.”  
“You can’t be serious,” her father says.  
She looks up into his eyes. “I am.” She always feels like she needs her father to be proud of her. Right now, she doesn’t care because there are more important people that have to support her right now. She’s sure of Beck’s support, but not yet of her mother’s. And even Beck’s parents are more important for her right now – if only for Beck’s sake – than her own father.  
“You won’t have this child,” her father strictly says, as if he could ever influence any one of her decisions if he says something pointedly enough.  
“Apparently,” her mother says, “the both of them already talked and decided against an abortion.”  
Jade’s father glances to her, then to Beck, then looks to Jade again: “I don’t care. You won’t ruin your future with this.”  
Her eyes shift away. That’s a valid argument, her future. She does care about her future a lot.  
Beck’s father coughs slightly and then suggests: “How about we all sit down?”  
He leads them into the living room, where they all do sit down, Jade clearly hearing Beck’s mother murmering: “This is a mess.” Probably the first time, they are on the same page, not counting that both of them deem Beck pretty much perfect.

“How did it even happen?” his father asks, when they are all sitting, Beck and Jade closely together.  
He looks at Beck strictly and... well, yeah, they have had the talk and Beck feels like he needs to defend himself.  
It’s Jade though, who tells quietly, obviously hating to have to explain to everyone, to her own father and to his parents, though usually her taking the pill shouldn’t be any of their businesses: “I couldn’t stomach my pill and got off of it for a while. We used condoms, but it broke one time.”  
“And you didn’t take the morning after pill?” Beck’s mother asks, obviously only directed at Jade, only blaming her.  
Immediately, he takes Jade’s hand in his again and clearly states: “Neither of us really thought about it. Theoretically, we knew something could have happened, but... well...”  
“What are you planning to do?” his father asks.  
“We aren’t sure,” Beck honestly says, sharing a glance with Jade. “We don’t want an abortion. But we don’t know yet if we should give it up for adoption or not.”  
“You won’t keep it,” Mr. West immediately says.  
“Christopher,” Ms. Anderson says, looking at Mr. West sharply. “Just... Let us think about this.”  
“I have to agree with him,” Beck’s mother says though. Great. Agreeing with Jade’s awful father. Beck feels something going cold inside of him.  
His mother continues: “My son won’t be a father with fifteen.”  
Well, and that’s just not her decision to make. Clearly, he says: “Firstable: It will only be born when I’m sixteen.” His mother opens her mouth to retaliate, but he continues, raising his voice slightly to keep her from interrupting: “Second of all: I will be a father either way, no matter if we give it up or not.”  
“You will actually be parents,” his father says softly, unbelieving.  
Beck swallows. They will be. One way or another. This will be his child.  
“But you can’t take care of a child,” Ms. Anderson says. “You still need to take care of yourselves.”  
Beck knows there’s truth to that. Jade definitely knows as well, the way she squeezes his hand.  
“You will finish high school and go to college,” his mother says, looking at Beck.  
Mr. West is looking at Jade just as piercingly: “You won’t drop out of high school.”  
“I’m not planning to,” Jade says, angrily. Beck knows that education is important to her and she must hate anyone assuming she wouldn’t give a damn about it. Jade is smart and driven.  
Beck meanwhile is triggered by his mother behaving so much like Mr. West, them suddenly seeming so alike, though his mother is usually so soft and loving and nice – well, except if it’s about Jade.  
He now makes clear: “We didn’t tell you guys for you to lecture us, okay? We want your help for a decision.”  
“You of course will give it up for adoption,” his mother says and his father actually gently touches her shoulder, before he explains to Beck and Jade: “That doesn’t mean that you will never see the child. There are closed and open adoptions. It all depends on what you want. With an open adoption, you will meet the family and know exactly, where your child is. Though maybe, you prefer a closed adoption, to be able to totally concentrate on your own lives.”  
Beck hasn’t known that before. Well, he has gathered that there must be different options for adoption, but... yeah, there is a lot to think about.  
But not only adoption is an option. He squeezes Jade’s hand, before he asks: “What’s the other option?”  
“Keeping it?” his father says.  
“Yes. What would happen then?” Beck asks, looking around at all four of the adults in the room.  
Now, Jade squeezes his hand again, obviously scared of the answer that they will get.  
His mother leans forward, looking intently at Beck and speaking earnestly: “We wouldn’t throw you out, Beck. We would support you.”  
Yes, that does relieve him, though he would’ve bet everything that his parents would be there for him. Not happily, but there nonetheless.  
Ms. Anderson finally speaks up again: “If you decide to have it, you have to realize though that you will have to take care of it. Maybe, one or both of you will have to take a year off, have to postpone your dreams... We would have to talk to the school, definitely, to figure out how to procede. If you decide to keep it.”  
Beck and Jade exchange a look. Beck knows Jade is still scared like hell. But all of this does sound as if their parents are ready to help them. They won’t have to decide this alone. Well... They will decide it alone but their parents will be with them all the way.  
Finally, Beck’s mother adresses not only Beck, but Jade as well: “Beck said you are ten weeks now. If you’re definitely not considering an abortion anymore, you have time to decide. But I think the earlier you make the decision, the easier. Like us talking to the school. Or... If you want to give it up for adoption, you might want nobody to know. Maybe, you” – now she just adresses Jade – “can go somewhere else, as soon as you start showing, then. I don’t know...” She turns to Ms. Anderson and Mr. West: “Do you have relatives where she could go?”  
Mr. West has narrowed his eyes and doesn’t react any further, while Ms. Anderson shakes her head.  
Beck’s mother continues: “I have a sister. She lives alone, in a village in Canada. I’m sure she’s more than ready to take you in for a few months. Your family can visit all the time, Beck of course, too.”  
His mother actually considers them wanting to see each other as well – and wants to make it easy on Jade, her being able to not have anyone know about her pregnancy.  
Jade has been with Beck to Canada just at the beginning of this break. She hasn’t liked that certain aunt of Beck’s – and his aunt hasn’t liked her. But this is also something to consider. His aunt would be able to behave herself for those months; and Jade may be harsh and rough but she is also someone to understand when someone else does something for her, to appreciate it. She would be able to appreciate this.  
Beck’s father also immediately thinks it’s a good idea: “She isn’t one to gossip, so noone else would need to know about you being pregnant.”  
“That does sound good,” Ms. Anderson agrees. “I’m sure there’s something we can tell in school. If you don’t want anyone to talk.”  
Beck and Jade share another look. Well, that’s definitely an option. But Beck doesn’t feel like he can make a decision like that this quickly – and Jade obviously also can’t do it.  
Jade’s mother seems to see that and finally says: “Maybe, we should each talk about it some more in each our families and give Beck and Jade some time to think about this.”  
They agree on that.

Mrs. Oliver still gets to sigh and say that she never thought she would have to think about something like this, which makes Jade’s mother answers: “Life is unpredictable.” It somehow makes Jade feel extremely guitly.  
They agree on actually all meeting again in a week, in hope everyone would have had a chance to think about everything until then. Their parents do make sure to say that they have during all of the pregnancy to decide, but considering Jade showing soon and them possibly having to talk to school, a quick decision would be best – and not changing it all the time. Beck’s mother says so and Jade’s mother obviously agrees.  
After they have said good-bye to the Olivers and Jade and Beck have shared a quick kiss, Jade and her parents leave the house.  
“I can’t believe you let this happen,” her father says to her mother, as soon as they are outside and the Olivers can’t hear them anymore.  
“I didn’t ‘let this happen’,” her mother answers harshly. “But stuff happens, Christopher. Get in the car, Jade.”  
Jade would usually protest and tell her father herself to piss off, but she feels weak and dizzy and is glad she gets a way out. She quickly sits down in the car and closes the door. She watches her parents talk angrily to each other for a minute or so, then she closes her eyes and leans back into the seat, her hands finding her belly that holds a little baby. She takes a deep breath.  
The talk about the adoption has made her a little more sick. She doesn’t know if she can give her child up for adoption. But she also knows she can’t be a mother. Can she be?  
She doesn’t open her eyes when her mother gets back into the car and without a word they drive back home.  
There, her mother drops on the couch, kneading her own temples with her fingers. Jade keeps standing in the entrance of the living room and watches her. Her mother still seems... broken. She has been strong in front of Beck’s parents, because that’s how she is in front of others, just like Jade, but... Here she sits.  
And Jade still doesn’t know what her mother truly thinks, how much she must hate her for bringing her this new trouble.  
After a long while, she softly says: “I’m sorry.”  
Her mother looks up, almost surprised. Jade certainly hasn’t said those words to her in a long time.  
And suddenly, she stands up and walks over to her and draws her into a hug, though they also barely hug, because Jade just doesn’t go for that at all. This time, it feels amazing and relieving, especially when her mother gently says, still holding her close: “We’ll get through this, Jade. No matter what you decide, I’m with you.”  
Jade breathes out a shaky breath, as she hugs her mother back in total relief.

Beck and his parents are in a long talk by that point.  
After they have left the house, Beck watches Jade’s parents talking outside, while his own parents have excused themselves for a minute to talk among themselves as well. He watches her parents and also her in the car, her eyes closed, appearing so helpless. Beck wishes he could just go outside, get to her, pull her into her arms. But then, his parents are already back.  
It’s his mother that asks: “You are sure that this child is yours, yes?”  
His look immediately darkens. “I am.” His mother can’t tell him that she believes Jade sleeps with anyone but him. She’s only fifteen, for god’s sake, and a wonderful girl.  
But his parents truly don’t question it any further. Instead his father says: “Beck. We really trusted you.” And that actually hurts him, because he naturally hates it to disappoint someone, especially his parents.  
“I know,” he says earnestly. “I’m sorry. We didn’t mean for this to happen.” They haven’t planned it and therefore haven’t betrayed their parents or anything.  
“You’ll give it up for adoption,” his mother says.  
He looks at her for a moment and he knows that probably would be the smart choice, but... is it really the only one? “Is there no way to keep it?”  
“You want to keep it,” his mother says surprised. It’s not a question, more stated as if she has just noticed in his face.  
“I really don’t know yet,” he says honestly though. “I just want to know what would happen with each scenario.”  
He wants him and Jade to really think through this, like they each have thought through the abortion. He wants them to make the right decision here and you can only make the right decision if you’re informed, right? They were informed about the results of an abortion, which was enough in that case. With an adoption or keeping the child, he doesn’t know how exactly they would go forward. Especially with keeping the child.  
“Well,” his mother says. “You will finish high school either way and go to college. We will support you. We also don’t want you to give up on your dreams. But it will be much harder to achieve those if you already have a child at your age. Think about it. You can’t just go audition all the time when someone has to look after the child. And you also can get to know your child with an open adoption if that’s what you want.”  
“How would that work?” Beck asks interested and his parents get into explaining everything they know about open and closed adoptions, and eventually also talk about the option of voluntarily giving the child into foster care.

 

On Sunday, Jade’s mother tells her very pointedly that she has to eat, when she just picks at her food for lunch. She glares at her mother because she can’t tell her when to eat. Then she notices that her mother only orders her to eat because of the baby – that her mother actually cares about her and the baby, her mother is actually there for her. Not to mention that her seven-year-old brother is sitting at the table with them and she doesn’t want him to ask what’s up; which he very likely will do if they talk about it any more. So she does eat, though she doesn’t feel like it all that much. But she immediately feels that it does her good, just like the night has done her good, in which she has slept surprisingly well.  
On Monday, it’s back to school for their Sophomore year. Jade doesn’t feel like facing the whole school again, but she has to. And while she feels like she already grows bigger by the minute, she’s sure noone else is able to see. And their friends have also not noticed the few times they have met since Beck and she know, though they must have behaved so differently. So, how should anyone notice now?  
“Hey, babe,” Beck greets her at her locker as she arrives. They share a kiss, before she answers: “Hey.”  
She opens her locker and needs a moment to remember her first class and what she needs for it. She might have slept better since they have told their parents, but she’s still so damn tired.  
Beck must’ve noticed, as he now asks: “Want me to bring you a coffee?”  
Both of them have very recently started drinking coffee every now and then. Jade likes that Beck is able to see that she would like one right now. She already would’ve liked one yesterday, but her mother said that she would do better not drinking any coffee during the next few months. She has gone online after that and has looked up all the food and drinks she isn’t allowed during the pregnancy and she hasn’t remembered as much from her mother’s pregnancy with her little brother. But it’s a lot that she isn’t allowed to have or should at least only eat or drink in small doses.  
“No,” she now has to answer, though she would definitely like a coffee.  
Beck knows her well enough that he realizes that she isn’t saying what she truly wants. He looks at her questioningly and she makes sure, noone is close enough to hear, before she leans to him and whispers: “I’m not exactly allowed to have one.”  
She glances down to her own belly. Beck’s eyes widen. He obviously also hasn’t known that. “Oh.”  
“There’s a lot I can’t have,” she tells him and he tilts his head: “I’m sorry. Anything else, you would like then?”  
She shakes her head. Him being there and worrying and understanding is already a lot. Him standing with her. Him.  
She draws him into a kiss.

 

They go to dinner together on Tuesday, but they agree to not talk about it. They also want to spend the whole Wednesday together, in his RV, and there’s noone that can listen there, which makes it a better place to talk. Not to mention that they both still need a little more time to think.  
His parents have talked to him again on Sunday and on Tuesday morning and have mentioned on Monday evening, when he has randomly said that he’s excited for all the school plays this year, that those plays also will be difficult to manage with a child in the mix.  
On Wednesday after school, Jade and he finally talk about it, three weeks after she has told him she is pregnant. He can still barely believe it true.  
They quickly decide that they don’t want to give their child into foster care, after they haven’t even thought about that possibility by themselves and Beck just having told her about it. But even if they keep being the child’s parents then with the possible option of getting it back into their own home, while being able to finish school in peace now... It appears to be nothing whole for the child. It possibly will change homes regularly then, going from one foster family to the next, never having an actual home. They don’t think that they want that for their child.  
Then, Beck explains to her all the things he has gotten to know about the different kinds of adoption, as they still sit on the couch together.  
“It will be weird to see it with another family,” Jade says as they talk about an open adoption. Beck has also already thought so.  
He doesn’t know their child yet, but he can imagine it totally feeling weird, knowing it’s yours, but seeing it with its adoptive parents, hearing it call someone else Mom and Dad.  
Though: “I also can’t imagine not knowing where it is and not getting to see it at all.”  
He wants to trust the system and knows there are thousands of great adoptive parents, but not knowing at all if the child has a good family? Not knowing at all how it feels, if it’s healthy...  
“I know,” Jade says. “I need to know it’s okay.”  
Okay, so they are on the same page. They have the same concerns. But how will they solve it?  
He watches Jade putting her hands on her belly. He himself slowly moves his hand forward and is glad when Jade doesn’t push him away, but takes his hand into hers, intertwining theirs fingers right over her belly, where there’s nothing to feel as of now and yet, they both know, there’s a child growing inside.  
It’s silent for a while, both in thought, then Jade raises her gaze to Beck again and carefully asks: “Have you thought about what would happen if we keep it?”  
“I have,” he honestly says. He has let his mind wander in every direction. “Do you want to keep it?”  
Jade’s eyes shift away from his again. “I can’t be a mother.”  
But she has just asked him if he has thought about keeping it. She definitely must have then. She has thought about it, but obviously is too insecure. She thinks she can’t be a good mother. Well, if there’s one thing he wouldn’t be worried about if keeping this child...  
“I think you would be a great mother. You’ll love this child to the end of the world and the way you love is everything,” he softly says, because it is.  
There are other things he would be worried about. How to manage school, college and their careers next to it, how to go about their dreams. How to generally be able to take care of a child. But they would learn that last one, with the help of their parents, who have promised their support.  
Which is why he thinks: “You could do it. We could do it.”  
Jade looks at him unsurely, her hand squeezing his on her belly slightly. “It would have a better life somewhere else.”  
But she wants to keep it, the way she looks. She can’t imagine giving it up for adoption, not knowing about the child at all or seeing someone else as its parents.  
And he has considered it before himself, but now that he sees that she would want it, he suddenly feels much more sure about it himself. And if they would screw it up, if they would realize they couldn’t manage in the first few weeks, they still could make another decision then, couldn’t they? It wouldn’t be perfect, but he thinks, no decision here is perfect. There will be problems ahead either way, for the child and for them.  
“We don’t know that,” he reasons now. “It all depends, doesn’t it?” Because even awful people sometimes adopt. It shouldn’t be that way, but that is the sad reality. Just like it’s the sad reality that they could majorily screw up themselves. Maybe, the risk is higher for them to screw up than for the adoptive family; maybe it would be better for the child to be adopted, but... It’s their child.  
“We would need our parents to support us,” Jade says and Beck knows she can’t like that thought. She likes to be as independent as possible.  
But they are only fifteen. They still need their parents either way. And maybe, it is awful for them to ask their parents of this much help, but: “They would support us.”  
But he knows, also with all the support in the world, because his parents made sure he knows: “It would still be tough. We would have to see how to work our dreams around this child.”  
Jade bites her lip, looking at him. Then, she whispers: “We can’t do it.”  
“Together we can,” he says though and Jade looks so unsure and scared. But he’s sure, if they both actually want this and put all their heart into it, they really can do it. And they will both put their heart into it. He knows she will and she has to know he does, too.  
Though... her own father has never taken much care of her, has never supported her or even respected her. Maybe, that also scares her. As if he could turn out like him somehow.  
He almost is offended, but he knows Jade can’t help be scared. This is a scary situation, it’s horrifying. They might already be a couple for half a year, but in the end it’s also only half a year.  
But he assures her: “You know I’ll always take care of this child if we keep it. And you will, too.”  
Jade looks at him for another moment, then she suddenly lets go of his hand, putting her own hands in his neck and pulling him into a kiss.  
He holds her by her sides as he returns the kiss fiercly.  
When they break apart, they still stay close, she lies his forehead against his.  
“What would we do with school?”  
“We’ll find a way. Together with our parents,” he says. “I like the idea of keeping it. I don’t know if we’re actually able to do it, but... we can try.”  
Now, Jade moves slightly away again, but only so they can truly look each other in the eye. “You really think so?”  
Beck looks right back, puts his hand on her cheek, strokes it with his thumb, as he smiles: “I do.”

 

She is eleven weeks pregnant on Thursday and she thinks Beck and she have pretty much made their decision. They want to try. But in school, it scares the heck out of her again. She is scared in general, imagining being totally responsible for another human being, being their mother. But it also does scare her how much all of their classmates will judge. How much their friends will judge.  
She hasn’t really had friends before Hollywood Arts, but she suddenly realize that it means a lot to her to have them now, that she has actually gotten used to them and... loves them in a way. And they seem to like her the way she is, at least they are still around, though she would never pretend to be a different person for their sake. She somehow doesn’t like the possibilty of them judging over this stupid mistake, them thinking she is stupid for not protecting, them... leaving her for some reason because she will be a mother soon.  
She feels helpless and is still so scared, though it helps that she trusts her mother and Beck to stay. Beck possibly not forever to stay with her, because they are fifteen and now know each other for a year, are only a couple for eight months... but he will stay with this child and that helps a lot. She knows she can trust him that far, after he has looked into her eye and promised. She will doubt it over the next few months again every now and then, her hormons raging inside of her, but she doesn’t know that now.  
On Thursday afternoon, she watches her little brother. Jasper also has a father who takes care of him (Jade does, too, but her father never made sure to be able to take her when her mother couldn’t, never left work early or anything for her, so she often had to go to her grandparents of each side when her mother had to work), but it’s easier if Jade watches him for the few times their mother has such long hours that Jasper can’t bridge the time from school to her coming home on his own or play with friends or something. Jade doesn’t do a lot of the things her mother asks her too – she always watches Jasper when it’s necessary.  
Today, she might not really feel like it and her mother actually asked in the morning if she should call his father after all, in hope he could do it, because she must know that Jade is still deep in thought about the pregnancy, but she has said, she could still do it.  
He has made his homework by now and she has allowed him to play on his playstation, while she sits on the couch, surfing the internet. She has actually already searched how other young mothers have done it, if there are mothers out there who raised a child while going to school.  
By now, she just sits there, staring at her laptop, letting her thoughts run wild.  
“What’s wrong?” Jasper suddenly asks.  
She startles as she looks up. He has put his game on pause and watches her. Just like him to notice, there’s something up. He must have noticed already on Sunday, when he was back from his father. But he isn’t nosy. Maybe, he’s worried now, as Jade still is different after a few days.  
She wants to tell him it’s not his business for a moment, but... She will be pregnant and he will see it. Even if they wouldn’t keep the baby and she would go to Canada while she shows... He would know, he would visit her as well. And she does want to keep it. So why not tell him directly?  
“I’m pregnant.”  
Jasper blinks for a moment, then he scoots slightly closer to her. “You’re gonna have a baby?”  
“I will have,” she nods. That’s the reality she has to face. That noone else needs to know yet, though. “Don’t tell your friends yet, okay?” Jasper has a few friends (unlike she had at that age) and she knows he, for some reasons, loves talking about her to them.  
“Okay,” he says, tilting his head, still watching her. His eyes gliding to her belly, then back to her face. Thoughtfully, he asks: “What will the baby be for me?”  
“Your nephew or niece,” she answers.  
Jasper looks at her for another moment, before a bright grin goes over his face. “That’s awesome! I always thought a little sibling would be fun, but this is fine, too. I can teach them everything they have to know. Maybe, we can share my playstation when they are old enough.”  
She has to smile. God, Jasper is still such a child and it’s so easy if you’re a child. It’s beautiful in a way she can’t describe. “That would be fun, huh?” she just answers.  
But children aren’t just so easy in their thoughts, they are also honest in a way a lot of grown-ups aren’t anymore because of politeness or other stupid reasons. She hates it. And it may make Jasper the only person, who will answer honestly and will know.  
Her smile vanishes, as she carefully asks, truly afraid of the answer and yet having to get it: “Jasper, do you think I can be a good mother?”  
Jasper scrunches up his face amused. “You being a mother sounds weird.” It does. She can’t do it. “But you’re an awesome sister, if that helps.”  
And for some reason, there are suddenly tears in her eyes, she quickly has to push back. What’s up with her? She doesn’t cry.  
And yet, she sounds a little choked up as she truthfully says: “You’re an awesome brother.”  
That makes Jasper grin brightly again. Obviously, he loves to hear that.  
“Now, get back to your game,” Jade tells him and Jasper promptly asks: “Wanna join me for the next round?”  
She shrugs. “Sure.”

 

Beck and Jade talk again on Friday after school.  
“Are we going to tell them that we want to keep it?” Beck asks her.  
Her hands find her belly, like they have done so often since she knows, maybe instinctively. “I guess so. You do want to keep it?”  
“I do. Do you?” he makes sure. They haven’t talked about it since Wednesday, but he’s sure Jade would’ve called him at any time if she would’ve changed her mind. Just like he would have, after they pretty much made their decision two days earlier.  
“Yeah,” she also slowly answers.  
“But?” he asks. There’s something more to it.  
She looks at him an shrugs slightly: “It’s just hard. I don’t know.”  
It is hard. He can’t deny that.  
Jade continues: “Do your parents have an idea about your decision?”  
“No,” he honestly answers. They have talked about it again yesterday and this very morning, but he has just listened to his parents again, to their concerns and worries and has it let go through his head. He hasn’t told them he was already very much set on keeping the child. “I thought if we all talk again tomorrow anyway, I can also tell them that then.”  
“That’s what I thought with my mom. Also lowers the risk of her killing me, with witnesses and everything,” Jade claims, but there actually is a small smirk on her face. She knows her mother won’t kill her. He feels like she hasn’t been so sure about that before they have told them in the first place, but she knows now. Her mother will accept it and still be there for Jade. She is a strong woman – no wonder Jade also turned out to be a strong girl.  
But as he could also understand both their parents killing them, he says smiling: “Probably, she can just do it. My parents will be too busy killing me to witness anything.”  
Jade’s smirk gets a little wider at that and their lips meet for a kiss.

 

Both of Jade’s parents come again to Beck’s parents’ home, with Jade, on Saturday, around the same time, they came over last week.  
After they are all seated, it’s Jade’s mother who asks: “So, where are you at with your thoughts?”  
Beck and Jade share a glance and Beck sees that Jade is more than willing to let him have the word on this one.  
He takes her hand in his and takes a deep breath. Well, this is almost as tough as saying that Jade is pregnant at all. Keeping it... But he’s gonna say it: “We think we pretty much made the decision. We want to keep it. To raise it.”  
“Oh, god,” his mother immediately makes, sinking her face into her hands.  
His father and Jade’s mother seem just as shocked. “Are you sure?” his father asks.  
Her father meanwhile shakes his head, staring at Jade judgingly: “You can’t be serious.”  
“We are,” Jade tells him defiantely, looking him straight in the eye.  
Well, and her father really shouldn’t complain in the slightest. Beck can already see him not being involved all that much.  
But he’s not going to call her father out right now. They have other battles to fight, so he turns to his own parents and earnestly says: “We need help though.” Because they do. They aren’t kidding themselves and pretending it will be easy and they can do it on their own.  
“What if it turns out to be too hard?” his mother asks.  
He shares another glance with Jade, as she quickly answers: “We can still think about giving it up for adoption then. But we want to try to make it work.”  
For a moment, it’s silent, then Ms. Anderson raises her voice: “Okay. Oh, god. I guess that means, we have to talk to the school to make this possible. I have time on Monday. I will just go by and talk to the principle. You will be there, too.”  
She looks at Jade strictly. Obviously, she isn’t to go to her class, her mother won’t resolve this without her.  
Well, but this isn’t just on Jade, and Beck is almost glad when his mother says: “Beck should be there as well. If they keep this child, he will be concerned as well. And I’ll arrange to have time off of work on Monday too, so I’ll be there.”  
Jade’s mother nods, obviously agreeing with that.  
Jade’s father meanwhile raises his eyebrows: “You are just accepting this?”  
He doesn’t, as his voice and expression tells. Beck is close to telling him to piss off. He has met him before and has already been angry with him that very first time, with the way he has treated Jade. He only can imagine it getting worse now and while he knows Jade doesn’t need anyone to fight her battles... he really wants her father to know they won’t deal with this.  
But before he works himself up enough, Ms. Anderson says, pointedly, also not having any of her ex-husband’s shit: “It’s not like you can force her to give up her child for adoption. And we told them we would support them either way.”  
“I’m not supporting this,” her father says in a cold voice.  
“Surprise,” Jade says quielty and dryly. Beck squeezes her hand in his.  
“Christopher!” Ms. Anderson hisses. “We can talk about this among ourselves.”  
Mr. West purses his lips but doesn’t say another word and Jade uses the little pause to grab into her pocket and pull out two pictures.  
“By the way,” she says and puts one of the pictures onto the table. “Here’s the sonogram. Or rather... that’s a copy I finally made and this is the original.”  
She holds up the other picture and her mother takes it out of her hand to look at it while Beck’s parents take the copy to also get a look. Even Jade’s father leans over to her mother to see it.  
“There’s really a baby,” Beck’s mother softly says.  
Beck knows she’s touched by seeing the picture. His father as well. He gets it. He was as well when they had that ultrasound.  
“We already saw its heartbeat,” he finally tells and his mother looks up to him, as if understanding something: “Oh, Beck.”  
Ms. Anderson is almost smiling. “Well, the first photo of our grandchild.”  
“Thank you for showing it to us,” Beck’s father earnestly says to Jade, as he gives her back the picture.  
She pushes it further to Beck, while she takes the orginal back from her mother. Quietly, she says: “That’s for you:”  
They look into each other’s eyes and Beck understands that she’s sorry for having kept the picture to herself for so long. He has only seen it at the doctor’s office, shortly after, and the night he told Jade she has to make the decision about the abortion by herself, two weeks ago. He honestly hasn’t had time to even think about the picture during the last two weeks though. He loves to have it now, but he doesn’t blame Jade for keeping it for herself – or for keeping the original now. It’s a photo from inside her own body.  
To show her that it’s fine and that she doesn’t have to be sorry at all, he kisses her softly, taking the copy into his hands, knowing he will carry it with him from now on, like he knows Jade has carried the original at all times and also will in the future.  
“I think we will go then,” Ms. Anderson now slowly says, lookig from Jade and Beck, whom she has watched, to Mrs. Oliver: “We will meet Monday morning at school, yes? We can probably agree on the exact time through these two.”  
Mrs. Oliver nods and they all stand up and shake hands again. Mr. West also shakes the hands of Beck’s parents, then turns to Ms. Anderson though: “We’re not done talking about this.”  
“You’ll come home with us,” Ms. Anderson pointedly tells him and... god, Beck doesn’t want to leave Jade alone with Mr. West. Not that she will be alone, her mother will be there. And it’s also not like Jade doesn’t deal with her father alone all the time, she has visited him all alone regularly for years, and nowadays, her stepmother might be with them often, but not always.  
But Beck can imagine all the awful words her father will say to Jade as soon as Beck’s parents aren’t there. He is extremely... Jade calls it honest and judgemental, Beck calls it cruel in his head. Either way... He also can be polite and knows manners, which is why Beck is sure, he hasn’t said all the bad things on his mind in front of Beck’s parents. He will in front of his ex-wife and his daughter – and would even in front of Beck, of that he’s also sure.  
And how can he leave Jade alone with that? Or even with her mother? He has to stay with her. This isn’t all on her after all. He’s just as involved and has to take responsibility.  
That’s why he also pulls on his shoes as Jade and her parents are about to leave.  
“What do you think you’re doing?” his father asks.  
“I’m going with them,” he plainly answers.  
“You will stay,” his mother says. “We still want to talk to you.”  
Like he cares. But Jade promptly puts her hand on his arm. “It’s fine,” she says. “I’ll call you.”  
She knows why he wants to come with her. But she doesn’t want him to, she doesn’t need him to. She kisses him, then she leaves with her parents, with him staying behind, taking a deep breath. All of this still is a mess.  
He turns back to his parents, who watch him. After a moment, his mother gently asks: “Are you sure about this, Beck? About keeping it? Is it her decision or do you actually want it?”  
“I want it,” he clearly answers. “I know it won’t be easy. But we can’t imagine giving it up for adoption at the moment.”  
He shrugs and sees his parents share a look. They definitely have trouble with this decision and he gets it. It’s a really big one.  
But... “Will you support me?”  
Immediately, his mother looks back to him and takes a step closer. “We will, love. We always will.”

Her father drives to her and her mother’s home in his own car. They arrive at the same time and go into the house without sharing a word. She’s glad Jasper is with his own father again, so he doesn’t have to witness this.  
They have barely closed the door behind them, her mother couldn’t even get the thought of being polite and inviting her ex-husband to sit down, when he already says: “You won’t keep this child.”  
Jade’s hands find her belly. “I will.”  
Her father won’t intimitade her. He never has. She knows he’s not actually able to hurt her in any way. He may be harsh and rough, but he has never layed a finger on her, has never even threatened her with it. Of course, he could harm her by telling her he doesn’t want her to visit him anymore, he doesn’t want to see her again, but... she thinks her pregnancy alone can do that. It’s not like her decision for or against the child will in any way change that he considers her stupid and possibly doesn’t want to have anything to do with her anymore.  
“You’re fifteen, Jade,” her father continues. “You think you can really raise a child? And your mother and I will have to pay for it? Or are you gonna drop out of high school to work and pay for everything yourself? Nobody is going to employ a teenage mother who also happens to be a high school drop out. I thought you always wanted to go to college. How do you think...?”  
“Christopher!” her mother finally interrupts sharply, while Jade has felt her inside freeze more and more. “It’s enough. I also don’t like this, but it’s happening.”  
Finally, he doesn’t glare at Jade anymore, but at her mother instead. “She will finish school and go to college.”  
“She will if we support her,” her mother retorts. “If we push her out of our lives or make her unhappy by giving up her child, she won’t be able to make it. You have to understand that people have feelings, that your daughter has feelings.”  
For a moment, it’s silent. Then, her father looks back to Jade: “Jade, think about it again. You have to know this isn’t the right decision.” And he leaves, without a word of good-bye.  
Jade’s mother sighs, before she turns back to Jade: “Don’t let yourself be pressured into anything.”  
Jade looks into her eyes and she can’t help but say: “You also would like me to give it up.”  
She doesn’t know what she wants her mother to answer, what she expects her to answer. She’s sure, everything she can say to that will be wrong. If she denies it, she lies, and there’s nothing Jade hates more. She needs her mother to be honest with her, especially now. But she also doesn’t feel like she can hear her mother tell her now that she doesn’t want her to keep the child, that she doesn’t know how they will handle it.  
And though Jade is sure, there are no right words for this one, her mother somehow finds them: “I would. I also would have liked for you to never get pregnant. Or for your father to be the man I once thought he was. But life doesn’t always turn out the way you would like it to. And the only thing you can do, is to make the best out of it. So, we will. You will have this child and raise it to be a wonderful person.”  
Jade has to push back tears once more as her mother hugs her again.

 

Both their mothers make sure to only come to school when every student except Beck and Jade are in class. They don’t think anybody has to see them; it’s just unnecessary to already alert all the students to something going on.  
Principle Eikner is taken by surprise as they ask to talk to him and Jade finally confesses her pregnancy once more. But he promises that they can make it work somehow, that he will talk to the teachers (only mentioning as of now that some student is pregnant without dropping Jade’s name) and that they can come back to talk to him during lunch on Wednesday.  
They agree on that and Beck and Jade quickly join their class after the talk. Principle Eikner said he would tell their teacher later that they had a talk, so that they can claim in front of their friends (Andre and Cat also being in the class) that they had no real excuse, as a talk with the principle would be a dead giveaway and they truly are not ready for that yet. Not if they still don’t know how to go about it, how to handle it.  
Jade drops hints about them having forgotten time as they made out when Andre asks (after having told him harshly that it’s none of his business) and their friends easily believe that somehow. Though they have never before missed any minute of any class because they made out or otherwise were too involved in each other.  
On Wednesday, they quickly go to Eikner’s office again at the beginning of lunch and their mothers and Lane are already there. Beck knows his mother has had it easier to take time off this week, otherwise his father would’ve showed up instead – his boss is usually pretty relaxed about time off, as his father also does very good work.  
Lane tells them that they can always come to him if anything is up, that that’s the exact thing he’s there for, while both he and Eikner explain that the teachers seem fine for the child to be at school with them, especially at the end of this school year. Everybody apparently wants Beck and Jade to definitely finish this year and they say they can think about how to procede after that, though the school already has different options: Jade or Beck taking a year off after that, the child going to daycare after the next summer break or Jade and Beck taking the child to school with them, not just as a newborn.  
Jade would of course be in school for finals at least, which are already in June, after she’s due in March, so it won’t be easy, but doable in Lane’s opinion.  
Lunch break is already over when Beck and Jade go back to the parking lot with their mothers, too late for the next class already anyway.  
“Okay, how will we go about it?” Beck’s mother finally asks and Jade’s mother looks over to Beck and Jade as she answers: “I think everything does sound managable. They seem to be willing to be very flexible about it. We should try everything to have Jade do her finals for Sophomore year, but the school also agrees there. And we have different options after that, which we probably have to review at the time.”  
Beck’s mother nods thoughtfully. “Yes. Good. We keep in touch? We will be informed if anything is up?”  
“Of course,” Jade’s mother says, then both of them say goodbye to their children and leave.  
“What do you think?” Beck asks as they both watch their mothers’ cars pull away.  
Jade leans against him. “Maybe, we truly can make it work. It’s weird that...”  
She shrugs and Beck smiles, understanding: “That everyone is with us? It is.”  
And they share a kiss.


	3. Lane

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> With this chapter the confusing one shots start. No, it’s not confusing (I hope), if you read them by itself, like really as one shots. It can happen from now on that I refer to a situation that will only be shown in a later chapter – with all the time jumps going on now (like right in this chapter, I refer to a break-up of Beck and Jade, which I will write out in a later chapter). I just hope it’s all understandable and stuff. I try to always mention how far along Jade is with her pregnancy in each scene or how old Jade’s and Beck’s baby is (whose name is Benjamin, nicknamed Benji – if you haven’t read Their son).  
> Enjoy the read!

Jade is annoyed when she sees Lane sitting in the office. It’s Wednesday. They have talked to Eikner on Monday and that has been bad enough. Jade knows, soon enough, everybody will know. She still doesn’t like it at this point. She feels uncomfortable. But here is Lane, at their second talk with Eikner, now knowing as well. Like Lane can actually do anything.  
She hasn’t had all that much to do with the guidance counselor up until now. She has kind of punched someone at the beginning of last year, which has resulted in a few talks with Lane, but she hasn’t listened to him all that much and has just waited for each talk to be over to finally leave again. She hasn’t had good experiences with guidance counselors before; they have never liked her much, have given her the fault for all the bad things happening in school (after she has always just done a few of them) and all in all were just annoying. She doesn’t think Lane would be much better and is annoyed by the bare thought alone that her mother could get the idea that she would need someone to talk to and would force her to talk to this guy.  
When Beck and Jade are seated, it isn’t directly Lane, who talks, though, instead Eikner starts again: “As I just told your mothers, we talked about everything among the staff. Of course, without saying names yet. Everyone really wants to support the two of you.”  
Jade doesn’t know if that still will be true if the teachers know it’s her they are talking about. She knows, not a lot of people like her and that’s also true for the teachers, especially the female ones.  
Her mother now speaks up: “How will we go about it? The baby is due in March.” Apparently, they haven’t even closely come to the point without Beck and Jade not being there before. But they are there now and Jade’s mother wants to get to the point quickly, like always.  
Eikner answers: “As already said the day before yesterday: Of course, Jade should try to finish her Sophomore year and that should be our main concern at first. All the teachers agree there.”  
Then, it’s finally Lane’s turn, gently putting in: “They also said that they would accept a baby in school. Maybe, you can take some time off, learn at home, especially around the birth of course, and then come back for finals with the baby.”  
Writing finals with the baby in her arms? Jade bites her inner cheek. Being in school at all with a baby, everyone watching... it sounds horrible to her.  
Mrs. Oliver says: “Maybe, one of us can also take time off for finals, so you can write those in peace.”  
Eikner quickly adds: “Yes. And if you” – he implies Jade – “can’t be apart from your baby for too long at that point, you” – he implies their mothers – “can also be around here with the baby, so both of you can see it during breaks, when you’re not writing your exams.”  
Jade can’t imagine either option yet. She can’t imagine actually having this child at all yet. Though it’s obviously about to happen.  
“What about after summer break?” her mother now asks.  
“As said,” Eikner answers. “Everyone is open to have the child at school. We would have to see how well it goes, because we have to think about the other students as well and it has to be calm enough for them to study as well. Maybe, one of you otherwise can leave their jobs and take care of the baby or it might have to go to daycare after break. Or Jade can take the year off, maybe can get homeschooled or can just really fully take the year off.”  
Jade doesn’t want to do that. ‘Taking a year off’ in high school sounds too much like dropping out. She wants to finish high school, she wants to go to college. Maybe, she shouldn’t keep this baby after all.  
Suddenly, Beck speaks up: “I can also take the year off.”  
“You won’t,” his mother immediately says.  
He looks at her defiantely: “It shouldn’t just be on Jade. I have to take care of the baby as well.”  
Jade feels the tight grip around her heart that has been there since she has possibly found out about the pregnancy, loosen slightly again. Beck does mean it. Beck will be a good father, he wants to be there for his child, and he doesn’t think the mother should be the primary caretaker. She knows he also doesn’t really want to push back his high school graduation, but he also doesn’t expect her to do it all the same. It means something to her. It even means a lot to her.  
Under the desk, the two of them sitting next to each other with their mothers to both their sides, her hand finds his and he turns around to her. She doesn’t look back, but squeezes his hand slightly.  
Nobody says a word for a second, Beck’s words still in the air, then Lane says: “Of course, you can take the year off as well. We will have to see how it all works out.”  
Eikner also speaks up again: “I am ready to be flexible on whatever arrangement we make. We should keep in touch either way about everything at all times.”  
Great. How Jade loves to have more and more people involved in her life. She doesn’t want to inform Eikner about everything (if anything) and she already gets sick at the thought that now Beck’s parents have as much interest in every one of her steps as her own mother.  
For a moment it’s silent, then Lane says, earnestly, looking between Beck and Jade: “I think it’s worth a try to take the child to school with you. That way, you don’t have to miss it and can still keep an eye on it yourself. And I think you can manage. You’re both fantastic students. Either way... I definitely want you to know we’ll find a way for both of you to graduate high school in time and also have this child if that’s what you want. It means for you to put extra work in of course.”  
“They are willing to do that,” Jade’s mother easily says and Jade can’t help but agree with her there: “We are.”  
She feels Beck squeeze her hand this time. They are both ready to put work into this. There is no other way. They will have to manage somehow.  
There’s not much more to say. Eikner says again that they have to keep in touch, Mrs. Oliver repeats the options once more, and they agree to talk again when Jade is closer to her due date.  
It’s Lane, who says to Beck and Jade, but somehow more to Jade, as they bid each other good-bye: “And if one of you ever need anything, anything at all, talk to me. That’s what I’m here for.”  
Jade is sure, she won’t ever take him up on that.

 

It’s in the beginning of December, Jade is twentyfive weeks and feels like a whale, though she has still more than three months to go and truly isn’t all that big, and some people in school are still not used to her being pregnant. Her reactions gets rougher every time she hears someone talk about it. She is close to crying at all times by now and she hates it, and whenever she hears someone claim she did it on purpose, or that she is stupid to have this happen to her, or that she’ll never manage and be a bad mother, she has to lash out, because the only other option is to cry.  
She just now has very viciously told some girls to piss off and stop staring, when Lane calls out her name. He has wandered the halls as well and now comes up to her: “Come with me, Jade.”  
Great. That’s what she needs right now. A lecture from the stupid guidance counselor.  
They go into his office and she drops down on his stupid wicker chair, because hey, she is pregnant and at least everyone lets her sit where she wants since she is – and she still fits on it.  
Lane meanwhile sits down on his couch and she’s prepared to let herself drift off, as soon as he starts with his lecture, but instead of lecturing, he gently asks: “Do you want to talk about it?”  
Jade furrows her eyebrows. About her telling those stupid girls to piss off? About them talking like that? About the pregnancy? About the fact that she feels like ripping someone’s head off or crying at any time?  
Either way: “No.”  
“Why?” Lane asks.  
What a stupid question! He does have to know that she won’t talk to him, doesn’t he? “Because there’s nothing to talk about,” she claims though.  
“You are pregnant with sixteen,” he says, actually knowing she just had her sixteenth birthday about two weeks ago.  
Really? Instinctively, she puts her hands on her belly. Sarcastically, she says: “I haven’t noticed.”  
“I bet you have a thousand things going through your mind, ever since you found out about it,” Lane says.  
And not one of them, she will discuss with this guy. Who does he think he is? Well... At least, he has waited for an occasion and hasn’t instantly drawn her into his office when he found out about three months earlier. Or when she and Beck were broken up one and a half months ago, though he must have noticed that as well, with the whole school talking about it. “Like how best to kill you?”  
Lane watches her for a long moment after that and Jade wants to ask annoyed if that’s it and if she can go, when he suddenly speaks up again: “I tell you what: Sometimes, it will be too much for you. If that happens, you can come in here and just tell me to get out. I will leave and come back half an hour later and you can tell any teacher that you had an appointment with me and missed parts of their class because of that. I will back you up on it.”  
“Really?” Jade asks, with her eyebrows raised. As if any teacher, any guidance counselor would ever do that.  
“Really,” Lande says though and... well. Let’s put this to the test: “Then get out.”  
She expects Lane to paddle back, to tell her he didn’t mean it like that, that she has to tell him first what’s going on with her, what’s on her mind. But instead, Lane actually gets up and leaves.  
She looks after him, looks against the door he has closed behind himself. And before she can help herself, she just starts crying, full and ugly. Somehow, the dam just breaks inside of her again. She feels overwhelmed like so often before. But for the first time in school, somehow, in a positive way.

 

Lane actually keeps his word. It happens that it’s too much for Jade and she’s way closer to his office than the janitor’s closet or feels safer there somehow, walks in, and tells him to get out. (If he’s in a talk with annother student, he has a sign on his door that says not to disturb – she never does it then.) He always leaves without hesitation and without questioning, even when she isn’t pregnant anymore, but has her child in her arms – or even when Beck has their child and she comes in alone.  
It feels good to have a definite place in school to be alone, to let the tears out, to not be afraid that some idiot could watch her. That she has that place without questions.  
Lane also gives his office for something else. Even before Benji’s birth, Eikner talks to them about where to change Benji, if they should have a changing table in the school’s restroom. Apparently, there are a few parents who don’t want that as they think it gives off the impression that having a child at a high school age is normal. Which is dumb but Eikner says they should consider everyone’s thoughts. It’s Lane who suggests his office for them to come in and change Benji on a mat on the floor. He says it’s warm enough in LA for him to keep his windows open, and they also have more privacy in his office than in the rest- or (even worse) the classrooms.  
He really doesn’t seem to have a problem with it. Not before the summer break and not after. And while Jade always sends Lane away when she needs to change Benji before the break, she doesn’t say anything alike after anymore, if she only needs to change him. Lane keeps sitting at his desk then (if he’s there at all; it naturally also happens that he wanders the hallways or something) and doesn’t annoy her in any way with questions or comments or even with just watching.

 

When Benji has just turned seven months old, it gets difficult for him to sleep in class. He by now is in a good rythm that he always sleeps before lunch and right after they get home with him. While the second nap isn’t a problem, the first one gets to be. On the weekend, it’s also not a problem – when Benji gets to lie down. In class, they can’t manage that all that well. They carry him in a baby sling mostly, but while he loved to sleep there even after school in the prior months, he doesn’t want to do it anymore. Instead, he gets whiny. They think about making beds up in classes, but he sleeps about one and a half hours for each nap and they won’t stay in the same room for all of that. Having to move Benji with his whole bed around then... They can’t imagine that working.  
At home, they try the buggy for his nap, but he also doesn’t like that anymore, though he has slept in there during walks in his earlier months.  
They talk about one of them possibly having to go home with Benji for his naps, watching him there and taking him back afterwards, but that’s a lot of time passing and a lot of school to be missed for either of them each time. At the moment, they mainly try to get Benji to sleep in their arms and eventually leave class with him, rocking him in the hallways with Benji crying and screaming, until he’s so exhausted that he falls asleep. That’s naturally not the solution and going home would be a better one; they already realize that after not even one week of Benji being extreme like that.  
On this Friday, Jade just takes Benji into Lane’s office, after Benji is crying terribly again.  
Lane stands up as they walk in.  
For a moment, Jade wants to send him out, because Benji gives her a headache as it is and she isn’t sure she can deal with Lane now, but as she stands there in the silent office, she suddenly gets the thought: “Do you mind if I lie Benji on the couch?”  
“No, sure,” Lane immediately says and so, Jade does, lies him down there, goes on her knees next to him, after dropping his bag, holding his small body and stroking his hair with her other hand.  
Lane watches them as Benji quickly calms down with Jade whispering to him and touching him like that; and finally lying.  
And without much more effort, Benji goes from calm to asleep.  
Jade takes a deep breath as she realizes, he’s finally asleep and so easily as that, like at the weekends or like for his afternoon nap (the night sleep is always a little more difficult).  
For a moment, Jade hears nothing, except Benji’s calm breathing, not even her own, then there is Lane’s whisper: “Does he need this?”  
He holds up a blanket that usually lies over the backrest of the chair in the room. Jade guesses it mainly lies there to let the room appear more comfy. She thinks it’s dumb.  
Now, Lane has spread the blanket and holds it up and Jade takes it and pulls it over Benji. Without looking at Lane, she murmurs: “Thanks.”  
She makes sure, Benji is all covered, still sitting on her knees right next to him, and then stroking his hair again. She feels Lane watching but doesn’t look back. She feels uncomfortable. She hasn’t actually spend time with Lane at all until now. When she has come here to cry, she has always sent Lane away. She has sent him out of his very own office and he has always obeyed. She has let him stay when she has changed Benji, but she has talked to Benji while doing that, has ignored Lane and he has also never tried talking to her. She also never has been here for too long, just to change Benji. Now, Benji is asleep and she will probably stay a while with him. And Lane has of course allowed her spontanously to lie the boy down here, has even quickly handed her a blanket for him.  
She doesn’t know how to handle anyone being nice to her. She doesn’t know how to handle it with her friends, with Beck’s family, barely with her own mother and Beck, to be honest. How can she talk to Lane when he behaves like this?  
She just watches her son instead, when Lane finally speaks up again, quietly as to not wake Benji: “I heard there is a problem with his nap.”  
It’s a clear prompt to say something about it and Jade usually hates stuff like that. Why can’t people outright ask if they want to know something, instead of just randomly saying something like that. But somehow, she isn’t too annoyed this time and just says: “Yeah. Beck and I think about one of us going home for his nap from now on.”  
And maybe, she does say it in hope Lane comes up with a better idea. They also both have shortly talked to their parents about it, who have said that they have to try themselves to handle this, that they will try to help them with a decision though if they still don’t have a satisfying solution in a month.  
Beck has talked to his parents and Jade to her own mother, but her own mother has sounded like she thought one of them coming home is an acceptable solution. Beck has assured her he also doesn’t think his parents have a better idea.  
Yet, she somehow expects Lane to have a solution. How should he have? How can she think he would have?  
But he says: “That takes a lot of time. He also seems to feel comfortable here. Why not let him have his naps in this office?”  
Jade slowly looks from Benji to Lane. Lane stands at the end of the couch, his head tilted, looking at the little boy.  
Benji could lie down here for one and a half hours, unlike in class or in the hallway or anywhere else in school. But can they lie him down here?  
When she doesn’t say anything, he looks back to her and quickly adds: “You can stay with him. I’ll do my work and you can do some of your homework. Then, you wouldn’t have the way home and back and miss more of your classes than necessary. Beck and you also would be able to change in between.”  
Jade looks at him. Is he serious? He would be okay with them occupying his office every single day for such a long time? He has to know how long a nap lasts for a half year old child.  
“You really would be cool with that?” she asks with narrowed eyes.  
Lane smiles at that. “I really would be. Talk it over with Beck. You can definitely stay here for now. Benjamin is asleep anyway.”  
And he goes back to his desk.  
She doesn’t even know what he would be working on, what’s the point of him being here, what he does the whole day. But she also doesn’t care much. Instead, she now lies her head next to Benji, next to him on the couch, still sitting on her knees next to it, and closes her eyes.

They don’t talk, instead she almost falls asleep and just in time for the break finally texts Beck where to find them.  
Beck comes into the office as soon as break starts, of course knocking at first. “Hi,” he says to Lane, before coming closer to Jade and Benji. Jade still sits next to Benji, not on her knees anymore, but all the same. She also watches him not falling down, whenever he turns. He usually still sleeps in a crib and probably also still will for some time.  
Beck sits down next to Jade now, they share a short kiss before he also leans down to Benji and kisses his cheek. Lane meanwhile stands up and says: “I’ll leave you alone to talk.”  
And he leaves. Jade looks after him for a moment, while Beck already asks: “What’s going on?”  
Obviously, he wonders, why Benji and Jade are here, instead of in class or now in the hallways as it’s break. He does know that she uses the office to be alone sometimes. One time, she has even taken him there with her, when she has needed him to hold her while she cried. She has never explained how that came to be and Beck never asked.  
This can’t make any sense to him, Benji sleeping on Lane’s couch.  
Jade explains: “I kind of went here when Benji went crazy again and... now, he’s asleep. Lane offered for us to stay here with Benji during his naps in the future.”  
Beck looks surprised. “Wow, that would be amazing.” He definitely also directly understands what that means, what it would entail, especially for Lane. At least, he adds: “He’s a great guy.”  
For some reason, Jade actually thinks the same. Somehow, Lane is... a better person than Jade ever would have expected before she became pregnant.  
“Can we ask it of him?” she asks though.  
Beck and she look at each other for a while, before Beck nods: “I think so. He really wants to do us good. And it’s fine to accept help.”  
It’s still hard for both of them, especially for her. After they have needed so much help already, it’s still hard to accept it. She has never wanted to become this dependent on other people. She also never would’ve guessed that so many people would actually help her, that her dependence wouldn’t be hold against her, that so many people would be so good about it, even with her.  
She can’t help but draw Beck into a close kiss.  
When Lane comes back, they tell him they want to try out to have him lie down in his office. Beck stays there for the rest of this nap, while Jade gets to go back to class. For Monday, they make up a bed on the floor with the blankets, cushions and pillows, Lane has in his office. That way, they at least don’t have to watch him not falling off somewhere.

 

It works the whole week through. This Friday, it’s Jade’s turn all the way through and at some point she goes to the restroom, only to come back and find Benji awake, satisfied in Lane’s arms.  
Jade comes to a halt right behind the door, after she has closed it, and narrows her eyes.  
Lane, who stands in the room with the little boy in his arms, has noticed her, and says to him: “There’s your mama. I told you she’d be back in no time.”  
And he walks up to her and hands her child back to her.  
“He hasn’t cried?” she asks. He’s clearly awake. She somehow would’ve expected him to cry, if he wakes up and neither his parents nor his grandparents are around, people he knows and likes. Especially as he’s so sensitive around so many others, cries when they are too close. Well, that’s of course mainly, because she hates most people and Benji seems to be able to feel it and reacts accordingly, but... She generally would’ve assumed that a child cries if it wakes up and nobody it loves is close. Or at least nobody it likes. Well... Maybe, Benji somehow likes Lane.  
At least, Lane also answers: “He hasn’t. He woke up a minute ago and he knew you would be back, so...”  
Jade looks down to her little son in her arms, quickly in thought.

She still gets to go to class shortly, before lunch break starts. She doesn’t even put Benji in the baby sling for the class, holds him in her arm instead, and directly gives him to Beck as they meet in the hallway.  
“Let’s talk,” she says as they go outside and he of course knows what that means. Instead of sitting down with their friends (Andre and Cat already at the table), they go further and sit down on a table of their own.  
“What’s going on?” Beck asks, casually stroking their son’s cheek while looking at Jade attentively.  
Jade directly gets to the point as she explains: “I had to go to the restroom earlier and left Benji alone with Lane. He woke up, while I was away, and was fine with just Lane being there.”  
“He was?” Beck asks, obviously also surprised. Then, he smiles: “That’s great.” Because it is. Benji not crying, feeling confident, is always something to celebrate.  
Jade watches him closely, as she slowly continues: “It made me wonder... Benji is asleep anyway during his naps and we also would be close-by and could be there in a minute if we were in class.”  
Beck instantly understands what she means: “You would like to leave Benji alone with Lane and have us go to class during his nap?”  
Gosh, it sounds bad when he says it. Leaving their son alone with some guidance counselor, just to not miss anything said in class... “Does it make me a bad mother?” she softly asks, quite enough so nobody else than Beck can be able to hear.  
“No,” Beck answers without hesitating. “Why should it? I think it’s a good idea. If Benji truly has no problem with it... I don’t see why we shouldn’t be in class instead of sitting with him the whole time through. Have you asked Lane already if he would be okay with it?”  
She hasn’t because she naturally wanted to talk to Beck about it first. Not to mention that this is again something to ask of Lane. After he has given his office to her to be alone, to them to change Benji and now to Benji for his nap... to ask him to actively watch Benji, to not be able to leave his office in between, because he would need to stay with the little boy the whole time through...  
She bites her inner cheek and Beck speaks again: “He will be okay with it. I’m sure. Wanna go ask him right after lunch?”

They do. Lane says it’s no problem at all. Jade makes sure to tell him that he absolutely needs to stay with Benji, that noone else is allowed to touch or watch him and that he needs to text them whenver Benji is awake, so they can be with him again.  
Benji really is able to sleep without them around and has barely problems waking up only to Lane. Sometimes, he does, but even less after they bring his favorite blanket and leave that with him.

 

When Jade is in Canada with Benji and Beck one time, visiting Beck’s family, she sees a set of special scented hand lotions in a store and buys them. When Lane isn’t in his office one time, when she changes Benji there, she leaves the set on his desk. She isn’t a fan of verbally thanking someone. (What’s the point anyway? What does the thanked person get out of it?) She isn’t a fan of any kind of mushy words. And she’s glad Lane doesn’t ever mention anything about the lotions suddenly appearing in his office without a card or anything. She is sure he knows who put them there and he uses them all the time, after everything he already did for her, now also understanding and accepting her thanks so easily.  
She will forever think of him as a weird guy, because he just is. But she likes him nonetheless because he was exactly the guidance counselor she needed, and more.


	4. Anniversaries and gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Yeah, this chapter is extremely quick – but it’s also relatively short. I hope it will be the shortest one, but I can’t promise.  
> What you will possibly notice is that in the first scene of the last chapter Jade is eleven weeks pregnant, in the first scene here, she is twelve weeks, the next one has her with fourteen weeks in the first scene. So, the first scenes will be chronologically, alright? Which means, as soon as you read about the birth right away (which will very likely be a whole chapter long and I see it at chapter 12 or 13) you won’t get to read any more scenes with Jade pregnant. Except you wish for some certain scene after I’ve already uploaded the birth-chapter. But I’d like it much better if you would just tell me as early as possible if you want a certain scene or whatever. So I have time to think it through and work it into the rest, if I am able to include at all.  
> Oh, now especially to this one shot: I guess those ring necklaces are very likely necklaces with hex nuts instead, as far as I can see if I zoom in. But I made them normal rings here – because I already did that in Their son as well and this is the same universe.  
> And, important: Beck and Jade might be minors but they do have sex. Which can’t surprise you as Jade is pregnant. But yeah, it’s mentioned in this one shot some more, but I’m not actually describing it. It’s not more than I’ve already talked about in these sentences just now.  
> Okay, enough talk. Sorry. Have fun reading!

Jade is twelve weeks pregnant. Only Beck and her, their parents and Eikner and Lane know as of now. Their Sophomore year has started and the anniversary of their first date approaches.  
Beck has invited Jade on a date to celebrate the occasion. It’s a Monday this year and after the stressful weeks they’ve been through, after the stress they still have, he hopes they get to relax a little and finally think about something else. They have been on dates before since the pregnancy, have spent time alone, and haven’t talked about it constantly. It has been on both their minds though without pause, when they have seen each other. Today, it’s finally supposed to be different.  
As they meet up at his locker after their last class, Andre joins them as well and asks: “Hey, Robbie and I just thought about going to the movies. Wanna come with?”  
Jade looks at Beck expectantly. Beck hasn’t told her what he has planned for the day. She, without a doubt, considers it possible that he wanted to take her to the movies anyway and they therefore could join Andre and Robbie (and possibly Cat if she joins as well).  
He puts an arm around her and says with a smile though: “Nope. We have something else planned.”  
“What is it?” Andre asks interested, but Beck says: “Can’t say because it’s still a surprise for Jade.” Naturally, Andre looks confused. Beck and Jade usually plan their dates very much together. He explains: “It’s the first anniversary of our first date.”  
“It is?” Andre asks surprised. “Wow. You are already dating for a year! Congrats!”  
“Thanks,” Beck says with a smile, with Jade possibly smiling a little bit as well.

She already knows where they are going when they sit down in the bus.  
“So, you’re inviting me to our theater,” she says and... yes, he is. They have a theater, they regularly go to. They have first found it for their first date, so now exactly one year ago. They have had a long day in school now and luckily, the theater has an early performance today, so they can pretty much go there right away.  
“And we’re going to the pizza place afterwards,” he says with a smile. There is a pizza place close to the theater and a year ago, they just were hungry after the performance and went there to eat and talk about the play they had watched.  
“We’re redoing our first date. How cliché,” Jade comments, but her small smile tells Beck that she likes the idea of it. Especially with everything going on, just getting back to that first date, to that first spark...

The play they get to watch is good like every play they get to see at that theater. They talk about it over their pizza and at some point, Beck realizes that he finally was able to forget all about the pregnancy for once. With their parents knowing and supporting, with the school also seeming relaxed about everything, it finally is possible to stop thinking about it for once, to really just talk about something else, even freely laughing with each other again.  
Of course, soon enough, their lips also meet, they start making out, trying to not attract too much attention though. Before Beck knows it, Jade says in that seductive tone: “We should go back to your RV, before my mom wants to pick me up.”  
They are still not done with their pizza, but it is indeed already late and Beck guesses, Jade usually would’ve texted her mother to pick her up from here. But they also can reach his RV per foot from here and still have some time alone there...  
He’s more than ready for it. They actually haven’t had sex for a month now, since they know about the pregnancy. There was just so much going on at all times. But gosh, yes. It’s not like they are doing it for a long time. They just had their first time at the beginning of the same year. But they are really into each other and since their first time, they had many many others.  
While he totally wants to go for it, he doesn’t know about her though. “You sure?” he asks. He doesn’t ever want her to sleep with him because she feels like she has to because he wants it or something. And as she’s pregnant... He doesn’t know if she wants to at the moment. If her body wants it. He’ll find out that the pregnancy doesn’t keep her from wanting him like that at all – and he definitely also hasn’t got a problem with it, even as it grows more visible.  
She rolls her eyes a little bit. She has already told him once that she hates when guys ask her if they can kiss her. She has told him to not dare to ever do that, as she would break up immediately. Him asking if she’s sure, after her even suggesting sex... that must feel just as stupid for her as someone asking her to kiss.  
But luckily, she doesn’t hold it against him, doesn’t get angry at him. Probably because she does get where he’s coming from.  
She doesn’t answer the question per se, but instead quietly says: “You know if there’s one good thing about this, as we’re both healthy... We don’t have to worry about protection anymore.”  
She smirks as she says it and he can’t help, but smirk as well. Well, she is right there.  
“That is good,” he therefore confirms cheekily, before he stands up, drawing her with him, before he quickly pulls out his money to pay for the meal. “Let’s go.”

~

They have their first anniversary of getting together four months later, in the beginning of January. Beck’s sixteenth birthday is coming up two weeks later and Jade is thirty weeks pregnant.  
The exact date falls on a Saturday this year. Jade warns him with a smirk, not to take her out to the Asphalt Café, where they got together and told each other their first ‘I love you’s the very same moment. They instead actually take the day to buy some more things for their baby. Which is pretty weird, on their first anniversary, but that’s how it is.  
They buy bottles and a pacifier and finally one high chair, which they directly put into Beck’s parents home, still in its individual components of course, as they also won’t use it for a long time. But as they eventually will need it, they decided to buy it already. They also got it relatively cheap.  
They spend time together in the RV afterwards. Beck is glad that Jade is finally independent, has a car by now and can just come and go whenever she wants, can drive both of them around. He’s even more glad about the fact that he soon will have the same luxery, with both of them having permissions to drive all on their own, driving each other and driving their child from their sixteenth birthdays on. It’s great that Jade doesn’t have to call her mother anymore to ask her when she can pick her up.  
Their parents also already got a little more relaxed about curfew. His parents have had a serious talk with him about how he has to be more responsible, especially if he will sleep over at Jade’s or Jade in his RV every night coming March. Responsible in the sense of not making the same mistake again, but also in general. To just not do something stupid, to call if he feels unsure about a situation, to not drive if he doesn’t feel safe (as soon as he’s allowed to drive on his own), to not be out too late at night. Beck is impressed that his parents are actually able to put even more trust in him now, after he has broken their trust so crassly with impregnating Jade. It’s weird to get more liberties, after abusing one of them. But it’s a special situation, special circumstances and they all have to adjust somehow.  
Jade says she hasn’t gotten a talk like that with her mother. Her mother has just told her to remember to be careful when Jade has told her she would like to stay over a Beck’s a little later sometimes, not directly sleeping over, but still spending more time with Beck. Well... Jade’s mother is used to just having to accept what Jade decides.  
They have just settled down on the couch in the RV after having dropped pacifier and bottles on the table, when he finally pulls out the small box from under the cushions. He’s a little nervous about giving this present to her, but... well. It’s their first anniversary. What better time than today?  
“By the way, Jade. I have a small gift for you for our first anniversary,” he tells her as he gives her the box.  
She takes it and cocks an eyebrow: “And I was so glad you didn’t give me flowers today as that would’ve been way to cliché.”  
That sounds like she also thinks it’s too cliché to give each other anything at all for an anniversary. Well, she isn’t your normal person. He still has to smile, as he says: “Open it and you see it’s even more cliché.”  
That also makes her raise her other eyebrow, before she finally turns back to the box in her hands and slowly opens it.  
It’s two necklaces with matching rings on them. That definitely is cliché. But he thought she would like it anyway. He’s not sure now, as he watches her.  
“One for me and one for you,” he explains the obvious. “Do you like them?”  
Usually, he’s so much better at reading her by now, but he really can’t see anything. Until she looks up, that is.  
“They are rings,” she says and... looks touched, even if she says it in a rough sort of voice.  
He smiles, relieved that she likes them, and explains: “Promise rings. We’ll be a family, Jade.” He thought about that for a while now. About the fact that they will be family. It’s incredible. It warms his heart, every time he thinks about it. He’s pretty sure, it warms Jade’s just as much. That that thought also doesn’t scare her in the slightest, but makes her happy. “This is to show that. And to reinforce my promise to you to always think about what’s best for our child and to always be honest to you. I promise to be as good of a boyfriend to you as I can be.” Because he knows he can do all that. He can always priorities their child. He can always be honest with her. And he can at least try to be a good boyfriend.  
He knows she hates promises that noone can fulfill like loving your partner forever. You can’t promise that because it’s not in your hands.  
He also hates it. Promises are there to be kept. And he definitely wants to especially keep his promises to Jade, who has been disappointed by her father and her grandparents way too often.  
She looks at him intently, before she lies the box down in her lap, in front of her big belly, takes one of the necklaces out and puts it on herself. Then, she also takes the other one, takes the box and lies it down on the table, right to the pacifier and the bottles, and leans over to also put on his.  
While she does so, she quietly says: “I promise to be honest to you as well and to always be there for our child. I am not sure I can be a good girlfriend.”  
She says it with a smile, somehow making a dig at herself. She knows, she isn’t an easy person. But... she is perfect for him.  
“You are the best I could imagine,” he honestly says and by now, she must be done with the necklace, but her hands are still in his neck, her face is now directly in front of his.  
Against his lips, she breathes: “I love you, Beck.”  
“I love you, too, Jade,” he answers. “It’s almost ridiculous how much.”  
He loves her so much, every day a bit more. It’s crazy, but it feels so good. To have this person, you love and trust beyond anything else. This person, that’s not a parent, but the same age, equal to you in so many senses.  
And he knows he can’t promise to always love her, that they will forever be with each other. But he can’t help but hope that they won’t just be bound through their upcoming child together, but also forever through this immense love.

~

Jade isn’t one to go for special holidays. Yes, she does insist of them spending time together on their birthdays. Christmas is also special to her. But everything about special dates in relationships always seems to be too cliché for her. Okay, that’s not true. She just thinks Valentine’s Day is ridiculous for example, while she does remember the dates of them getting together or them having their first kiss. Or even them having sex for the first time. She just doesn’t like this typical “giving presents” to each other for special dates – and then superficial ones that you could get anyone. Like flowers or chocolates. But she mainly just doesn’t like giving gifts herself on dates like that. Because she doesn’t like being predictable and those dates are the moments you would expect them.  
Beck also doesn’t care much. She does give him presents every now and then in her own way. But he wouldn’t need them at all. As he knows her though, he isn’t too surprised to suddenly get a gift one day in November, two weeks before her own seventeenth birthday.  
Benji is eight months old. They have just gotten to Jade’s place from school and Jade has sung Benji to sleep for his afternoon nap.  
They of course should do their homework next, but Beck is so tired. Benji has stayed with him over night since Monday. It’s Thursday. He will stay with Jade this night and after that, they will all sleep together again. He loves when all three of them are together, he loves Benji and Jade both close, but he’s also glad to have the next night off, and probably also one or two nights after the weekend. Finally a night to sleep through.  
As of now, joining in Benji’s nap also sounds great though.  
So, as Jade sits down next to him on the small couch in her room, he promptly scoots to the side to lie down and lie his head directly in her lap.  
“Will you sing that lullabye to me, too?” he asks, looking up to her.  
She smirks, as one of her hand goes into his hair. Instinctively, he moves his head into her hand, enjoying the gentle touch, so caring and loving.  
“Also need a nap?” she asks.  
He nods slightly, before he adds with a smile: “And I need you singing for me once in a while.”  
He has already claimed he’s jealous of Benji sometimes. He even is a little every now and then. It’s just that Jade’s love is so precious; of course it’s hard to see someone else receive it, even if it is his own son.  
Her smirk gets a little wider. “Idiot,” she says and then, suddenly: “I do have something for you though. If we’re on the topic of me giving something to you anyway.”  
She pushes him off of her and he quickly sits up, slightly confused.  
She goes to a shopping bag next to her cupboard. He has noticed it before and has planned on asking her about it. He knows she went shopping with Cat yesterday. Afterwards, she still dropped by in his RV to kiss Benji and him good night. He already asked her if she had fun out with Cat, to which she just rolled her eyes. As he has seen the bag, he has guessed, she must have bought something, and of course has been interested to see it.  
Apparently, it’s something for him. At least she empties the bag by drawing out just a small box, which she hands him as she sits back down next to him.  
“What is it?” he asks excited, already understanding that she has just randomly gotten him some sort of gift and already loving it. Jade doesn’t often make gifts, but if she makes them, they are always extremely personal and just perfect.  
Jade pretends to be irritated, as she does: “If you would open it, you would see.”  
He smiles at her, before he turns to the box and opens it. He feels, how closely Jade watches him. Oh, he knows how she must feel right now. He has been in that position at the beginning of this year, as he has given her the ring necklaces, they are both now wearing.  
This is another pair of necklaces. One with a lock, and one with a key.  
“Only one of those is for you, as you can guess,” Jade says, just like he has told her that the ring necklaces were for both of them. She takes the necklace with the lock out of the box. “I keep this one.”  
So, she’ll have the lock, while he will have the key for that same lock. Like he has the key for her heart. Wow, that’s cliché. And he loves it. He loves what this means. He loves how Jade communicates it to him. He loves everything about Jade.  
He has to tease her a little: “So, I’m doing a good job at being a good boyfriend to you?” He’s not only keeping his promise at trying to be a good boyfriend, but even goes beyond that in succeeding in being a good boyfriend?  
“Not with that smirk, you don’t,” she claims, and yet, her hand suddenly is in his neck and she draws him into a slow kiss, he of course returns.  
Blindly, still kissing her, he takes the second necklaces out of the box, puts the box aside, before he also finally touches her, pulls her closer, the necklace securely in his hand.  
When their lips break apart, she whispers the familiar words: “Say you love me.”  
And sometimes, he likes to tease her. Obviously, he loves her with all his heart. And he tells her all the time, unlike she tells him. Still, she wants to hear it even more often. He likes it. He likes that she wants to hear him say it all the time. And he likes that he actually can make her say the word she barely uses.  
“Magic word,” he softly says. Both know that even if she wouldn’t say it, he obviously would still love her and tell her so. She could deny it to him any time.  
But for some reason, she always says the word as asked, never angry, never demanding, but soft and sweet. It’s like a little dance they do, nothing serious, something just for them. Him asking for some politeness and her actually giving that to him, though she otherwise never is polite. Her asking him to tell her that he loves her and then even saying a please, easily equals an ‘I love you’ by her.  
“Please.”  
“I love you,” he says, kisses her again. “I love you so damn much, Jade.”  
They kiss again, more passionately this time.  
And it’s so easy in her house to get some time alone. In the RV, Benji is always pretty much in the same room. But here, with her mother still at work and Jasper often with friends in the afternoons, with Benji asleep for his nap, they turn on the babyphone, to be absolutely sure, and have the rest of the house for themselves, just to be with each other.


	5. Telling friends and school, and Looks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, guys!  
> They tell their friends about the pregnancy in this chapter/ one shot. That part’s really short, but don’t worry, I will write more about their friends. They will have another chapter, fully for them, which will be the tenth. This one shot kind of wriggles itself through different topics. The other ones will each have an actual topic or thread or whatever again.  
> Yeah, I now outlined this story much better, at least until the birth. What you can expect: Seven more one shots after this with the eighth being the birth (the thirteenth in total). Probably, only one of those will really jump ahead in time to Benji already being born. The others will most likely take place fully during Jade’s pregnancy. After Benji’s birth, everything is still a little fuzzy. It will probably be about... seven chapters or something.  
> Yeah, that’s it. Oh, Jade starts showing pretty early, which is unlikely as it’s her first pregnancy, but every pregnancy does work differently, so I thought I could go with it. But yes, I do realize it’s pretty early.  
> Now, please enjoy this chapter!

She is fourteen weeks pregnant, she looks much better, not as sick anymore, possibly because the stress has lessen a little with their parents knowing and supporting. But she has told him that she has read up and the sickness usually is over by now.  
He also starts seeing the pregnancy. Luckily, she doesn’t only wear tight clothes but also wider ones, so nobody wonders now that she only wears those.  
Jade’s mother says that with luck, she can still get by a few weeks without anyone having to know. Even in dance class, nobody notices. Beck guesses, he also only sees because he knows. And with wide clothes still covering it for a while....  
They know they should tell their friends though. Beck knows at some point, the rumors will start, and he just wants their friends to know first. He knows Jade is nervous. He’s too, but he knows they won’t judge. It will be weird of course to tell them. There are already so many people involved, now even more? But everyone will know soon enough, so...  
They all want to meet up at Andre’s house after school on Friday, over five weeks after Beck and Jade have found out. It still feels surreal. They have decided to tell them there and then, as Andre’s parents are out anyway and it’s just the five of them (six if you count Rex... seven if you count the baby).  
Jade and Beck sit next to each other on the couch, close like always, Jade half upon Beck and him with his arm around her. Andre has just told them all about his new song and now he and Robbie catch new drinks for all of them. Jade and Beck share a glance and Jade shrugs slightly.  
That means that it’s time.  
When Robbie and Andre are back, before anyone else can say anything more, Beck speaks up: “Jade and I have something to tell you.”  
Cat, Robbie, Andre and Rex (who got quickly picked up by Robbie again) look at him attentively. He himself looks over to Jade. He guesses she should have this.  
She doesn’t look at anyone, but as her hands in her lap, as she directly comes out and says it: “I’m pregnant.”  
Beck sees how Andre is about to smile for a moment, as if he thinks it’s a joke and also wants to comment like it is. But he seems to realize at the same second that Jade and Beck are looking too serious for that and that they never made a joke like that before. Robbie looks shocked and Cat tilts her head as she watches Jade.  
Beck says: “We know it for over a month now and decided to keep it.”  
He can’t have anyone ask for an abortion at this point. He doesn’t know that he soon must also hear Jade’s grandparents ask about it. They are definitely over that idea though. He also doesn’t like the thought of their friends questioning the thought of keeping the baby altogether, raising it themselves, but he guesses it could happen. It’s reasonable to ask if they are sure they want to do this.  
But instead, Cat beams: “Congrats!”  
Oh, Cat. She probably doesn’t totally get what this means. Jade finally looks up again, showing surprise.  
Robbie meanwhile says: “Well, that explains why both of you have been so... off since this school year started.”  
Beck has thought they behaved pretty well and like usual. Apparently, they didn’t. Well, they were much more in thought, exchanged more meaningful glances, sometimes hurried away from lunch with stupid excuses when Jade suddenly felt sick (which luckily hasn’t happened often at all).  
Andre slightly shakes his head: “To think I was worried about how my new song will turn out a minute ago... Damn.”  
Andre definitely gets what all of this means, that this means a lot of worry. Robbie probably knows as well.  
Rex meanwhile suddenly comments: “So, you do have sex. Told you so.”  
He said that last part to Robbie who looks at him shocked: “Rex!”  
It somehow makes Beck smile, especially as Jade rolls her eyes: “No, the child will be the next Messiah.”  
Her hands have found her own belly again, so instinctively. He likes to see it every time, watching these natural, motherly actions of Jade.  
Cat might have taken Jade’s comment the wrong way or otherwise just wonders, at least she asks happily: “Will it be born on Christmas?”  
Andre looks amused: “That would be awfully quick.”  
Obviously, Jade doesn’t look like she’s due in three months already, especially also as they already said they only know for a month themselves now. Beck says: “It’s due in the middle of March.”  
“Oh,” Robbie says. “Will you still be able to finish the school year?”  
That’s directed at Jade and Beck is glad that he wonders, that his mind immediately goes there, that he... worries. He knows Jade hasn’t expected that. More judging, no worry at all. She doesn’t answer softly but with a rough sound in her voice: “I hope so.”  
Cat smiles: “We’ll help you every way we can. I’m a good babysitter, I swear. Once, my brother...”  
Jade interrupts her: “Cat. I don’t need to hear that now.” None of them are ever very ready to hear those stories of Cat’s brother. Jade is the only one ever saying so directly (though she also does listen at other times).  
Cat now also doesn’t seem offended; still smiling, she says: “Kay, kay.”  
“So, how many weeks are you?” Andre asks.  
“Fourteen now,” Jade answers.  
And Beck is overwhelmed by their sympathetic reactions. He has counted on them supporting them, but Cat directly earnestly offering them to babysit their child, Robbie concerned about Jade finishing at least this school year and Andre interested in how far along Jade is...  
There are moments where he feels giddy by now. He knows it will be tough and it’s by far not the right time to have a child, but... sometimes, he does get giddy, thinking about having a child, positively giddy, gets excited and happy. He will be a father.  
And he feels like one of those weirdly proud parents as he pulls out his wallet and gets the copy of the sonogram out of there, as he says: “We actually have a picture.”  
It’s still from the very first ultrasound. They only will make another one in about two more months. Beck can hardly wait.  
He hands the picture over to Andre and Cat, Robbie and Rex immediately lean in to look at it.  
“Whoa,” Andre says. “That’s a baby.”  
And instead of making a sarcastic comment, claiming it’s something else and Andre’s reaction is stupid, Jade says: “It’s already much bigger. That was the first sonogram from a month ago.”  
They might both have looked online how their baby should look by now just a few days ago, when Beck has told Jade that the pregnancy really gets slowly visible and that their baby must grow fast.  
He now also adds, for their friends’ information: “She’s actually already showing. She’s good at covering it up though. But soon, the whole school will probably know and we definitely wanted you to know first.”  
“Your parents know?” Robbie checks as Andre hands the picture back.  
“Yeah,” Beck answers. “We told them pretty early on. They say they’ll support us but it’ll still be tough.”  
“I can imagine,” Andre says. “A little baby. Wow. And in half a year already?”  
Cat happily claps her hands: “I’m already so excited for it. It will be the cutest baby ever.”  
Beck is also pretty sure it will be. It will be Jade’s child after all.  
“You can’t tell anyone though,” Jade now says, meaning all of their friends, but especially looking at Cat. Well, she would be the one to easily blab about it. “Not yet.”  
Their friends all agree.

 

The rumors in school start over a week later. Jade is sure, one of their friends must have let something slip, though they promise they haven’t and they also behave like usual around Jade, so it’s not like anyone could’ve seen there. Jade is pretty sure, Cat just blabbed, though usually she tells if she has done something wrong. Especially when Jade looks at her in that certain way. And this time, she promises again and again in a whisper, while they are all out to eat together, that she hasn’t said one word about it to anyone, looking her directly in the eye. Cat can’t lie, so... it must have been Andre or Robbie after all.  
She only later thinks about the fact that she subconciously puts her hands on her belly since she knows about the pregnancy all the time. Someone could have noticed, could have joked about it with friends and someone might have overheard and then noticed that her boobs definitely have grown bigger and her belly as well, though the boob-thing is more visible as of know.  
Beck and she talk about their possibilities, if they should outright say it or wait until it’s obvious enough, so everyone will know by looking at Jade. Jade decides that they will just wait and see what happens. Everyone will soon know either way.  
She is fifteen weeks, sixteen the day after, when she and Beck have made out right after the bell for lunch break, and only go outside to the Asphalt Café several minutes into break. She feels good, like always when she made out with Beck, but the feeling is gone, when she doesn’t only see Andre, Robbie and Cat at their table, but also four of their classmates, them all standing, looking as if they have just walked over. She narrows her eyes.  
It’s not like none of them never talk to someone else, but she has a bad feeling about this. She’s somehow suspicious. Rightfully so.  
When they are close enough, she hears Janine, one of the girls, say: “Come on. Tell us. Does she just... become fat or is she actually pregnant?”  
Jade feels the grip of Beck’s arm around her tighten. He must have also heard and possibly doesn’t like what he’s hearing.  
“It wouldn’t be any of your business either way,” Jade can hear Andre answer and Colin, one of the guys, retaliate: “Which makes it sound like she is indeed pregnant and you know about it.”  
Jade barely notices Robbie and Rex exchanging a bad-tempered glance or Cat biting her lip, not nervously, but as if to hold herself to burst out the truth and a few bad words all the same, or Andre looking quickly between their classmates, obviously thinking how to tell them that it’s not their business again without proving the rumor.  
She and Beck have approached the table by now and Jade harshly pulls the attention to herself: “Why don’t you ask me directly if you’re so interested in my body?”  
All four of them startle and Janine even takes a small step back: “We’re sorry. It’s just...”  
“What?” Jade prompts when she doesn’t continue and... it’s enough for her. They will soon know anyway and why deny anything anymore. “I’ve become fat. And guess what? Yes, it is because I’m pregnant.”  
Their eyes widen. They may have amused themselves with those rumors, but to hear they are actually true?  
And out of the corner of her eye, Jade has seen others close-by turn as well, probably not sure if they have misheard.  
“I’m pregnant, it’s true,” Jade repeats, then turning for more of the Asphalt Café to hear her, pushing Beck’s arm off of her shoulders, as she loudly says: “Hear everybody? I’m pregnant. And Beck is the father. Now piss off.”  
She says the last part to the four classmates at their table again and they quickly do hurry away.  
She drops down at the table and huffs, not looking at anyone anymore, just down to her own food, she now puts on the table.  
Beck sits down next to her and rubs her back, while their friends look at her with big eyes. Finally, Rex says dryly: “That has been one way to tell.”  
But a dumb one. Jade is sure, their friends think that. And Beck possibly too. She hasn’t asked him just now if it’s okay to tell right here. And she hasn’t just said that she’s pregnant but that Beck is the father, too.  
“They are annoying,” she murmurs as if that makes it right, starting to pick at her food.  
“I also wonder...” Andre now says. “Like... I wouldn’t come up and ask their friends if I believed someone pregnant. If they wouldn’t tell me, it obviously wouldn’t be any of my business.”  
Jade couldn’t agree more. She wouldn’t even care if someone else would be pregnant. Gosh. It wouldn’t be her life.  
“Are you okay?” Cat asks tentatively.  
Jade looks up and to her. Cat is actually asking her that and seems worried.  
Jade may feel tears coming up but pushes them back. That gets annoying like hell. Tears are coming up more and more.  
She quickly turns around to Beck and quietly asks, though she knows, their friends can hear her as well: “Was it okay for you?”  
It wasn’t her decision alone to make, if they should tell right here, right then.  
But Beck smiles, his hand still on her back, not rubbing anymore but... there. “Of course. I love you.”  
They kiss and Jade tries to ignore that everyone is watching. Not just their friends, but everyone in the Asphalt Café. Every one of their classmates, who now know.

 

While it has been a rumor within their year before, a rumor that most of them probably haven’t taken too seriously and have amused themselves with, now the whole school knows and talks about it. It was inevitable, so Beck really doesn’t hold it against Jade that she just told like that. Quite the opposite. He’s almost glad that it is finally out there, because he doesn’t have to wonder anymore how and when to tell.  
It’s still weird. The teachers all change in their behaviour. He even has one of them pulling him aside and telling him they wouldn’t mind if he turned in some of the projects later, because he must be under a lot of stress. It’s weird, because, yes, he feels under pressure, but there isn’t even a child yet. He has time enough for his school work.  
The teachers especially start behaving differently around Jade though, some get way nice, which annoys Jade like hell, because she considers it fake. Others are just different. When Beck mentions it to Jade, she rolls her eyes and claims they are obviously judging her.  
Their classmates are worse. There are actually really people there that judge them. Or rather Jade. Beck also gets judged a little, but not so much. Instead, there even is a senior who congratulates him for having gotten Jade laid, which is disgusting and makes Beck want to punch someone for the very first time in his life.  
Jade is meanwhile pretty much followed by a whisper for some time. She lashes out all the time, when she hears them talk, wondering if she is for real, if she actually will be a mother, if she will be able to do it, how she can even think of having a child and if she has planned it, to get attention or to bind Beck to her. Which is crazy.  
But behind her anger are other things. Beck sees it every now and then. How tears get into Jade’s eyes sometimes. Especially when she hears people question if she can be a good mother. He then always pulls her with him, as insuspiciously as he can, into an empty classroom or alike, or just suddenly gets into a corner with her, leans against the wall himself with his back and draws her into a kiss or hug, as if they would make out, instead she can have her tears run without anyone seeing. He knows she is embarrassed by it (now suddenly crying so often, while he has only seen her cry twice before, the last time not even a week before telling the whole school, about his parents wanting custody). But he sure doesn’t tell her it’s fine for her to cry, because he knows that would somehow make her more angry, because he doesn’t have any say about her feelings, isn’t even to judge positively about her tears. So, he doesn’t say anything each time, just holds her, makes sure, nobody else can see. Because everyone talks enough and he knows she doesn’t need them talking about her feelings as well.

 

Sikowitz is different than the other teachers in the sense that he doesn’t change his behaviour around them at all. He still talks to Jade like usual, which she likes. She has always liked Sikowitz, likes how he takes anything she says, how he doesn’t punish her, but in one way or another snaps back. She likes how he allows all of them to unfold in his class, how he goes and talks about acting.  
It’s a month after everybody knows, the end of October, she’s twenty weeks by now and there’s no shirt anymore, with which she can really hide her pregnancy, even if she wanted to.  
Sikowitz suddenly calls her and Beck back one time after class.  
He has never done that and Jade can’t even imagine what Sikowitz wants from the both of them. As they walk back up to him, Beck lies his arm around her shoulders like he does.  
“Why isn’t your name on this list?” Sikowitz asks, directed at Jade, holding up a sheet.  
Jade glances at it and instantly knows what that is about. It’s the audition list for the big Christmas play at Hollywood Arts they will do in the middle of December. It may not one of the most interesting plays, but it’s one of the big ones, where some important people of the business also like to show up. One of those plays, for which everyone at Hollywood Arts who aspires to be an actor, naturally auditions.  
“You haven’t put your name down?” Beck asks confused.  
They have been at the list together, but Jade has just pretended to write her name on it.  
Annoyed, that Sikwoitz asks her and now also got Beck’s attention to it, she claims: “I don’t want to be in the play.”  
“Why not?” Beck asks before Sikowitz can.  
“Because it’s lame,” she says and Sikowitz instantly grabs his chest: “Jade. My poor heart. How can you say that?”  
Of course, he has to act overdramatic, after he has picked the play.  
She rolls her eyes and spits out the truth: “If you need to know, I won’t audition because I will grow even bigger by then.”  
“So?” Sikowitz asks like it’s no big deal.  
“So? There’s no pregnant role,” Jade says pointedly. And noone wants to see a pregnant girl up that stage, she’s sure.  
Sikowitz easily answers: “And Tinkerbell is a girl and I still played her once. Or twice.”  
Jade blinks. Wait, what? Sikowitz played Tinkerbell? Twice? Okay, now, she can imagine it. Very well, to be honest.  
Sikowitz continues, when she doesn’t say anything: “If you are a good actress you can act like you aren’t pregnant.”  
Yeah, right. It’s not about acting. It’s something that people can see. Though... If Sikowitz says it’s okay to still audition, which he apparently is... She does want to be in the big plays. She just thinks noone would want her there, so why even audition? She doesn’t want to be laughed at when she auditions.  
She shifts her eyes away, as her hands find her belly again.  
And suddenly, Sikowitz decides: “I’ll put your name down.” And without a pause: “What made me ask both of you to stay back... Would you like to earn money?”  
That’s a weird question. She and Beck have talked about money, about how they would need their parents to support them, how Jade doesn’t like it at all. She even has considered taking a job, to be honest, which Beck may or may not know about. But Beck also would naturally like them to be slightly independent, to not put everything onto their parents.  
So, after they share a glance now, he slowly says: “Of course.”  
Sikowitz nods and explains: “I’m always looking out for roles, my students can audition for. If you want to, I can keep an extra eye out for you two.” He weirdly mimes an eye on his forehead, which irritates Jade slightly. “I just want to make sure that’s in your best interest, so I don’t work my butt off for something you don’t want:”  
“No,” Beck quickly says. “We would love to get real roles.” They both do want to get into acting, the sooner the better of course. Especially now with a child on the way, they should be able to support some day.  
“Good,” Sikowitz says, grabs his bag, pushes the audition sheet into it and pulls out another paper instead, handing it to Beck: “I already have found one you could audition for.”  
Beck lets go of Jade to take it, smiling. “Awesome! Thanks!”  
Jade watches him and knows he’s truly happy. She would be too. Or she wouldn’t be. She does want to do school plays and everything, but...  
“I don’t want to do a pregnant role,” she says, turning back to Sikowitz. He tilts his head and she continues: “I don’t want to be on camera pregnant at all.”  
“Why?” Sikowitz asks.  
She shrugs: “I just don’t feel like it.”  
Of course, they often have cameras running at school plays as well, but it makes a difference, if it’s just within their school, or if it gets aired in the whole country or even the world, which would happen, if she even would be an extra in the back of some show.  
She’s sure to discourage Sikowitz with that, but instead, he asks: “But after the baby is born?”  
“Definitely,” she agrees, because she is so ready for that.  
“Okay,” Sikowitz nods again. “I will still look out and tell you about especially good roles I find during your pregnancy, if you decide differently.”  
And with that, they are free to go.  
Outside, Beck steers her into the next free classroom. Gosh. Before summer break, they have only gone to places like that to make out, never to talk or for her to cry. They might have already met in empty classrooms or the janitor’s closet to make out back when they were only dating. Well...  
She expects Beck to happily talk about this opportunity now. Everybody in school knows that Sikowitz’ tips for roles are somehow golden. He does know people in the business and does know what those people are looking for.  
Instead, he asks: “Why didn’t you tell me?”  
She needs a second, but... of course, he’s talking about her not having put down her name for the school play.  
“Like you would’ve understood,” she says because he wouldn’t have. He isn’t the one pregnant and never will be.  
For a moment there, Beck looks ready to fight, to yell at her that he obviously can’t understand if she won’t explain, but instead he takes a deep breath and then calmly says: “Yes, I don’t understand. So... Why?”  
“Why haven’t I put down my name?” Jade snaps, not calm at all. “Because I didn’t feel like them telling me they don’t want a pregnant girl in their stupid school production.” But if she’s at it, she will also explain the other thing, she’s sure Beck also can’t understand: “And why am I not willing to be on the TV like this? Because I don’t need even more people to see me like this or talk about me. I don’t like looking this way, Beck.”  
It doesn’t suit her, being pregnant. Not to mention that she obviously looks like a fifteen year old, soon to be sixteen, but she has a baby belly. All of it just doesn’t fit and she hates it. Not that she has loved her body very much before... but now, she looks in the mirror, and just gets weirded out at the sight that greets her.  
Beck looks at her confused. “You’re beautiful.”  
That’s what he always says. Whenever she even thinks about complaining about her body, even before the pregnancy... he says it and sounds so damn honest, and she still can’t really believe him. Not that she thinks she’s ugly, far from it, but she also isn’t as beautiful as Beck makes it sound just by saying the word. Especially now.  
“Of course, you say that,” she says, a little exhausted, and actually leans against him, tired out by something. She’s full of emotions, tired and hungry at pretty much all times.  
“Because it’s true,” Beck says and kisses her forehead, before he hugs her tight.  
For a while, it’s just that, then Beck gently says: “I’m sorry, Jade.”  
Jade knows he’s sorry to see her like this, to see her feel this way, for all the trouble she has with the pregnancy, that he doesn’t. She pushes herself slightly out of his arms, as she shrugs: “It’s not your fault.”  
Beck lets one of his hands wander to her belly with a smile. “It kind of is.”  
Jade has to smirk. “Okay, it totally is.” She wouldn’t be pregnant without him.  
They kiss, but there is something else going through Jade’s mind. How Beck felt like apologizing, how she knows he feels bad anyway for her having to go through more than he has. She kind of has to say it, has to make sure: “You still take every role you can. Don’t dare giving any up, just because you think if I don’t wanna do anything because of this, you also won’t.”  
In his eyes, she sees that he actually would’ve considered that. But he won’t now, she hopes, and to ease the tension again that’s suddenly there, to ease the earnesty, the seriousness, which the situation has lost through Beck saying it kind of is his fault and rewon through her, she adds: “Just... if we both get a role after the baby is born and one of us has to stay with it, know that I’m going to keep the role and you have to stay with the baby.”  
That does make him smile again. “Deal.”  
She smiles as well, wraps her arms around his neck.  
“Say you love me.”  
“I love you.”

 

It doesn’t sit right with Beck though that Jade doesn’t like the way she looks. She has always looked extremely beautiful – the pregnancy hasn’t changed that in the slightest. Does it also look a little weird, the pregnant teen? Yes. But she’s still beautiful. He likes to see her that way.  
He’s sure she just doesn’t look at herself in the right way. But he can help her with that.  
He realizes he hasn’t taken photos at all of her (or of the two of them), since they know about the pregnancy. He has always been a little into photography. His parents say he has always loved running around with a camera – his photos have never been really good. But he has started getting into it some more since his start at Hollywood Arts and he loves it even more since then.  
He also has taken a lot of photos of Jade already, since they are a couple. But recently... He doesn’t even know why he hasn’t snapped pictures of her lately, not even with his phone.  
He’s fiddling with his camera now. She’s sitting at his desk, his laptop in front of her, typing away.  
She has had a new script idea and is now right at it to write it out. That’s the easiest if not only moment to take photos of her without her noticing (he’ll find out that he can also sometimes snap photos of her secretely, when she’s all involved in their son). He wants to take a photo in secret now.  
She’s obviously great at posing. But apparently, she doesn’t deem herself beautiful at this very moment, which means she won’t pose like she is. Maybe, she will even try to hide the baby belly or something. He doesn’t want that right now. She might not like it if he takes her photo without her knowing but it’s not like he wants to show it around afterwards or something. It’s supposed to be something just for her.  
It of course is a little creepy to just take picture of someone without them knowing. But he is her boyfriend. He thinks it’s okay.  
He’s careful now, as he stands up from the couch, where he has been sitting. With the music, they listen to, all turned up and her writing, she shouldn’t hear him, as he approaches her and tries to find just the right spot next to her.  
The light in his RV of course isn’t the best but he can’t do anything about that right now. But it hits her the best way, when he’s on his knees, several feet from her, mainly to her side, a little behind her. He takes a few photos like that, then gets closer to the wall to have Jade a little from the front. Her baby belly is still in view, as he also takes pictures like that.  
He stands back up and takes a look himself, at what he just shot. Well, they are a start. And then, there is that one picture, that shows her with a light smile, which tells him that she has thought of a perfect sentence for one of her characters to say. He’s already excited to read this script, as she already looks so satisfied writing it.  
And she looks beautiful doing so. Wrapped up in her own writing. With her baby belly just as much as she would without. Maybe, that is what she doesn’t realize. That she’s still the same girl. She still looks the same all in all. Of course, there is change, but he can easily also find beauty in that.  
But she’s still this artistic girl. She has still the same smile. The same look in her eyes.  
He smiles himself and sits back down on the couch. He’s satisfied with that result, but he won’t just interrupt her to show it to her. She’s obviously in a run and if he interrupts her now, she will be more than angry at him. He would understand.  
So, he sits back down, listens to the music, enjoys the calm moment. Only after a while, Jade leans back in the chair, both hands off the laptop and stretching her arms for a moment.  
He watches her, as she rereads a line she has written and then sighs silently. Okay, he knows what that means. They do know how the other one works.  
He stands up and approaches her. “Are you stuck?”  
“I guess,” she says, almost grumpily. “It was such a good run.”  
It was. She barely ever stopped to think. Now stretching and that look... he has recognized that immediately as her not knowing how to continue.  
“Can I show you something?” he asks, as he comes to a halt next to her.  
“Mhm,” she just makes, her eyes still on the laptop, going over her own words.  
“Don’t hit me too hard,” he says. He’s sure she will hit him for just taking her photo. At least a playful punch.  
That makes her finally turn to him, raising her eyebrows. He shows her the camera, shows her his favorite photo from the ones, he just made. That with that small smile, before she already was in the next line and back into the characters’ feelings. (That probably have no reason to really smile – her plays are usually all pretty dark.)  
He quickly explains, while showing her: “I can imagine that you look always critically into the mirror – so that’s also what you see. But this is how you truly look. See how you’re beautiful without even trying? This is the way I see you at any moment, any time.”  
He watches her expression. Watches her eyes going over the photo, especially over her pregnant belly.  
Then, she finally looks at him. “I told you to not take photos of me, when I don’t know about it.”  
But she doesn’t say it too harshly. She certainly doesn’t hit him. Instead, she looks back onto the camera, takes the picture in again, before she asks: “How can you have a knack for taking picture in every day situations and make them seem so special and wonderful?”  
Okay, she likes it. She likes it very much. She does see how beautiful she is there.  
He smiles at the question. She has asked him before, why he is so into taking photos of “normal” things, every day situations, your usual landscapes. And how he is able to just “get them”. He doesn’t really know what that even means. He does realizes that his photos sort of capture the specialness of every day better than some other people’s.  
He doesn’t have an answer either way and she knows that. She looks back up to him, before she draws him into a tender kiss.


	6. Her father and their grandparents

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, lovely people out there!  
> In this chapter, I talk some more about college education and noticed that I should mention that I don’t think at all that college education is everything. But I do think many characters in this story deem it as extremely important. But I personally don’t think anyone is worth less or whatever nonsense without a college degree. Just wanted to put that out there, because I’m afraid you could get that impression, as much as I make everyone here insist on college.  
> Okay. Yeah, please don’t expect every chapter to come as quickly as this. I have some time at the moment and also had the part with Jade’s father already written; wrote it right after I knew I would do this story. I won’t be able to upload every chapter this quickly – especially as I may write on something else next to this.  
> Now, have fun reading this!

She only sees her father again three weeks after they have told their parents they would keep the child, the day after they have told their friends. She visits him more regularly usually and hasn’t now since before they have told their parents of the pregnancy at all. So, she hasn’t been over for over a month, which only has happened two times before after big fights between her father and her.  
But she hasn’t felt ready to face him before. Now, with fourteen weeks pregnant and everbody important in her life knowing, she guesses, she has to finally go back. Her father has tried to call her twice, so it’s not like he suddenly pretends, he doesn’t have a daughter anymore. He also has called her mother when Jade has denied the calls. Her mother doesn’t tell her what they have talked about, but she tells Jade to take responsibility and to finally go visit her father.  
Jade tries to behave better around her mother, knows how extremly dependent she suddenly is on her again – and how much she needs her and can’t have her leave her after all now. She also wants to show her mother how much she appreciates her support, her love, her everything. She still can’t help herself this time and tells her to piss off and that it’s her own business how to handle her father, after her mother has barely been involved in her contact with her father for some years now, her often even taking the bus to her father and otherwise at least planning herself when to meet him again.  
Her mother promptly retorts that she should handle her father then, that she should talk to him, so he wouldn’t have to call her again.  
Her mother is right of course, so she finally goes back to her father. (She might also miss him a little, because he is her father, but she would deny that if anyone would ever ask her.)  
Her stepmother Stephanie is also home. She hasn’t seen her since before the pregnancy. She may have known herself of the pregnancy already when she has last been over, but Stephanie hasn’t been home then.  
She doesn’t expect her to say much about it. She always feels the need to talk to Jade, to ask her about school, about her hobbies and everything, but she is never involved in any serious talk. When Jade’s father gets into putting her down, she sometimes gently says something to soften him slightly, but other than that, she doesn’t say anything. Which is good because if Jade and her father fight, it’s none of her business. Jade may not like Stephanie much, but at least she’s doing that part right.  
Stephanie is just cleaning the kitchen as Jade walks inside the apartment. Her father has let her in and doesn’t utter a greeting. Stephanie smiles and does look like she wants to say hi, but Jade’s father speaks first, directly getting to the point like he should in Jade’s opinion; if they have to talk about this: “Are you still planning to keep this child?”  
She slowly turns to her father, who has followed her a few steps into the apartment. “Yes, I am.”  
“I can’t believe it,” her father says, looking at her judging in that way like she has expected everybody to look at her. “You think you can be a mother?”  
Somehow, he has a knack for saying those things that hurt her most. He always does that as well when he talks about acting, about her dreams, about everything she likes.  
No, she doesn’t really think she can be a mother. At times, she thinks she can be and, well, she will be, but will she be a good one?  
She slowly puts her hands on her belly, her eyes shifting away from him.  
Her father continues: “You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into. Being a parent isn’t easy.”  
Well, he might have a knack to say all the wrong things accidently, she has a knack to say all those things on purpose, to shoot them right back at him. “Like you would know,” she says sharply, looking back at him.  
She sees how his face hardens, how she has hurt him. Good.  
But he never lashes out at her. Instead, he calms himself down, takes a deeps breath and then says clearly: “This isn’t some game, Jade. This isn’t some test for you to show how hard headed you really are. Just be reasonable. You say you do still want to go to college, right?”  
She knows this isn’t a game. She hasn’t made that decision to spite him. And she does want to go to college. He can’t question her on this. He can’t think of her as some idiot.  
“Fuck off,” she spits out.  
“Don’t disrespect me,” he immediately says, taking a step closer, almost in a threatening sense, but she has never felt threatened by him and certainly also doesn’t now.  
“Then stop talking about this,” she instead says.  
Her father of course doesn’t stop: “You are fifteen, Jade, and I am your father. Wether you like it or not. I have something to say about this as well.”  
Jade isn’t sure if the part of liking it or not refers to him being her father or him having to say something about this. Either way, that last part...  
“You actually don’t,” she calmly states. “And if you keep talking like this, I won’t come back any time soon, if ever.”  
That’s always her last threat. Somehow, it actually works. It may not make her father respect her or accept her the way she is, but it makes him shut up about it, which is something. It’s enough to tell her once if he doesn’t like a certain thing; he doesn’t need to keep getting into it.  
Her father glares at her and finally says: “You will stay here.”  
And with that, he leaves, obviously to cool down, to rethink his approach about this. Because he doesn’t want her to angrily walk out and make that threat true.  
She huffs, as he pulls the door close behind him. Well... She feels like leaving, but whatever. She will stay for now.  
She shortly glances to Stephanie, who has watched the talk worriedly, then she goes over to the couch, drops down there, and turns on the TV, like she does when she comes over.  
Stephanie sits down next to her and, gosh, she’s an annoying woman. Jade feels her looking at her, trying to think about how to talk to Jade. She actually does want to talk about it, as if it’s her business.  
But... Well. “What?” Jade finally snaps, looking from the TV, where she still tries to find a good program, to Stephanie.  
Stephanie never is offended when Jade snaps at her. At least, she never shows, and always fakes happiness. Though she doesn’t really fake happiness at the moment, she looks quite serious.  
Now, she gently says: “You know he just worries?”  
“What do you know?” Jade dryly replies. As if Stephanie has ever understood anything going on between Jade and her father.  
Stephanie tilts her head slightly. “I know he loves you. And he will also love your child. He really wants you to get a good education though, to have a good future.”  
Well, she has many doubts about him loving her child one day. He might love her, she does want to believe that. There is a reason after all, why the threat of her not coming over anymore works. Even now, with her being pregnant with fifteen.  
There is one thing that especially irks her again though. “I will go to college.” She will prove it to everyone. She will do good in school, despite the baby, and will get an amazing college degree. Why can’t her father just help her do all of that, instead of doubting her every move like always before?  
“That’s all he wants,” Stephanie says with a gentle smile, stands back up. “But now relax. You’re pregnant. I have never been, but I’m sure you should relax.”  
And why not? She lies down on the couch, does feel exhausted by dealing with her father like this again. Stephanie gives her a blanket and then even makes her hot cocoa.  
When her father comes back, he sits down at Jade’s feet on the couch. For a moment, they just look at each other and Jade wonders if he will keep talking about it or if he will let it go, though that wouldn’t be like him.  
Finally, he says: “I don’t like this.”  
Who does?  
“You don’t have to,” she says. “It’s still happening.”  
It’s silent for another moment, then her father clearly states: “You can’t shut me off for such a long time again either way. Especially now.”  
Has he worried? He was the one judging her and then has been worried about her cutting him off? Seriously?  
And... especially now? Because he knows that a pregnancy also means risks? Because he’s worried despite this being her own fault?  
“Fine,” she says with a shrug and her father nods, stands back up and turns to Stephanie: “I’m gonna make me a coffee. Do you also want one?”

 

Her father adjusts. He shows over time that he doesn’t like it, that he’s sceptical about Jade being able to do this, but he adjusts and accepts it. Unlike her and Beck’s grandparents.  
It’s that very same Saturday, Jade still being fourteen weeks pregnant, that she goes over to Beck and sleeps over in his RV. Beck has invited her, has wanted to see her right after she has been with her father. She tells him that everything is alright, when he looks at her in that way. He doesn’t seem to believe her. Well, he doesn’t like her father at all and never thinks Jade can be okay with him in any way.  
On Sunday morning, they eat breakfast with Beck’s parents, because his mother has demanded for them to eat dinner and breakfast with them every time, Jade sleeps over. They will keep doing that mostly until the baby is born and they sometimes are too exhausted to get out of bed after a tough night. His parents will understand that and will never demand it of them again.  
His mother says to them this time: “Anyway... My parents wants us to visit soon. Which made me wonder when you plan to tell the rest of the family.”  
She doesn’t need to say, what they are supposed to tell, though they haven’t even been close to the topic just now.  
Beck is surprised. He hasn’t even thought about telling the rest of the family yet. Though... Naturally, they have to sooner or later. “Well... I should at least tell my grandparents personally, shouldn’t I?” he asks unsurely. The rest of the family will then quickly get to know. But to just have his parents call his grandparents and tell them? That doesn’t seem right. He should tell them himself. That they will be great-grandparents. God. They will be great-grandparents.  
“We also think so,” his mother agrees.  
“Will we visit them soon?” Beck asks. If he wants to tell them personally, face to face, not just on the phone, they have to do it soon. At least if they don’t want them to be the absolute last to know. Especially if all their classmates get to know some time and possibly talk about it on social media and his cousins will see there...  
“We can,” his father answers. “How about we fly there in two weeks? Stay with them over the weekend.”  
“Sure,” Beck says. That sounds good. He turns to Jade: “Will you also come?”  
His whole family has met her by now, at the beginning of summer break, when she has been in Canada with him. But flights are expensive. Her mother has paid them that time, but now again? Maybe his parents will pay though, so Jade can be with him to share these important news?  
Jade returns his look unsurely though. His parents probably don’t see, but Jade doesn’t look as if she wants to come. Well, she knows his grandparents haven’t really liked her the first time they have met her. The prospect of spending a lot of money again to have them judge over her, disliking her even more...  
As Jade doesn’t answer, Beck’s mother raises her voice again, gently: “You don’t have to come. I’m sure our parents need some time anyway to process it.”  
With which her mother means that she doesn’t want Jade to come, because she thinks it will be an even bigger mess with her there. Beck would have told her to shut up, that it’s Jade’s decision, but as Jade doesn’t want to come either way and isn’t offended by his mother’s words, he lets it slide.

Jade is already thinking about her own grandparents. That will be bad enough. She doesn’t also need to be there when Beck tells his grandparents. She has the feeling she will be at fault with her own and with Beck’s anyway, and she can’t deal with all of them right now.  
When she’s home, she asks her mother: “Do your parents already know about my pregnancy?”  
Parents sometimes talk. And her mother doesn’t talk too much about her, also respecting her privacy, but you never know...  
“I haven’t told them yet,” her mother answers.  
“Should I?” Jade asks and her mother looks at her for a moment, before she nods: “I think that would be a good thing.” For a moment, they just look at each other. They both know, her mother’s parents won’t like this at all. They have never thought much about the way Jade dresses or behaves, but this... Finally, her mother says: “We’ll invite them here, so Jasper and I will be here, too.”  
Jade is glad that she won’t have to face them alone.

She also calls her father that day and asks him about his parents, but he also hasn’t told them yet, and she decides to visit them on Tuesday after school to tell them. Her mother invites her own parents over for dinner on Tuesday, so at least, Jade will get it all over with on the same day. And Beck has decided to come with her, though she won’t be with him when he tells his grandparents.  
“It won’t be like telling our friends,” she warns him, after they have done that just the prior Friday. It’s Monday and their friends behave just like usual around them, as if nothing drastic has changed, which is great. Her grandparents won’t react like that tomorrow, she knows.  
“I guess,” he answers though. “But I’d like to be with you.”

All four of her grandparents have met Beck and like him. Her father’s parents have only met him once when she has brought him over while her mother’s parents have met him about four times, when they have dropped by while Beck has also been over.  
“Ah, Jade,” her grandmother greets her at the door. She hasn’t told them she would come over, but both are home as she notices when she and Beck walk inside. “Great to see you. And you brought your boyfriend.”  
“Yeah,” she just answers.  
“Hello,” Beck says and waves slightly awkwardly to her grandfather, who’s sitting on the couch.  
Her grandfather nods in greeting, while her grandmother also walks back over to the couch as she says: “Hello. It’s so nice to see you’re still together.”  
Beck and Jade share a glance. Jade is sure they won’t be too happy she is together with anyone if they find out she’s pregnant. It wouldn’t have happened after all, if she hadn’t had a boyfriend. Well, or if she wouldn’t have had sex, which also is possible without a boyfriend.  
Either way... She guesses, she should just come out and say it: “I sorta brought him because I have to tell you something that also concerns him.”  
“What is it?” her grandfather asks interested.  
Jade takes a deep breath. She hates these moments, right before telling. “We’re expecting a child.”  
Her grandfather immediately jumps up from the couch, while her grandmother asks unbelieving: “You are what?”  
And her grandfather doesn’t usually look too much like her father. They are very different people. They both break promises, but other than that... Suddenly, he looks exactly like her father, just as cold, maybe colder, as he turns to Beck: “You impregnanted our granddaughter?”  
“It’s not his fault,” Jade says annoyed. It’s not like she’s proud that she also has made a mistake, but it’s just stupid to put all the blame on just one of them.  
Her grandfather isn’t impressed: “I knew something like this would happen some day, with the way you are.” She knows, nobody in her family except her mother and her brother respects her. But her grandfather actually assuming from the beginning she would be this stupid? She feels Beck tensing up next to her.  
Her grandfather continues, addressing Beck again: “But when she got together with you, I was relieved. I thought you wouldn’t be a guy like that. But sure enough, you had to knock her up.”  
“Shut up,” Jade darkly says.  
Of course, her grandmother has to cut in: “Don’t talk to him like that.”  
“Don’t talk to Beck like that,” she retaliates.  
She knows Beck doesn’t care too much if he’s talked to like that. She cares. He will be more angry about the part where her grandfather has talked bad about her. Like she isn’t used to it. Though... it honestly still hurts.  
“You are fifteen, Jade,” he grandfather says. “He...”  
But he doesn’t get any farther than that, because Jade interrupts: “Is also fifteen, yes. We made a mistake, both of us.”  
“Are you going to have an abortion?” her grandmother asks.  
“We are going to keep and raise it,” she answers, insistently.  
“How will you do that?” her grandmother questions and as Jade doesn’t know how they will do it, how they will ever manage to raise a child, even with everyone’s help...  
Her eyes shift away, as she says: “We will find a way.”  
Her grandfather is meanwhile interested in something else: “Does your father know about this?”  
“He does,” Jade answers, looking back to him. How is that relevant?  
Her grandfather shares a look with her grandmother. “And he didn’t think to tell us. Our own son. Of course not.”  
Because her grandparents also always love to blame her father (her mother more, but also her father), as if they weren’t the people who made him the way he is.  
She rolls her eyes. “Because it’s on me. God. I’ll give you time to calm down. Call me if you ever want to see me again.”  
She takes Beck’s hands in hers and drags him with her to leave. She feels that Beck is still tense, but is glad that he hasn’t said anything, that he hasn’t attacked her grandparents in any way, though they have deserved it for all the things they’ve said. But they are her grandparents and therefore, it’s on her to deal with them.  
Her grandmother calls after them, but not too pressing. They easily keep going, down the whole block, to the bus station.  
Nobody else is there and before Jade knows it, Beck has wrapped her in his arms, safely. She hugs him back, as she pushes back the tears that are suddenly forming in her eyes.

 

She knows, it won’t go any better with her mother’s parents. They respect her just as much as her father’s parents do, which is not at all.  
But at least, Beck, her mother and her brother will be there.  
They are really happy to see Beck as they adore him, and are halfway through dinner, when they also turn to him and ask him in earnest how school is going for him.  
Jade notices how Beck tenses again, because school is just weird at the moment with the pregnancy and everything. But he is a good actor, is still able to smile and answer easily, probably with only Jade noticing a difference.  
She looks to her mother, who returns the looks and nods slightly. She also thinks it’s probably time to tell, now that they talk about Beck anyway.  
So, Jade takes a deep breath again and suddenly cuts in: “I have to tell you something. I’m pregnant.”  
For a moment, it’s totally silent. Jasper seems surprised. He hasn’t known that this would be the day for Jade to tell their grandparents.  
“What?” her grandmother finally asks.  
“You are pregnant?” her grandfather asks.  
Obviously, she is, but her grandmother already checks anyway: “Is he the father?”  
She’s obviously not impressed. “He is,” Jade confirms, finding Beck’s hand under the table, having long put the silverware down like everyone at the table.  
“You had sex with our granddaughter?” her grandmother now turns to Beck. Okay, wow.  
“Jasper, if you could go upstairs?” her mother quickly says, but Jasper immediately answers: “No.”  
“Jasper,” her mother warningly says.  
Jade also would wish her brother would leave and sometimes, he does listen to her better than to their mother, but their grandfather already says: “He should stay and hear what his sister has gotten herself into again. Why do you always have to make trouble?”  
Her mother cuts in again: “She didn’t do this on purpose, Dad.”  
“But she did it,” Jade’s grandfather says, while her grandmother once again addresses Beck: “And who do you think you are? Smiling in our faces like that?” With which she must mean earlier, before the pregnancy came up. Beck surely isn’t smiling now. He’s tense again and now clearly states: “I didn’t mean to do it.”  
“Great,” her grandmother says. “Two teenagers who didn’t mean to have a child! And still, they will have one. As you’re telling us, we can assume, you’re planning to keep it?”  
“We are,” Jade confirms and her grandfather shakes his head: “God, Jade. Why do you always have to be such a difficult child?”  
Jade knows, she always has been difficult. She always has been different and never has been easy. Yet, her mother cuts in again: “She has never been a difficult child.”  
“You know she always was like that,” her grandmother agrees with her grandfather though. “Of course, she had to get herself pregnant. I guess we can be happy to know who the father is.”  
Something drops. Inside Jade.  
The grip of Beck’s hand around hers tightens, almost hurting her, and at the very same moment, her mother rises from her chair, looking so coldly at her parents like she never has before: “That’s enough. I want you to leave.”  
Time stands still for a moment, then her grandmother gently says: “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”  
She does seem sorry. But Jade knows that that doesn’t mean she’s not still thinking that way. She may be sorry about saying it, but she thinks Jade could’ve very well have slept around. Which proves how little she knows Jade.  
But her mother shouldn’t hate her own parents for something like that. They shouldn’t fight because of her. Her mother shouldn’t loose her parents over this.  
So, she slightly shakes her head, as if to say that it’s fine. She knows, Beck and her mother still don’t think it’s fine (which soothes her a great deal and pushes the tears that suddenly come up, further back), but her mother sits back down and takes a deep breath, while Beck keeps silent.  
Her grandfather now addresses Beck again: “Are you dropping out of school and go work?”  
“He will finish school,” Jade pointedly answers. She won’t have her grandparents make Beck feel like he should drop out of school.  
“Great,” her grandfather dryly comments. “Your mother already had a knack of having children with men, who were never ready to pay child support – or to take care of their children.”  
Jade knows that that offends Jasper. He loves his father. (He also doesn’t know that his father has cheated on their mother during the pregnancy in their shared bed – and if it’s for Jade and her mother to decide, he never will know because Thomas might have been a bad boyfriend but is a good father for him and he shouldn’t hate him for it some day.)  
Her mother also immediately defends both fathers of her children, if only for her children’s sake: “Firstable, both Christopher and Thomas take care of Jade and Jasper respectively, even if you don’t want to see that. And Beck is going to take care of his child as well. His parents will provide for it, just like I will.”  
“Fantastic,” Jade’s grandmother says, obviously not able to keep silent long enough, even after what she has just said about Jade. “Well, I don’t know how you picked your men,” – that’s directed at Jade’s mother – “but they say, girls fall in love with men like their own fathers.” She looks further to Beck, judgingly.  
Oh, no. It’s not like Jade’s grandfather is perfect. Far from it. So, Jade’s grandmother should understand why Jade’s mother is not good at choosing partners, if it’s true that a woman picks a man like her father. But even more... Jade’s grandparents always make digs at Thomas and Christopher, at Jasper’s and Jade’s fathers. Always make digs at her mother’s taste in men (which is bad, Jade has also told her mother that countless times, but it’s none of their business). Every time, they visit, they make a stupid comment about it. They hate especially Christopher (also not knowing about Thomas’ cheating, while they do know about Christopher’s coldness).  
And now, they claim, Jade has looked for a man just like her own father and has found that in Beck? Seriously?  
She feels Beck grip her hand tighter again, after it has just relaxed a little. She gets it. She may love her father, but Beck is a much better person than him.  
“Never compare Beck to my father again,” she says intently, glaring at both her grandparents.  
“Obviously, he’s gonna be the same way,” her grandmother claims, but what does she know? Especially after she has ovbiously still liked Beck a few minutes ago, before she has gotten to know about the pregnancy.  
Now, Beck finally speaks up; Jade hearing the surpressed anger in his voice: “I will take care of this child.”  
Jade’s grandfather seem to believe it as much as his wife: “We’ll see about that.”  
Jade’s mother sighs. “I think you should go now.” Her parents look offended, as if they haven’t just insulted Beck and if there isn’t any reason to throw them out. Jade’s mother continues: “I’m not throwing you out. I just think we should end this talk here and you should take some time.”  
They don’t seem happy about that, but agree in the end and do leave. Jade’s mother brings them to the door, while Jasper, Beck and Jade stay seated, not looking at each other.  
“I’m sorry about them,” Jade’s mother tells Beck, as she gets back. Jasper and Jade both know how their grandparents can be, while Beck had to witness them like this for the very first time.  
“It’s not your fault,” Beck says and Jade has to assure him: “You will never be like my father.”  
He lets go of her hand, takes her face instead in his hands, and assures her right back: “I never will be.”  
They share a kiss and only break apart, as Jade hears her brother grumpily say: “My dad does take care of me.” That has truly offended him, as if their grandparents have said that theirs fathers don’t love them or something alike.  
“He does, sweety,” their mother now tells him. “Your father is a very good one.” Even though he indeed barely pays anything. But he does take care of him. He will even step up a lot more in more than a year, when their mother starts to work in the afternoons for Benji and someone has to take Jasper at all times.  
Now, their mother looks at the table, sighs again, before she asks: “Is anyone still hungry or should I just start cleaning up?”

 

He hopes badly that it will go better with his grandparents. He is sure it will. He knows, Jade’s family is... somewhat broken all around. He has always wanted to believe that her grandparents from her mother’s side are good people as her mother also is a good person, but she has already told him a few times before that they are also awful people, quite judging. He has experienced that now.  
His grandparents will also be shocked, but hopefully... just won’t be like that.  
He is nervous though. And is glad that Jade won’t be there because she is pregnant and probably can’t have people judge her like that so much.  
She is sixteen weeks, they have just told the school during the prior week, when Beck travels to Canada with his parents.  
His grandparents know each other and often see each other, when Beck and his parents are there, so they aren’t guessing a thing when being asked if they could all eat together at his father’s parents’ house.  
He decides to keep it for himself until after the meal, to not have someone leave in the middle of it and everyone else not loosing their appitite over it like at Jade’s place with her grandparents.  
Then, he finally says: “I have something to confess.”  
“What is it?” his mams, his mother’s mother, asks.  
He glances to his parents, who look at him expectantly, then: “You remember my girlfriend Jade?” Surely, they do, so he doesn’t wait for an answer: “She’s pregnant.”  
Deafening silence, then his grandma, his father’s mother, asks: “By you?”  
“Yes,” he firmly says. He won’t have anyone question if Jade is pregnant by him and not by anyone else.  
His grandparents share glances, before his gramps, his mother’s father, slowly makes sure: “You’re going to be a father?”  
“I am,” he confirms. Okay, they haven’t exploded yet.  
“You can’t be serious, Beck,” his mams says.  
And only then, all of his grandparents look to his parents, checking if it’s true. His mother confirms: “He is.”  
“Oh, my god,” his grandma murmurs and only then, his grandpa also raises his voice: “How did it happen?”  
Well, how do those things happen?  
His gramps asks something else anyway: “When is it due?”  
He can answer that, easily: “We’re expecting it in March.”  
“You’re going to keep it?” his grandpa asks sceptical.  
“We are,” he just says. His father assures: “We talked about it a lot.” So, it hasn’t just been a quick decision by Beck.  
“I knew that girl meant trouble!” his mams finally bursts out. “I told you the day we saw her for the first time.”  
She directs that at her husband, who nods: “I agreed. God, Beck. Why weren’t you more careful?”  
Before he can answer, his grandma suggests: “Possibly, that girl just pretended to protect.”  
Okay, he can’t have this. “The condom broke, we both knew she wasn’t taking the pill and didn’t think much about it.”  
“She planned it,” his grandma claims and... who is this woman?  
“She didn’t,” he says between gritted teeth. He has fought with his parents many times because of Jade and how they talk about her. He doesn’t also want to start fighting with his grandparents. But if they talk like this?  
“You can’t be a father,” his gramps now says, actually gently. “You’re fifteen, Beck.”  
The truth is, though: “I will be a father.”  
“How will you ever manage?” his grandpa now says, also more worried.  
His mother has this: “We already talked to her parents and the school...” And she starts explaining about the different options and after that, his gramps actually mentions that an old friend of one of Beck’s cousin has also just got a child, with seventeen and somehow, they get to talk about other things, though Beck knows it’s still on everyone’s minds. But it’s okay. They will get over it.

 

They never really do. On Jade’s birthday, he sees her grandparents again; she meets his right before Christmas again.  
Both their grandparents have apparently decided that not their own grandchild is to blame but the other one of them. Which Beck is glad about considering Jade’s grandparents, because he doesn’t care if they like him, as long as they treat Jade well. He’s pissed with his own grandparents though. But they at least don’t mention it too often. While her grandparents also make digs at him at her birthday and Beck and they avoid each other after that (her only visiting them without Beck mostly, even when Benji is born and they spend even more time together), Jade can’t avoid his grandparents all that much. When they come to visit, it’s possible, but when Benji is born, Beck sure as hell doesn’t want to go to Canada without him for the first year at least, while he also doesn’t want to take Benji away from Jade more than a day. His parents agree there and even pay for every one of Jade’s trips when she tags along. But his grandparents at least behave, may not treat her like family, but also never say anything bad in her presence, so noone has to react, Beck doesn’t have to start a fight.  
She also doesn’t care too much about his grandparents. And she handles her own grandparents, because they at least treat Benji well, are somewhat good great-grandparents.


	7. Custody

Jade is fifteen weeks pregnant by now. It’s Friday. Their friends know for a week, her grandparents have been told on Tuesday, while he will fly to Canada with his parents next weekend to tell his own grandparents.  
Beck is somehow hungry, when he comes back from school today and that’s the only reason he walks into the house right when he comes home. He sees that both his parents’ cars are there, which must mean they are home. Well, they do sometimes have both short days on Friday and enjoy the time together. They still love each other after now being married for twenty years. Beck thinks that’s amazing.  
“It’s our best option,” he hears his mother’s voice, already from the small hallway, and then his father’s answer, as he walks into the living room, still not being able to look into the kitchen: “I don’t know. Fighting for custody...”  
Beck instantly comes to a halt. Fighting for custody? Custody of whom?  
“What else are we supposed to do? You do agree that we should have custody, right? You just said so,” his mother says and his father answers: “But we should talk to them first. Maybe, they are willing to give it to us on their own.”  
“You know, that girl never would,” his mother says in a harsh voice. ‘That girl’... the way she always calls Jade, since she has met her and has deemed her not good enough for Beck.  
Beck gets sick. They can’t be serious.  
His mother continues: “And that mother of hers seems reasonable enough, but... I think we should directly take it to our lawyer. Figure out if we can already get something done about it before the child is born. There could be important decisions to make right after its birth.”  
The sickness turns into anger. Who do his parents think they are? They seriously think about taking custody?  
He knows that they have accepted the thought of a grandchild by now. Not happily, but they have. They have talked to Beck a few times more about all the things they would need to buy, how they kept some of his old things from childhood, how they would show him how to change diapers and feed a child. They have even talked about a college fund for the child already, while Beck thinks that’s a little crazy as they can’t even see the child yet.  
But now they even want custody? They want to push him, but especially Jade out of this? Well, he’s sure his parents still would want him to take care of this child, but they definitely would push Jade out with this. The mother of the child.  
Without thinking any more, he finally bursts into the kitchen, where his parents are standing and talking. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he asks loudly, startling both of them. “You are thinking about taking custody away from me and Jade?” Him and Jade, who would naturally have custody. Possibly, only Jade would actually have custody by default, Beck isn’t sure. But he is sure that Jade would want joint custody with him as much as he would want that.  
“Not from you,” his mother dismisses, quickly over the shock of him having overheard, and how does that make anything better? Not to mention... If his parents have custody, he in fact doesn’t have.  
But even if it’s just Jade, they want to push out... “Everyone tries to make it work and you want to break it apart again!”  
Jade’s mother tries so hard as well, has also talked to him and Jade a few times about stuff they need to think about, only hints yet, because it’s still so early in Jade’s pregnancy and apparently, you never know what happens that early. And they’ve been to school together, have talked to Eikner and Lane, who have both assured them of their support. Even their friends are absolutely on their side and want to help them. (Her grandparents aren’t on their side and he doesn’t know yet about his grandparents, but... they also aren’t important, just like he doesn’t care much about her father.)  
“We don’t,” his father claims now. “Beck. We still want you and Jade to primarily take care of your child.”  
“Like she would after you made a court say she can’t raise a child,” he practically yells. They have to know that Jade will run if that happens. She will run and never come back, in one way or another. He won’t let that happen.  
“We just want...” his mothers starts and for a second he thinks she doesn’t even know what she wants, except pushing Jade out, then she claims: “If push comes to shove, we want to have the last word about this child. You and Jade both aren’t adults and are not able to make the tough decisions.”  
“Then, we will go to you for help,” Beck says because obviously they would. They can’t do this on their own and they know it themselves. But taking custody away from them? That’s a whole other story.  
His mother huffs. “Like Jade would ever do that. She would go to her own mother at best and look what kind of child she has raised.”  
“She has raised the love of my life,” Beck says, his voice now dangerously low. He won’t take this from his mother. He won’t let her insult Jade.  
“That’s ridiculous,” his mother says.  
And... Well... It’s not like his parents do have that much say about all of this, about the child growing inside of Jade. He hasn’t looked up anyone’s rights, because he hasn’t thought it’d be necessary, but he knows he would always fight for Jade – and now also for this child. “Seriously? If you ever ask Jade or her mother to get offical custory for my child, I swear I’ll do everything to have you never see that child. Not to mention that you will see me at court at best for the rest of your lives.”  
He looks into both their eyes, wants them to see it’s not an empty threat, then he turns around: “I’m going to Jade’s.”  
Both his parents call after him, but he doesn’t care as he leaves.

 

He thinks about calling one of the older kids from school to ask them to pull his RV somewhere else, anywhere else, while he sits in a bus on his way to Jade. He doesn’t think he can stand living on his parents’ property anymore.  
But on the way, he calms down a little. They are still his parents. And if they understand, how serious he is, they will never go through with even asking for custody. They will come around.  
Of course, he would like to move away for the idea alone, because they just can’t be like that at all. But he knows they also just want to protect the child. Like they always protected him. And there’s still something inside of him, some safety, he has also felt, every time, his parents have talked to him about what they would need for the child. It’s something about the fact that his parents only once asked him if he’s the father of the child. Even now, thinking about custody, they apparently haven’t talked about also asking their lawyer about a paternity test or something. They do believe and trust him at least in that judgement of Jade.  
So, he won’t move his RV away for now. He’s still in a bad mood, when he arrives at Jade’s.  
But he is a good actor, so when he rings the bell, he puts on one of his smiles and her mother lets him inside and directly sends him up, probably not noticing a thing.  
He also has to tell Jasper that he doesn’t want to play at the moment, then he’s finally up and knocks on Jade’s door.  
She calls him inside and he finds her lying on her bed, reading a book. She turns as he comes inside, checks who comes in though she probably knew by the way he knocked.  
“Hey,” she shortly says before she turns back to her book.  
“Hey,” he answers, closes the door behind him, kicks off his shoes and lies down on the bed next to her.  
He’s used to Jade at least finishing up a chapter when she reads, even when he comes in. Sometimes, she even reads further if there’s not something else going on, if they haven’t planned on going somewhere. He has gotten used to cuddle up to her by now, while she finishes reading. Sometimes, he also reads a few sentences, which often gets him interested in the book (they do have a similiar taste about stories, reading and writing). At other times, he just closes his eyes, while he holds Jade close, and enjoys their silent time together. He really loves Jade and loves being close to her in any way possible.  
He now also definitely needs her close, needs to hold her and is glad to get the chance to do so this easily, without her having to notice anything. He moves up all close to Jade and she presses her body against his without hesitation.  
He smiles as he closes his eyes. Gosh, he loves her so much. And she’s actually having his child. It’s still unbelievable. It’s unbelievable that it’s growing inside of her right now. And he will never let his parents take it away from them.  
“Hey, baby,” he also whispers, letting his hand shortly glide over Jade’s belly, greeting their little child.  
Then, he presses a kiss on Jade’s ear, while she already asks: “Is something going on?”  
She has glanced at him when he has come in and then again, right before he has lied down. He wondered if she was able to see something. This isn’t a question she usually asks. Has she somehow seen in his expression that something happened with his parents again? She’s good at noticing when he doesn’t feel well, but he has done his best to smile as he has come in – and he has also felt like smiling because he’s always happy when he sees Jade.  
“No,” he now just answers and hopes that she has just randomly asked and not because she knows something is up.  
But his answer makes her push herself slightly away from him to be able to look at him. She has noticed. In his expression and now even in his voice as he has answered.  
“What’s wrong?” she asks, looking in his eyes.  
Beck looks back and... god. He can’t tell her. He has burdened her enough with problems with his parents. His parents have never been happy with her around, haven’t liked her since they have first met her, days after they got together. He has already felt safe telling her everything when they were dating – since they are a couple, she is pretty much the only person he feels truly safe to talk to. And when he has fought with his parents, mostly about Jade, he couldn’t help himself and told Jade about it, just to talk about it. He also knew she was strong enough to take it somehow, to take his parents’ mean comments, to make him feel better.  
He knows she’s still strong. But... The pregnancy is a lot for her. Now also putting the threat of his parents onto that? After her grandparents’ reaction? He can’t do that, can he?  
But he also can’t claim there’s nothing going on anymore though. Jade obviously knows and she will get angry if he says otherwise.  
“Don’t make me tell,” he therefore just says.  
Jade sits up, puts her book aside and looks at him intently. “Beck. What’s going on?”  
He sits up as well and shakes his head: “You don’t want to know.”  
“Tell me,” Jade demands, her eyes cooling down.  
Okay, he has to tell. He doesn’t want her to shut him out and that will obviously happen if he doesn’t say it now. He wish he could’ve covered it better – or would now know something else to tell her, something she would also believe, which wouldn’t be so bad.  
But he doesn’t know anything and also can’t easily lie straight into Jade’s face, even if he would think it would be better for her. “I caught my parents talking about fighting for custody.”  
“What?” she asks shocked, her hands instinctively finding her slowly growing belly.  
“They are assholes,” Beck is quick to add. “They say they still want us to take care of our baby, just to have the last say. It’s awful. I told them to never think about it again.”  
Jade looks down onto her own belly, her face unreadable. Beck watches her and tries to think of something else to say, something to take the pain away that his parents bring her, that he has just now delivered. Why do they have to be such idiots? Jade has never done anything bad to them, has never even made a mean comment at them.  
Before he can think of anything, Jade softly says: “Maybe, they should have custody.”  
Beck is sure to have misheard. “What?”  
“They know what they’re doing, Beck,” Jade says, looking back up and suddenly, there are tears.  
He has seen her cry once before, after he has met her father for the first time and they have talked about him afterwards. But for the last few days, he has already been sure to have seen tears in Jade’s eyes every now and then. Not in too important moments necessarily, instead even if they have watched a movie or something. (Though also after they have visited her father’s parents. He has almost been sure she would cry in her arms then, but she has pushed the tears away, while he has hugged her tightly.)  
She has just gotten more emotional in a way. They haven’t talked about it; Beck has pretended not to see instead. At home, he has searched online, if women get more emotional during their pregnancy, because he was able to imagine that – and didn’t want the emotions to stem from the immense stress they are suddenly under, the immense pressure. Indeed, some women do experience being more emotional, and he guesses that and the stress and pressure are what do it to Jade. (He has thought about asking his mother about it before he has decided to google it. He has decided on the internet in this case, because he didn’t want to talk to his mother about Jade’s feelings. After all, Jade is a private person and definitely doesn’t want everybody to know what she feels. Obviously, he has made the right decision there, as his mother apparently can’t be trusted with this whole situation.)  
Jade continues, now with the tears so obvious in her eyes and eventually running down her face, without her covering it: “They love you and they will love this child. Maybe, you and your parents should just take it. You can still let me see it, but maybe... it won’t be messed up like me if I’m not too close to it. If my whole family isn’t too close to it.”  
He feels horrified. How can Jade say something like that?  
“What are you talking about? Jade! You are not messed up. You’re wonderful. You will be a great mother. This child will need you, and you will love this child. You love it already.”  
Of course, his parents also will love this child, but how is that important? Jade also loves it. He knows she loves it already, with the way she absent-mindly strokes her belly, how she reads up on the internet all the things she is and isn’t allowed to do during a pregnancy. With the way, she just... looks at him as well. He does know her.  
She loves their child and she will forever protect it, and that’s the most important thing for every child.  
They look at each other for a long while, before Jade takes a shaky breath. “I’m so scared, Beck.” She sounds broken and weak.  
God, it’s still a mess. All of it. They are both scared like crazy and then his parents come along and scare them even more. Can’t his parents see that this is the only thing they achieve with even thinking about needing to take custody?  
“I am, too,” he honestly says and brushes her tears away with his thumbs, which she lets happen, still holding her belly. “But we can do this. Together. And yes, with help of our parents. But only help. It’s our child. We will have the last decision over it.” Even if they both think they can’t do it. Does any parent really feel ready to take whole responsibility for another human being? He can’t imagine. And they will be able to ask for help, to ask their parents for their thoughts, before making decisions. And there are two of them, Jade and him. Together, they will be able to do this somehow. They will love and protect this child together, will take care of it and send it on its way some day as a great and strong human being. And... “We will never talk bad about whomever our child loves.” Like his parents, who make mistakes like that and still, he turned out okay. He’s fine and their child will be too under their care. His parents won’t take this away from them, won’t ruin all their lives.  
Jade is the one to lean forward, pulling him into a hug, he naturally returns. They lie back down, still embraced and are just with each other. The two of them and their child growing inside of Jade.  
Beck closes his eyes, has long seen Jade do the same.  
“Beck?” Jade whispers after a while.  
Beck opens his eyes again, sees her watching him. “Mhm?” he makes.  
There are no tears at all anymore, but a strong look in Jade’s face. “I need you to do a few things for me.”  
“Anything,” Beck says readily. If he could, he would give Jade the whole world.  
Jade digs her fingers into his shirt. “Always tell me the truth, even if it hurts me. Better being hurt one time big than finding out everything has been a lie.”  
He looks at her and doesn’t know what to say. Can he always tell her the truth? He hasn’t wanted today, has wanted to keep his parents’ thoughts for himself. He doesn’t like hurting Jade at all, he doesn’t want to do it. And she doesn’t need to know everything, to be stressed out by stuff like this. She’s pregnant and there’s enough going on.  
Jade clearly states, when he doesn’t say anything: “I need you to promise me to be honest with me.”  
It’s important to her, so damn important. And he knows he doesn’t like it, but if that’s what she needs... “I promise.”  
Jade nods and suddenly takes one of his hands in hers, pulling it onto her belly. “And I need you to stay with this child. No matter what happens between us or our parents, or our grandparents for that matter... Your main concern has to be our baby’s happiness.”  
Because she knows, she can’t count on him always staying with her. They are fifteen and they feel like they will love each other forever, but... he knows that every teenager feels like that and yet rarely any teenage couple stay together forever. Jade knows that, too. And because she can’t ask him to be with her forever, she instead makes him promise to always stay with the child. Too many parents, especially fathers, don’t take care of their child anymore if the relationship between the parents breaks apart. She doesn’t want that to happen to their child, she wants it to have both of them.  
He wants it, too. “Okay. I promise,” he therefore easily says.  
Jade looks at him for another moment, before she draws him into a slow kiss.  
And suddenly, he knows what he needs to do with his parents. He would do anything for Jade and it’s good that she has just told him what she needs, what the two most important things are for her at the moment. His parents also would do anything for him.

He only goes back home the next day. His parents both sit in the living room, when he walks in. Both stand up as he comes in and he directly says: “We need to talk about yesterday.”  
“Beck, you have to understand that we don’t mean any harm,” his mother quickly says.  
His father nods: “We want to protect you and your child.”  
He knows, that’s true. The rational side of him knows, though the blood is still pumping angrily through his veins as he thinks about them wanting to take his child away from Jade – and also from him in a way, because they don’t want him to have custody but want it themselves (probably because they deem him too influenced by Jade or whatever).  
He takes a deep breath to stay calm now, and says: “You don’t protect us if you seek custody. That will make sure that Jade and I won’t feel like we’re able to take care of our own child, and we won’t be able to do it because of it. You won’t have the final say in the child’s life, but we of course will ask you for help. Neither Jade nor I know what to do. But I need you to support and trust us. I need you to be on my side on this, no matter what, to give me advice but never go over my head. I can’t have you attack Jade in any way.”  
After that, it’s silent. His parents look at him and he looks straight back. That’s what he needs right now from them. He can’t have any of this stress.  
Finally, his parents share a glance, then his mother says: “Okay. We are sorry. We love you, Beck.”  
“I love you, too.”


	8. Job and Break-up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to the new chapter! Wanted to quickly throw in a thanks for the three kudos I got until now. Hope you keep liking this fic. :)

Beck is back from Canada and his whole family now knows, too. She’s sixteen weeks pregnant, it’s the beginning of November, the school knows for five days and Jade feels close to a break-down.  
She doesn’t even know, what it is. Their classmates keep talking and today, this Monday, she hears some of the girls say that she better not force Beck to drop out of school to provide for her and her child.  
What kind of idiots are they?  
She usually is immune to people talking about her, but everything seems to hurt her nowadays and there are tears in her eyes more and more.  
The thing that makes everything worse is the fact that she thinks that everyone is right in doubting her. Her grandparents, Beck’s grandparents, Beck’s parents, her father, her teachers and her classmates. And that she needs to prove to everyone that some things won’t happen. Like her making Beck drop out of school to provide for them. It’s ridiculous. (Even though her grandparents would even want that – they are also idiots.)  
But it makes her think again about money and how Beck and she will still go to school for three more years, then go to college. She wants to graduate from high school and from college, but she can still work part time, can’t she? She could work on the weekends or after school. She probably wouldn’t be able to earn all the money she needs, but at least a good chunk of it. And as soon as she goes to college, she can probably somehow work full time next to college. Other people do that, don’t they? Not everyone gets supported by their families, do they?  
She has searched online, but she barely knows, where to start looking. So, she finally takes the newspaper. She knows her father has found a lot of his jobs, he has had all through her childhood, through the vacancies listed there. There must be some for her as well, right?  
Her brother is still with friends as she sits at the kitchen table, reading through the vacancies, trying to find jobs that would allow her to still go to school next to it. She marks a few of them, when her mother comes home.  
“Hey,” her mother says as she walks in. She directly walks through to the kitchen, putting her bag on one of the chairs, as Jade quickly closes the newspaper.  
They have shortly talked about a job. Her mother has told her, she wouldn’t get herself one, she would have to concentrate on school and this child. Jade is ready to fake her signature if she needs her permission to work – or to make herself older.  
“What are you doing?” her mother asks, looking at the newspaper, already kind of sharply. Well, she does know when Jade plans to do something she doesn’t want her to do.  
“Nothing,” Jade says, pushing the newspaper away. It’s also not like she has never read one. She does read it from time to time.  
Her mother pulls the newspaper over and opens it, easily finding what she has been looking at, as Jade has marked some of the vacancies.  
Her mother’s eyes now fly over them, before she looks up to Jade again, raising her eyebrows. “Jade? Are you searching for a job?”  
No, she’s coloring. What a dumb question. “What if I am?” she spits out.  
“We talked about this,” her mother says, her voice rising. “You have to finish your education.”  
As if she doesn’t know that. Still. What does her mother expect her to do? “And what? Be dependent on you for the rest of my life?”  
She stands up and takes a few steps away, but her mother follows her. “You also would be dependent on me without being pregnant. You are fifteen. That’s what’s normal at this age of time and in the society we live in.”  
But she doesn’t want to be dependent. She doesn’t want to put this on her mother. Or on Beck’s parents or Beck himself. God. She just wants to get this done herself. She doesn’t want the idiots in school to talk, she doesn’t want Beck’s parents involved in her life, she doesn’t want Beck to give up on anything and she doesn’t want her mother to have any more stress because of her. She remembers how her mother was back when Jasper’s father cheated on her and she threw him out and suddenly stood there alone with two children. She looks so similiar nowadays, has simliar worries in her eyes, rubs her hands nervously in the same way, when she thinks Jade isn’t looking.  
She shouldn’t keep worrying. This is on Jade. And to push her out, to make her drop Jade and let her work for herself, she spits out: “And when has this family ever been normal?” She knows it’ll hurt her mother. She has a knack of knowing what hurts people, though she usually only uses it on her father.  
But she knows her mother always tried making a somewhat normal home for her and her brother, to be both parents for them in a way. She tried not having Jade too involved in all the guys she dated over time, though she kind of always was involved. She has tried to not have her own parents be too awful to Jade, too judging over her, has always tried to make her parents out to be good grandparents and her ex-husband to be a good father.  
Now, she just wants to hurt her, so she will stop worrying about her.  
Her mother presses her lips together for a moment and finally, for the first time after Jade has announced her pregnancy, she raises her voice at her: “You won’t drop out of school to work!”  
Jade is more than ready to also finally raise her voice again: “Maybe, I’ll do both!”  
“And who will take care of your child?” her mother asks loudly.  
Okay, she hasn’t thought about that. If she goes to school and then to work... But.... “Beck,” she definiantely says, lying her hands on her belly. Beck does want to take care of their child and he will be a great father.  
“Next to school of course,” her mother says though. “So, you’ll never be there, while Beck tries to get a good education and to take care of your child all on his own.”  
Well... Her mother might have a point there. She does want Beck to be able to concentrate fully on school. But whenever she can, she will also take care of the child. Somehow, she will be able to do it. “We will do it together.”  
“You can’t do it all, Jade,” her mother says and for some reason, it hurts.  
She just wants to get this done. She wants to be able to go to school, to earn the money and to take care of her child. She doesn’t want to be the little child asking for help all the time, still needing her mother.  
“Because I’m a child?” she asks, trying to sound angry, not hurt, though the tears are pushing themselves into her eyes again. She quickly runs her hands over her eyes, before she crosses her arms.  
“Because noone can,” her mother answers, sounding angry herself. “And now stop this! This is ridiculous.”  
She actually walks back to the table and crumples up the newspaper there.  
And Jade can’t hold her tears back anymore, crying in front of her mother for the first time in probably more than ten years. “Why can’t you understand that I... I want to do this on my own?” She needs to. To prove to everyone and herself that she can.  
Her mother comes back closer again, still sounding angry: “Nobody raises a child on their own!”  
Well, that’s just stupid. “You did.” Her mother has raised her and now raises Jasper on her own. She knows, her own father barely pays child support, because he never went to college and doesn’t earn much money in the different jobs he has had over time. Jasper’s father meanwhile likes making him good presents, but also never earned much money and if he does, he doesn’t like to give it to her mother to actually pay for the living costs of his son. It’s her mother that pays everything. The great house they are living in, all the food, the school supplies, every extra curricular, everything. And she also saves up for college for both Jasper and her next to it (though as Jade understands it, her father also saves up for college for her, as he desperately wants her to go).  
“Honestly?” her mother asks. “Have you forgotten how often you had to go to your grandparents as a child? Or how often you yourself still have to take care of your brother? I wasn’t able to raise you on my own. I took care of the money because noone was willing to help me with that and I wanted to make sure you and your brother have a good life. So, I made a career, which turns out to be the best now as I will be able to provide for a third child – all on my own if we have to.” If Beck and his parents won’t pay for it after all, won’t care about it.  
Well... And yes, it’s true that she was with her grandparents a lot as a child. Her grandparents of both sides. Her father also had to work most times, but one of her grandparents usually had time to watch her. Or pretend to watch her. She was also left alone a lot in her father’s parents’ home, though she never told her mother as she knew that would mean more stress for her to find someone else to watch her.  
Her mother steps even closer now, putting a hand on her arm. Her face has softened, though Jade is glad that she hasn’t immediately drawn back from any argument as soon as she saw Jade crying. She would’ve hated that and would’ve never forgiven her mother for it. She wants her to treat her like usual, not like some fragile little girl.  
Her mother now thoughtfully says: “Though I can’t help to think we wouldn’t be in this mess, if I actually would have spent more time with you as a child.”  
As if that would’ve changed anything. Jade didn’t become pregnant out of spite, she didn’t do it on purpose. It was an accident. She also doesn’t think she wouldn’t have had sex, if her mother would’ve been around more when she was little. But her mother seems to believe that. As if Jade had needed closeness from Beck, because she was missing that of her mother or something. As if she was so screwed up that she had sex too early or something.  
Well... And all that definitely doesn’t have anything to do with each other, not in her case.  
Dryly, she says: “Beck’s parents always were around when he was a child. And he is the one, who made me pregant.” So, it obviously doesn’t matter how you bring up your child; this can happen either way. (Though Jade knows a certain upbring can make this more likely.)  
Her mother smiles and claims: “That comforts me.” Then: “Anyway... If there’s one thing, Beck’s parents and I obviously agree on, it’s that you and Beck both should finish your education. Not just high school, but college as well. We will provide for you. All three of you. You just keep being good in school and be a good mother.”  
And that’s the biggest problem. With all the bad things being said in her school, with everything going on...  
“What if I can’t be?” she asks, sounding too broken for her own taste, but exactly like she feels.  
And with the way her mother looks at her at that, she knows this isn’t about Jade being worried she can’t be good in school. Of course she wants to be and already can imagine that as hard, next to having a child. But the part, she worries about, she is truly scared of, is the thing about being a good mother.  
“You will be,” her own mother now assures her though, intently, pulling her into a hug. “You will be, honey.”  
And she feels her mother dropping a kiss on her hair as she also hasn’t done in a long time. She closes her eyes and takes deep breaths, the tears suddenly running again, but it’s okay. Right now, it’s okay.  
They stay in the silent hug, until the ringing of the doorbell breaks them apart.  
Her mother wipes her tears away with her thumbs, looking at her smiling. “And that’ll probably the father of your child. We should tell him he can start coming inside without ringing the doorbell. You will be family soon enough.”  
Jade has to smile as well and hastily dries her face totally when her mother goes to open the door. It really is Beck. He has come over every day after school the whole last week. Usually, Jade visits him, as they can be truly alone in his RV. But since his parents have talked about wanting custody the Saturday before last, he hasn’t felt like having her so close to his parents, which is why he has come over instead. He hasn’t been here during the weekend, as he has been in Canada with his parents, telling his family about the pregnancy, and she has been waiting in his RV afterwards (he has told her where he has hid the key previously, so she wouldn’t have to break in and could wait there for him).

 

Beck and she may see each other all the time, spend pretty much all their time together, which is even more important for them now than before the pregnancy.  
But it isn’t easy. A little more than a week later, it just breaks apart. They already fight more over the week, get ticked off way easier by each other.  
Jade is on the brink of her nerves and knows, Beck is too at times. She by now has run out at the end of class to cry in the janitor’s closet. Somehow, she has wondered in class if her child would sit in a similiar class some day, if they would learn the same things, and for some reason it had choked her up. She is way too emotional, but still... She can push the tears back, until the bell rings, then she is the first out of the room and disappears into the janitor’s closet. Of course, her classmates have noticed at least a little.  
The talk about her has never died down and only will in the new year.  
As she walks from the class room to her locker after one class on Tuesday, she sees that Beck isn’t alone at his locker. Instead, Meredith is standing with him.  
Jade comes to a halt, watches how Meredith touches Beck’s arm as she laughs about something he said. She sees his smile. And from one second to the next, she just could cry again. Why does he always need to flirt back? Especially now? Especially with her?  
He must know that Meredith, like so many other girls, actually thinks Jade has gone off and had someone else impregnate her to bind Beck to her – Beck, who never would be so dumb to not protect, but still feels responsible for her now for some reason. They think, Beck is the poor victim, that naturally deserves better than Jade.  
Jade overhears them all the time, especially in the girls’ restroom. She also lashes out at them all the time.  
Beck must know about Meredith. And still, here he is, smiling that way at her, talking to her at all. Because he doesn’t care about Jade’s feelings. Because getting some girl’s attention is more important to him than her well-being, her existence.  
But she won’t cry because of this. She is stronger. She has to be.  
“Leave him alone,” she now cuts through with a vicious voice, stepping up to them in a threatening way.  
Meredith’s eyes widen, as she spins around to her. At least, she’s afraid of Jade. At least, Jade can still send everyone running, just like Meredith now, after her quickly saying: “I’m sorry.”  
Jade is sure that soon enough, she won’t be able to do that anymore. As soon as any of them will see her cry, actually cry, not just hurry out of the room, she won’t be able to scare them ever again, they won’t take her seriously. She already heard some guys laughing at the thought of her crying and that being the reason, she sometimes is gone.  
She quickly turns around and takes a deep breath to calm herself down, as she walks to her own locker.  
Beck now follows her quickly, sounding a little angry: “Can you please stop that?”  
How can he be such an ass sometimes? He has never gotten why Jade doesn’t like him talking to other girls that much (just talking possibly wouldn’t be a problem, but he always has to smile in a flirtatious way, always has to give the girls the impression, they have a chance with him, never makes sure to tell them he is happy with Jade). Can he not get it this time? Does he not understand that she’s pregnant by him and Meredith is one of the people doubting that? And that she feels completely powerless, seeing him still talking to her? Not standing up for her in at least ignoring those idiots, instead of even flirting with them?  
“Are you serious?” she shoots back, not even looking at him. “You are the one, who should be stopping that!”  
“Stop what?” he asks desperately.  
She spins around, glaring at him. “Flirting all the time with idiot girls.”  
“I’m not flirting,” he makes sure to say like always.  
“Yeah, right,” she answers.  
Beck looks annoyed. “Can we stop this stupid fight? There is enough else going on.”  
Oh, is there? “So, you do remember I’m having your child?” Which makes it all the worse that he’s flirting with a girl who thinks she cheats on him. Why doesn’t he get that?  
“God, Jade,” he says. “Don’t always be so dramatic.”  
What a thing to say! Yeah, because she’s dramatic. Right. “Piss off!”  
“What is your problem?” Beck questions and if he really doesn’t know that...  
“You!”  
“Very grown-up,” he shoots back sarcastically.  
“Sorry, I’m not perfect like Meredith,” she spits back and he seems exasperated: “Jade.”  
And she has enough. He doesn’t even understand her problem. He doesn’t understand why she hates his flirting in general, but especially with Meredith.  
“You know what?” she finally says. “I think we should just break up.”  
Beck’s face falls. Serves him right. “Are you serious?”  
“Yes,” Jade firmly states.  
Beck’s face hardens. “Fine. Then, I guess we should.”  
Fine. Okay. Then, they aren’t a couple anymore. Jade spins back around and leaves. She leaves the school altogether, knowing, everyone watches her, everyone would see her going into the janitor’s closet and would have a hunch what she would be doing in there, that everyone has just witnessed them breaking up. She walks down the block, disappears into a corner and just breaks together, crying terribly in a way like she has never done before.

 

He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t know why she got that angry. Yes, he knows she’s more sensitive lately. The mood between them has been difficult in general lately, with her being so emotional and him truly having trouble at times handling it. With their grandparents being awful and the situation just being difficult in general. But he has really just talked to Meredith now. He can’t have her forbid him to talk to any girl.  
He tries talking to her again, to say he is sorry in a way, but she doesn’t want to listen.  
She cries more over the next few days. At least in school. It’s every day now and he still tries to cover for her, like before. Before, he has usually pretended to go make out with her or something. Now, he also disappears when he sees that Jade is gone again and acts angry when he’s around people afterwards, as if they just had another fight. It works a little. Their friends might notice something, but nobody else does.  
It goes on for a week. Beck can barely think about anything but Jade. He also wonders how it will work now with their baby. Jade has to start talking to him again. The second ultrasound is also coming up. Beck would really like to be there, no matter what’s going on between the two of them.  
But he also misses spending time with Jade. He really loves her. But he can’t have her behave jealous like that. He saw how truly angry she got. And just because he talked to a girl? Who, by the way, also is kind of his friend. Not like Andre, Cat or Robbie, but his friend all the same in a way.  
They are almost broken up for a week, it’s Monday, when Meredith speaks to him again at his locker. They talk about one of their classes at first, then Meredith tells him about a play she has recently seen.  
“I would like to watch it again. Would you like to go with me?” she now gently asks.  
Okay, she wants to go on a date with him. Jade was right in thinking Meredith wants more than just friendship from him. But that’s not his fault and he can still be friends with her, right?  
“No,” he now answers, but also doesn’t want to offend Meredith in making her believe that’s just because of her, because he doesn’t think she is a great person or something. So, he adds: “I don’t think I will be ready for that for a long time.”  
He does love Jade after all. He doesn’t want to go out with anyone else at the time. Not to mention, that she is pregnant by him. It wouldn’t feel right to date someone else now, even if he wouldn’t love her.  
“Come on,” Meredith says, tilting her head. “Jade broke up with you.” As if that means, he’s free to go out with anyone else. Which he kind of is, but...  
“She is with my child,” Beck says in hope that Meredith gets that that means he can’t just start dating around. He will be a father. And Jade will be the mother of his child. He knows, not everyone understands how damn much he loves Jade – everyone should get this, right?  
But Meredith shrugs. “You know... She probably only got pregnant just for this. So, you will stay with her forever in a way.”  
Okay, what? Does she really believe that? Does she believe Jade got pregnant, will have a child she will have to take care of for the rest of her life, just to bind him to her? That she would potentially ruin her future, so he will stay with her forever, though they are not even a couple for a full year now?  
But he can’t even react to that, except furrowing his eyebrows. Meredith already continues: “I can imagine it isn’t even your child.”  
It instantly goes cold and starts boiling inside of Beck at the same time.  
“You have to be kidding me. Are you serious?” he asks.  
Meredith seems to see that he got angry. He doesn’t often get angry. He only ever lets it out around his parents or Jade – because they are the only ones who can make him feel strongly enough to even get angry. But Meredith talking like this about Jade? Seriously? In his face? Her not only believing, Jade planned getting pregnant, but purposely getting pregnant by another guy? Because she would just jump into bed with some random guy?  
He won’t have this. After he hasn’t lashed out in front of her grandparents, because he knew she wouldn’t have wanted it, wouldn’t have allowed him to fight her battles for her. He won’t listen to anyone else talk bad about Jade. He never allowed his parents. He won’t allow any random girl like Meredith.  
“It’s just... that’s what everyone’s saying,” Meredith carefully says, having taken a small step back at his anger.  
“Then, everyone here is an idiot,” Beck clearly states and has to wonder if that’s truly what everyone’s saying. He hasn’t heard of that until now. He has heard other awful things about Jade, about how she won’t be a good mother, which had also made him angry. Though he had usually heard them when he was with Jade – and then took care of Jade instead of going after those idiots. He has never heard these rumors and they make him sick and make his heart heavy and take his breath away. Her grandmother has taken his breath away as well four weeks ago, when she has said they could be happy to even know who the father is. How can anyone believe Jade would sleep around? How can anyone look at Jade and think something like that? How can people be so blind?  
“It’s my child and Jade planned it as much as I did, which is not at all.”  
Meredith looks unsure. “You know how she can be.”  
“Yes, I know,” he angrily answers. “And that’s why I know what I say is true. Now, go away and don’t ever talk to me again.”  
“Beck,” Meredith starts protesting, but he won’t have this: “Leave me alone.”  
Meredith looks close to tears at that. Whatever it is with her. She isn’t pregnant. She is just oversensitive because of nothing. Insulting Jade and thinking he would agree and still want her around? Yeah, right.  
She leaves and Beck actually huffs, as he turns back to his locker. God. How many other of their classmates believe any of that?  
Out of the corner of his eye, he notices someone approaching him and wants to send them away, because he’s so not in the mood, not even to talk to any of his friends. But it’s Jade, who leans herself against the lockers next to his.  
He looks at her and... god, she knew. She knew that Meredith thought that way. She knew those rumors from the get-go. That’s what made her so angry. He feels sick thinking about how he talked so nicely to Meredith a week ago, when Jade already knew what an idiot Meredith was. Had Jade thought he knew, too? That he knew Meredith thought that way and still talked to her? Still smiled at her at all?  
He knows, she’s possessive of him anyway, gets jealous way too easily. That will probably worsen with the pregnancy. But this hasn’t just been about jealousy. She has been so much more angry and rightfully so.  
“I’m...” he starts, wants to tell her he’s sorry, for not knowing, for not understanding.  
But Jade interrupts him by grabbing his face and pulling him into a kiss. It feels unbelievingly relieving after that week without her.  
She must have overheard them just now and must have realized that Beck in fact didn’t know. She must have doubted his support before, with him still talking to Meredith, but must know now that he didn’t mean to be ignorant to her feelings or anything.  
When they break apart, she softly whispers: “Me, too.”  
And there’s no reason for her to be sorry. But he understands that she’s apologizing for not explaining what her real problem was, for just assuming he was insensitive, though she should know him better.  
And god, how much he loves her.  
“Wanna be together again?” he asks and she looks at him so intently, before she kisses him again.

 

It doesn’t get easier over time, though Beck now tries to be more attentive to what people say and shuts them up as well – and Jade knows not to just assume anymore that Beck knows all the rumors. With them having to get all the stuff for the baby and the due date coming closer, it gets more stressful by the day. They also do fight, like they have done before the pregnancy. But they don’t break up again, until their child is born, somehow stronger than before.


	9. Second ultrasound, Name and Movement

A week after they get back together, at the end of October, Jade being nineteen weeks pregnant, they have the second ultrasound for their child. The weekend before, Jade finally sleeps over in Beck’s RV again.  
Jade is a little scared that his parents will judge her again even more, after they have been broken up, but when she sees them for dinner on Friday, she’s pretty sure they don’t know. She also hasn’t told her mother about it. Though she guesses her mother might have had an inkling, because Beck and she didn’t see each other at all for almost a week next to school, which hasn’t happened since they have been a couple – or even when they have just been dating. With Beck living in the RV, his parents don’t necessarily know how often he meets whom, while Jade’s mother has always found her home after she has come home alone from work over the last week.  
When they wait on Sunday for her mother to come pick her up, they lie on his bed together and talk about how tomorrow will go. How they will take the bus from school to her gynecologist’s office.  
Her mother has also offered to get back from work early to drive them and possibly come inside with them. She’s certain her mother also would like to be there, but... it’s her and Beck’s moment, isn’t it? And Beck’s parents most certainly also won’t be there. They all can see the sonogram afterwards.  
Beck is positively excited for tomorrow (Jade honestly is as well) and wonders if they will already get to know the sex. They agree that they want to know if it’s possible. Jade read online, that sometimes, you can’t see anything because the baby hides so well.  
She’s online a lot and reads up on everything. She likes to be prepared and she may also remember Jasper as a small baby or still inside their mother’s womb, but it’s so very different being the older sister or being the actual mother. How many things she didn’t notice, know or care for during her mother’s pregnancy...  
She now tells Beck: “By the way... I read that sometimes, twins don’t get noticed during the first ultrasound but only during the second.”  
Beck’s eyes widen. “Oh, god. Imagine them being twins or triplets or something.”  
She has to smirk. That was her first reaction, too. She feels pretty confident, she only carries one child. But what if...?  
“Right? Three babies with sixteen,” she says, still smirking.  
And Beck of course quickly gets over the shock of the possibilty of that, also knowing that that’s rather slim. Instead, he now says: “We’ll have to give them up for adoption then.” They won’t be able to raise more than one child. At this time, at least.  
“Definitely,” Jade nods. “All of them. We won’t keep one of them, then. They should stay together.”  
Beck jokes: “I just hope we can sell the baby stuff we already bought.” They indeed have bought a few little things already. Nothing too big as especially his parents have said they still have some of Beck’s old things. But her mother has just said last week that they should probably start buying a few things, so not all the costs would add up at once. So, they went to a baby store, pretty much the day after they got back together, which was really weird, and bought like... two toys, a cute blanket and a few clothes.  
Jade dryly suggests: “Or we’ll give these up for adoption and then go for another one. A single baby we can keep.”  
Beck has to laugh. “God. Imagine our parents’ look at that.”  
Jade also has to laugh. “They would definitely throw us out. But it would be a funny story to tell.”  
“Not for the ones we didn’t keep,” Beck answers amused. It’s this kind of dark humor that Beck feels like he needs. It’s that that gets them through. He is so glad Jade has a lot of it ready, that she needs it just as much. He has always loved Jade’s humor, but now more than ever.

 

Of course, she is only pregnant with one child. A boy.  
Dr. Feldman shows them on the monitor how he can tell and Jade is about to cry again. She doesn’t care which sex her child has, but somehow it touches her to know a little bit more about her child.  
“It looks absolutely healthy. You are nineteen weeks now. Have you already felt it?” Dr. Feldman finally asks her.  
“What do you mean?” Jade asks as he gives her a paper towels to dry her belly off. This time, he did do the ultrasound like she knows it from the movies.  
Dr. Feldman explains: “Your child moves around since it’s there. But it’s big enough now that you could already feel it. You should feel it in another month. It will be... just a flutter at first, but soon you will also see it.”  
She remembers seeing Jasper inside her mother. When he kicked and there was actually a feet visible in her belly. Okay. So, she’s already close to that?

They go back to Beck’s home, directly showing Beck’s father the picture, while they make a copy for Beck to keep. His father has just come home and now says: “It’s so big already. And the pregnancy also is almost halfway through. Not even five months to go. We probably should meet up with your mother again soon.”  
Afterwards, Beck and Jade go back into the RV. Jade’s mother has promised to pick her up again, right before dinner.  
Now, both of them look at the sonogram together – or at both of them, also getting out their first one. That makes two photos of their baby. Their baby boy.  
“Should we talk about names?” Jade asks after some time. She has thought every now and then, that sooner or later they would need to name their baby. Even if they call it ‘baby’ all the time, when they speak to each other... or when each of them speaks to Jade’s belly. Jade does it when she’s alone mostly, tells it good night often, right after she has sent a text with the same words to Beck. Beck also randomly tells it to have a good morning. Usually, when they sleep over, but also sometimes in school, quietly, because noone else needs to hear.  
Beck now also says, amused: “I’m not sure I can get used to anything else than ‘baby’. After we’ve called it... him that for so many weeks now.”  
“Then let’s just call him Baby,” Jade claims. “Baby... Oliver.”  
“That would be funny,” Beck says with a grin, pulling Jade closer. They are sitting together on the couch, her having her legs over his lap and leaning against him all the same, the photos lying on her legs. “But I think Baby West would be better.”  
Her last name?  
Beck notices her pausing and earnestly, he tells her: “I like your last name.”  
“My father’s last name,” she softly reminds him. A man, he hates. It isn’t her mother’s last name, whom Beck honestly likes. And who actually has been there for Jade over her life.  
Jade loves her name herself, including her last name. She would like her baby to also have it, to be bound to her by its last name as well. But does Beck honestly want his child to have the same last name as Jade’s father? Or does he just wants to be nice, like he often tries to be (though he’s usually pretty honest to Jade, as she likes and wants it)?  
“Which has been yours all your life as well. It’s a good name,” Beck says. “Oliver... You won’t believe how many people, especially teachers, I had to explain over time that Oliver isn’t my first name but my last. I think our baby would be better off with your last name.”  
He shrugs and... Jade feels a little too emtional again. She would love for her son to be named like her.  
Beck slowly adds: “Maybe, you know... if we stay together and marry some day... I could take it as well.”  
Okay, wow. After they have just been broken up a week ago. But Jade likes that thought. She also wants to imagine Beck and her staying together. And he would be ready to take her last name then?  
Well, but that would still be a long time away, either way. First, the baby, which needs a name. And she asks: “Are you sure?”  
He doesn’t know if she means about the baby’s name or his, but either way, his answer is: “I am.”  
She has to smile and kisses Beck quickly. So, their baby’s last name will be West.  
Thoughtfully, she says: “Maybe, we could name him Oliver as a second name. We don’t need to call him that all the time but that way, your family would be included in the name as well. You know... Not as a second last name, but as a second first name.” If Beck doesn’t want it as its surname... She personally also doesn’t like the idea of two last names.  
Beck tilts his head, seems to think about it, then he smiles: “I’d like that. So Baby Oliver West.”  
Jade has to laugh a little. Yes, that would be some name. Actually... “We could also call him just Oliver West.” Though she wouldn’t like that. Her son’s first name being her boyfriend’s last? That’s stupid. But weirdly enough, it would be possible without their baby’s first name being even slightly abnormal.  
Beck understands that Jade isn’t actually suggesting that name and adds: “We totally should put our first names in as well. A mash-up of them, you know? Like how they do with celebreties. Like... Bade. Oh, or Jack. That works. Jack Oliver West.”  
Before Beck can even get the idea, that Jack could be a decent name, Jade quickly says: “God, no. It’s too easy to make jackass out of Jack.”  
That makes Beck laugh. Of course, Jade would say something like that.  
When he has calmed down again, he says: “Seriously though... What about ‘Benjamin’?”  
Okay, the first serious suggestion. Jade looks at Beck in surprise. The way, he says the name, it actually sounds as if he already has thought about it. He has, kind of. He has wondered, how they could name their child, what names he likes. It’s so weird, to suddenly have to give another human being a name. That’s not at all like giving a name to a pet.  
Jade finds it extremely scary meanwhile. The child will have to live with it for a while, will live with it forever as its given name.  
Beck shrugs, as he sees her surprise. “I like the name. That’s what I called my invisible friend as a child.”  
Jade snorts. She has heard about Beck’s invisible friend before. She has already laughed at Beck back when he talked to her about it. She still finds the thought of it funny. Especially as Beck always had actual friends. Why the heck did he also need an invisible one?  
Then, she says though, putting her hands on her belly. “Well, you might not see it yet, but our baby certainly isn’t invisble.”  
She nods to the picture on her legs and Beck smiles, draws her into a short kiss, before he says: “I know. But I really like the name anyway.”  
Jade leans her head against Beck’s shoulder, thoughtfully repeating the name: “Benjamin.”  
“You like it, too,” Beck notices. If she wouldn’t have liked that name, even with knowing Beck liked it, she would’ve reacted like with the suggestion of Jack. Or worse, knowing Beck would be serious about it and not wanting a name for her son, she didn’t like.  
Jade shrugs slightly. “Well, it’s not one of those weird modern names. It doesn’t sound like an alias which, you know, is good because he can give himself one of those if he needs to, some day.”  
Beck rubs her back, as he slowly says: “Benjamin West.” He likes the sound of it, to be honest.  
“Benjamin Oliver West,” Jade adds, still thoughtfully. “Well, it does work, no matter if you speak the middle name or not.”  
“Have we just decided on the name of our child?” Beck asks positively excited.  
“I don’t know,” Jade says unsure. “We should think about that longer, shouldn’t we? It’s an important decision.”  
Which is true. It is an important decision. “But it feels right, doesn’t it?” Beck replies though. “That our baby’s name is Benjamin.”  
Jade shrugs again, repeating the name again silently, then suddenly asking: “What’s the meaning of the name?”  
“I don’t know,” Beck honestly says.  
“Imagine it has a stupid meaning,” she says and grabs her phone from the coffee table. “We have to look it up.”  
She starts searching for it and as she reads, she tells Beck, what she’s looking at: “Of course, the name also is in the bible. That story sounds weird. That Benjamin was apparently named slightly differently and in Hebrew it then meant ‘son of my sorrow’. But Benjamin itself just means ‘son of the south’. That’s fine, I guess. It would be better if it had a great meaning, but... well...”  
She shrugs again and he presses a kiss on her forehead.  
“We can keep thinking about it, okay?” Beck then says. “But I really do like the name.”  
“I do, too,” Jade gently says, because for some reason she does. “As soon as we have decided... Do you want to tell everyone?”  
They somehow directly have told his father that it’s a boy. Jade is pretty sure, they will tell the rest of the family and their friends as well. They also will show the picture and she guesses, their parents could see by themselves that it’s a boy, all already having seen their own sonograms, so it would be of no use, trying to make a secret out of it. But the name?  
Beck seems to think along the same lines, as he says: “I think it should stay our little secret until our baby is born. Something, that is just for us.” After they had to tell so many people so quickly, after their parents are extremely involved in all of this, after everything,  
Jade likes that thought. Something, that’s just for them. Something about their baby, that noone except them will know. She smiles as they share another kiss.

Somehow, they start calling the baby Benjamin, when noone else can hear. They get so used to it that they don’t need to talk about giving that name to their child again. They do talk about it around Christmas, but more along the lines that there is obviously no other option than to call the baby Benjamin anymore.  
It’s weird because Jade would’ve guessed it much harder to name their baby. She knows, it was harder for her mother to name Jasper – and she didn’t even make sure, Jasper’s father was fine with the name as well, she just decided for herself. While Beck and Jade now had to agree on a name. Heck, they had more trouble agreeing on having the child than now on the name.  
But she’s glad, it went so easily. She’s glad she keeps liking the name.  
Though she and Beck also still like calling it just baby.  
About two weeks after their appointment, Jade feels the baby move for the first time. Jade immediately knows, it’s her child. This feeling as if there’s... a goldfish in her stomach.  
She tells herself that maybe she only imagines it because she’s waiting for some movement since Dr. Feldman said she would feel it soon. But she knows in her heart, that it’s real. It’s actually her baby. She can feel it now.  
It happens more and more. In the middle of class or in bed, right before she goes to sleep.  
She tells Beck about the movement, after the third time, she feels it. Beck smiles and seems happy about it. She knows that he doesn’t really understand yet though. Because he doesn’t feel it himself.  
The day before her sixteenth birtday, which is a Sunday this year, her being twentyfour weeks now, she finds the movement of her child with her own hand, as she lies in bed. She feels that it gets hard there, that there is a small body inside her belly. It’s amazing.  
On her bithday, Beck comes over before lunch.  
They greet each other at the door, Beck wishing her a happy birthday and already giving her her present, before Jade pulls Beck with her into her room, to have at least some alone time with him, before they will eat lunch with her mother and her brother and then her grandparents coming over (and meeting Beck for the first time since they announced the pregnancy to them).  
They start making out a little, before Beck turns to her belly: “Hello, baby.”  
And it’s almost as if their baby recognizes its father’s voice and wants to answer, at least it moves slightly.  
Instinctively, Jade lies one of her hands on her belly, and Beck gets, what that means: “Is it moving?”  
“Yeah,” Jade answers and Beck smiles as he puts a hand on Jade’s belly as well and says: “It’s probably excited.”  
Then, he turns back to the belly: “Are you excited, baby? It’s your mommy’s sixteenth birthday. You’ll be able to celebrate her seventeenth with us.”  
Which is unbelieveable. But Jade can’t get too amazed by that, as that’s the moment, the baby starts doing cartwheels or something in her belly. He’s moving all around and she instantly says: “Beck.”  
And she takes his hand in hers and pulls it to the spot, where she feels the movement.  
She watches him closely, feels another strong movement, and then his eyes widen.  
“Is that our baby?” he asks, in surprise and already touched. He has felt it. He has felt their baby for the very first time just now.  
“It is,” she says with a smile and feels the tears coming up again. But at least, she sees them coming up in Beck’s eyes as well, as he turns back to her belly, now stroking it softly: “Wow. Oh, god. Hello, Benjamin. It’s me, your daddy. I can feel you. I can really feel you.”  
And the next second, he’s up with Jade again, kissing her deeply.

It’s only possible to also see the movement another month later. Jade has seen it twice when she has wanted to go to sleep, while she already lied in bed. That’s somehow the time, the baby is most active – when she is the most calm.  
Though generally, the baby is relatively calm. She has read up how much other women feel it, how much their babies move, and as she can gather, their baby is generally not that wild. Well... It’s Beck’s child.  
She spends the day of Christmas Eve at Beck’s, with his family. Both his grandparents are visiting from Canada for this Christmas, which they have never done before. But apparently, they wanted to see Jade again. Jade knows that that only is, so they can judge her. Well, but she will suck it up, because Beck is close to his family and... well, they won’t say anything bad into her face. They are all too polite for that.  
It actually goes okay. One of his grandmothers asks how the pregnancy is going, but she lets Beck answer. They are honestly still scared, despite everything, but obviously they don’t talk about that to their grandparents, but show themselves strong and confident.  
At one point, as his parents are in the kitchen and his grandparents talk among themselves, she suddenly feels their baby again, moving quite strongly. Strongly enough for it to certainly been seen.  
But she won’t lift her shirt in front of everyone. She hasn’t even let anyone except Beck feel their baby. She will let her mother, her brother and Cat over the next two months, but it’s her body and she won’t just treat her belly like it’s not part of her, like it suddenly belongs to everyone and everyone can look at it and touch it, just because there is a baby in there.  
“Beck,” she now says quietly, taking his hand in hers and pulling him up with her. “I have something to show you.”  
He comes with her without hesitation. She decides to go for the room, he still has in the house. She has been in there already a few times, before he has moved into the RV. It still looks almost the same, except that of course some things are missing as they are in the RV instead. But he still also has a bed here and a cupboard and everything necessary.  
“What’s up?” Beck asks, after he has pulled the door close behind them.  
She lifts her shirt, luckily still feeling the baby move inside of her, still hopefully strong enough. “Look.”  
Beck does look at her belly and it takes a few seconds, until the baby kicks right into the belly from the inside and its foot suddenly is absolutely visible.  
Beck’s eyes widen once again. “Wow. Benjamin. What are you doing?” And he looks up to Jade. “Look. His little foot.”  
Jade has to smile as she sees Beck’s reaction.  
He turns back to the belly, leaning down, lying his hand on the little foot inside her belly, which the baby only very slowly draws back again. “God, baby. You can’t kick your mother like this.”  
It’s almost as if the child is listening. Promptly, it pushes something else into the side of Jade’s belly. Something that could very well be his little tushy.  
Beck also strokes that. “This is incredible.” He looks back up to Jade, suddenly a little worried. “Does it hurt?”  
“Not really,” she honestly says. She thinks herself that it looks like it’s hurting, but her skin obviously stretches easily enough. “It just feels weird. And... you know...” Beautiful in a way. Wonderful. Fascinating.  
Beck smiles. “I know. Wow.”  
“It does hurt, when he kicks something within,” she honestly says. When he kicks like just now, but in pretty much any other direction, kicking her insides. That can hurt.  
“I can imagine,” Beck nods, finally letting go of her belly, so she lowers her shirt again. “Wow. Thank you for showing me.”  
He wraps his arms around her and she wraps hers around his neck. “It’s your baby, too,” she answers, because it is and he should witness as much of it as he can. She can’t keep it for herself, as he’s the father.  
They kiss and that’s the moment, the door opens.  
His mother comes inside. “Is everything okay in here?”  
She doesn’t sound worried. She obviously just doesn’t like them having gone away alone and wants to tell them with that question that she expects them back. Especially if they have just come here to make out, which it must look like.  
“Yes, Mom,” Beck answers annoyed, as Jade breaks apart from their embrace.  
“Then, you can come back with me,” his mother pointedly says and Jade nods: “We will.”  
She takes Beck’s hand in hers, squeezes it to keep him from saying anything rude to his mother. It’s fine. They should go back. She just wanted him to show anyway. And he saw and should keep that happy feeling, instead of being annoyed by his mother and start fighting with her.  
Beck squeezes back, as they follow his mother back to his family.


	10. Friends

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, guys!  
> Here it is: The actual chapter/ one shot about the gang. They also still will show up in other chapters (though I realized, they haven’t often shown up until now) – they will meet Benji for the first time in another chapter. But here are some small situations with all of their friends and with some time jumps. The scene between Cat and Jade somehow is the only scene that isn’t out of any of their friends’ perspective. I’m not sure how that happened, but I liked some of Jade’s thoughts in that scene and didn’t want to write those out afterwards to have it out of Cat’s perspective, so...  
> Anyway... Only two more chapters that almost fully take place during the pregnancy, then we will have the chapter in which Jade will give birth and we’ll see from there.  
> I wish everyone a good read!

All three of their closest friends feel a little helpless. They try to be just there for them by also shutting other people up and covering for Jade, after they have realized that she constantly leaves to cry.  
But they don’t know what else to do. When Jade and Beck break up during the pregnancy and barely exchange a word anymore, all three of them exchange glances and try to be with both of them, so neither has to be alone (Cat staying with Jade, Andre with Beck and Robbie mostly with Beck, but also sometimes with the girls).  
They are luckily back together now and have shown their second sonogram today in front of Jade’s locker – of course in a way, that only their group of friends were able to see, not everyone else as well. It’s impressive how big the child already is, and that they know they will have a little boy. Neither can imagine yet, how it will actually be with a child in the mix. But it’s also still some time. Jade is only nineteen weeks as of now, at the end of October.

 

Andre finds Beck later in an empty hallway, where he wants to use the restroom, because it’s usually just as empty.  
Beck leans against the wall and has a copy of the sonogram in his hand, just looking at it.  
Andre makes sure, noone else is around, before he gently starts talking to Beck. “It’s so weird that that is your child.”  
Beck startles, as he hears his voice, then he looks at him with a smile though: “I know.”  
And yeah, there is something wrong. Andre has thought so as he has seen him there. Now, his smile is definitely fake, which Andre has never seen before with Beck.  
“What’s going on?” he asks, coming to a halt next to his best friend.  
Beck looks at him for a moment, then back to the sonogram without making a sound. Well, okay. Andre would wish to be able to help Beck, but if Beck doesn’t want to talk...  
“You don’t have to talk to me, but know I’m here for you,” he says, wants to make sure, Beck knows that, just in case.  
Beck stays silent for another second, and Andre is about to just clap his shoulder, but then Beck does look up again and says, not weak, but as if he can’t believe himself he’s saying it, almost with a smile, as he puts the picture back away into the pocket of his pants: “I’m scared.”  
“I get it. Who wouldn’t be?” Andre replies. He even gets a little anxious thinking about that child and he isn’t the father.  
“You know...” Beck slowly says. “I tell Jade everything.” Andre hasn’t known that. “I really love her. But I feel so stupid whenever I tell her about this, because I should be strong.” Which, as Andre understands, doesn’t mean Beck doesn’t tell her. He still talks to her about being scared. He just feels stupid doing so.  
Andre doesn’t get why he should be strong though. It’s natural that he’s scared.  
“She is the one pregnant,” Beck explains though. “She’s carrying a child. And I tell her that I am scared.”  
Andre might get where Beck is coming from somehow, but not really. “You can still be scared. Jade understands that, doesn’t she?” She wouldn’t tell him that he’s stupid for being scared and that’s why he thinks so, right? She has to understand.  
“She does,” Beck also quickly says. “But I would just like to be... her rock, you know.”  
Beck shrugs, unsure in a way, in which Andre has never seen him. Though he has seen it shine through over the last two months, every now and then, especially during the break-up. But he hasn’t really seen it, wasn’t able to look Beck in the eye while Beck felt that way.  
“I’m pretty sure you are,” Andre says with a shrug on his own and thinks about the girl he doesn’t know all that well, who has started dating his best friend around the same time, he has become his best friend, just at the beginning of the last school year. “Jade is strong herself. I bet she just needs you to be you. She loves you, too.”  
He may not know her well, but he does know she loves Beck. It’s not like she says it all the time. Andre is pretty sure he has only once heard her outright say it until now. But... Jade wouldn’t settle in any way, she wouldn’t be together with someone to have someone around, she wouldn’t endure someone’s touches if she wouldn’t want them. She wouldn’t get jealous as she does, if she wouldn’t just love Beck out of the depths of her heart. Andre is pretty sure about that.  
Beck also doesn’t seem to doubt her love for him, instead he asks, again with that small smile, as if that would make it easier to say: “What if I can’t be everything she needs me to be?”  
Okay, wow. He is really scared of that. He’s really scared to not be good enough for Jade.  
Andre swallows hard, thinking about Jade and Beck, and he gives the only advice that comes to mind: “Be yourself and be honest. You know Jade better than I do, but I’m sure that’s what she needs. You are good together and you also will be with a child.”  
Beck just looks at him and Andre doesn’t know what to do, or what to say, except that. He does think they are good together. In their own way, they somehow fit, even if noone gets it. And he does think Jade needs him, Beck, just like he is. Especially lately, there has been something in her eye, whenever she has looked at Beck. Not during their break-up, but after them getting back together even more so.  
He slowly adds, though he is afraid himself that he’s totally off and it won’t help Beck at all: “If it means anything, I think you’re a good boyfriend for her. With the little I know about her... She does seem to feel safe around you and with everything going on, feeling safe must be incredibly important to her.”  
“It is,” Beck earnestly says and Andre puts a hand on his shoulder: “Then, you’re doing a good job. You don’t have to be the strong one. You just have to be yourself.”  
For a moment, they just look at each other again, before Beck smiles: “Thanks, Andre. You’re a good friend. I’m sorry, I’m so off.”  
“No, absolutely don’t apologize,” Andre says. “And now I have to get going. Restroom.”  
Beck has to chuckle, which means, Andre successfully resolved the tension, which he’s glad about.  
He just hopes, he’s right about Jade. He doesn’t want to see his best friend as distant, as lifeless, as he has looked during their week of being broken up. He just wants them to stay together and be a happy family.

 

On the same day, Jade visits Cat at home after school. They do homework together and Cat tells Jade pretty much everything she has recently done and thought. Jade likes it from time to time, for some reason likes Cat’s giddiness and happiness, as long as she doesn’t have to be around her too much, like a whole weekend or something. Right now, it feels nice to just have her talk about everything.  
It’s also nice though, when it goes silent after a while and Jade can actually get going with her homework a little further.  
But with Cat, it’s never silent for long, so she now also raises her voice softly after a while: “I’m already so excited for the baby. I hope I will be a good auntie.”  
Jade looks at Cat irritated. Until now, Cat has surprisingly refrained from talking all that much about the baby. She has asked Jade if she feels okay every now and then, but other than that, she hasn’t drawn any attention to the situation. Considering Cat, that is really impressive. If she wouldn’t have asked Jade if she’s okay those few times, Jade would’ve guessed that Cat just forgot all about it, as all over the place as she sometimes is. But she has known and just hasn’t talked about it, which Jade has appreciated. Enough people were talking about it.  
But having been shown the sonogram today...  
“You won’t be the aunt,” Jade says though, because she obviously won’t be. It’s not like they are sisters or anything.  
“Of course, I will be,” Cat easily says though. “Otherwise, he won’t have any.”  
Well, she’s quick to use the right pronoun, having just learnt of the sex this morning. And she’s also right regarding the baby to not have any aunts, as neither Beck nor she have sisters.  
But you also don’t need an aunt. Jade has one and she would be just as happy without one – maybe happier, as her cousin is an idiot and he wouldn’t exist without her aunt.  
She just rolls her eyes though, doesn’t comment.  
Cat hums happily and then says: “I will do my best to be as good of an auntie as you will be a mommy.”  
She will be... as good of an aunt, as Jade will be a mother? Does she imply that she thinks, Jade will be a good mother, that it will be hard to live up to her?  
If there’s one thing, Jade definitely also likes about Cat that she... knows stuff. In a weird way, she understands people. She has always understood Jade, doesn’t take her words as strongly as those of everyone else, because she has known from the beginning on, that Jade just talks that way, that she doesn’t necessarily mean it that way. Jade always had a sensor for people, Cat even more so. At least, Jade sometimes gets that impression; Cat knows her in any case.  
And somehow, she has to ask: “You think I will be a good mother?” Still a question, since the first day, also asked Jasper all those weeks ago. She only now realizes that Jasper isn’t the only person who may know and will tell her the truth about it. Cat could too.  
Cat looks her directly in the eye, smiling so easily: “Of course, you will be.”  
She means it. She really thinks so. Jade swallows, lowers her gaze, finds her belly with her hands. She still doesn’t know if she’ll manage. At times, she’s sure she will do it somehow. At other times, she doubts everything about herself and her life again.  
Instead of letting it slide and just starting to talk about something else, Cat, who knows her so well, explains her statement a little: “You always take good care of me. You will also take good care of your baby.”  
Jade looks at Cat confused. “I have never taken care of you.” If there’s one thing, she doesn’t think she has ever done in her life, it is taking care of anyone.  
“Yes, you have!” Cat protests. “You protect me from the bullies.” Which has happened once, when they have just started at Hollywood Arts, where she has punched a guy who made fun of Cat. Since then, nobody has ever truly made fun of Cat again. “You always talk me down if something goes on with my brother.” Well... She harshly tells her to not make a big deal out of it, that her brother has survived worse, every time something new happens. “You help me.” She doesn’t.  
Even softer, Cat continues: “And you also take care of your brother and of Beck and of everybody you love.” That’s not true. Is it?  
Well, she does watch over everyone she loves, like every normal person would do. She certainly would kill anyone, who would hurt her brother. If another person would touch Cat, she would destroy them. The same goes for Beck or her mother, actually. When she stops and thinks about it, for Andre and Robbie as well by now.  
But that’s not taking care of someone, is it? Even if she would protect them at all costs and yes, might also watch Jasper from time to time for her mother...  
“It’s different,” she says with a shrug.  
Cat doesn’t say anything for a moment, which makes Jade look back up to her. She has tilted her head and watches her and only when their eyes meet again, she earnestly says: “Some people might think I’m stupid, but I do know what a child needs. And I know, your child will get it from you.”  
Jade doesn’t know why, but there are the tears again, appearing in an alarming speed and streaming down her face before she can even think about hiding them.  
She quickly lies her face in her hands. God. She can’t start crying in front of Cat now, too, can she? She has once cried in front of her mother, otherwise only in front of Beck. She doesn’t want Cat to see now, too. But it’s too late for that and she will probably have to endure Cat telling her that it’s fine, her hugging her too tight and saying she’s sorry or something equally stupid.  
Jade doesn’t want any of that. At this very moment, she’s sure she somehow couldn’t even stand a hug by Beck or her mother.  
But Cat also doesn’t hug her. She doesn’t even say a word for a while. And when she does, it’s not what Jade would have expected: “You know... Two years back, when we were in Japan, my brother began to cry while we were in a Shinkansen and...”  
She gets into some story about her brother and Jade is so confused that she stops crying, but soon enough, she has to laugh about the idiocy, Cat’s brother got herself into back then. Her tears are dried before she realizes it.

 

The new year has started, Beck’s sixteenth birthday and their one year anniversary is coming up, Jade is thirty weeks pregnant and is still crying all the time.  
Andre hasn’t actually witnessed it, but he knows. He tries to cover it as well as every one of their friends. When Beck isn’t close, doesn’t see, the others try to think of stories or one of them disappears as well as if they were away to talk with her. When Beck is gone as well, they still pretend like they make out somewhere.  
Andre has only seen Jade rushing out at the end of class until now, though. This time, he’s in the hallways, when he clearly sees Jade walking inside the janitor’s closet. It goes so quickly that he doesn’t think everyone else has really noticed. Nobody else pays attention.  
And he somehow doesn’t even think about it, as he follows her.  
He only realizes that he’s a stupid idiot for it, when he’s inside. Jade stands in the corner, her face in her hands, obviously crying.  
She looks up in shock when he walks in, definitely doesn’t want anyone to see her like this. She usually must make sure in one way or another, that noone comes inside, while she’s here, right?  
Andre totally expects her to throw him out with harsh words, to call him really bad names, to maybe even physically hurt him to assure he doesn’t tell anyone about him finding her like this.  
But instead, as soon as she realizes it’s him, she just puts her face back in her hands, in which also lies a tissue (she has carried small packages of those around with her for some time now), and resumes crying, somehow breaks together even more, her body shaking.  
God. Andre quickly pulls the door shut behind him, just so that noone else will see. Yes, he has known before that she was crying, when she disappeared, but... that that meant this... that Jade looked like this, that she appeared so damn vulnerable during it...  
Suddenly, he gets Beck worrying about having to be the strong one. Though he guesses, Jade still doesn’t need someone strong, someone who isn’t also shaken, but just... someone there. Someone to be with her, no matter if they are also scared or something.  
“Should I get Beck or Cat?” he now gently asks.  
He doesn’t know how to handle this. Beck and Cat would probably know much better, while Robbie would be just as helpless.  
“No,” Jade immediately says, trying to wipe her tears away with her tissue, but somehow, they are still running. “No, Beck’ll just be annoyed.”  
Okay, that’s not true. “He won’t be,” he says. Why should Beck be annoyed?  
“He will,” Jade claims and adds frustrating: “This is annoying. I cry all the time because of nothing and just can’t stop. I don’t know what’s happening to me. It’s awful.”  
She wipes her tears away more roughly, but there are still new ones following.  
“You’re pregnant,” Andre reasons. “It’s fine.” Everyone should be allowed to cry as much as they want, but especially pregnant women.  
“It’s not. It’s exhausting,” Jade says and she does look exhausted.  
But she shouldn’t feel bad about it. She shouldn’t feel like Beck is annoyed about it.  
That’s why he says: “Come on, Jade. You carry a whole other human being inside of you. The whole situation is probably exhausting and grueling. It’s fine to let it out like this. Everyone understands.”  
And if anyone wouldn’t understand, they are idiots.  
“I hate it,” Jade says, hoarsely.  
Andre can imagine. “Well, it won’t go on forever, will it?”  
She isn’t usually like this and her being like this won’t be a permanent condition, will it be? Though she already is like that for a few months now...  
“They say, everything will go back to normal after you stop nursing at the latest,” Jade answers and... well.  
“That would be still quite a few months,” he honestly says. Two months until Jade is due. And who knows, how long she will nurse?  
“No kidding,” she dryly says. “God.” She again roughly rubs her eyes and seems to be finally able to stop the tears from running.  
She doesn’t look happy about the prospect of it still taking so long and Andre gets it. It would be wearing for every person, but especially Jade, who usually probably never cries, must hate this so much. Though...  
“But know that we really all understand and it doesn’t change anything about you.”  
Jade looks at him for a moment, when the bell rings for next class.  
Jade dries her face with another tissue and Andre says with a shrug: “I guess we should get going?”  
She nods and he turns to the door, already has his hand on the handle, only for Jade to say: “Andre.”  
He turns back around and Jade doesn’t look at him directly but says: “Thanks or whatever.”  
Wow. Jade has actually thanked him. Verbally. Wow. This must have meant a lot to her, for some reason. Him not laughing at her, trying to help her, being here for her... Andre never would have guessed that.  
But he won’t harp on about it. He never would. Instead he easily says with a grin: “Sure. Just tell your friends and family to call Andre if in need for a pep talk.”  
That makes Jade snort. “Yeah, right.”  
And with that, they leave, Andre still grinning.  
Everyone is on the way to their classrooms by now, except for Beck, who only seems to be on the way to his locker now. Possibly, he has noticed Jade was gone again and hid out somewhere, to cover for her in a way. Andre can imagine him not searching for Jade, because Jade probably usually makes sure to tell him if she needs him around or if she doesn’t need him around and rather wants to be alone.  
Now, they walk up to him, Andre because he also needs to go to his locker, but Jade joining as well.  
“What did you do?” Beck asks with a furrowed brow, as he finally walks up all the way to his own locker as well.  
Okay, he naturally knows Jade cries a lot, but as he sees Andre with her... Andre also would’ve never guessed for him to survive after finding Jade like that, would’ve never thought she would accept him around. (But that probably also shows how exhausted she is by now. And that she trusts him at least a little.) That’s why he assumes they must have done something else.  
And he remembers so clearly, how she said that Beck probably would be annoyed. He bets, Beck wouldn’t be, but that doesn’t mean they have to tell him.  
So, he quickly says: “Oh, I just asked her what she thinks about my new song.”  
“In the janitor’s closet?” Beck asks sceptical.  
Okay, yes, he has just seen them coming out of there.  
Andre thinks quick, as he answers: “Well... I had to sing it for her and you know how Tom stole the main theme of one of my unfinished songs two weeks ago, so...”  
Beck doesn’t believe him one bit but looks at him confused. Andre rather thinks that’s a good excuse. It’s true that a classmate just stole some of his song.  
Finally, Jade raises her voice, gently and looking at Beck intently: “Maybe, I’ll tell you later.”  
Beck turns to her and his face softens.  
She kisses him, before she whispers: “Say you love me.”  
“I love you,” he immediately says and they share another kiss, before Beck and Andre finally get to their lockers and then, all three of them hurry to their shared next class.

 

It’s still before Beck’s birthday that Robbie visits him one evening in his RV. Without Rex, as he has to carry a quite heavy and big box as well. He doesn’t like going anywhere without Rex, but... well.  
“Hey, Beck,” he says as the other boy opens the door.  
“Hey,” Beck answers, smiling but slightly confused. Robbie hasn’t told him he would come over. “What’s going on?”  
Robbie takes a step toward him, which makes Beck move aside, so Robbie can get inside. Jade isn’t there – it’s also a school night and they still don’t sleep over all that often, unlike when they will have their child –, and Robbie directly walks to the small table in the RV and drops his box there.  
While Beck closes the door behind him and follows him back inside, he explains: “I have sorted through my childhood things. I thought, maybe you and Jade need some of them.”  
“Oh,” Beck says and steps next to Robbie, looking inside the box. As he takes the first two toys in his hands, he looks at Robbie with a genuine smile: “That’s nice. Thanks.”  
“There are also a few things in it from my sister,” Robbie explains. “She wanted to help out, too.” She has found Robbie sorting through his old things in the attic and has immediately joined him after he has told her that he wanted to give Jade and Beck some things for their baby.  
“That’s really great,” Beck says, as he takes out more and more of the things and looks at them.  
Robbie hopes so. He really hopes Beck and Jade can use some of those things. He knows, they already have bought some stuff. He also sees some here in the RV, but nothing too big yet, a nightlight instead and some small toys.  
But they will need everything. Maybe, their parents kept a few things, but...  
“It must be tough, moneywise,” he says, especially as they then need diapers and everything for the baby, which will be pretty expensive. Even with their parents paying...  
Beck looks back up from the box again and actually nods: “It is. We both don’t like taking this much money from our parents, but what can you do?”  
Robbie can imagine neither Beck nor Jade to be happy to have their parents pay everything, which is one of the reasons he has brought his stuff over. If they take some of it, they don’t have to buy as much new.  
Though, he has to say: “I don’t think they mind. I have met your parents and they would give up everything for you.”  
His parents love him so much and so obviously.  
“That doesn’t make it easier,” Beck says and Robbie answers: “I know. But just always remember that they love you.” Which means, they are happy if they can help, just like... “And we do, too.” Him, Rex, Andre and Cat. “It’s a tough situation and everyone has to cut back a little. But the more people you let help out, the less each one will have to cut back.”  
Beck looks at him for another moment. It’s almost as if he has never thought about it that way, though it’s so obvious and they all are more than willing to help. Andre, Cat, Rex and him, Robbie. Their parents. And Robbie has the impression, Lane and Sikowitz are willing to help as well – he has once seen Jade running inside Lane’s office when she looked like she would cry.  
“Thank you,” Beck finally says. “It’s good to know that you’re there for us.”  
Robbie smiles: “Of course. We are friends, right?” Him and Beck, not just Rex and Beck.  
“We are,” Beck immediately agrees. “You are a great guy, Robbie. And I would like to keep a few of these things. But ask back for them if you would like to keep them after all.”  
Robbie never asks back for them. Instead, over time, he gives the new little family more and more of his childhood things, even the more precious ones. These friendships, this little child, is just more important than all his memories, though every one of his toys symbolizes an easier time for him. It’s not easy nowadays. But it’s better. With his friends and everything. And they just need the toys more than he needs some distant memories.

 

Benjamin is eleven weeks old, and Beck and Jade have been broken up for a bit over two weeks.  
Their friends barely know how to handle it this time. Especially as they feel and see that both Beck and Jade still love each other. But for some reason, the mood between them has just changed and suddenly, there was the day, where they didn’t speak a word to each other anymore and just handed over Benjamin, barely looking at each other.  
They do talk again by now. Mostly. Sometimes, they also get irritated at each other again over nothing, start fighting again and stop speaking to each other for another day.  
Robbie is supposed to bring Lane some papers from his English teacher. Lane also does evaluations and everything and needs them for that. The teacher has asked Robbie to bring the papers and he takes Rex with him as he does. It’s during class, but apparently, Lane needs them quickly now. Robbie doesn’t know why he didn’t just get them himself.  
Robbie is bickering with Rex, which is why he doesn’t notice the sign on the door, claiming Lane is in a private meeting (which he always hangs up when he talks to a student – and when Jade actually is alone in the room and has sent him out, just to make sure, noone will disturb her). He just walks right in and finds Jade sitting on the couch, not wearing the usual baby sling, but rocking Benjamin in her arms, looking totally unnerved, though Benjamin isn’t even crying. He’s whining a little, but Jade looks like he has screamed for a few hours without pause. (Which he can’t have; Robbie would’ve heard.)  
“What do you want here?” Jade asks Robbie darkly, as she notices him.  
He shrieks a little. She has this look... “Just bringing papers.”  
Jade makes an annoyed sound, before she turns back to Benjamin. Who’s still whining but suddenly, Robbie thinks, that’s just because Jade is obviously unnerved. Maybe, it won’t take much longer for Benjamin to fully scream, when Jade is in a mood like that.  
And Robbie remembers, how his own parents sometimes just were exhausted of taking care of his little sister. Sometimes, even after a small amount of time. But whenever both of them were there, they easily changed parts then, the other one taking her.  
He realizes that Beck and Jade also did that for four weeks, since Jade has been back in school, before they have broken up though. It was more difficult the week before their break-up, but they still were able to give Benjamin to the other one, if it became too much.  
Since they are broken up, their plan of who takes their child, is much stricter. Robbie isn’t sure if they have ever talked it through or if they just both know, which teachers accept Benjamin around more, what’s the longest time one of them can go without Benjamin around etc. Robbie never even has seen them discuss much in their shared classes about who takes care of Benjamin primarily – though it changes per class.  
Either way... they do have some sort of plan now, they do have times where they take him, and Robbie is sure, Jade wouldn’t divert from that plan, wouldn’t have Beck have Benjamin more, not with bad thoughts, but because it’s her baby too, and she wants to have him too, and because, possibly, she doesn’t want to appear as a bad mother, taking care of him less than his father.  
But Robbie knows, she already had him for last class as well, now for this, and for some reason she seems done. She already has looked quite unnerved during the last break, but nobody has said anything. They don’t want her to think they believe she can’t take care of her child – she can and she’s good at it. She is a lovely mother, though Robbie also wouldn’t have believed it exactly like this before.  
But... Maybe, she needs a few minutes now. Which is, why he suggests: “Uhm... How about I take Benjamin for a moment, so you can have some time off?”  
Jade glares at him, as if offended by the suggestion, then she says: “Beck’ll have him for next class anyway. This is my time with my son.”  
And she feels like she should use it, should enjoy it, even though she isn’t enjoying it this very moment.  
Robbie exchanges a glance with Rex, before he slowly comes closer, leaving the papers on the desk. “Sometimes, it doesn’t work like a clock. When you were together, you could make exceptions, if you felt it’s too much.” She could’ve given their child to Beck the break before or even could’ve called Beck out of class now to give him to him. “Don’t pressure yourself now.”  
Okay, Jade might kill him for that. You don’t tell her what to do or what not to do.  
But instead, Jade looks at him for a moment and maybe, there are tears. Robbie swallows hard, as Jade looks further to Benjamin, before she suddenly stands up. “Can you just stay here with him for ten minutes?”  
Robbie should get back to class, but he doesn’t care, even if that means he will get detention. He drops Rex quickly on the chair, not even making sure he sits upright, as he walks up to Jade fully. “Of course,” he says, offering his arms.  
Jade looks at Benjamin for another moment, then she gently lies him into his arms, trusting him with the most precious thing in her life, before she leaves the room.  
Robbie sits down with the little baby in his arms.  
“Sh. It’s okay. Your mama will be back soon,” Robbie tells him and he quickly stops whining, calming down completely.

Jade comes back about five minutes later and Robbie is immediately up his feet again and hands Benjamin back to her. She seems much calmer again somhow, even after just those five minutes. She obviously really needed that break, even just that short one.  
They don’t say a word for a second, Jade looking into her son’s face, then, she begins: “You know...”  
And she might hesitate, but Robbie knows she is about to thank him. And she so doesn’t need to. He knows that’s tough for her. She doesn’t see the point in saying it and doesn’t like it for some reason. As if it hurts her pride or something.  
He doesn’t need her to say it now, so he interrupts, saying earnestly: “You can really always tell us if you need anything at all.” Without even having to thank them afterwards, if that’s just not hers.  
Jade looks at him for another moment and he’s sure she understands, then she says: “I guess we should both get back to class. Which teacher are you having at the moment?”  
“Whitman,” he answers and she looks annoyed again – she doesn’t like that teacher at all: “Ugh. Well... Tell her you lend me hand with Benjamin anyway, if she asks why you were gone for so long.” So, he won’t get detention for it, because all the teachers are told to let mostly anything slide if it’s about the child.  
Robbie wouldn’t have cared anyway. He’s just glad he truly was able to help Jade out.

 

Beck and Jade get back together before finals. Benjamin is thirteen weeks old, as they write their exams. Beck’s father has him, when neither Beck nor Jade have time. He stays close to the school or just stays inside the building the whole time through.  
Their group of friends have agreed to meet up at the parking lot after their last exam and go eat together. The others are still writing, when Cat bounces outside to find Beck and Benjamin. Beck’s father is already gone, while Beck carries the little boy.  
Usually, Cat would greet Benjamin happily and directly start talking to him, but... Beck doesn’t look like he has just finished his Sophomore year, like he’s relieved to finally be done with the exams. He should be. It’s great that it’s over and that break is about to start.  
So, when she is with the two of them, she directly asks: “Why aren’t you happy? Finals are finally over.”  
Beck seems cofused at that sudden question. “I’m fine,” he answers.  
“You are not,” Cat says though. He can’t claim he is when he isn’t. “What’s wrong?”  
Beck hesitates a moment. Sometimes, he and Jade can be so similiar. They both don’t like just talking about their feelings.  
But slowly he says now: “My dad just asked me how I did and... I don’t think I did as good as I should have.”  
That’s weird. Beck is a good student. “I bet you did fine.”  
Beck also doesn’t seem to doubt that, he doesn’t think he failed his exams. Instead: “But fine isn’t good enough anymore. I should’ve put in more work after all.”  
Cat doesn’t get at all what he’s talking about, until he looks into his arms to little Benjamin, and Cat follows that look. Oh. Because of him, because he is a father now. But that’s not right.  
“There are more important things for Benji than you being good in school.” Everything else is more important than that, isn’t it? Like him loving his son, being there for him, supporting him.  
“He will look up to me,” Beck says though, still looking into his son’s face, and quietly, he continues: “Sometimes, I even wish he would’ve been a girl. Jade is doing fantastic and works hard to achieve her dreams. She is setting a good example.”  
Cat doesn’t know that Jade working so hard on her school was in a way one of the reasons for them to break up and that that now makes Beck feel even more guilty, now that he has underperformed himself in his own eyes.  
Anyway... “Firstable, no matter the sex, your child will look up to both you and Jade. And you are a good example for him. You are a good person.”  
They both are. Cat knows, they are wonderful parents. She knew before that they would be. Benjamin loves them and forver will.  
And Beck sounds defeated as he says, still only looking at Benjamin: “I’m nothing.”  
And that’s just weird to hear. Obviously, he’s not nothing. Cat says: “That’s ridiculous. Nobody can be nothing. You’re kind and patient and nice, you always help everyone, you keep calm, even if there’s a crisis. You are still strong-minded; you are grounded and still have dreams. You are loyal and a good friend. And that’s just a few things you are.”  
Beck has looked up and smiles by now. “Thanks, Cat.”  
He means it. Her words have cheered him up a little. But Cat doesn’t know if he has understood what a great person he really is. She herself doesn’t know why he is exactly that. But she knows how she knows he is.  
And she knows that he will understand that point: “You know how I personally know you are a great person?”  
“How?” Beck asks, interested.  
“Because otherwise, Jade couldn’t love you,” Cat softly says and Beck’s smile gets even warmer and just more real, as he says: “That’s true. I can’t be too bad, huh?”  
“You aren’t,” Cat says and can’t help but hug him, especially with that baby in his arms as well.  
She only breaks apart from him, when she hears a sharp voice: “What’s going on here?” That’s Jade, who’s finally joining them with Robbie and Andre.  
“Nothing, babe,” Beck assures her, before they share a short kiss.

 

It’s the fifth of September, a Tuesday, and Benjamin is almost half a year old – and everyone calls him ‘Benji’.  
Beck and Jade were in the park with him and are back in the RV by now, when there is a knock. It’s Cat, Andre, Robbie and Rex, who stand in front of the door.  
“Hey, guys,” Beck says, confused at all their friends standing there. He’s pretty sure they haven’t agreed on meeting up today.  
“Hey,” Cat happily answers and Andre asks: “Can we come in?”  
They barely meet all at Beck’s as it’s too crowded in the RV with everyone for Beck’s and Jade’s taste. But, of course, if they are all here...  
Beck lets them inside. Jade sits on the couch, Benji lying next to her. She has heard their voices, so she isn’t surprised at them coming inside; she still raises her eyebrows.  
“We have a surprise for you!” Cat says, before Beck can even think about offering them any place to sit.  
Instead of asking what it is, Jade of course asks, directly irritated: “Why?”  
“You know what day it is?” Cat asks excited.  
Andre and Robbie share a grin, while Jade and Beck looks at each other confused. “Tuesday?” Jade dryly suggests.  
For a moment, Cat definitely wants to make them guess more, but she can’t hold it in for much longer, so she already bursts out: “It’s the second anniversary of your first date!”  
It is. Beck and Jade know that. They haven’t known that their friends knew about it. Jade wonders what it is any of their business when they started dating.  
“We know,” Beck says, also still confused more than anything.  
“And we give you something for it,” Cat says, still excited, but Beck and Jade don’t get it.  
Andre now also cuts in: “We actually just use the occasion to make you this little gift.”  
Beck and Jade share another confused glance, as Robbie speaks up: “We realized you don’t get away too much. Yeah, you were in Canada over the break, but you other than that you don’t really get out.”  
“That’s why we invite you on a trip!” Cat bursts out, happily.  
Beck and Jade still don’t get it and Andre continues: “My aunt has this house in San Diego and has allowed me to stay there for the weekend. And bring all of your guys.”  
“Including little Benji!” Cat says, finally droping down on the couch, next to Benji and tickling him, while he’s still turned into Jade’s direction.  
Jade still looks sceptical at their friends, while Beck’s face now shows surprise, and then he says: “Well, I’m not sure our parents will be okay with it.”  
Not that they have to ask where to take Benji, but they have to ask for themselves when they want to go somewhere for more than a few hours, even just a night, let alone a weekend.  
Robbie smiles though: “We already asked your parents. And ours, for that matter. Everyone likes the idea. Your parents also think you should get out.”  
They talked to their parents? Really?  
Beck and Jade share another glance and Jade has to ask once again: “Why though?” She of course doesn’t want to know why their parents also think they should get out, but why their friends have apparently organized all this.  
Cat answers, as if it’s obvious: “It’s a present for the two of you for your second first-date-anniversary. And for this cutie for his half-birthday.”  
She tickles Benji again.  
Andre grins: “Don’t expect something from us every year now, though. But yeah, we thought, it’s a good occasion and as I can have the house this weekend... Then, you can get away a little, without your family and everything. And if you want some time alone, get into town by yourselves, you can easily leave Benji with us and we can look after him.”  
Beck and Jade keep looking at each other and finally, Beck says: “Well, I’m not sure we’ll take you up on that last part, but I think we would love that trip to San Diego. This is amazing, guys. Thanks!”

They will take them up on the babysitting as well. All three go beyond themselves to give them time off while still having Benji close. (Though at night, Benji strictly stays with Beck and Jade, even in their very own room together.)  
After they have watched Jade change Benji one time at the beginning, Andre quickly says he can do it, when Benji cries again to be changed, and orders Robbie to help him. Cat also joins them, while Beck and Jade lean back into the couch and into each other, sharing a look, then a smile, then a kiss.  
It’s amazing how they have found friends like this so early in their lives. Friends that will forver be there for them, forever to be trusted.


	11. Sleeping over and Money

It’s a week before her sixteenth birthday. She is twentythird weeks pregnant and their parents have agreed to meet again to talk more about how they will go about this.  
This time, his parents come over. She would have bet for her own father to not show up, but he does come after all, though she knows her mother also hasn’t talked him into coming. She and her mother both know that her father won’t be too involved in this, so neither insisted, but he’s there anyway and Jade knows that means something – after he hasn’t even been to one of her plays or anything, after she always has to visit him and he usually isn’t coming anywhere for her. Though he also has appeared at the Olivers’ home after her mother’s initial call, before he even knew what was up. And the week after that as well when Jade and Beck told everyone they were going to keep this child. Apparently, he is interested after all. He also asked her how it went after her second ultrasound.  
Her brother was supposed to be with his father or friends again today, but his father hadn’t had the time and his best friend has become sick this morning, so he’s home.  
“This is Jasper,” their mother introduces him to the Olivers.  
Jasper shakes both their hands and also tells Beck hi with a smile (he does like him very much), before his mother tells him: “You should go up to your room.”  
“Can’t I stay?” Jasper asks, but his mother shakes her head: “You know you can’t.”  
He looks like he wants to protest. He of course knows what this is about. But both their families now talk about this... then he should be there, too. He is part of Jade’s family. Her child will live in this house as well.  
But as he looks to Jade, where he mostly finds support, she also shakes her head and says: “Go. I can tell you everything later.”  
“Fine,” he says grumpily, before he leaves.  
Jade’s mother invites the Olivers to sit down.  
“So...” she starts the conversation. “We’ll all be grandparents in four months.”  
Jade has never conciously thought that word in reference to her parents. God, they will be grandparents. Which is crazy, as especially her mother is still pretty young herself. She has had her with 21, so is now only 37 years old. And she will be a grandmother? Her father is a few years older, Beck’s parents as well. Though they of course still will be young grandparents, only in their early fourties.  
“Can you believe it?” Mr. Oliver says and his wife shakes her head: “I can’t.”  
Jade and Beck share a short look, somewhat guilty.

“Have you bought anything yet?” Beck’s mother asks after they have all taken a sip of the drinks Ms. Anderson has provided. She obviously isn’t talking to Beck and Jade there.  
“No,” Ms. Anderson answers. “I thought we should talk about everything first, like also where the child will stay and what we need, what’s necessary in all our eyes, so we know how to split the costs.”  
His father nods slightly. “The child should probably stay with its mother at night at first. But some day, it will probably be able to stay with Beck. We still have his old crib, so we wouldn’t necessarily have to buy a new one for our home.”  
Beck is confused and can understand Jade’s question very well: “What does it mean if you say it should stay with me at first?”  
Beck’s mother reacts in a sharp tone: “Well, Beck is the father.” Okay, does she believe that Jade wants the baby to just stay with her? Not only ‘at first’, but forever? That’s so not the point.  
“No, she means that obviously we both will stay with the child at night at all times,” he clarifies.  
He doesn’t even have to look at her to know that that’s what she meant. They haven’t specifically talked about it, but obviously they will spend all their nights together, as soon as they have a baby together. They will both take care of it every night. Why should the baby stay with just one of them if they are both its parents?  
“You won’t,” his mother says, without hesitation.  
“What?” he asks confused. What’s going on?  
“You really won’t,” Ms. Anderson agrees and... how can they have the same opinion without having been able to even talk about it? What is he missing here?  
“What are you guys talking about?” he asks after a confused glance with Jade. She also doesn’t get it.  
His mother points out: “We will see how it’ll work with the baby, but you won’t sleep in the same room again, as soon as the baby is born. Ever.”  
God. Because they think he could make her pregnant again? That they would be that stupid again?  
Ms. Anderson obviously is the same opinion, explaining: “And we don’t have an extra room for you here, Beck.” So he can’t stay over at all anymore, because they don’t want Jade and him to ever sleep in the same room again.  
“We might have an extra room,” his mother says. “But we won’t stay awake to make sure that each of you stay in their own room.”  
Okay, this is ridiculous. They didn’t even conceive this child at night. They did it in clear daylight. They wouldn’t need to sleep over to make this mistake again – which they never will.  
It irritates him that they think that not allowing them to sleep over anymore would prevent anything.  
“We both want to be with our child,” he makes sure to say and actually is about to say when they had sex to make this baby, wants to angrily tell them that their behaviour is stupid.  
He’s glad when Jade keeps him from doing so, by speaking up herself, dryly: “You know... You can lecture us all you want and prohibit us from being alone with each other for the rest of our lives, but I truly think you don’t have to teach us this lesson anymore. We’ve learned it.”  
She lies her hands on her belly for proof and... Beck does expect at least his mother to sort of explode, to tell her that she’s being inappropriate or something.  
Instead, his mother smiles, his father and her mother have to chuckle and even Mr. West smirks slightly. It’s extremely weird. Beck has never seen any of them smile at all when the topic of this pregnancy came up in any way. His parents always were so serious over the last few months, whenever they talked more about it. But suddenly, they are smiling. Suddenly, from one moment to the other, some of the tension is gone that surrounds this topic all the time.  
He looks to Jade, who also seems confused. She says stuff like that all the time, but never gets a reaction like that from her own parents, but especially from Beck’s. She still can’t keep herself from saying stuff like that. And while usually, only Beck seems to like it, this time, everyone else for some reason does, too. Apparently, everyone has needed for someone to ease the tension, and Jade’s comment has done that in a way.  
His father finally says, sounding amused: “She kind of has point there.” Because all of them do have to know that they’ve really learned this lesson. They must remember how each of them were horrified themselves when they told them about the pregnancy.  
Her mother nods: “Yes, I know. Beck is, too. In the sense that they should both be able to spend the night with their child. So, I guess we have to learn to trust them to not do this again.”  
His mother turns to him and Jade: “So, you want to sleep over even more?” If they both want to spend each night with their child...  
“Yes, of course,” he says, though, again, Jade and he haven’t talked about it. When he glances to her, she nods though, obviously agreeing.  
His parents also share a glance, also agreeing on something, before his mother clearly says: “We won’t let you move out, Beck. The RV is far enough. You won’t stay here every night.”  
Beck looks to Jade again, who doesn’t look back, but instead watches her mother. Beck follows her eyes with his own and sees Ms. Anderson looking unsure. God. Is she afraid now that that means Jade will eventually move out and in with Beck, that Jade will leave her home altogether with sixteen?  
But Jade shrugs and suggests, definitely has noticed her mother’s worries as well if Beck has read the woman right and she has them: “Can’t we use both our homes? Like... Spend some nights here and some over at your place?” She directs that at Beck’s parents, who again look at each other.  
Then, they look further to Jade’s mother – her father obviously not in the run of having them sleep over at his place as well.  
“That would be an option,” his mother finally says. That sounds promising.  
Ms. Anderson thoughtfully says: “We would need many things twice, from the very beginning on then. We should each have a real crib then, not just a portacrib. We need everything to change, twice, and we would probably need way more clothes for the child, if you don’t want to move those around as well all the time. Eventually, we would need two highchairs, but I guess we would need those either way.”  
Everyone nods. Beck gets the problem. He can imagine especially a crib as expensive. Though if his parents kept his old one (and he does know it’s still in the basement)... They probably also kept some other stuff.  
His father now also says: “Well, we can manage that. And if they also would be at our place some time, the costs for food and everything would split more evenly.”  
“Though we will still pay alimony, at least in the beginning, when they will most likely be here more often,” his mother makes sure to say.  
So, they get that at the beginning, they will probably be here more. Beck can also imagine that. Jade has to give birth and should be somewhere afterwards where she feels most safe. And she loves his RV, but if she could be there with just him, or here in her home with her mother also close... in a situation like that... she will probably prefer her own home. He gets it. And is glad that his parents get it too, especially after that custody thing.  
For a moment, it’s silent, then Ms. Anderson says: “I guess we just have to see how it’ll work. God. They will need a car as soon as possible. To make sure they can go everywhere. Does Beck already have his provisional permit?”  
“He has,” his father confirms and Ms. Anderson replies: “Good. Jade is also on it and will get her license right after her birthday.”  
Beck knows that Jade has been especially into it since she knows about the pregnancy. Well... not at first, but after their parents have told them they would support them. Her mother also has insisted on more driving training since then, has let her drive way more often. Jade has told him that her mother deems it as extremely important to be mobile with a baby, which is why it’s important to her as well.  
Beck’s parents haven’t talked to him about it yet, possibly also haven’t thought about it before, but they definitely agree with Ms. Anderson now.  
“That’s good,” his mother says. “We will have to make sure they will be allowed to drive around with the baby and not only when they are eighteen or something. And you will move back into the house.”  
Of course, she directs that last part at Beck, who is totally confused once again: “What?”  
His mother has probably wanted to tell him to move back in all along, has never wanted him to move out in the first place, and now takes the reason she has been given: “You don’t plan on sleeping in the RV, all three of you?”  
He shares a look with Jade, who luckily doesn’t look opposed to that. He also doesn’t necessarily see the problem.  
“We will,” he therefore says. “The RV is as good as my room.” Why should it make a difference if they sleep in his childhood room or the RV?  
“The child could have a whole own room in the house,” his mother says and... okay, that would make a difference.  
Though... “It doesn’t need it, does it? Not as a baby. When it’s older, sure, but... we probably also will move out some day.”  
Though he can’t even imagine that day now. But they are talking about a lot of things he can’t quite imagine yet. Like having this baby at all, which still seems a little surreal. Just to imagine there will be a new human being soon...  
Her mother looks at him for a moment, before she decides: “We will keep talking about this at home.”  
Which is fine for him, so he nods.  
Ms. Anderson meanwhile asks: “But we agree to kind of make two homes for the child?”  
“I think so,” Beck’s father says and after a moment of thought, he changes the topic: “Any more thoughts about school?”

Jade clearly sees her father narrowing his eyes at her. That’s something he’s interested in. He hasn’t asked about it anymore since their last fight. He has only asked about her doctor’s appointments, not about school or work or anything, not in regards of the child coming. He of course still has asked for the grades of the tests they have recently written (where she hasn’t been as good as usual – she has to get back on track, but this baby-thing is really distracting at the moment).  
Her mother now answers: “We should let Jade have some time home, help her out, so she can learn while being home, and then have her go back as soon as she can. At least for finals in Sophomore year.”  
“One of us probably could take the week off to watch the child when they both write their exams,” Mrs. Oliver says. Jade doesn’t know if she only means her husband and herself with that or also Jade’s parents.  
Either way, her mother says: “We should keep that in mind. Maybe, we can see that as soon as the child is there?” So, they know how Jade and Beck will manage, if Jade can be apart from the child at that point etc.  
“We should,” Mrs. Oliver nods.  
And finally, Jade’s father actually asks something: “What about their Junior year?”  
“I’m not sure,” her mother answers and for a moment, everyone looks at Jade and Beck.  
They exchange a look. They have talked about that only a little bit. She always thinks like she has to plan the rest of her Sophomore year more. That’s important at the moment. She can’t imagine her Junior year yet and she knows, Beck also can’t.  
His father finally slowly says: “We honestly would like the baby not to go into daycare. We wanted to take care of Beck on our own for the first three years, as those are the most formative, and we did it and are still happy with that decision.”  
Okay, Jade can’t help but exchange a glance with her mother at that point. They somehow both remember their conversation from weeks and weeks back, when Jade thought about getting a job and her mother clearly told her not to. How Jade mentioned back then that she isn’t pregnant because her mother never took care of her – after all, Beck’s parents took care of him around the clock and he still is the one who is the father of the child. Both have to think about that now and it’s almost as if they both have to laugh about it now, about how his father now even mentions how important it is to take care of your child on your own.  
Jade barely has those moments with her mother. Now, they both quickly look away again, to not actually start laughing.  
Jade has to smirk though, while her mother successfully hides her smile and points out: “They still do have to go to school.”  
“Definitely,” Mrs. Oliver says. “I also don’t think it has to be three years. But I like the thought of having the child with its family for at least the first two years.”  
“Well, I like it, too,” Jade’s mother says. “But Beck and Jade won’t necessarily be able to do it. Though you do talk about family. We also kept Jade within the family for the first two years, which were her grandparents mostly as both of us had to work.”  
Jade knows that she wasn’t only kept within the family, because her mother liked it best, but because a good daycare just was too expensive.  
Now, is her child supposed to stay with its grandparents as well? How? All four of them still work.  
And Jade knows its great-grandparents won’t help out on a daily basis. Beck’s grandparents don’t even live close enough and Jade can imagine how happy her grandparents would be if she would even get the idea of asking them to take care of her child every day. Her mother’s parents already think they have done their share with Jade anyway, which is why they don’t take Jasper all that much; and she wouldn’t trust her father’s parents with her child after she has been left alone there a lot. So, even if her grandparents ever would come around to her having a child... they won’t take care of it or she doesn’t want them to.  
Mrs. Oliver says: “We talked and... Maybe, one of us could give up their job to take care of the child.”  
Jade looks to Beck. Well, he seems startled. Obviously, his parents haven’t talked to him about it yet, just among each other.  
Beck now also clearly says: “You don’t have to stop working.” He doesn’t want them to give up on anything. Jade also doesn’t want that.  
Mr. Oliver reasons: “We would have to lower our living standards, but... it also would cost a lot to pay for a good daycare.”  
“That’s true,” Jade’s mother agrees.  
And this is terrible. Jade also knows that Beck’s parents both like to work, both like their jobs and also have done a lot to be successful in them. One of them having to give up on that because of her and Beck’s mistake?  
“Can’t we try taking it to school with us?” She might not like the thought, but... that would be better than anyone having to give up on anything, right? And Beck and she would actually take care of the child, like they should.  
“Would you want that?” her mother asks gently.  
She shares a look with Beck. They haven’t decided yet, what they want. They have talked about the possibilty.  
Now, she answers: “I think we should try. If it’s crying all the time, we obviously can’t do it, but... Eikner says he’s willing to be flexible about any arrangement. So, why not first try, and we can still think of a different solution if we have to? Maybe, Beck or I will have to take a year off after all.”  
Her father immediately says: “You won’t take a year off.”  
Annoyed, she answers: “That doesn’t mean I would drop out.” It’s not like she likes that option. But Beck and she should take as much responsibility as they can for this. Before one of their parents would give up their job, they should push back their graduation, right?  
“I agree with her,” Beck says, looking at his own parents, obviously trying to ignore her father. “We should try.”  
“Okay,” his father says and her mother makes sure: “If there’s ever anything wrong, you have to tell us though.”  
Her mother knows she’s as secretive about her feelings as she is open about her opinion. It won’t be easy for her to tell if it’s too much for her or something.  
But she knows, she has to be open about all of this. As much as possible. “We will,” she therefore confirms.  
Mrs. Oliver turns to Jade’s mother again: “We can also call each other whenever we feel it necessary, yes?”  
“Absolutely,” Jade’s mother agrees and then, slowly: “I thought about it anyway... Maybe, we could change to first name basis. We will probably hear from each other a lot and will be a family of sorts.”  
God, they will be family. Beck’s and her parents will be family. Beck’s parents and she will be family. Beck and she will be family. Okay, that last part doesn’t sound weird or even scary, but somehow comforting.  
Beck’s parents share a look, before his mother nods: “Yes, I think that makes sense.”  
“Of course, you will also call me Caitlyn from now on,” Jade’s mother tells Beck.  
“You can also call us by our first names then”, Beck’s father says to Jade. Okay, Jade might find that awkward. But well... Nathaniel and Leah it is, then.  
Jade’s father doesn’t say anything, but Jade knows she will tell Beck to also just call him Christopher, if the need ever arises. She won’t let her father make an exception here, even if it might all seem a little forced, even if it in fact is a little forced. The next time, they visit her father together, Stephanie is also there though and makes sure to tell Beck that he can absolutely call both of them by their first names. That Jade’s father has told her about that agreement and that she thinks it’s great.  
“Is there anything you need to talk about?” Leah now asks Beck and Jade.  
They share another look. Beck shrugs and answers: “Not at the moment.”  
Jade also hasn’t got anything at the time, so...  
“Okay,” her mother says. “I guess that’s it already. We will most likely see each other after the birth at the latest. Possibly earlier.”  
“And probably talk before that,” Leah makes sure and Jade’s mother nods.

Her father stays, while Beck and his parents leave.  
“Have you already got a car for her?” her father asks, while her mother starts to clean up.  
“No, I don’t,” she says. Jade knows that that also isn’t easy. She will possibly take some of the money for Jade for college at first to enable her to have a car, and then fill that money back up over time. Though she also would like for her and Beck’s parents to just be able to split the costs about the car, too. Naturally, they both would like to have one on their own, but Jade is also willing to share one with Beck, always the person having it, who has the child with them, if they aren’t together.  
Her father now easily states though: “Her birthday is coming up. I will give it to her.”  
Jade blinks, her mother does, too. What? Her father will get her a car? Yeah, right. He never has given her a somewhat big gift. Of course, she has gotten presents, but never too expensive ones, which made sense as he never even payed enough child support. He just doesn’t have the money with either job he has worked, and his own life going on, his own apartment and car, and putting a little money away for Jade for college.  
But now, he suddenly is willing to pay for a car for her? To give it to her for her sixteenth birthday?  
Her father explains to her: “You will need a car if you have a child, so I’ll give it to you. As I only want you to have it for emergencies, I won’t help you with the upkeep.”  
Which is fine. The car itself would be a lot more than he has ever really given her.  
But now, he even turns to Jade’s mother and continues: “I will pay more alimony for her though.”  
“That would be appreciated,” her mother says. Jade is very glad that she doesn’t thank him or anything. He should pay more child support, so it’s not like he’s doing them a favor now – he’s doing something, he should have done since forever.  
“You will come over next week?” he now asks Jade and she nods: “On Friday.” Two days before her birthday.  
He nods as well, and then he leaves. Jade and her mother share a surprised look and that’s also the second, Jasper comes down the stairs: “Is everyone finally gone?”

 

Beck gets called by Jade only shortly after. He’s back in his RV by now. He has made clear to his parents that he also will stay in the RV, that he won’t move back into the house. Not for now. “I might change my mind when the child is there,” he reasons.  
Jade tells him about her father offering her a car as a present. He is slightly impressed, but not too much. It was time for him to step up for his daughter. He knows he will do much better by his own child, that Jade already carries.  
Later, he goes back inside the house for dinner, and it’s there that his mother suddenly asks: “So, what’s with Jade’s father?”  
“What’s with him?” Beck returns casually. He doesn’t know what his mother expects him to say. His father appears to know; they must have talked about asking him about the cold man.  
“Does he take care of her?” his mother wants to know.  
In Beck’s opinion, he doesn’t, but Jade always says there are much worse fathers out there. At least, her father wants to see her and everything. Which doesn’t make her father any better, but... well...  
He shrugs: “Kind of.”  
“Kind of?” his father questions.  
And honestly, they have to know: “I don’t think she would like me to talk about her family with you.” They should understand that, right?  
His mother doesn’t seem even a little bit satisfied with that answer, instead a little angry: “We just need to know how their financial situation is.” How her mother’s financial situation is, who will help out Jade most.  
“You don’t,” Beck says though. “Jade’s mother will manage.” Because she always has. Beck knows it’s the one thing, Jade actually admires about her mother, even if she has never told her so.  
“You do realize that this is about your child, right?” his mother asks, now definitely angry. “We don’t want her not be able to make ends meet because of your child, while we travel the world or something.”  
Okay. Beck gets that. If they split the costs equally, between Beck’s and Jade’s family, it will be on Jade’s mother alone on her side. Yes, Jade has also told Beck that her father wants to pay more alimony, but that very likely won’t even suffice half of the costs Jade makes. While Beck’s parents both earn money, it’s mainly Jade’s mother who does for her family – and she also has to provide for two children, not just one.  
But Beck knows neither Jade nor her mother would want for him to tell his parents too much. Or for his parents to pay more for the child than they do. They are very proud.  
Still... He slowly says: “She may be the only one truly paying for both her children’s lives. Though Jade’s father has just told her he will give her that car for her birthday. He already said he won’t pay for its upkeep though.” Okay, he’s just bitter about that, which is why he added it.  
His parents exchange a look, before his father honestly says: “Okay. Thank you for telling us.”

 

Beck has always been the one, who payed more often for their dates than Jade. She has let him and also lets him in the future, though she does notice, he pays even more often. He also pays more often if they go shopping together for their son. She knows it’s because his parents give him more money to do exactly that, because they do get the different financial situations. She knows her mother wouldn’t like it. She doesn’t like it herself, but she lets Beck. They maybe should pay equally, but... It is easier for his parents to pay more, so why shouldn’t they?  
It’s when the baby is already born. Little Benjamin is only two weeks old now and Beck’s mother is staying home for the week, so Jade can call someone if she needs help.  
Beck has a long day in school but his mother has been over earlier and has come back just now with groceries. Jade doesn’t like it, doesn’t even say thanks for it, because she does consider it inappropriate for her to just buy them – her, her mother, her brother and her baby –any groceries.  
But now, Benjamin needs to be changed, so she leaves for the bathroom, where they have put the changing table in this house, while Jasper helps Leah to put all the groceries away.  
Jade already hears her mother coming home, while she’s still changing Benjamin. As she goes back into the living room and kitchen, she can soon hear her mother say: “You didn’t need to buy all these.”  
With which she must mean the groceries. Jade comes to a halt. God, she doesn’t want to be there, when they have this talk.  
“Oh, I just wanted to help out,” Leah says. “I thought, both Jade and you probably had enough other things on your mind.”  
Jade knows that that wasn’t the right thing to say. Her mother would like for Jasper’s and her father to pay more child support, but just because they should, because Jasper and Jade are as much their children as hers.  
She now also pointedly says: “I’m working and taking care of my children on my own for a few years now. I don’t need help.”  
Jade can’t look into the room yet. She wonders how uncomfortable Jasper feels.  
She looks down to her son in her arms and starts rocking him lightly.  
“Sorry,” Leah now actually says. “I didn’t say it right. I’m not helping you.” She obviously is. Like they are a charity case, which Jade’s mother must think. “I have bought these in exchange for Beck being here all the time and for my grandchild being here.”  
Okay, that’s a valiable point. They also have been at Beck’s by now, with the child. But not as much yet. They also have stayed at Jade’s the week prior to Benjamin’s birth. She guesses that will change. She has enjoyed being in the RV with Beck and Benjamin. But for now, Beck spends almost all of his time here or in school and isn’t at home too much. So, he’s of course also eating here.  
It’s silent for a second, then Jade’s mother honestly says: “It’s not easy accepting these.”  
“I know,” Leah says. “I don’t want to be encroaching in any way. But my husband and I both work to be able to spoil our only child. We also want to do that when he’s somewhere else. And we want to spoil our grandchild just as much.”  
Leah sounds unbelievingly nice, saying that, making it so easy for Jade’s mother to accept it.  
Jade slowly goes inside and catches her mother with a smile, her, Leah and Jasper standing in the kitchen, the groceries all put away.  
“Hey, Mom,” she slowly says and her mother turns around. “Hey. And hello, Benjamin. How did everything go today?”  
They manage. Even with the issue of their families being so different, they manage to get along.


	12. Preparing for birth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back to the last chapter of Jade’s pregnancy. It’s quite long again, because I now wanted to get done with it. ;) The birth will follow and then at least one chapter that talks about the days right after birth. In that/those chapter/s everyone will meet the baby etc and then, there probably will be about seven chapters following, so we should end up with about twenty chapters. That’s how much I have outlined it until now.  
> Then, I also quickly want to warn that there is some... talk about Beck and Jade’s sex life. They actually talk about it and the birth. It may be a little icky. Just so you know and so you can skip it as soon as you see it starting, if you don’t want to read it. ;)  
> But please, have fun reading! :)

It’s only at the end of January, now both of them sixteen, Jade thirtythree weeks pregnant, that they finally start really getting everything ready for their child. Well, it’s still seven more weeks to go until the due date, so they still have enough time either way.  
His parents ask them, when Jade stays over from Saturday to Sunday, Saturday evening: “So, when will you start setting up everything for the child? Do you already have a crib for your home, Jade?”  
“Uhm, no, not yet,” Jade answers. “But we should probably buy one.”  
She looks to Beck, who nods. “Yeah, we should probably make everything ready for the baby to come.”  
“Remember to split the money evenly or keep the receipts for the expensive things like the crib,” Leah says. “I already looked at Beck’s old crib and it’s definitely still good but you should take a look yourself. Maybe, you also want to try getting two new but cheap ones. I also realized, we still have Beck’s old buggy. And I found some other stuff in the basement. Maybe, you want to look through everything tomorrow?”  
“Yeah, sure,” Beck agrees.  
Jade already knows they will take that old crib and probably everything else his parents still have from Beck’s childhood. They can’t spend more money than necessary. Her own mother hasn’t kept anything, from her or from Jasper, except like... two toys. But she has sold expecially the bigger things.  
And after Beck’s parents now have him also gotten his own car, with his parents having talked to her mother on the phone about it and about what to do with upkeep (as they otherwise also could’ve split that of Jade’s car if they would’ve shared it), Jade knows they really can’t spend too much more money.

The next morning, after breakfast, Leah goes down into the basement with both of them and shows them the crib, the buggy and the boxes with all the toys and clothes from Beck’s childhood.  
“These two boxes are probably the baby things. We of course only kept the clothes that still looked good and that we liked best. Also, we kept the toys, which Beck liked most and which are still whole. Take a look through; you can have everything you like. Your father can help you with the crib, as soon as you want to bring that up.”  
“Thanks, Mom,” Beck says and his mother runs her fingers through his hair with a smile, before she leaves them at it on their own.  
Jade and Beck empty both boxes, one with clothes and one with toys. They aren’t just for a newborn but probably go well into the age of a toddler. Jade starts to sort through the clothes while Beck does the toys.  
Jade, by now, also gets emotional seeing baby clothes. It’s ridiculous. It’s even more ridiculous with these clothes, but she gets even more emotional, knowing that Beck has worn these as a baby. She even recognizes every other from one of Beck’s baby pictures that his parents have hung up in their house.  
She has trouble pushing her tears back, imagining her little baby boy in her boyfriend’s old clothes, looking so much like his father.  
Beck meanwhile talks about a few of the toys he sees. Most, he doesn’t remember, but some, he does. He also finds his old mobile. Soon, he puts all the things he doesn’t want for his son, or at least not yet, in one box and the things, he wants to take into his RV, in the other.  
Jade makes piles with clothes she would like to keep and clothes she doesn’t like. Surprisingly, the first pile gets much bigger than the second. She and Beck’s parents don’t agree on much, but apparently also haven’t such a different taste in baby clothes. Though there are some bright colors in there, in which she definitely doesn’t want to dress her baby.  
As she looks at a onesie with an elefant pictured and imagines a baby Beck in it (whom she knows from the photos) and gets emotional once again, she suddenly has to think about his parents. His parents, who kept these clothes, remembering Beck’s chlidhood. Gosh... What are they even doing here?  
“Maybe, we shouldn’t take any of these,” she finally says.  
Beck looks up surprised. “Why?”  
She would like to claim that she just doesn’t like them, because that’s an easy reason. But Beck would be able to see right through her and they wanted to be honest to each other either way.  
“Your parents kept them to help themselves reminisce about your childhood. These will get dirty and maybe rip if another child wears them.”  
They won’t have as many memorabilas as soon as another child runs through all of them. Jade’s mother also didn’t care for things like that, made money out of most of Jasper’s and her childhood things because giving them a good life in the present and future was more important than old memories. Beck’s parents meanwhile kept these things though, obviously because it is indeed important for them to have them.  
Beck doesn’t seem to see it that way: “But it will be their grandchild wearing them. It’s fine. They’ll be happy to see the clothes on our child.”  
Jade isn’t so sure about that, which Beck sees. He changes the rattle, which he has taken a look at, from one hand to the other and lies the free arm around her, as he says: “If you want me to, I’ll make sure of that later.”  
She doesn’t want to ask his parents herself. Somehow, she just doesn’t. It would be just weird to talk to his parents about their memories, about their emotions for these things. Right? But, yeah, Beck should do it then.  
“Do that,” she therefore agrees and he smiles and kisses her before they both turn back to their work.

Beck gets his father later to take the crib apart with him, while Jade already brings the box with the clothes and toys, they have picked out, into the RV. She looks around there and doesn’t have a clue how Beck thinks he can also fit a crib in here. She has also already thought about it in her own room and guesses she has to throw some furniture out to make sure the crib fits in. The RV is even a little smaller than her room – though Beck’s bed and closet are also smaller. Jade only now also wonders where he wants to keep all these things, all the toys and clothes. Sure, some of them will also go to Jade’s house, but... well... Beck’s small closet isn’t even enough for his own clothes, which is why he has a cupboard to keep the rest like his underwear and socks. Jade also has a drawer there, but... if she stays here more and more, she probably also should have more clothes here. And even this way... all the clothes for the baby won’t fit. And the toys? The ones, they already bought, and those, that Robbie has brought over, are lying partly on and under the desk here, and partly in a box at her place.  
Maybe, Beck should move back into the house after all. His room there is bigger – and over time, their baby could move in the room next to his which is a guestroom as of now.  
But it’s not her decision. Beck has to see himself if he can fit everything here.  
Jade puts the box on the coffee table and then checks the cupboard, checks the drawer, in which Beck has put the first clothes for their child. There is still some room there, but not too much. Well, but she will at least put some of Beck’s baby’s clothes in there. She will probably take the rest to her place. Beck will have to figure out where to store more clothes, if they get some – and where to put hers, if she brings over more.  
She is finished with the clothes when Beck finally comes inside as well, carrying part of the crib, with his father behind him, carrying the rest. His mother is also following though.  
“Okay. Where do you want this?” his father asks as he and Beck both lie down the components of the crib. Leah meanwhile takes a good look around. Well, Jade guesses that she hasn’t been here since Beck has moved in here in the first place. Which must be about ten months ago now or something. Back then, they even removed the small kitchen which had one small stove and a fridge, from the RV, to make room for the few of Beck’s things they put in instead.  
Beck scratches his head, while he looks around himself. Finally, he suggests: “Well, if we push the cupboard and the desk closer together and... the cupboard into that corner... The TV could move a little inside the room, so the cupboard can also be opened there. And the guitar can very well stand in front of my closet. Then, the crib could fit there, right?” Opposite to the bed, which makes it possible to look at the crib and the baby inside, while lying in bed. Jade deems that as smart.  
“Let’s try that,” Nathaniel says and promptly, all for of them start moving the furtniture around like Beck has suggested.  
Though Beck actually tells Jade, when she takes one side of the desk: “No, let us do it.”  
She glares at him. “I’m pregnant, not sick.” She is still able to lift and carry things, only with her belly maybe slightly getting in the way. She won’t have Beck tell her to do nothing.  
Beck raises his hands in surrender, before he lifts the other side of the desk.  
When they are done, Nathaniel is the first to get to putting the crib back together. Jade successfully catches Beck’s eyes and pointedly looks to the box on the coffee table. She’s sure his mother could very well leave. She won’t help with the crib now and there’s nothing else to do anymore then. But he has told Jade that he would ask her and Nathaniel.  
He gets it instantly, nods slightly, before he turns to his parents: “Oh, by the way: These are the things we chose. Though... Weren’t it more clothes?”  
He has glanced to the box and now looks at Jade questioningly. She quickly answers: “Yeah, already put some away.”  
“Right,” he says, turning back to his parents: “So, it’s quite a lot. Is it really okay if we take all of that? Maybe, you won’t be able to keep it after another child had their way with it.”  
“No. Definitely take it,” Leah says and Nathaniel agrees: “We’re happy if it’s getting used.”  
They seem honest about that and Beck doesn’t turn back to Jade, doesn’t look at her , silently telling her that he told her so. Instead, he just tells his parents thanks, before he finally helps his father putting the crib back together.  
For a moment, it’s just the two of them, working. Jade sits down on the couch. The pregnancy doesn’t allow her to stand around for too long anymore. (Okay, maybe, it’s a little like being sick, but she knows herself what she can and cannot do and handle.)  
Leah watches husband and son work for a while in silence, then she says though: “We also wanted to tell you something. We thought of also making a room inside the house for the baby.”  
Beck looks up, raising his eyebrows. Jade lies her hands on her belly. If Beck sleeps in the RV, she doesn’t want the baby to sleep in the house. She doesn’t want his parents to have total power over this child. Not after they already threatened taking custody (even though they never told Jade about it – and apparently never have talked about it again, not around Beck or Jade’s mother, otherwise she would also know about it).  
Leah at least sees the sceptism in Beck’s face and quickly explains: “We noticed we also would do that if you were thirty and had a child and lived in a different city. We just want our grandchild to have the opportunity to ‘sleep over’ with its grandparents. We don’t know if and when that will happen, but anyway... We thought we could buy a portacrib, which you could then also use if you ever sleep over somwhere else.”  
Beck turns around to look at Jade and... well... that sounds good. Now that she hears about a portacrib, she guesses that could become useful. (Though they actually won’t end up using it all that much somewhere else, while Benjamin will sleep every now and then in Beck’s parents house in that portacrib.)  
She shrugs and Beck understands right and turns back to his parents: “Yeah, sure. Thanks. Can you tell us, what we still need to buy in general? Especially the big things? We already got quite a few clothes now and then toys and you know... small necessities.” For example, they have blankets, a sleeping back, bottles, pacifier, two pairs of baby phones for each their home...  
Jade is glad Beck is asking. She will probably ask her own mother as well a few times over the next few weeks, until the baby is born. She also doesn’t want to get home after the birth and realize that a really important thing is missing. Though her mother has already mentioned that you could also have a child without anything at all already in the home – especially if you’re nursing. She said it right at the beginning, when they started talking about everything needed in general and she mentioned they should start buying stuff to not have all the costs at once.  
“You need everything for changing,” Leah answers. “I don’t think a changing table would have room here. But you could have a changing mat. And maybe, we also can have a changing table inside the house, in one of the bathrooms. In case, we all spend time there and you don’t want to leave the house.”  
“Yeah, that also sounds good,” Beck says. Jade also thinks so.  
Beck turns around to look at her again, letting go of the crib, his father now finishes up. “Maybe, we can directly get two changing tables and the changing mat. We also still need a second high chair, but that has still time, like probably even a year, right? But maybe, we should get going tomorrow, look at the prices for a second chair, buy those tables and a crib for your room. Then, we only still have to buy diapers and everything for changing before the birth. Right?”  
“Yeah, I think so,” she confirms and then, Nathaniel says: “Okay, done.”  
“Awesome,” Beck says and both of them move it together in its assigned spot where it fits almost perfectly.

They do go shopping after school on Monday. They don’t buy a second high chair as they don’t have any money left for that (but yes, there is still time for it). They get a relatively cheap and yet nice crib, two somewhat practical changing tables and somehow still take a few clothes, though they both agree that they have enough. But Jade just can’t help look at those clothes and they make her emotional and she loves them and... Beck finds them cute too and loves to tell her that they will also buy those.  
Well... At least they don’t take another toy with them. And they realize that there is some other big thing they need: a baby seat. They decide to search the internet for cheap yet safe ones though. (They also buy one over the internet that arrives in time – they only get a second one when Benjamin is already quite a few months old, and they then keep each a seat in their cars mostly.)  
They also wonder, in the baby shop, if one buggy is enough, but they decide that one will be enough, at least at first, just like with the baby seat. They will find out that they made the right decision there. They do go on walks with Benjamin in the buggy, but they carry him in a babysling or alike way more often.  
After they are done shopping that day, they go to Jade’s. Jasper comes home only shortly after them and is excited to help out.  
Jade has already decided by now, how she’ll make the crib fit: by throwing the desk out. Of course, she especially needs to do her damn homework now, but she also often does them sitting on her big chair, her feet up there with her and the papers lying on her knees. She will just always do it like that from now on if she has to. The other option would be to throw the small couch out, and though she doesn’t deem that as very important, she thinks her room would look idiotic without it. Her chair would then just stand on its own with a coffee table in front of it, weirdly squished between desk and crib and... she just doesn’t think it would look good. It would look improvised at best and... this is her room, her home. It should look that way. It shouldn’t look as if her baby was some accident, that even ruined her room – though it was indeed an accident.  
Jasper insists on carrying the desk with Beck into the hallway. “You’re pregnant. You already carry a child. Let me do it.”  
And though Jade still isn’t sick and can most certainly still carry her own desk, though she has glared at Beck just a day prior when he has told her she shouldn’t carry anything, Jasper seems excited about the possibility to finally help out with something and she lets him. The seven-year-old hasn’t been too involved, though has always been interested in everything going on and has just last week tried to listen at Jade’s belly if he could hear his nephew.  
They then assemble the new crib all together and put it in the new free spot. After that, they also put together one of the changing tables in the bathroom. Jade notices that she hasn’t even talked to her mother about it, but she personally would like it much better to have it in the bathhroom instead of her bedroom, not to mention that she would have to throw the couch out as well after all if she would have the changing table inside her room. Maybe, she also should’ve gone just for the changing mat. She remembers that they had the changing table for Jasper in Jasper’s room back then – but her mother also hadn’t had to sleep in the room herself, possibly with the smell of the diapers stinking up the room. (Though it will work in Beck’s RV somehow, but Jade will still be glad that even the garbage can for the diapers won’t be in her own room.)  
When her mother comes home, she directly comes into the bathroom, where they just try to find the right spot next to the sink.  
“Oh, you finally have bought a changing table,” she notices after greetings got exchanged.  
“I hope it’s okay we put it in here,” Jade says and her mother nods: “Of course. You probably can’t also have it in your room. It’s fine here.”  
“She really doesn’t have any room anymore,” Jasper confirms. “We put together a crib there.”  
Their mother smiles. “I thought so. I already saw your desk in the hallway.”  
She says that to Jade, who replies: “Yeah, I don’t know what to do with that.”  
Her mother looks at her for a moment, before she suggests: “How about I take it in my room? It should fit. I could do some work on it, but if you want it back when you move out or something, you can have it, and don’t need a new one.”  
Jade truly appreciates that. She also likes her desk, to be honest, and the idea of selling it (or just throwing it away) also doesn’t sit right with her. So, this is great.  
Jasper carries the desk with their mother in her room (Beck doesn’t suggest to do it as he has never been in Jade’s mother’s room and considers it private, while Jasper still claims Jade shouldn’t carry too much), and then, their mother also comes looking into Jade’s room to see the crib they’ve bought.  
“Well... Soon, we’ll have a baby in the house again,” she says and Jade notices, though her mother still is stressed by the situation, there is a light smile in her face.

Beck starts keeping some of his clothes on top of the cupboard (and buys a bigger one when Benjamin is long born), so that Jade and Benjamin have room for their clothes inside it. He keeps the toys in a box under his desk and other necessities in a box next to his couch.  
Well, at least Jade has more room for all of that in her own room. Especially her closet is much bigger than Beck’s, so Beck and Benjamin can easily store a lot of clothes there (despite all of hers – though she also sorts some stuff out, as she now is looking at it anyway).  
They get everything for changing in late February, also changing mats. They are also allowed to stock a changing mat and also all the necessary supplies für changing in Lane’s office as well. They plan to have a bag for emergency changings or alike with them as well, but it’s good to have so many supplies there. And Lane lets them, so...  
Beck keeps the changing mat and all the supplies in his RV under the bed, easily accessible.

 

But there are other things to still take care of before the birth.  
In the beginning of Feburary, Jade in her thirtyfourth week, his parents ask them to sit down with them again, in the living room.  
“Beck told us that you will look at the hospital the day after tomorrow,” his mother addresses Jade.  
Jade just nods. Well. There is nothing to say to that. Beck isn’t sure what his parents want to talk about. He has just informed them. They don’t expect to come, too, do they? Jade’s mother will come, yes, because she will apparently also sign some stuff, but mainly because she offered it to Jade and Jade wanted her to come. Beck and Jade also don’t really know what to look for and at, so it’s a good thing that an adult will be there, someone, who has already given birth, who will ask the right questions.  
But Beck doesn’t want his parents to also come along. This is just not their place.  
His parents also doesn’t want to suggest that though. His mother instead tells Jade: “We talked to your mother on the phone and she told us that you will most likely stay in the hospital for two nights after the bith. That’s what your insurance covers. Of course, that’s also enough time, as we are all sure nothing will go wrong. But, what no insurance covers, which we would like to pay for, if that’s okay with you... it’s Beck staying with you for those two nights.”  
Beck is surprised because of the offer. He hasn’t even thought about the fact that Jade would stay in the hospital at first. But naturally, she should, just in case. And... yes, he also would like to spend the first two nights with his child. He will spend every one after that with Jade and their baby as well. Why not the first two nights as well?  
His mother continues: “Beck, you’ll have to go to school of course, if it comes in the middle of the week. It’s enough that Jade has to miss school for some time. But you then couldn’t just be with the child in the late afternoons and evenings, but could also get to know it over night right away. We would like to pay for a family room for the two of you and the baby. Of course only, if both of you want that.”  
Beck can’t imagine how Jade could be opposed to it, but he still looks to her checking, while he says: “I’d like it.”  
Jade returns the look and truly smiles. She obviously also hasn’t thought about all of that until now, but seems actually glad about the possibilty of Beck staying with her. So she won’t be alone in the hospital with her newborn child, just with strangers around, while she tries to learn how to be a mother. “Me, too,” she says.  
Beck’s parents seem happy. “Then, we’ll call the hospital tomorrow.”

 

They visit the hospital on Tuesday, her, her mother and Beck. She already has a knot in her stomach, but it gets worse when her mother tells the doctor, after him asking, that Beck will probably be there for the birth, and the doctor says that maybe, her mother should also be there. That especially for teenagers, he would like the mother to be there as well.  
“It should be her choice though,” her mother says, to which the doctor at least agrees.  
Yes, it should be Jade’s choice, right?  
They not only meet the doctor but some nurses as well and they talk about how Jade would like it to go (with her mother making a lot of suggestions), if she would like to get medicated and everything. As Jade can’t imagine how giving birth will feel like, the decisions are hard to make.  
Because of lack of time, they also hadn’t had the chance yet to attend a birthing class, but they will start with that the next day.  
Beck gets excited for it as they drive back home. The knot in her stomach twists. It’s not where her baby is. It’s just this sick, unsure feeling she has had for a while, thinking of the birth. And there’s something, she knows she should’ve told Beck all along. But she hasn’t dared yet.  
As he’s talking about the class, just the two of them in her bedroom, and she plays with the ring on the necklace she’s wearing, she knows she has to tell him, she has to be honest. Even if this might break him, might break them.  
She just comes out and says it: “I’m not sure I want you there when I give birth.”  
Beck’s face falls and so does Jade’s heart. God.  
“What?”  
“I’m not sure I want anyone there,” Jade quickly says.  
“But,” Beck says but doesn’t continue. He just looks at her.  
She tries to explain: “I’m not sure I want anyone to see me like that.” To see her give birth. To see her in so much pain. To hear her whine and scream, like apparently so many women do. To see her so... weak. Maybe, she just wants the nurses and doctors there and only because of her and her baby’s safety and because she’ll never have to see them again. But even her mother who has seen her as a baby as well, that has given birth to her... She doesn’t think she wants her there – but her mother also doesn’t expect to be there. She has always talked about it as something she won’t witness personally. But she does talk about it as if Beck would be there, just like Beck has always assumed.  
But it’s Jade’s choice, isn’t it? Her mother has said so. And that’s so cruel. She can actually decide if Beck will witness the birth of his own child. On the other hand... She can’t decide if she herself will be there. She will have to give birth, one way or another. They both don’t have a choice about themselves.  
And she has now decided on a natural birth, though at this very moment, she thinks she should change her mind. If only because she wouldn’t feel uncomfortable with Beck being there if she would get a C-section. Though... She would like to go through this naturally. But she can’t have Beck around then, can she?  
“I’m...” Beck starts again, looking so crest-fallen. Damn. Then: “I mean... It’s your decision. But I would really like to be there.”  
He’s a good person. He won’t pressure her about it. He would like to, he feels he needs to be there for the birth of his son. But he will be good about this.  
Jade asks herself if Beck will one day hold it against her though. If they will fight and Beck will then suddenly say that she didn’t even let him be there for his son’s birth. She has thought about that for days, which is why she hasn’t dared to talk to him about it right away. He may be able to tell himself he will be okay with every decision, but what if he won’t be?  
But Jade can’t get a C-section just because of that, can she?  
Beck speaks up again, carefully: “I get that you don’t want anybody to see you so vulnerable. But maybe, you will like someone there who you can trust. You can trust me, Jade. You know that, right?”  
She knows. Of course, she knows. But... Maybe, she would prefer her mother then. But only because of something she has read. Something, that scares her about Beck’s and her relationship.  
Afraid of giving birth, she of course googled a little about it. Which she shoudn’t have, because most women writing about giving birth online, write horror stories about it. But she isn’t dumb and knows it has to go well for most of them. She has read a lot about relationships going downhill after the man witnessing the birth though. And yes, she’s afraid of that.  
She hesitates for another moment, but the ring is still between her fingers and... she has promised. She has to be honest now, has to say everything: “It’s not just about anyone seeing me vulnerable. It’s also about you as in... I’ve read that some couple have trouble still being couples with a child. But I’ve read even more about men... not being able to forget the birth after they have witnessed it. They can’t... have sex with their partners anymore because they always have to think back about a baby comming out of there.”  
It’s embarrassing to talk about it. She even blushes. She hates this. But she guesses they have to talk about this. They will have a child with each other soon. They probably have to talk about absolutely everything. Gosh. They are only sixteen.  
Beck is bewildered. “You think I couldn’t... like... find you sexy anymore? Seriously?”  
“It’s not something I made up, Beck,” she harshly says. “That happens to other couples.”  
“But not to us,” Beck states firmly.  
But how does he know? And as soon as he has seen, he will never be able to unsee, so if it doesn’t sit right with him...  
Beck obviously notices that she’s not convinced and tentatively asks: “What do other guys do when that happens to them?”  
“I don’t know,” Jade honestly says and adding, annoyed at the many posts she read about it: “It was mostly women whining about their men not finding them attractive anymore.”  
Beck seems thoughtful, then: “Well, I know of the risk now. Which means I can possibly avoid it. And if I can’t... I mean... If it really happens, I’m willing to go into therapy to get it out of my head.”  
He means it. The thought of him going to therapy to have sex with her again after the birth of their child is bad enough though. God. Why does this have to be so difficult?  
Though even if that would help... This is just a mess again. She still doesn’t know if she wants him there in general, if she wants anyone here in general.  
Beck also notices that, scoots a little closer to her, lying his hands on her knees. “It’s fine, Jade. It’s your decision if you want me there or not. I would love to be there and I promise you to do everything to not see you differently... or at least not worse after that or something. But you have to be comfortable.”  
She looks at him for a moment, before she draws him into a kiss.  
She knows she will hurt him to no end if she won’t allow him with her for their son’s birth. But can she have him there?

Beck drives them to their birthing class the next day after school. When they arrive, he asks, if he should join Jade and she tells him to do so, though they don’t know yet if Beck will be there during the birth.  
Jade gets once again annoyed at people staring at them, the other couples silently judging over the young couple in their midst. But at least, Beck is there. At least, she doesn’t have to go through this alone. He instead holds her hand and shares amusing glances with her when someone says something stupid, especially when some of the other people ask stupid question. As they do one of those breathing exercises, everyone knows from TV, Jade can’t believe how stupid all of this is, and luckily, Beck thinks the same. He squeezes her hand, which makes her look to him, and then he lip-syncs, as if he’s doing a rap to the other couples’ breathing in the room.  
She surpresses a laugh, while she shushes him. After all, she should probably to these exercises, as dumb as they are.  
But it makes her think to the birth again. It does her good whenever Beck is close. That’s pretty much a general rule. Yes, sometimes, she wants to be alone, but regarding Beck, that’s a very rare occasion. She feels comfortable and at ease around Beck. He makes her laugh and enjoy her time.  
Certainly, he won’t be able to make her laugh during giving birth, but... maybe, he is able to ease the pain.  
Until now, she has only concentrated on the negative parts about Beck being there – him seeing her in that state –, but she hasn’t thought yet about the fact that yes, she indeed will be in pain, she will be scared and it will be too much for her, and maybe it would be good for her to have Beck around.  
Beck drives her home after the class and it’s when he stops the car in their driveway, that Jade has decided, after so many days of worrying about it. Her hands on her belly, she says: “I want you to be with me for the birth.”  
Beck looks at her a little surprised, but also directly intently: “Are you sure?”  
She looks in his eyes and she sees all the love he has for her. She admits her new thoughts: “I can’t do it alone. You deserve to be there and I think it will be much easier with you around.”  
A light, true smile goes over his face and she has to add, to ease the situation: “And you should see what I have to go through because you impregnanted me. It will make you appreciate me more.”  
Beck’s smile gets wider, amused, but he says earnestly: “I already appreciate you very much.”  
She hopes so. Anyway... “No rapping though if I have to breathe in that way.”  
Beck chuckles. “N’aw. Are you sure?”  
Jade grins as well as she pulls him into another kiss.

 

Her mother has another talk with Jade in the middle of February, a month before her due date.  
She’s grown really big by now and feels like she can’t sit anymore through all her classes. It’s just tough to sit so much with no chance of walking a little in between or – even better – lying down. Either position makes her back ache by now, but she feels like sitting for a long time makes it worse. Also, she constantly needs to go to the toilet and has cramps in her legs, especially at night. Which also means that she doesn’t get much sleep, with having to go to the toilet every now and then, and having those cramps. (She’s also still exhausted from being emotional all the time. That doesn’t seem to want to stop.)  
She has talked to Beck and her mother, and her mother has immediately said that she should stop going to school as soon as feels like it. She wants to try to still make it through February. Beck meanwhile gives her backrubs as often as he can, even tries to do it in school without drawing too much attention to it. (He gets so used to it and also realizes that he likes it very much, that he also does it often when Jade isn’t pregnant anymore.)  
Now, her mother sits her down: “Jade, I want to talk to you about something. I will take time off of work from the sixth of March for two full weeks. I talked to Leah and she will get off time the week after that. We expect your child to be born within that time, as the due date is the sixteenth. If it will come a week late, Leah is still home for a few days and possibly, Nathaniel can take a week off then. But we will probably need his vacation days for finals if we can.”  
Jade bites her inner cheek. She’s pretty sure her mother means well and she most likely will need help, but... this sounds so controlling.  
Her mother actually knows her thoughts and continues: “We haven’t decided on this to control you or anything. We just know out of our own experiences that it’s nice to have someone around the first few days at least. Leah won’t be here around the clock, probably will only come over when you call her. But in that case, you can definitely reach someone in case of an emergency or just for any question. And she can make you something to eat if you want that. It’s good if you don’t have to take care of things like that and can just fully concentrate on getting to know your child.”  
“Fine,” she says, lying her hands protectively over her belly. She doesn’t know if she likes the thought of especially Beck’s mother being around, watching her every move. But well... She will fight that battle if and when it’s necessary.

Jade’s mother goes on a business trip to Florida a week later. Actually for the whole week, though she barely does that. Usually, she is just gone for one or two days. But to get those two weeks off in March, she has now taken over some clients from her collagues in Florida and meets with them too now.  
Her flight goes Sunday evening already. Jade has agreed to take care of Jasper for the week, which is easy to do. He’s seven years old, is in school much of the day and may need two meals at home, but she does too, so...  
It is easy enough for her. She has taken care of Jasper often enough for one or two days. Going to school gets to be much harder for her though. On Thursday morning, as she makes breakfast for Jasper and her, she feels quite dizzy. She has gotten up three times during the night to go to the toilet. Her back hurts like crazy again. Her legs feel weak, the weight of her belly and her boobs like way too much. She is thirtyseven weeks to the day now and feels like she could be long overdue.  
“Everything alright?” Jasper asks as he sits down, actually sees that Jade doesn’t feel good.  
For a moment, she feels like snapping at him, as she pushes some of the bacon from the pan on both their plates. But it isn’t his fault that she doesn’t feel well, and he just worries. Which wouldn’t keep her from snapping at anyone else. But this is her little brother, so...  
Therefore, she says nothing at all, puts the pan away and sits back down, incredibly hungry and yet, she feels like she has to rest for a moment. She lies down her head in her hands, supporting her elbows on the table.  
“You should probably go back to bed,” Jasper says.  
Jade answers: “I have to go to school, smartass.”  
She knows Jasper scrunches up his face without having to look at him. He says: “You don’t have to. Mom told you that you can stop going any time. This is the time, Jade. You obviously don’t feel well.”  
How she hates it when someone thinks they know her oh so well. As if Jasper knows better than her if she feels good enough to go to school. Though honestly... The thought of being able to get back to bed... That sounds really good right now.  
“I’ll think about it,” she therefore says and when she looks up she sees Jasper smirk, as if he has finally won an argument with her. She of course has to slightly shove his head with her hand.

She makes sure, he gets out of the house in time, and then cleans up the kitchen, before she finally does go back up to her room and falls back down on her bed. From there, she pulls out her phone to make a call.  
Beck immediately answers. Jade is sure, he’s already waiting for her to call him because she went into labor. She would really like to be already done with all of that.  
“What’s up?” he asks and she answers: “Hey. Everything’s okay, but I wanted to tell you that I won’t come to school today.” So, he won’t worry.  
For a short moment, it’s silent, then Beck asks, sceptical: “Everything’s okay but you won’t come to school? That doesn’t sound like you’re okay.”  
She rolls her eyes slightly. “I am okay. You know, not considering all the things coming with being close to birth. Whatever. I just don’t feel like sitting through all my classes today.”  
“Want me to come over?”  
The thought of him coming over, lying in bed with her, spooning and cuddling with her while she sleeps a little, sounds pretty good. But... “After school, yes. And you can talk to Eikner to tell him to talk to all the teachers about sending me everything from their classes.”  
That has been the deal. Eikner has said that the teachers would send her everything for the time she can’t come to school, so she can learn on her own. And she feels like she can very well learn, even if she stays in bed for the rest of the day.  
“Okay,” Beck says. “But call or text me if you need something else or want me to come.”  
“I will,” she answers and then he says the words, she would’ve asked for anyway: “I love you, Jade.”  
She closes her eyes for a moment, enjoying the echo of the words inside of her, then she quietly answers: “I love you, too, Beck.”

Jasper is home from school before Beck. Jade sits down at the kitchen table and finally can do some of the work that the school has sent to her during lunch break. Apparently, they always plan to do it during lunch. They will during the next two months.  
Jasper does his homework next to her, before he asks, when they are both done and move over to the couch: “How are you feeling?”  
“Fine,” she answers, already annoyed. She doesn’t like being asked that question.  
Jasper tilts his head. “Will the baby come soon?”  
Oh, does he think she should give birth soon now if she isn’t feeling good? She wishes so. She already had that sort of pain that had felt a little like she imagines labor to feel like. Her mother has told her to wait before driving to the hospital, and that she would definitely know if it’s time to give birth for real. She hasn’t gone into labor after all. She doesn’t know if she will anytime soon, though she hopes she will.  
“I don’t know,” she answers honestly.  
Jasper scrunches up his face, as if he thinks it’s weird for her to not know. But he doesn’t say anything more about it, instead he suddenly asks: “Have you told Mom you’re staying home?”  
“No,” she answers.  
“You should,” Jasper easily says.  
“It’s my business.” She doesn’t want to have to inform her mother about everything again, just because she’s pregnant. Though a voice in her head has also already told her that she should inform her mother. She has told that voice that she will do that anyway when she’s back from her business trip. There is no use at contacting her now for something, to which her mother only will say that it’s fine.  
“You still should,” Jasper claims though. “She would like to know.”  
And it’s just that Jasper can look at her in that way, that makes her give in too easily.  
She rolls her eyes, as she grabs her phone from the coffee table: “You’re annoying.”  
But she does text her mother, just quickly: “Have stayed home today. Don’t think, will be back to school until after the birth.”  
“There,” she then says to Jasper. “Are you happy?”  
Jasper smiles smugly and hums his approval.  
She rolls her eyes again and suddenly, her phone vibrates. It’s her mother that calls her.  
She groans annoyed, before she picks the call up: “Yeah?”  
Her mother also doesn’t bother with a greeting. “Are you okay?”  
Well, she’s fine. It isn’t like she’s dying. She just didn’t feel like school today and... her mother has allowed her to stay home... “You told me I could stay home.”  
“And you can,” her mother confirms. “But I want to make sure you are okay. Should Thomas or my parents pick up Jasper?”  
Okay, her mother worries. But it’s not that bad. School is so different than making sure Jasper doesn’t set the house on fire or something alike.  
She looks to the boy that just now goes to turn on his playstation and the TV screen. He has seen that it has been their mother calling and might listen with one ear, but doesn’t care much.  
“No, it’s fine,” Jade answers as she lies down on the couch, not feeling like sitting anymore.  
Her mother says: “Okay. I have to get to dinner with a client. But call me or Beck or his parents if something is wrong, yes?”  
“Yes,” Jade replies, because she would have to, if something is wrong.  
“And tell Jasper to behave and take care of you.”  
Jade smirks. “Yeah, right.”  
And that’s that. Both hang up and Jasper curiously asks, sitting down to Jade’s feet, his controller in hand. “What did she say?”  
Jade still smirks. “That you have to take care of me.”  
Jasper looks at her and smiles, not taking it as a joke: “I can do that. I’ll make cocoa.”  
He drops the controller next to him, stands up and hurries into the kitchen.  
“Jasper,” she starts, doesn’t seriously need him to do anything. She’s the one who’s supposed to take care of him. She is the big sister.  
But Jasper demands: “No, let me.” Well, then she will let him.

 

Beck directly drives to Jade’s home after school.  
He goes in without ringing the doorbell (after Caitlyn has told him months ago that he just can, as long as it isn’t locked, obviously). Jade lies on the couch, her brother sits to her feet and plays on his playstation. Jade is watching him, bored.  
“Hey,” he greets with a smile.  
Jasper beams, always happy to see him: “Hi!”  
“Hey,” Jade also answers and he’s already with her, leans down and kisses her.  
They hold the kiss for a while, then Beck asks: “How are you?”  
He has been worried about her the whole day, though he has been sure that if something was seriously wrong, she would call him. He’s glad to see her now, looking like usual. Well, exhausted, but she has looked like that for some days now. After the last months were so good on her, the pregnancy is taking a toll on her again now.  
“Fine,” Jade now also answers, looking annoyed at being asked.  
“Need anything?” he asks.  
Jade rolls her eyes, before she claims: “Jasper is bringing me everything I need.”  
She makes a gesture to the cup on the coffee table. He looks to Jasper, who returns the look with a proud grin. Apparently, he has brought Jade that drink.  
Beck smiles. Gosh, he’s happy that Jade has a little brother like Jasper. “Aw, thanks, Jasper. You’re taking really good care of your sister, huh?”  
“Yeah,” Jasper answers, before he turns back to his video game.  
Beck looks back to Jade, who seems amused and now tugs on his shirt as she demands: “Come lie with me.”  
He doesn’t hesitate, gets out of his shoes and then jumps over Jade, lying down between her and the backrest, partly spooning her.  
He presses a kiss behind her ear and enjoys the warmth coming from Jade’s body. Recently, her body has seemed even warmer than ever before, her body next to his has comforted him even more. It’s a... motherly warmth that surrounds her. Beck can only imagine her scent changing and giving off the impression of even more warmth and comfort with new hormones coming in, preparing Jade’s body for birth.  
He enjoys it either way, if something has changed for real or not.  
Jade moves her body even closer to his and he buries his face in her neck, as he randomly says, as he remembers: “Our friends thought the baby was born, when you weren’t there.”  
When he came to school alone, Andre was by his side immediately, asking if he is a father now. Cat has squealed happily and Robbie and Rex have shared a high-five, before Beck told each of them that the baby is still very much inside of Jade.  
But it weren’t just their friends, as he knows to add: “A lot of our classmates did, too, and asked me for pictures.”  
“Of course, all girls,” Jade comments dryly.  
Okay, he’s pretty sure she has smiled about their friends, even though he hasn’t looked in her face. She certainly isn’t smiling anymore.  
He raises his head to look at Jade, as he says: “Not all of them.”  
Okay, but most of them and that’s also how he has said it. It were mainly girls coming up to him, asking for photos of his child.  
“Sorry,” he adds, because he probably shouldn’t have told at all.  
“No,” Jade softly says, shaking her head slightly. It might have annoyed her just now, knowing about those girls, but she doesn’t give him the fault for it.  
He smiles down to her, before he kisses her. Then, he cuddles back up to her.  
It’s only when Jasper puts his game on pause and goes to the bathroom, that he feels like he should turn to Jade’s belly. He never talks to it in front of anybody else – not even in front of Jasper.  
“Hey, baby,” he now says as he sits up, scoots a little down and lies one hand on Jade’s belly, supporting himself with the other next to Jade on the couch. He drops a kiss on top of her belly, above her clothes, before he tells their little baby inside there: “You’re getting really exhausting for your mommy. I think it’s time soon.” Time to come out, so Jade can finally move around like usual again. So that Beck can finally take part in taking care of him and it isn’t all on Jade.  
Jade smirks. “Don’t start pressuring him, before he is even born.”  
Beck has to grin, as he pulls himself up again and kisses Jade once more.  
She grabs his face, kisses him again and again, before she quietly whispers: “I love you.”  
He smiles. “I love you, too.”


	13. Birth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone!  
> Here's the chapter about Benji's birth. As I literally just read something where people talked about a baby shower, I have to say: Ah! Is it common in LA to have baby showers? I guess so, right? I knew before that that was a thing in the US - it isn't where I come from. Which is why I haven't thought about it until now. Obviously, I think Jade would have killed Cat if she would have thrown her such a party, buuut I could have a least mentioned them talking about it, which I didn't now. Sorry for that.  
> Hope you have fun reading anyway. ;)

Beck starts staying at Jade’s place pretty much from that Thursday on, the 23rd of February, at which Jade stops going to school. He only shortly goes to his parents every other day and of course still goes to school, but it’s almost as if he has moved in from that day on.  
A week later, Jade’s mother has her last few days at work, before her two weeks off. She still goes to work on Saturday, sorts out a few things, then is home from Sunday on. Monday, the sixth of March, is her first true day off, and it’s the night after, already on Tuesday, that Jade gets up to use the toilet and already has this feeling as if it’s about to start.  
She falls asleep again nonetheless and doesn’t say anything to Beck yet, to not make him nervous before it’s absolutely about to happen. She’s sure she will go into labor today, but maybe only in the late afternoon or something.  
The contractions start slowly, as soon as Beck is gone for school though, and it’s way before lunch time that her mother decides, after she has told her, that they will drive to the hospital. Jade has already packed a bag, because her mother has said she should and they never know if she doesn’t go into labor in the middle of the night. It’s not just things for her in the bag, but also for Beck, as they will both stay in the hospital after the birth. And of course, there are already some clothes for the baby in there.  
So, Jade gets the bag, and when she’s downstairs again, her mother says: “I’ll call the hospital, so they’ll expect us. If you want Beck to be there, you should call him now. We can pick him up from school on our way.”  
Jade nods and pulls out her phone. While her mother does call the hospital, she tries Beck.  
It rings three times and Jade checks the clock on the wall. One of their breaks should have just started. And finally, Beck does pick up. Well, he probably has his phone on vibrate at best and hasn’t had it in his hand just now.  
“Yeah?” he now directly asks anxious though. He must know what her calling now means. He has already expected it for the first day she stayed home after all.  
“I’m in labor,” Jade outright says it. Those words, both of them have waited for for some time now.  
Beck is silent for a moment, then: “God. Okay. Are you driving to the hospital now? How will I find you there?”  
“My mom said we can pick you up from school,” Jade says and realizes what a smart choice her mother has made with suggesting that. Beck of course is in school with his own car, but he probably shouldn’t drive right now. She hears in his voice that he has lost his nerve with her telling him she’s in labor just now. If he would drive now, he would surely crash his car.  
Beck also must realize that, at least he says: “That’s good. Okay. I’ll be waiting in the parking lot, yeah?”  
“Yeah. See you,” Jade answers and right as she hangs up, she feels those contractions again.  
Her mother hangs up as well and as Jade scrunches up her face, lying both her hands on her belly, she says: “Everything is sorted out. Come on. Let’s get you into the car and let’s get going.”  
She actually helps Jade to the car, also carrying the bag, then they are on their way.  
Beck indeed waits in the parking lot for them, looking so nervous like Jade has never seen him. He is a wreck. It even makes her smirk.  
He gets in the backseat, right behind her.  
“Hey”, he says as he reaches to the front, touching her shoulder. “So, this is it?”  
“This is it,” Jade confirms, because she is pretty certain about it. She hears Beck taking a deep breath as she lies her hand on top of his on her shoulder.

They are in the delivery room. The doctor on duty is an older woman, who has checked up on Jade right away and has promised to come back soon. Their designated nurse also seems weirdly nice, which Jade usually hates, but in her current state, she feels comforted by her smile somehow. It’s weird.  
And though, she feels like she will be okay with the doctor, the nurse and Beck there... When her mother tells her she will leave then, that everything should be going fine, Jade can’t help herself: “Mom, stay.”  
Her mother looks at her, promptly walks back to her. “Okay,” she says.  
Jade takes a deep breath as she looks into her mother’s eyes. Gosh. And then, she looks to Beck, who’s already sitting to her other side. “Is that okay for you?”  
Or will he feel uncomfortable with Jade’s mother around? Does he feel like this should be a moment just for them?  
“Absolutely,” he says though. She sees in his eyes that he means it, that the most important thing for him is for her to feel comfortable – and to be here himself.  
And it’s so weird, because she has still doubted a little, how she would feel with anyone there, with just Beck there. If she could actually relax then. Now, she’s sitting in this stupid bed, about to give birth, has felt the first contractions, and she doesn’t care who will see her. She just wants to feel safe. And she does need Beck for that. And her mother.  
“I’m going to call Thomas then to look after Jasper after school. Or my parents if he can’t,” her mother decides.  
Jade’s relieved that she’ll stay.

For a minute, her mother and she are even alone. The nurse has shortly gone outside and Beck has decided (after asking Jade if it’s okay) to call his parents to inform them that the birth is about to happen.  
And it’s as if her mother has waited for them to be alone. Intently, she looks at her, as she says: “Jade, you will give birth within the next few hours. Don’t think about how it goes in movies, how it looks there, what the women there do. This is extremely private and every woman does it differently every time they give birth. Say what you need and trust your instincts. If you can’t have me here after all, just tell me. If you need The Scissoring to run on my phone, we can do that. If you need Beck to sing any song for you, I sure as hell will make him do it. If you need to crush someone’s hand, you can have both of mine. Okay? This is your thing. It’s your pain.”  
Jade looks in her mother’s eyes. Everything inside of her hurts. In a beautiful way. She can’t even wonder how it’s possible that her mother knows the title of her favorite movie. They might have become much closer during the pregnancy, but they aren’t actually close. Not in the sense that her mother knows a whole lot of her likes and dislikes, right?  
Anyway... Suddenly, she sees that her mother actually is scared. She knows what going through birth means and now having to witness her daughter in that pain... Jade has half in mind to send her out, so she won’t have to see her like that, but... she wants her there. And she’s sure, though her mother is scared like hell, she also does want to be there. She always has wanted to be there, but never would have imposed herself on Jade. She knows that she would’ve pushed Jade away by trying to pull her close. Because she does know her.  
She takes her mother’s hand in hers and squeezes it as she closes her eyes. She will trust her instincts. She will do this somehow.

 

They put it in Jade’s arms as soon as it’s out. It’s screaming and wriggling around at first, but quickly calms down, when Jade puts her hands around the small thing.  
Beck feels the tears in his eyes as he watches the little boy. And then, there is the doctor’s voice, telling Beck he can cut the cord if he wants to. God, does he want to.  
He quickly wipes the tears away to have a clear vision, as he does cut the cord.  
Only then, the nurse lifts their baby again and asks Jade to undress herself slightly, so she can put the baby on her naked skin, so that she and the baby can truly feel each other, and the baby can also search for the breast right away if it wants to.  
Then, she lies the baby back and covers it with a blanket, still as bloody as the baby is. Beck also imagines that the baby must be scared, having just come out of the safe, warm womb of its mother. So it’s only right, that it gets right back to her, closely and safely.  
Beck finally looks into Jade’s face again, sees how tears are also running from her eyes. And his are right back.  
He looks back to the child, his child, and with a shaking hand, he reaches out and carefully lies it on the little boy’s head. His little baby boy, to whom he has spoken so often through Jade’s belly. It’s here. It’s right here, in Jade’s arms.  
One of Jade’s hands moves from holding the little body to holding his hand over the boy’s head.  
He looks up to her again at the gentle touch, and through tears, he sees her looking back and he can’t help but kiss her, softly and carefully. The beautiful girl that has just given birth to his son.  
And only when they break apart again, Catilyn gently raises her voice: “I’m so proud of both of you.” She means it. Beck shoots her a smile and Caitlyn also shortly glances to him, but mainly, she of course only has eyes for her daughter. Not even for her grandson (that’s completely covered from vision by both their hands though anyway), but for Jade. Her smile is full of relief and love, as she even runs her hand gently through Jade’s hair. “I’ll leave you alone and meet you again in your room.”  
Jade nods slightly and then, her mother leaves.  
Beck looks back to his son, only to get interrupted again. The doctor has washed and sanitized her hands and given them a short moment of privacy through it. Now, she stands at the end of the bed again though and smiles as well: “You’ve done a really good job, Jade. There will still be the placenta coming out. That shouldn’t be a problem. It should just come out after a while, as long as you stay relaxed. Nurse Sawyer will stay with you of course and call me in case of an emergency.”  
Jade also nods to that and the doctor leaves them alone as well. The nurse also busies herself at the sink in the room, and therefore, it definitely feels like it just them. Beck, Jade and their little baby boy. The new family.

Nurse Sawyer gets another nurse to take their son to clean him up and have him checked up by another doctor, after everything is done. She asks for the baby’s name first, which makes her the first to know after Jade and Beck themselves. Jade speaks the name extremely softly.  
Then, nurse Sawyer helps Jade to clean up herself and brings them to their room afterwards. They will reunite with their son there, she says.  
“If you can help her?” she says to Beck as they are about to leave the room.  
Beck immediately turns to Jade to support her. He hasn’t known that was necessary.  
But Jade also promptly slaps his hands away. “I don’t need help.”  
Well, she’s back to her usual self, whatever happened in that delivery room. He has to smile about it. He loves her so damn much. Now more than ever.  
“You will,” the nurse simply says. “Your blood circulation is crazy right now. You also shouldn’t shower without supervision, at least while you’re still here in the hospital.”  
“Great,” Jade says, sounding annoyed.  
She obviously doesn’t like that thought. But that’s how it is.  
They have a really nice room with two seperate beds and a crib in between. They also have their own bathroom.  
Beck helps Jade onto one of the beds and he’s in the process of getting one of the chairs in the room to sit down on that next to her (as the beds are too small for two), when another nurse comes inside, with a baby in her arms. Their baby.  
He’s all cleaned up now and neatly wrapped in a blanket. The nurse smiles as she approaches them with him: “Congratulations to your beautiful and very much healthy baby boy.”  
She hands him over to Jade, who takes him with the softest smile herself. Beck notices that on the arm, their baby has pushed out of the blanket, he has a soft bracelet from the hospital. Undoubtedly, his name is written on there. Beck has to smile. He already knows he wants to keep that bracelet.  
The nurses leave them alone, after mentioning the exact measured height and weight of their baby and after shortly explaining how to call them and that Jade should try breastfeeding right away, though apparently, it’s not necessary for the baby to actually eat (or rather drink) so quickly after birth. But if she wants to breastfeed at all, it’s apparently smart, to get to it from the beginning on.  
“We have a son, Jade,” he finally whispers after they have been alone for a second.  
She looks over to him, then reaches out for him, only holding their baby with one arm. He promptly stands up again and lets himself be pulled into a kiss.  
“We do,” she then whispers back. “I love you.”  
“I love you, too,” he says and god, does he love her.  
“Wanna hold him?” Jade then gently asks and he does. He isn’t sure she is ready to give their son away again. She definitely hasn’t looked happy when the nurse has asked for the baby and Beck gets it. She has carried this child for so many months, it has been inside of her. She must feel lost when she’s suddenly without it.  
But she seems ready to give it to him. And he doesn’t need to keep him for too long. But he would love to hold their son as well. To actually have his son in his arms.  
So he nods and gingerly, Jade hands him to him. Beck smiles as he feels the living, breathing baby in his arms, that weight of a human being. Of his son.  
“Hello, Benjamin,” he says quietly. “It’s me, your daddy. Do you recognize my voice?”  
The boy makes a small noise and Jade promptly claims: “He does.”  
Gosh, she sounds choked up. He is as well. This is the most beautiful moment in his life, he’s sure.  
“I bet you would like to go back to your mommy, huh?” he says, but before he can actually give the child back, someone knocks on there door and only a second later, Caitlyn comes inside.  
“Hi,” she says in a hushed voice, smiling as she sees Beck standing there with his child in his arms.  
She has two water bottles with her and some small snacks and sweets. She also carries the bag with their stuff in. She drops the bag next to Jade’s bed and all the other things on her night stand, as she quickly and still in a hushed voice says: “I just shortly wanted to bring these in. And I of course wanted to ask when you will be okay with visitors? You can still take the evening for the three of you and only have your parents” – she directs that to Beck – “here tomorrow, but I bet they’d love to meet their grandson now.”  
Beck is shocked that it actually really is already evening. The birth has taken forever, but at the same time, he doesn’t feel like any time has passed at all.  
Jade answers: “They should come over right away.”  
Beck would love to introduce his child to his parents (after all, he, Jade and their son will have time for themselves the whole night), but Jade has just given birth. She should rest. His parents probably won’t help her do that. It’s not like she feels all that comfortable around them.  
“If you’re not ready for it...” he therefore starts to say, but Jade cuts through: “No. Sure. I don’t want to see... you know... my grandparents yet, but your parents are fine.”  
She means it and... like... there has to be a certain amount of happiness where you just can’t get any happier, right? But he feels more and more blissed.  
“Could you call them for me?” he asks Caitlyn, because he doesn’t feel like calling anyone right now. He just wants to be here with Jade and their baby, feel the moment.  
Caitlyn nods and Jade actually adds other questions: “Could you also call dad, if he would like to come? And mabye get Jasper here too?”  
Which would have all of their immediate family together. Beck doesn’t care much for her father, but he likes the idea of all of them together. Here. With the new family member, their baby boy.  
Caitlyn smiles. “I will. I will tell them to come in an hour and will pick up Jasper myself just in time, okay? That way you still have a little more time to get to know your son yourself.”

 

They don’t talk much at first. They are just there with their child and at some point also don’t seem to stop touching each other. While Jade holds their son, Beck’s hands are somehow also right there with her and with the baby. She finally eats and drinks something, after she has given Benjamin to Beck again, and they let go of each other for that.  
As she holds him at first though, she finally gets around to really look at her son, to get to know his face. He has very short light brown hair, his face is all wrinkly and his eyes are a somewhat piercing blue, though he has them closed mostly. They are also a little swollen, but she guesses she doesn’t have to worry about it. The nurses have said he’s all healthy. Either way, every now and then he opens those eyes and looks at her and she can’t help but smile.  
After she has eaten, Beck lies the baby back in her arms and she greets him again, as if she hasn’t hold him before: “Hey, baby. I’m so glad you’re finally with us.”  
And there’s Beck’s voice, soft: “I should take a photo.”  
“Not of me though,” Jade immediately says, while he already pulls his phone out of his pocket. She doesn’t want everybody to see her like this. She has washed up a little, still in the dilvery room, but she hasn’t truly showered or anything. And she might be flooded with hormones and happiness, but she also is really exhausted, which must show in her face as well.  
“You look beautiful,” Beck says and how can he even sound honest now? Is he really that great of an actor, being able to fool her, which he never really is, or does he actually thinks she looks beautiful like this?  
“I look like a mess,” she says in any way and she would actually like to check that herself. Not to mention that she also needs to use the toilet, rather sudden. She’s used to suddenly having to go from before the birth as well. She hopes, it will go back to normal soon, without a baby lying on her blatter.  
Now, she promptly pushes Benjamin back in Beck’s arms, as he hurriedly puts his phone back away, and says: “I’m gonna go to the bathroom.”  
“Should I come with you?” Beck checks.  
“No,” Jade directly says. But she knows that Beck only worries. The nurse has told them that Jade could faint pretty much at any time, if they haven’t misunderstood.  
She definitely doesn’t want Beck seeing her using the toilet (despite him having seen her during childbirth, which has been the most vulnerable and private state for her as of now). But when she reaches the door, she turns back and says: “I won’t lock the door. If you hear something too loud or I’m not back in... ten minutes the latest, you can come look.”  
Beck nods, seems relieved for that permission even, then Jade goes into the bathroom.

She does look like a mess, but... well... not as bad as she would’ve thought. She washes herself a little again and even brushes her hair with her fingers slightly.  
When she goes back into the room, she quickly comes to a halt again. Beck is sitting on the chair next to her bed, the baby in his arms, totally captured by it. He hasn’t even noticed Jade coming back in.  
Jade can’t believe how much love shows on Beck’s face. He has literally just met this boy, but already loves him more than his own life. He adores him. He will be the best father in the whole world. The best father for her son.  
She gets choked up as she watches Beck stroking the little boy’s face and looking at him like he’s the best thing in his life.  
But she pushes the tears away and when she finally feels composed enough, she says, with a rather rough voice: “Give me your phone.”  
Beck looks up confused, but doesn’t question it and just gives the phone to her. She isn’t sure where her own is, where her clothes, she has worn coming inside the hospital, even are. Anyway... Now, she takes Beck’s phone and starts taking photos of Beck and the newborn.  
Beck of course quickly gets what Jade does and smiles even more easily into the camera than he usually does.  
She only stops taking pictures, when she starts feeling dizzy. Okay. She has to lie down.  
She quickly walks to the bed and takes a deep breath as she settles back in, lying the phone next to her on the bed.  
“Everything alright?” Beck asks, of course having noticed that it wasn’t just her deciding to have made enough pictures.  
“Yeah,” she answers, but she guesses he deserves to know: “Just feeling a little dizzy.”  
Beck only looks at her worriedly for a moment. In the end, he must know that Jade will decide for herself if she wants to call the nurse – and that he would only annoy her asking any further. She also will tell him if she needs anything.  
So, he simply says: “I bet you’ll feel better with having our son back in your arms. Yeah, Benjamin. You also want to go back to your mommy, huh?”  
She does feel much better as he hands him back to her. It feels weird to have that little baby in her arms. At the same time, it’s much weirder to not have the baby close. She does feel that he isn’t inside of her anymore. And it’s almost like she’s not complete anymore. Okay, she hopes she’ll get over that soon. Because other people will hold and watch him. And while she feels somewhat comfortable with Beck holding him, especially when she can see them anyway, she felt really bad giving Benjamin to the nurse.  
She wonders though, if the feeling of being incomplete without her child around, will ever truly go away. Does her mother still feel weird when she doesn’t see her for a while, sort of lost, after she has grown for so many months inside of her?  
Beck pulls her back out of her thoughts, taking his phone in his hand: “Now, you have to allow me to take photos, too.”  
Jade rolls her eyes, but... well... she doesn’t look too bad. And maybe, she does want photos of her with her newborn baby some day. And Beck takes really great photos.  
Though: “You will never show them to anyone.”  
Beck smiles, happy about finally being allowed to take photos: “I never will, except if you allow it.”  
So, he takes a lot of photos of Jade and Benjamin, but then also up close just of Benjamin (and some up close just of Jade, which she will only realize when they will look at the photos one day).  
Beck ends up even making selfies of all three of them. The new family. Jade loves it and promptly pulls him into another kiss, above their child. She’s sure, Beck also takes as much photos as he can during that, before he blindly puts his phone back away and intensifies their kiss.  
They have just broken apart, when there is a knock on the door. It opens directly after and their parents and Jasper are filing in. Jade feels a weird happiness that her father actually even came – and that he hasn’t brought Stephanie. She of course also should meet her step-grandson, but not right now.  
There are quick greetings exchanged (with Jade’s mother dropping Beck’s school bag next to their overnight bag; they have left that in her car before and she has now brought it for the next morning) and then, Leah already stops at the foot of Jade’s bed, her hand on her chest as she looks at her grandson in Jade’s arm. “Oh, my god.” She’s definitely touched.  
Jasper has also quickly approached Jade, has pulled himself up on Jade’s bed, is on his knees next to her now and looks into the boy’s face. “Is that the baby that was inside your belly?” he asks and, without an answer, says: “It’s looking all weird.”  
Maybe, Jade should feel offended for her son, but she actually has to smirk. She thinks her baby looks beautiful but... yes, maybe also a little weird, so wrinkly and... well... just fresh out of the womb. She replies in any way: “You’re looking all weird. Meet Benjamin Oliver West, your nephew.”  
She glances around at saying the name. It’s the first time, anyone related to him hears it, except Beck and herself.  
She sees everyone smile. Except her father. But not because it isn’t happy. Instead... it almost looks like he is a little touched. Well, his grandson has his last name, despite there being good other options.  
Jasper tells the new baby happily: “Hello, Benjamin.”  
“Hi, Benjamin,” Leah also says.  
And then, there’s Nathaniel: “He looks so much like Beck, right after he was born.”  
“He does,” Leah confirms and seems so happy about it. Jade wonders if that’s true. If this was how Beck once looked. She has to smile about it either way.  
And promptly, Leah turns to Beck and hugs him tightly, as she says: “Oh, Beck.”  
Beck hugs her back and then, Nathaniel hugs him as well, while Leah already turns back to Jade: “This is wonderful. I’m also glad to see you so well.” She actually means that. She indeed is happy to find Jade so well. “I went rather quick, didn’t it? Luckily. I was in labor for twentyfour hours.”  
“You were?” Jade’s mother asks, obviously in shock. Jade gets that, after she has just gone through birth herself. Twentyfour hours of that?  
Leah laughs lightly, seems rather fond of the memory now. “Yes. I pleaded with Nate to kill me half-way through.”  
Nathaniel also seems amused by the memory: “They were about to give her a C-section after all, when Beck finally decided to come out.”  
Jade smirks. Of course, Beck was slow in being born. How glad she is that their son doesn’t come after him in that respect.  
“How was my birth?” Jasper asks excitedly. Naturally, he has also listened to Beck’s parents and now seems curious.  
Their mother smiles at him, as she says: “Oh, you were a quick one. I think it were only seven hours from my first contraction to you being born. I needed to be stitched up afterwards a little, but... well...”  
Jade remembers that day. It was already late in the evening when her mother came into her room and told her that she would need to go to her grandparents because the baby was coming. Her mother considered for a moment to drive them herself, but has then called a taxi to first bring Jade to her grandparents and then herself to the hospital. Jade was barely able to sleep that night, anxious about her mother, as she had heard only a month earlier (by her grandparents no less), that a lot of bad things could happen to women giving birth.  
“What about Jade?” Beck suddenly asks.  
Jade turns to him, narrowing her eyes at him. He returns the look innocently.  
Undoubtedly, he wants to use the opportunity. It’s not like her mother usually tells too many stories about her children’s earlier years. She knows that it easily gets embarrassing. But right now, it seems easy to reminisce. (Jade will have to find out that her mother will find it surprinsingly easy to talk about Jade as a child, with a new child around. Beck’ll love every second of it.)  
Her mother truly does answer: “I think that I was at it for eleven hours.”  
She looks to Jade’s father, checkingly. And he adds, without hesitation: “I drove you to the hospital at noon and she came ten past eleven.”

Beck is impressed. Her father actually remembers her birth? It’s not like he isn’t already sure that he will forever remember the birth of his son, but this cold man, who never does anything for Jade?  
“Did he already have his first check-up?” Beck’s mother pulls him out of his thoughts.  
Okay, he directly answers proudly: “Yeah. They say he’s healthy. Nineteen inches long and weighs seven pounds and four ounces, right?”  
He turns to Jade, who nods.  
“He looks really adorable,” his mother says. “You made a very beautiful baby.”   
“Thanks, Mom,” he says with a smile, because he knows she means it. And it’s not like he actually did anything for it, like he’s the reason, their child is so cute, but... he still feels like it’s right to thank his mother for it.  
“Are you recovering alright?” Caitlyn meanwhile asks Jade. She looks at her piercingly, almost silently promising her to know better, even if Jade would lie by saying it’s fine.  
But Jade is recovering fine. Beck of course can’t compare her to any other woman shortly after birth, but... she isn’t feeling too bad.  
“Yeah,” she now also says with a shrug.  
Jasper speaks up again: “When will you and Benjamin come home?”  
“Probably the day after tomorrow,” Jade answers. Exactly what her insurance covers. Well, as nothing has gone irregularly, as everything went like births just do, it probably will indeed be fine.  
“Awesome,” Jasper says happily. “I’ll make everything ready for him then.”  
Beck sees Jade narrow her eyes at her little brother. “Don’t think of decorating everything or something.”  
Beck can also too well imagine Jasper putting garlands up or something – possibly in Jade’s room. Yeah, Jade is not a person to like that. Which Jasper knows as well as Beck, but both of them also tease Jade with things like that sometimes.  
So, Beck has to smile as Jasper grins cheekily: “You’ll see. It also wouldn’t be for you, but for the baby.”  
That actually makes Jade smirk as well. And Beck notices, when his mother starts another topic, that she and his father are smiling about it as well: “By the way, we did buy a small present for your baby’s birth. Also just for the baby. It’s a stuffed animal, but we thought we should give it to you as soon as you’re home, instead of bringing it here. So, you don’t have to take too many things back home or something.”  
Beck knows, his parents place value of what other people think of them – apparently even what Jade, her family and he himself think of them. Maybe, a present is kind of expected, which is why his mother wants to make sure they know they will still get one.  
Anyway... He’s happy for his son to get his first present. Though of course, it’s good that they didn’t bring it here. In case, they would get a lot of visitors and they would all bring something, it would quickly add up.  
“That’s probably smart,” he therefore says.  
His father smiles and puts his hand in his back: “Well, I think we should go now. It’s late and you must be exhausted.” Then, he explicitly turns to Jade and telling her more than Beck: “Thank you so much for letting us come by today.”  
Beck’s mother nods, also feels that way. Beck is glad that they get that it does mean a lot. After that birth... with just meeting their child... Beck would’ve understood for Jade to say she wants no visitors at all, especially not Beck’s parents.  
“Sure,” Jade easily says and Beck’s mother asks: “Can we also come by tomorrow after work?”  
Jade nods and Beck does too.  
Christopher also seems to decide that it’s time to go again. He says: “I’ll probably come visit you at home over the weekend. I’ll bring Stephanie. But call me, if something is wrong.”  
He says that to Caitlyn, who shortly acknowledges it nonverbally, as Jasper already asks, more directed to her than to Jade or Beck: “Can I come tomorrow?”  
Caitlyn checks in Jade’s direction. Jade nods and therefore, Caitlyn answers: “After school, yes.”  
Jasper seems happy about that and finally stands up from Jade’s bed where he has still been on his knees next to her and the baby.  
They will obviously all leave now for the new little family to be alone.  
Beck’s mother still makes sure: “You have everything you need, yes?”  
“Yes, Mom,” he says with a smile and shortly hugs her another time, before everyone starts moving to the door.  
Jade’s mother hangs back slightly, shortly touches Jade by her leg, as she says: “I will drop by in the morning.”  
She gives Jade a moment to protest, but as she doesn’t, it’s decided.  
Everyone tells them good-bye, then they are gone.

 

They have a really quite rest of an evening. Mostly, it’s them and the baby. And they are tired early. Understandably for Jade, but the whole day has also taken a toll on Beck in a way.  
They are ready for bed now, Benjamin lies in his crib, they also lie in each of their beds and Beck has just finally been able to draw his eyes away from their son again to shortly check his mails on his phone.  
There is nothing new, but it’s during that, that Beck thinks about their friends. They haven’t been with him as he has gotten the call from Jade, and he has immediately left school for the parking lot, without any one of them seeing. His parents told him they would call the school, so they would definitely know why he missed his classes, after he has called them to tell them Jade was in labor.  
The teachers probably were able to guess though. Their friends as well. They also haven’t written him any text, asking where he is. He only wonders for a second why they haven’t texted him at all, not even happily, wishing them luck or even congratulating them already. Though... He knows that all three of them have read up on giving birth as well. After Jade wasn’t able to come to school anymore, they talked all through lunch about the end of pregnancy, and all three of them have said some things that they probably didn’t know before Jade’s pregnancy. They must know very well that there are risks. And maybe, they thought it would be bad luck to already congratulate them or something. Or they didn’t want to distract Beck. They also don’t know that Jade is long through with everything. She didn’t need a whole day, unlike Beck’s own mother.  
But he can imagine them waiting, with each their phones in hand. Especially Cat probably a second from texting him or Jade (Jade already has found her phone again by now and hasn’t said anything about a text).  
“Should I text our friends?” he now asks, looking to Jade, who has watched their son between them.  
Jade returns his look now, for a moment, then: “You should send them one of those pictures you took.”  
Oh, Beck likes that idea. He quickly clicks himself into the photos while he asks: “One with you on it as well?” He sees a very beautiful one of the two of them right away. Maybe, he also should put that as the background on his phone.  
“No,” Jade darkly says though. “I told you, nobody will ever see those. Just one of our baby.”  
Well, okay. There are also enough beautiful pictures, just of Benjamin. When he finds the one he likes best and has typed a text, he stands back up to show it to Jade to approve, before he sends it to their friends.  
Jade looks at the photo and then, he watches her eyes moving over the words he has written: “Meet Benjamin Oliver West. The best baby in the world.”  
“Is it okay?” Beck asks, when he’s sure she must have read the text and gotten a good enough look at the photo.  
Jade looks from the phone to him and abruptly, pulls him down to her again, kissing him deeply. Blindly, he hits send, before he fully concentrates on his girlfriend, the mother of his newborn son.


	14. First Days

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> I wrote a whole lot over the weekend, so I'm now also done with the newest chapter of this story.  
> I wish everyone enjoyment with this chapter!

It’s a weird feeling to wake up to your own baby. And it’s beautiful all the same.  
During breakfast, Beck tells Benjamin in his crib all about how he will leave for school soon but that he will come back later.  
“Your mommy will take good care of you while I’m gone,” Beck tells him and glances to Jade, who watches them with a smile – her boyfriend and their son.  
Beck turns back to Benjamin, shortly reaches into the crib, touching his little belly, as he says with a smile: “She of course will also take care of you while I’m here. She will be with you your whole life. You’re a lucky little guy.”  
“Yeah, right,” Jade says, and yet, she’s smiling and maybe, tears come up again. Gosh. She has hoped that would stop right after the birth, all those emotions. After they already exhausted her during the pregnancy. But obviously, she will still need time for her hormones to get back to normal.  
Beck leans over to her and they kiss, before he finally eats the last piece of his breakfast and then asks: “You will text me if something is up, right?”  
“I will call you,” she instead assures. Of course, she will call, if something is wrong. But Beck shouldn’t worry at all. It’s not very likely that something will come up while he’s in school, so she continues: “Don’t worry. We’ll be fine.”  
Beck smiles, kisses her again, before he’s up and goes to the bathroom, saying: “I’ll go make myself ready.”  
She also finishes her breakfast, before she takes Benjamin out of the crib into her arms.  
“Hey, baby,” she whispers, before she drops a long kiss onto his forehead. “It will be just the two of us in a little while. That’s weird, huh? But I will try my best, I promise.” She always will. She wants to try so hard to be a good mother for him. She already thought so, when she felt him in her belly. She has known it’s her first priority from now on, as the nurse has put the little screaming thing on her chest.  
She now watches him as he yawns and closes his eyes.  
She doesn’t think much time has passed at all, while she watches her baby, when Beck is already back, all ready for school. He takes his bag, before he walks all up to Jade and Benjamin. He leans down and kisses Benjamin’s forehead on the exact same spot Jade has before.  
“Bye, baby,” he whispers. “See you after school.”  
Jade thinks it’s so weird that Beck says that to his son, but instead of his son going to school, Beck is the one going. It should be the other way around. Well... One day, it hopefully will be. Anyway...  
Then, Beck turns to Jade and kisses her twice, before he gently says: “I love you.”  
“I love you, too,” Jade answers, before she frees one of her hands from under her son to put it in Beck’s neck and pull him into another kiss goodbye.

 

Beck feels extremely giddy, as he takes the bus to school (his car of course still at school). He feels giddy to tell the whole world that he has a beautiful son, that he is a father. At the same time, he wants to turn around right away to get back to his son, his little baby he would like to never leave. But well... he has to go to school.  
As he walks into the building, he directly sees his friends waiting in front of his locker. He can’t help but grin.  
Surprinsingly, it’s not Cat who’s with him first. Instead, Andre is there, shaking his hand and pulling him into a hug at the same time, his grin as wide as Beck’s: “Congrats!”  
“I’m so happy,” Beck hears Cat squeal the very next second and then, she hugs both of them, jumping up and down like crazy.  
Promptly, Robbie decides: “Group hug!” And he also goes in, Rex hanging off his hand helplessly.  
“Thanks, guys,” Beck says and is still grinning brighter than he possibly ever has, as they break apart again.  
Cat is still jumping up and down and now tells him: “I totally wanted to call Jade yesterday. I was so excited and directly wanted to ask her about everything. I at least wanted to text you back. But Andre called me after your text and said I should probably let both of you have some time.”  
Which means that Andre must have gotten the text and must have immediately thought of Cat, who was bound to call right away, and called her, so she wouldn’t. Andre now also explains, shrugging, possibly unsure, as if he didn’t know if it was right to keep Cat from doing so, from sharing her happiness: “I just thought Jade wouldn’t need that right now.”  
“You’re right,” Beck assures him, before he turns to Cat: “But I’ll tell her that youwanted to call.” Jade will certainly like to hear it, even if she couldn’t have stood Cat rambling about.  
“Good,” Cat now also says, seeming a little worried. “I don’t want her to think I wasn’t interested. Should I call her now?”  
“We have school now,” Robbie reminds her. That’s also pretty much the moment, the bell rings for their first class.  
“Then after school,” Cat says, before she abruptly turns to Beck: “Oh, can we come home with you after school?”  
Robbie finally remembers Rex and makes him say: “I also want to meet him.”  
But it would be of no use for them to come home with Beck. He isn’t even going home. But they don’t know that. They might have read up on pregnancy and birth a little, but apparently haven’t thought about the possibility of staying in the hospital afterwards for safety.  
So, he explains now: “Jade is still in the hospital with... our son.” He directly has to smile again as he says it. Their son. Gosh.  
“Is something wrong?” Cat asks with big eyes.  
Robbie shakes his head though. Well, he has a little sister, that’s why he must actually now: “I think that’s normal procedure.”  
“It is,” Beck confirms, while they finally go further to his locker for him to sort through his things, so he can also go to his class. “Everything is fine.”  
But Jade has still seemed exhausted this morning. And Beck has barely even met Benjamin. Their families will obviously show up today again, but... their friends as well? He doesn’t think he wants that. Or that Jade wants it.  
He continues: “I think you can’t go there today though. But you will meet him soon enough. I’ll talk to Jade to decide when, okay?”  
They all agree, then they are on their way to their classes.  
Beck walks with Andre, who says after a moment: “I can’t believe you’re a father now.”  
“Ask me,” he replies. It is unbelievable. It shouldn’t be. He knew for months that this day would come. He had time to get used to the thought. He isn’t though.  
“How does it feel?” Andre now also asks interested.  
He honestly replies: “Weird. Different and yet the same. I don’t know. Maybe, I can tell you in a week.” Andre has to laugh.

 

Jade is online on her phone a lot, as she’s alone in the hospital. Well... She isn’t alone. Her child is right there with her. But he doesn’t make any trouble at all. She lies him over her chest, while she is lying on her bed and is online. The nurses look after her every now and then.  
Just now, she thinks about calling one of them, so she can possibly use the bathroom. (After all, it is possible for her to faint in the restroom and someone should watch that a little.) She puts Benjamin back in his crib, when there is a knock on the door.  
“Come in,” she calls out.  
It’s her mother that walks in.  
“Hi, honey,” she says with a smile.  
“Hey, Mom,” she answers. “You’re right on time. I’m going to the bathroom. Watch him.”  
She doesn’t even wait for her mother to nod. If there is one person next to Beck, whom she can trust with her child, it’s her own mother.  
When she comes back into the room, her mother has dropped her handbag on the chair next to Jade’s bed and stands next to the crib, her fingers going gently over Benjamin’s belly, as she talks to him quietly: “Did you enjoy your first night on earth? You are really one of the cutest babies I have ever seen.”  
“You can take him out, you know?” Jade says, going back to her bed and sitting back down.  
“You sure?” her mother asks.  
She just nods, so her mother turns back to Benjamin with a smile and does take him out.  
Okay, it is weird. It’s not as bad as seeing him in the arms of one of the nurses or something. But still... It’s her child. Though it doesn’t belong to her. Human beings can’t belong to anyone. But it almost feels like Benjamin does and like she just doesn’t want anyone else to have him. She knows that’s ridiculous. Though she has also felt it a little with Beck. Also not nearly as strongly as with the nurses, but the feeling was there nonetheless. She will have to suck it up. At least with Beck and both their families. Beck has just as much right to hold their son as she has – and their families also should be allowed close.  
And despite this weird feeling, she has been touched by Beck holding their child every single time, she has seen it until now. Despite the feeling, she loves the sight to no end.  
She also likes how her mother now cradles her son, just like she did Jasper back then and probably her, Jade.  
“Hi,” her mother softly says to Benjamin. “It’s me. Your grandmother. Can you say nana?”  
Obviously, Benjamin can’t say anything yet. He can barely even open his own eyes. But Jade questions something else, raising her eyebrows: “Nana?”  
Her mother looks up and shrugs, smiling: “That’s very likely one of the first words Benjamin will be able to speak, so I’m gonna have it.”  
Jade has to smirk. Yeah, okay. She guesses her mother will be nana for her son then. She can live with that.  
Her mother now turns back to Benjamin: “Yes, now you’re not even one day old, but soon enough you’ll already speak your first word and will walk and will go to school and...”  
Jade can’t help herself: “Stop it.”  
She can’t imagine yet that Benjamin will ever talk and walk. She also doesn’t want to imagine that right now. “For now, he’ll be my baby.”  
Her mother isn’t offended at her interrupting, but easily says: “He will always be your baby, don’t worry.”  
And with that, she comes closer and hands Benjamin over to her. And the way she looks at her... She obviously means that Jade is also still her baby after all.  
Somehow, it almost makes Jade tear up again. She is glad that her mother doesn’t say anything further about it but instead asks: “Have you eaten?”  
“Yeah,” Jade answers bored and before her mother can asks any more: “And slept. And everything.”  
“Have you had a chance to get to know him?”  
Jade looks down to her little son, before she shrugs: “A little. It’s weird.” Because she feels like she has known him since forever, but at the same time, she doesn’t. It’s new to have this child around, her child. She doesn’t know yet, what kind of person he will be – what kind of person he already is. He isn’t even a day old after all.  
“I know,” her mother says. “Well... Have you already left the room with him?”  
“No,” Jade asks, a little confused because of that question.  
Her mother already explains: “A little walk would do you some good. At least up and down the floor, if you want to take him outside for the first time, when Beck is with you to see it.”

 

They do take him on a short walk through the hospital, until Jade doesn’t feel like walking anymore. Then, her mother stays for a while with her in her room, which is weird. It’s not like they usually spend much time together. It’s not like they usually even talk much. But suddenly, they are in a room together with not much to do.  
When Beck finally comes home from school, her mother is long gone though.  
Back is more than happy to see his son again. Of course also to see Jade, but his son is more special at the moment.  
“Hey, babe,” he greets her first though, as he walks into the room. Jade is sitting on her bed and actually has a few papers spread over her bed. Beck will find out that the school has naturally send her everything from her missed classes today and she had one of the nurses print it out, so she could try already to work through it.  
She now easily puts it away, though she hasn’t really done any work on it at all until now, after he has kissed her in greeting. Then, he drops his school bag, before he approaches the crib and looks at their little son, lying in there.  
“And hey, baby,” he says with a smile. Gosh, how he has waited to see him again. And to hold him again.  
Carefully, he takes him out of the crib and just has to say: “Look at how cute he is.”  
Jade has already put her papers to the side and smirks at him now: “I looked at him the whole morning.” Which means she doesn’t need to look at him now to see how cute he is. She already knows.  
He has to grin. “I understand that.”  
He looks back to their son, strokes his cheek with his thumb, before he turns to Jade again, sitting down on the chair next to her bed. “How was your day?”  
“Pretty boring,” Jade answers honestly. “You know... A one day old doesn’t do all that much.”  
Beck can imagine that. Though he’s also sure Jade enjoyed it nonetheless. He definitely would have. Just to have that time with their son...  
“N’aw,” he says now, in any way, adressing their son. “Have you heard? Your mommy called you boring.”  
“I didn’t,” Jade immediately says, very pointedly.  
She obviously doesn’t like him telling their son that she thinks he’s boring, even if he won’t even understand yet and will never remember this moment.  
He smiles, knows she also isn’t angry or something. And he changes the topic: “Was your mom here?” He would’ve expected to meet her here.  
“For two hours,” Jade answers and even continues from there: “She thought I otherwise should have a lot of time on my own with Benjamin. To truly get to know him. She said that she could understand me behaving differently around my son at first if someone would watch me. I should get comfortable on my own.” She repeats her mother’s words like she always does, slightly annoyed, in that sort of voice that really somehow sounds like her mother and yet doesn’t at all. Yet, she adds: “Which I like, you know.”  
She looks to their son in Beck’s arms, then Beck again, unsure almost. Then, she says: “I really would like to give you the chance to be on your own with him as well. But I... I don’t think I can turn away from him for more than like five minutes as of now. And maybe for some time. Maybe, for forever.”  
She adds that last part with a smirk, but she actually feels sorry for feeling like that. And gosh, how glad is he that she feels comfortable at all to say that to him. To just tell him that she would like to leave him alone with their son, but that she just can’t yet.  
He knows it will be even more important with having Benjamin than ever before to be honest with each other, to keep that promise to each other. She’s starting with it right away.  
He’s glad to know it. And the thing is that he can understand it so well. He now also tells her: “That’s fine, Jade. I do get that you carried him inside of you for months.”  
She’s already so much closer to their child; it has been a part of her for a while.  
But he adds honestly, because he’s actually already pretty close to their child as well, which he deems quite crazy and which he hasn’t counted on before: “Though I honestly have to say that I missed him, too. After only knowing him for those few hours yesterday and in the morning, I was crazy to come back and hold him again.”  
Jade smiles at that, obviously likes to hear it. He can’t help but stand up to lean over to her and kiss her with their baby in his arms.  
She lies her hands in his neck, holding him close after they break apart. Against his lips, she whispers: “I love you, Beck.”  
“I love you, too.”

 

They go outside, not long after. Jade carries their baby in her arms and Beck has his arm around her as they walk into the courtyard and sit down on a bench there.  
As Beck realizes that their son actually sees the outside world for the very first time, he starts naming different things, like the sky and the ground, the trees and the gras.  
Jade is amused, though also pretends quite soon that it annoys her. It certainly does get a little annoying, when Beck names more and more things. But she somehow loves listening to him talk to their son, especially with their son so securely in her arms and Beck so close.  
It’s after a while that Beck remembers: “Oh, Cat wants you to know she wanted to call you after my text but Andre kept her from it.”  
“Thank, god,” Jade murmurs. She imagines Cat having called yesterday, right after giving birth... She wouldn’t have been ready for it.  
Beck squeezes her arm playfully. Then: “But she thought about you.”  
Jade actually has to smile at that. Yeah, Cat did. Andre obviously, too. And Robbie most certainly as well. It does make her a little happy.  
“Anyway...” Beck continues. “All three of them of course wanted to know when they can meet him. Well... All four of them” – so Rex as well, but yeah, Robbie does take him pretty much everywhere, as much as he annoys the rest of the group; they know though that he can’t help himself, that he needs Rex – “would’ve liked to come today, but I thought they can still wait a day or two or even longer.”  
Jade definitely also wouldn’t have been ready to see them now, to have Cat ramble on and Rex making some dumb comment or something. Not today.  
Though... If she is home, she’s sure she can handle it. Not necessarily tomorrow, as she will only get home then. But Friday could be possible. As long as Beck also would be fine with it. After all, he’s already in school so much and maybe, he wants some more time like this, just the three of them, being close to his son, not having too many other people interfere. Maybe, it’s enough for him with their parents and he doesn’t also want to have their friends around at the moment.  
“Yeah,” she therefore says. “Maybe, they can come to my place on Friday? If it’s okay for you.”  
“Sure,” Beck nods. “I’ll tell them that. I mean... They also don’t directly need to stay until the middle of the night.”  
“You probably also should tell them that before,” Jade says, which makes Beck laugh. Yes, if they meet up with their friends, their friends like using their time until curfew (while Beck and Jade have often left the other three before to also have some time just the two of them). They certainly aren’t supposed to do that this time.

 

They are pretty much just back in the room, when Caitlyn and Jasper come to visit.  
Beck guesses that Caitlyn already got to hold Benjamin in the morning. Jasper now gets to hold him for the very first time and he looks like such a proud uncle.  
His parents come half an hour later, when Benjamin is back with Beck.  
“Hello, everyone,” his mother says smiling. They all greet back and Caitlyn stands up and says: “I think we should go then.”  
“Oh, you don’t have to leave on our account,” Beck’s mother says, to which Beck silently agrees. His parents presence shouldn’t make Jade’s mother and brother leave.  
“It’s fine,” Caitlyn says though. “I already have been here in the morning and Jasper should go home to do his homework anyway.”  
Jasper pouts, obviously doesn’t like that idea. He would like to stay with his sister and his newborn nephew. But his mother says it sternly enough, so he doesn’t voice his protest.  
“Okay,” Beck’s mother now says. “Have you already talked about how you will get home tomorrow?” That’s obviously an important subject and she wants to make sure, everything’s cleared up.  
They have actually talked about it just now, therefore Beck can tell his parents, for them to also know: “I’ll take them home after school.”  
Caitlyn will be with Jade and Benjamin again in the morning for some time, but Beck will be the one to take them home right after school.  
“Ah, perfect,” his mother says and Caitlyn nods: “I’ll have something to eat ready and Jasper will probably be finished decorating her room.”  
There is a small smirk in her face that totally is like Jade’s. Jasper also grins brightly and Jade rolls her eyes slightly, amused though: “Yeah, right.”  
Then, goodbyes are shared and Jasper and Caitlyn are gone.  
Beck’s mother finally walks all the way up to him and looks at the baby in his arms: “Hello. Oh, he’s still as adorable as I remembered him from yesterday.”  
Beck has to smile. He likes his son being called adorable and alike.  
“You wanna hold him?” Beck now asks her. She and his father also haven’t hold him yesterday. He was in Jade’s arms all through their visit. Rightfully so, as Jade also had only just born him.  
He only realizes that Jade still might not want his parents to hold their son, when his mother actually looks past him to Jade, checking. His mother realizes that it could be hard for Jade. Because your own family is something completely different than the family of your partner.  
“It’s fine,” Jade says though. “You should.”  
But she has just told him earlier that she can’t turn away from their son for too long. She also must still feel weird about other people holding him. It has only been one day.  
“I...” he starts, wants to possibly apologize and draw his offer back, but Jade pointedly repeats: “It’s fine.”  
Okay, she means it. They look into each other’s eyes and he knows she means it. She may have a little trouble with it, but she really does want his parents to hold him as well.  
So, Beck turns back to his mother and hands Benjamin over carefully.  
His mother takes him with a smile, has accepted Jade’s words as well, and now looks at Benjamin again as if he is the best thing in the world – he is.  
“Hey, Benjamin,” she says softly and his father comes closer to her, looks over her shoulder at the little boy. Beck can’t help but wonder if that how it looked when his mother held him sixteen years back. It’s a great picture. He guesses he will position his parents like that when they visit Jade’s home and he also has his camera. He does want to have pictures like this.  
His mother holds the little boy for a while in her arms while she asks Jade how the first day went and then, what Beck did in school. His father also takes Benjamin for a while, while they talk, before giving him back to Beck. Beck then hurries to finally give him back to Jade, who cradles him close to her heart and looks absolutely relieved to have him back. Well, he sees that relief, his parents possibly don’t.  
They also don’t stay much longer. Before they go, his father says: “Well... Maybe, we’ll visit you over the weekend.”  
“You can also come by my house tomorrow,” Jade says with a shrug. Neither she nor her mother like many people in the house, but they will probably okay with it under these circumstances.  
“No,” his father says though. “Your friends probably also want to visit soon and we don’t want you to be occupied all the time. But thanks.”  
He means that thanks. Beck has to smile. They both do appreciate Jade allowing them to even come by tomorrow. They do understand that it means a lot, coming from Jade.  
His mother now even checks: “Is it okay if we call your mother to talk about visiting or would you rather have us call you directly?”  
Because they also don’t want her to think they go over her head. But they don’t want to stress her out by calling her all the time if she doesn’t want that. Beck also imagines a call between his parents and Jade as rather weird.  
Beck wants to suggest that they just call him, but... well... if they would want to talk about it Friday morning or something, to plan their weekend, they obviously couldn’t talk to him as he would be in school. Also, he likes the thought of not being disturbed by calls when he finally can be with his son. Even if it would be just a short one.  
Jade says: “No, my mom is fine.”  
“Good,” his mother says and turns to Beck again: “And you don’t forget to text or call us if there’s anything at all.”  
Of course, he will. They all say goodbye, and finally, it’s just the three of them again.

 

They finally fill out some forms from the hospital that evening, sign some papers, the paternity papers for Beck as well. Jade has gotten all of those documents in the morning and apparently has went through them a little bit with her mother to know where exactly to sign and what to fill out.  
The next morning, Beck of course has to go back to school.  
Andre greets him at his locker again with a grin. Robbie, Rex and Cat join them as well, happily, while Andre asks: “How is your child?”  
“Good,” Beck says with a grin of his own. He loves the question alone. The question about his child. It sounds just awesome.  
He continues, knows that will make his friends extremely happy: “And we actually think about having you guys over tomorrow if you have time.”  
Cat squeals so loud that several of their classmates turn. Well... They probably won’t wonder too much about the topic of the conversation. Everybody guessed that Beck missed part of his classes the day before yesterday because Jade called him in labor. Many people have seen Beck being hugged by his friends then yesterday morning and quickly, the whole school has known about it.  
Just like when Jade has first stopped going to school, a lot of his classmates (especially the female ones) came up to him to congratulate him and ask for pictures. He hasn’t shown anyone a photo and has also told his friends to not show the photo he sent them around. Nobody needs to see their child yet, except the people important to them. If they end up taking Benjamin to school with them as soon as Jade is ready, they all will see him soon enough.  
“Absolutely,” Robbie says and has Rex nodding viciously as well, while Andre says: “Awesome!”  
So, they all do have time tomorrow. But there’s something he thinks he should mention. Especially with seeing how happy Cat is to meet Benjamin. Something he hasn’t thought of with his parents, but he will consider with his friends. “Yeah. Though... You know... Don’t expect to hold him yet. You have to remember that Benjamin has just been born and Jade and he are pretty much still a unity.”  
“Of course,” Robbie says and Cat and Andre nod as well, Cat with big eyes. Well, they do seem to understand.  
He smiles as he continues: “And it all depends on how today goes. Maybe, we also have to postpone it, okay?” He doesn’t want them disappointed if Jade decides today that she doesn’t feel ready after all to meet their friends anytime soon. It’s so easy for him to invite them, but he also isn’t the one who has been pregnant and has just given birth.  
They also understand that though.

 

Jade’s mother does come by in the morning again, checking on her and the baby and making sure, all the documents are alright and everything.  
Two different doctors check on Benjamin and Jade before lunch, and when they both say everything looks great and they are definitely free to go without any concerns, she already packs up her and Beck’s things.  
When Beck comes after school, she is all ready to go. She only hasn’t put Benjamin in the baby seat yet. Her mother has brought the seat when she came by in the morning.  
“Hey, you two,” he says with a smile as he sees her sitting on the bed with their son in her arms.  
“Hey,” she replies and they share a kiss, before he is the one to put the seat on the bed, directly noticing it next to their bag.  
She stands up and hands him the little baby.  
“How was your day?” Beck asks while he lifts Benjamin, so they are face to face. He puts a little kiss on his cheek, before he adds: “Is a baby on its second full day on earth a little more exciting than on its first?”  
She smirks. “Totally. He ran around the room the whole day,” she claims, before she says: “Anyway... We’re ready to go. We can talk more on the way.”  
“Sure. Are you excited to go home, Benjamin? You are, aren’t you?” he says to the little boy and how can it touch Jade every single time to watch Beck talk to Benjamin? She has seen it now several times. But she always loves to see it, loves to hear it.  
While she takes their bag and checks once more that they have everything, Beck carefully lies Benjamin into the seat and secures him in it.  
Then, they turn to each other again and Beck asks: “Wanna take him, and I have the bag?”  
She shakes her head and kisses him, softly. He should have him.  
How glad she just is to finally go home. With their son. And how glad he is to take them.


	15. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Let's get right to it: Beck and Jade are thinking about making the gang godparents in this chapter. I already called them godparents in Their son, so I didn’t change it here. I did notice though that I don’t know what Beck and Jade believe in and I also don’t want to mention it in this fic. Where I come from, it doesn’t matter. You call a certain role in your child’s life a godparent, no matter if Christian or not. (Our word also hasn’t got the “god” in it, so...) I realize that may not be the case in the US. So I just wanted to say that with godparent I either mean godparents here or a... guardian of any sort. I don’t want to really force religion into this story.  
> Hope you all will like this chapter. :)

Her mother and Jasper await them at home. Jasper made a big Welcome Home sign and actually a Happy Birthday card he now gives Benjamin “for his first birthday – no, it’s actually his zero birthday, isn’t it?”, while their mother takes photos, saying she had to capture the moment of them coming home.  
Jade and Beck leave Benjamin in the car seat at first, which Beck puts onto the coffee table. Jasper shows him his card there, before Jade’s mother also talks to the little boy: “Hello, cutie. How was your first car ride? Did you like it?”  
She looks up to Beck and Jade with a smile: “It’s so great when everything they do is still the first time they do it. Anyway... Are you hungry?”  
Funnily enough, Jade feels like she has always been hungry since the birth. She has told that Beck yesterday evening, who claimed she also needed more food now because she’s nursing, so has to feed someone else with her own body. Which is ridiculous, considering that she barely nursed until now with Benjamin only being two days old and both still learning how to nurse. And considering that Benjamin was inside of her before and therefore was only fed by her then as well.  
But naturally, she now says that she is indeed hungry.  
Her mother already has cooked something for them and they all sit down together. Beck takes Benjamin out of his baby seat and holds him, while he also eats a little, though he’s not nearly as hungry as Jade is.  
Jade watches them while she eats. It’s still a sight she doesn’t get tired of, even though she also still has this small feeling inside of her like Benjamin belongs to her and her alone.  
It’s only after a while, that she finally turns to her mother and asks: “Do you know if anyone will come to visit today?”  
Like her grandparents, whom her parents might have informed.  
“Noone,” her mother says though, which sounds good. Jade is not only hungry at all time but also pretty tired since the birth. Which is ridiculous, but that’s how it is. So, she’s kind of glad that noone will come over. The car ride has already sort of exhausted her.  
Though her friends of course still should come tomorrow to meet Benjamin. And she realizes that she hasn’t told her mother about that. Not that she always tells her everything, quite the opposite, but as they will come to this house and her mother will very likely be home, she informs her now: “Our friends will come over tomorrow.”  
“Okay,” her mother says and Beck tells now with a smile: “They are already really excited. Cat let it slip that they have all bought presents for Benjamin.”  
He looks down to his son with a smile and Jade can imagine too well how they all talked about how they would come over and how Cat just spilled the beans about the presents though maybe, she and the boys agreed to not let Beck or Jade know about that before, so it would be a surprise for them as well. As if those were presents for them or something.  
Typical Cat to tell anyway and Jade has to comment on that: “I still don’t know how she kept the secret of my pregnancy when the school wasn’t supposed to know yet.” That’s really a miracle.  
“I also kept it,” Jasper now raises his voice, as if he wants praise for that.  
“Yeah, but you are not a blabbermouth like Cat,” Jade says, because he isn’t. Though she has to tease him like she does: “Though you also talk too much.”  
Jasper promptly sticks his tongue out at her, which makes her smirk.  
Only then, Beck says, getting back to their friends: “I think Cat just does know when it’s really important. And she did know for that.”  
Jade guesses so, yes. Cat can be weirdly insightful at times, so... But anyway...  
Jade surpresses a yawn as she looks back to her food and... gosh. She’s still hungry though she has already eaten a little bit, but she’s also really exhausted again and doesn’t feel like chewing anymore.  
She hopes, she only feels this way, because she has pretty much just given birth and is still off because of that. She hopes she will feel better again soon, more... satisfied in all her basic needs. Because this is terrible.  
She rubs her eyes and that’s also the moment, her mother asks her: “Are you tired?”  
Gosh, how she hates being watched by her mother, being observed. “What if I am?”  
“Just asking,” her mother says calmly. “You should rest if you feel like it. Enjoy the time where you have no responsibility except your child and can sleep whenever it doesn’t need care.”  
Okay, that’s true. She can also sleep now, because she doesn’t have to be up in the morning, so she doesn’t absolutely have to sleep at night or something. She just can sleep whenever she’s tired.  
She pushes her plate away, wants to give in to her tired feeling then.  
Promptly, Beck decides, standing up himself: “I’ll lie down with you.” Okay, that sounds really good.  
She takes Benjamin out of his arms, drops a little kiss onto his cheek, before she carries him in one arm, takes Beck’s hand in her other and leaves her mother and Jasper to their food without another word.

 

It was weird having a child in the hospital – it’s weirder to have it at home. Because you feel different at the hospital anyway. Everything is strange there. Here at home... you suddenly realize that that baby will always be there. That’s it.  
Beck and Jade again have a calm day. They lie down together for a while, with Jade even sleeping for a bit, before waking up to Benjamin crying, whom they have put into the crib.  
Beck takes him and tries to calm him down a bit, but Benjamin needs to be nursed, so Jade takes him.  
Beck meanwhile starts with his homework, where Jade joins him after she is done nursing. She also has to get some of her school work done again. She has barely done anything since Benjamin’s birth. Beck now also tells her she doesn’t have to do anything yet, but... she doesn’t want to fall behind. And they can easily lie Benjamin down between them on the couch while they are both working. It doesn’t mean she won’t throw her work away as soon as their little baby needs them. Obviously, he is the absolute priority from now on.  
So, they spend the evening with school work, before they eat a proper dinner and then go to bed soon.  
The next morning, Beck of course has to get back to school, while Jade stays home with her mother and Benjamin. It’s weird to have the whole morning with her mother, but her mother uses the time to clean the house and otherwise relaxes and doesn’t impose much on Jade and how she handles Benjamin.  
After she has gone away to change Benjamin and comes back into the living room, her mother is just ending a phone call, saying she will see them tomorrow then.  
“Who was that?” she asks, because that must have been someone wanting to visit them.  
“Stephanie,” her mother answers. Wow, really? Her stepmother and her mother have almost never spoken to each other before. After all, even her father and her mother barely talk to each other. As Stephanie also takes no responsibility for Jade at all, her mother also doesn’t need to talk to her about anything – or the other way around. So, Stephanie and Jade’s mother pretty much only know each other from the time, Jade’s mother dropped her off for Stephanie’s and her father’s wedding and from the time, Stephanie called Jade’s mother after Jade locked her cousin in the basement on Thanksgiving a few years back.  
Her mother continues: “She just wanted to make sure that she and your father can come visit tomorrow.”  
Yeah, okay, her father has said, the evening of the birth that he and Stephanie would come over during the weekend. Stephanie also has never been in this house. It’s not like Jade ever celebrated her birthdays with the whole family or something since her parents are divorced – which happened when she was three years old.  
“Ugh,” Jade now makes, though... whatever. Maybe, she’s even a little happy that her father wants to come by and that Stephanie cares enough to ask Jade’s mother if it’s really okay for her to come as well.  
Jade lies Benjamin down on the blanket they have spread on the floor (her mother mentioning how easy it is for children to roll of the couch or alike if you don’t watch them for a second or don’t have them in your arms – though Benjamin isn’t able to turn by himself yet or anything), while her mother adds: “And she wanted to make sure the size for the onesies she bought was right for Benjamin.”  
“She bought onesies?” Jade asks, raising her eyebrows. Stephanie bought clothes for Jade’s child?  
“As a present for Benjamin,” her mother answers. “Two of them apparently. Which, you know, makes me the only one close to him not giving him anything.” Because Beck’s parents also already said they would give him a present, their friends have said they would bring some things, even Jasper got him at least a card. Well, and Beck and Jade gave him life if you want to say so. But it’s also not important to give a newborn presents, is it?  
Jade’s mother continues: “But I thought you already bought enough and you’ll probably love to buy things yourself, especially clothes. I always loved it.”  
God, is her mother actually feeling bad about it? Is she regretting not having a present for him? Seriously?  
She looks at her mother with a furrowed brow and honestly says: “I also love it.” Because she does. She also loves Beck’s old clothes they have gotten from his parents – and getting them from people is also the cheapest option for them. But she has loved looking at all those cute baby clothes in the stores and just picking them herself. She also doesn’t want to dress her son in just anything, in whatever other people will get her.  
But her mother really looks as if she feels bad about it, as if she has missed out on something in not getting her grandson a present or something, which is ridiculous.  
Jade says: “You might have not given him anything for his birth, but you were there, Mom.” Which is worth much more than every present anyone can get him afterwards. Of course, Jade also wouldn’t have allowed anyone else there, but anyway... Her mother must know how much that means. How much it means that she was there and... that Jade wanted her there. “And I honestly really appreciate that. I needed you there.”  
Her mother smiles slightly, knows that she means it. And Jade usually doesn’t say stuff like this, she doesn’t talk about her feelings in the slightest.  
But now that Jade has started... as she looks at her mother there. There has been something bugging her in quiet moments since Beck and she have shared their child’s name with their families.  
Quietly and almost vulnerably, she says: “I’m sorry he doesn’t have any name that’s to do with you.”  
Like it’s important for her mother to give Benjamin a present. But Jade is sorry that Benjamin’s second name is ‘Oliver’, appreciating Beck’s family, and that his last name is ‘West’ like Jade’s father. Though it was her mother always being there for her. It was her mother who sacrificed much more for her than anyone else in her life. Her mother who always supported her. Who even strongly stayed with her during the pregnancy, without doubting her once, without criticizing her.  
Her mother looks at her surprised though and immediately walks up to her, realizing that it has given Jade a guilty conscience lately. “Oh, no, honey. If names were of any importance to me, I would’ve made sure you wouldn’t have kept your father’s last name after his and my divorce. I don’t need names to bind me to people.”  
She means it and Jade feels relieved once more. How is her mother able to do this? How can she ease Jade’s mind like this?  
Jade swallows hard and her mother gently pulls her into her arms, as she says: “I love you, Jade. Maybe, with Benjamin, you will finally understand how much.”  
And maybe, it’s true that Jade has never really understood how much her mother loved her. She always did what she wanted, but that didn’t mean she was never scared her mother would drop her. Maybe, somewhere deep inside she always searched for the line to overstep, the moment her mother would say it was enough. How scared she was that she reached that line with becoming pregnant. That her mother couldn’t love her anymore.  
How ridiculous that now seems as her mother holds her in her arms and with her own son mere feet away. Her own son that she already loves to the moon and back. She already knows it doesn’t matter what her son will do – she will always love him. Love him in a way that can rip you apart, that aches.  
That’s what her mother feels for her. That’s always in her eyes.  
Jade can’t help but cry as she hugs her mother back. How could she have never realized about the depth of her mother’s love? On the other hand... How could she have realized it if she never loved like that herself? The love you feel for your child is so different from every other.  
“I love you, too, Mom,” she whispers and how curious that she and her mother never were really close, that they fought so much, but that Jade having a child on her own now brought them so close together.  
Though she suddenly has an own child to take care of, she has never felt safer.

 

Beck tells his friends to shortly drive home, before coming over to Jade’s, so he can at least quickly greet Benjamin before they possibly occupy him. He also reminds them once more of how Jade and Benjamin are still pretty much a unity, as even Caitlyn and Jasper have barely touched him yesterday and Jade has kept him in her arms mostly, if she didn’t do homework or Beck didn’t have him.  
After school, he also finds the whole family home. Jasper is playing on a handheld console, while Caitlyn reads a book. Both sit on the couch, where Jade sits as well, Benjamin lying in her arms, against her chest, Jade just with closed eyes, apparently enjoying the moment with their son.  
Beck gets more and more used to just walking in like that, especially as he has done that for some time before the birth as well. It was weird at first, but by now... he truly feels as if he is home here as well.  
He greets the whole family as he drops his bag next to Jasper’s that he always throws into the entrance of the living room. His mother usually allows him some time between coming home from school to doing his homework, if he wants it. She likes it better if he directly does his homework, but she isn’t too strict about it.  
Jasper, Caitlyn and Jade all greet back as he walks up to Jade. He leans down and they share a kiss, her promptly putting her hand into his neck, holding him close. They got so much more comfortable kissing around her mother, cuddling in front of her and everything over the last few weeks.  
“Hey,” Beck whispers against her lips then, greeting her once more, before he leans even further down, dropping a kiss on top of his son’s head.  
Jade pulls him into another kiss, then she pushes him away a little, but only to lift Benjamin from her chest and hand him over to Beck.  
Beck takes him, while he sits down next to Jade.  
“When will everybody come?” Jade now asks, before Beck can even ask how Jade’s day was.  
“Soon,” Beck answers. “I told them to shortly drive home, but that they can come afterwards. I think they talked about all coming together.”  
Jade just makes a noise and leans against him, while Caitlyn, who must have listened, says: “Well... How about Jasper and I leave you alone then?”  
They do, though Jade rolls her eyes and says they don’t have to leave. Caitlyn says that Jasper does have to do his homework soon and they also should have some time with their friends on their own, to which Jade says they can very well go up to her room. But Caitlyn decides that her room is way too small for all of them and that Jasper and she can just as well go upstairs instead.  
So, they do. Jasper takes his console and his school bag with him, leaving the new little family by itself.  
Beck finally gets around to ask Jade how her day was and Jade also asks about school and says that she also already got some work done.  
Only after they talked for half an hour on their time, the door bell rings. Beck has long put Benjamin back into Jade’s arms and now goes to open the door.  
Their friends truly came all together and Cat immediately darts past Beck into the house.  
“Jade!” she squeals as she sees her best friend again for the first time after one and a half weeks.  
Andre, Robbie and Rex greet Beck with a grin as they also walk inside. Both Andre and Robbie, as well as Cat, have each got a small bag with them, in which must be each their present for Benjamin. In a bag, as if it would ruin the surprise otherwise, though Benjamin won’t notice either way. He is still only three days old after all.  
Beck closes the door behind his friends while Cat already sits on her knees on the couch right next to Jade, putting the bag between herself and the backrest: “How are you?”  
Jade looks slightly annoyed. Well, that’s how she likes to look when someone just bursts in like that. “Fine.”  
“Everything okay?” Andre also checks as he and Robbie also walk up to Jade and try to get a look at Benjamin in her arms.  
Jade rolls her eyes: “Yes.”  
“Is this him?” Cat asks, only now also looking to the child in Jade’s arms.  
Jade claims with a smirk: “No, it’s another woman’s baby I kidnapped from the hospital.”  
Robbie actually snorts while Cat looks back up to Jade with an earnest look in her eyes. “You didn’t. This is him.”  
Jade looks amused, which makes Beck smile. With a gesture, he tells Andre and Robbie to sit down as well, which they do, while he sits down on the armrest of the couch, next to Jade. As Cat is all up close to Jade and she already sits at the side of the couch there is no other way to stay close to her.  
Cat now leans over the baby with the brightest smile in her face: “Hello, Benny!”  
“His nickname isn’t Benny,” Jade directly says quiet sharply. “I know a dog that’s called that.”  
Cat looks back up to her, tilting her head. “What is it then?”  
That’s a good question. Beck is surprised that he hasn’t thought about that at all until now. But yeah, always calling him by his full name... With a name like Benjamin... That’s unusual. But he has mostly called him ‘baby’ inside Jade’s belly anyway, that’s probably why he never thought about another nickname for his son.  
“You can’t call a baby Ben, huh?” Andre now says, instantly thinking of a possible nickname.  
“Maybe Jamie?” Cat suggests happily.  
Robbie shrugs: “How about Benno?”  
Andre laughs. “That sounds even more like a dog.”  
Finally, Jade raises her voice again: “If you have to give him a nickname... it’s Benji.”  
Beck blinks. Okay, he hasn’t thought about this. Jade has. She now also looks up to him, as if to wait for his reaction to it, while Cat cooes: “N’aw. That sounds as cute as he looks.”  
Beck also likes it, though he’s pretty sure, dogs are just as much called Benji as Benny. But he doesn’t know any, so he doesn’t care. If Jade likes this nickname... He most definitely can get behind that, as he now also assures her, looking at the little boy in her arms: “Our little baby Benji. That sounds right.”  
Their friends luckily also don’t criticize, which possibly would’ve made Jade angry. (And secretely would’ve hurt her.)  
Cat also looks back to Benjamin by now and says: “He really looks so cute. All wrinkly.”

Jade can’t help but think that that’s a pretty accurate description of her child. Yes, he’s all wrinkly, but absolutely cute so.  
“Benji?” Cat now addresses the little boy in Jade’s arms softly.  
Yeah, Jade has thought about a nickname before. Not during the pregnancy as she, just like Beck, thought about him as ‘baby’ mostly. But since he was born and everybody called him by his full name. She realized someone would use a nickname sooner or later and that she would want to decide which it is. And she wouldn’t let anybody but her and Beck call him ‘baby’ all the time. As she hears Cat call the name now, she still likes it and decides that it has been the right choice – as Beck also seems fine with it.  
Cat continues: “Do you wanna see what we got for you?”  
“I think he totally does,” Beck says with a smile, though Benjamin might have opened his eyes while they arrived, shortly has even looked at Cat (or at least roughly in her direction), but the safety of his mother’s arms has made him close his eyes again. He’s still so young, sleeps so much and needs time to adjust to this world.  
Cat doesn’t need more than Beck’s answer. Promptly, she takes her own bag from next to her and gets her present out of it. It’s a stuffed giraffe, due to the long neck almost as big as Benjamin himself is.  
Jade strokes over Benjamin’s cheek with her thumb, as she says: “Baby, look, you got a giraffe.”  
That actually makes the boy open his eyes again (probably more Jade touching him like that than her words) and Cat holds the giraffe above him, between him and Jade’s face. Benjamin looks at it, seeming almost curiously, before he makes a small noise.  
“Do you like him?” Cat asks happily. “Can you say giraffe?”  
“I don’t think he will say anything for a while,” Andre says amused and Cat tilts her head: “Oh, right. And his first words will be mama and dada. But the next can be giraffe.”  
Robbie also is amused. “That’s a pretty complicated word for his third one.”  
Cat promptly answers, looking back to Benjamin: “Well, he’s a genius, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”  
Yeah, Jade doesn’t know why, but even that touches her and makes her tear up. She really hopes her hormones will soon be back to normal, but whatever. At this very moment, they are still raging and Cat claiming, little Benjamin, Jade’s little baby, is a genius... it does something to her.  
Luckily, Andre pulls the attention to himself now: “Anyway... I also have a present.”  
He pulls a small t-shirt out of his bag. It’s black with a wavy line of music notes in white pictured. He explains: “It will be a little big for him for now, but it didn’t know how small he actually is, so I went for a size that will fit eventually. Yeah, I know you both like acting better, but he obviously will also get to know a lot about music. And there are just so many awesome music related shirts for babies. Also with different quotes and slogans and stuff but I wasn’t sure if you would be into that.”  
He seems positively excited, as if he had much fun looking through shirts for babies, probably in an online shop.  
“I definitely like that one,” Beck says and Jade nods. It’s more than fine. She will let Benjamin wear it, she’s sure.  
“I also have a present,” Rex now claims and Robbie corrects him: “We have a present.”  
Rex makes a short gesture. “Whatever. Robbie picked it out. I would have bought something cooler, you can believe that.”  
Jade rolls her eyes. “Show it already.” Without a doubt, Robbie wanted to start bickering with Rex, which Jade won’t listen to right now. She still needs to readjust to her friends, which is weird enough as it’s not like she hasn’t seen them for months or something. But it’s the first time she sees them since she is a mother.  
Robbie now quickly nods, puts Rex carefully to his side before he pulls a toy out of his bag. It’s a cloth ring, which Benjamin will already be able to grab and move, which he will be able to play with right away – or as soon as he’s interested in playing, which he isn’t yet. It has different things attached, out of different fabrics, in different colors, in different shapes, some of them making noises. It’s a lot to discover for a small child.  
Robbie also quickly explains: “I read that babies get into discovering really soon. He probably won’t be interested in it right away, but hopefully soon.”  
“Sounds good,” Beck says which it also does for Jade, and then he adds: “Thanks. To all three of you. It’s really awesome that you brought him his first presents.”  
“Are they his first?” Cat asks excited. She obviously would love to have been the first one to give him anything.  
Beck nods. “Yeah. My parents will bring something tomorrow apparently.”  
“My dad and his wife, too,” Jade adds bored.  
Beck of course didn’t know that yet. It’s also not important. He will see anyway tomorrow. He has known that Jade’s father planned to visit again tomorrow, which is enough.  
Anyway. Cat has now turned back to Benjamin in Jade’s arms: “And? How does it feel to get your first presents? It’s awesome, isn’t it? I also love to get presents! You will get so many more, during your life. Promise. You should get some every day of your life for your cuteness.”  
Benjamin now also finally looks at her and... with him being awake... Jade is sure it won’t be easy for her to now even give her little son to her friends, but she’s right here and she can just do it for a very short time. She’s sure it would mean the world to them, to also hold him at least shortly. And it means the world to her that they are here, that they really wanted to come, that they even thought about gifts, that they are excited to just see the little boy, that... that they are their friends. Not just Beck’s, but hers as well.  
She still takes a deep breath, before she finally tells Cat, her best friend: “If you sit absolutely still and make no sudden moves at all, you can hold him for a minute.”  
Cat looks up to her with big eyes. “Really?”  
She already seems to be absolutely delighted.  
Jade nods. She doesn’t need to check back with Beck. She knows it’s so much easier for him to have Benjamin be held by anyone else. He also already loves Benjamin so much and it’s also not like she loves him more and that’s why she doesn’t want to give him away. It’s just different, because Benjamin has been inside of her and it feels still weird that that’s not the case anymore.  
Cat changes her position, so she doesn’t sit on her knees on the couch anymore, but normally. Jade takes another deep breath, before she gently lies Benjamin into Cat’s arms, saying: “Just be careful.”  
Cat nods wildly, before she lowers her gaze into her own arms now, looking so happy as she feels the weight of the young boy.  
Well, it’s not too bad. Jade would’ve guessed it’s tougher for her to see Benjamin in Cat’s arms – but it’s easier then seeing him with Beck’s parents. Well, she also likes her friends better than Beck’s parents, trusts them more. Though she definitely trusts Beck’s parents as well; they have raised Beck quite successfully after all.  
“Hello, Benji,” Cat now sweetly says. “I’m your auntie.”  
Okay, no. “You are not.” Because she just isn’t.  
Cat pouts. “I am,” she claims and turns back to Benjamin again: “Don’t let your mommy tell you any different. My name is Cat and I’m totally your auntie.”  
Jade rolls her eyes, but doesn’t say anything about it anymore, especially as Cat then already looks back up to her and with her movement, she definitely shows she wants to give Benjamin back to Jade. Okay, wow. Jade can definitely handle this, all of her friends having Benjamin just as shortly as that.  
She takes the little boy back, that still has his eyes open and now also looks at Jade with his bright blue eyes. Okay, this is good. She feels good having Benjamin back, but she is also fine giving Robbie and Andre the same experience as Cat just now.  
So, she turns to Robbie, who sits next to Cat. “You also want to hold him?”  
Robbie also seems extremely happy to get asked. “Sure.”  
It’s obvious that Robbie has hold a baby before. He has a little sister, though the age difference is much smaller than that between Jade and her brother. But Robbie also takes Benjamin much easier than Cat, immediately supports his head with his hand, as Jade gives him Benjamin in front of Cat who leans back, before he lies him into his own arms.  
It’s the first time, Robbie addresses the small boy: “Hi. I’m Robbie. You can also call me Rob, if that’s easier for you to say. But I think Robbie is the easiest.” He looks at the little boy smiling, before he looks up and states happily: “This reminds me of the first time I held my sister.”  
Jade can imagine. Though for her it hasn’t at all felt like when she held her little brother for the first time, when she got to hold Benjamin for the first time. Well, with Jasper, she hasn’t just gone through birth herself or anything.  
Robbie now asks: “Should I give him to Andre?”  
He actually checks with Jade, specifically with Jade, if that’s okay with her. She nods and as Robbie turns and Andre takes him, she warns once more: “Careful.”  
“Got him,” Andre says and also looks to the little boy, now in his arms, in absolute delight. “Hey, little buddy,” he says and even frees one of his hands from under the baby to stroke over his cheek. “It’s me, Andre. You are so little. It’s incredible. Look at you.”  
“He can’t look at himself,” Cat says as Andre looks back up. “He doesn’t have a mirror.”  
Jade understands Andre looking up as a sign that he also is ready to give Benjamin back, which Jade is happy about. For a second she wants to stand up to get him, but Beck brushes with his hand over her back, as he stands up himself, gets the little baby, puts a few kisses on his cheeks, only to actually put him right back into Jade’s arms, before he sits down next to her on the arm rest again.  
God, is Jade thankful for him. He is an amazing boyfriend. Always, but especially at the moment. He is so understanding about her and her feelings with Benjamin. She didn’t even need to tell him now that she would like to have him back after giving him to their friends. That she needs the safety again to feel him herself, instead of just seeing Beck with him.  
She smiles as they share a kiss, while Robbie says: “You know, he would also not know yet that it’s him if he sees himself in the mirror. They are like one and a half years old or older when they start recognizing themselves.”  
“Really?” Cat asks curiously.  
Robbie nods and Andre says: “Huh. Well, I guess it’s understandable as of now. He probably doesn’t recognize anyone at the moment.”  
Which is true. Jade has also read that it takes some time for babies to actually be able to differentiate between their parents or anyone. Sure, familiar scents and voices can soothe them, but they actually don’t know who is who this early.  
But they don’t talk about that anymore, as that’s the moment, Robbie has finally picked up Rex again and has him say: “Why don’t I get to hold him?”  
Jade rolls her eyes. “You can hold him when you have arms that are strong enough for it.”  
“You could just lie him in my lap,” Rex suggests, but Jade definitely won’t do that: “No.”  
Andre decides to change the topic – thank, god –, before Rex gets to argue (though Jade is also sure, Robbie wouldn’t have made Rex argue this time, but whatever): “So, how is it with him?”  
That’s directed at her. Without a doubt, Beck already told them how he feels about the baby in school.  
But as if Jade would really talk about all her feelings right now, about how it’s actually going with Benjamin, how she still tears up all the time, how she feels incredibly warm every time she looks at him.  
She just shrugs: “Good.”  
“I’m so happy the birth went so well,” Cat now says, happily. “And that he’s such a healthy cute little boy.”  
“We all are,” Robbie agrees and Jade just nods, because there is nothing else to do.  
Andre is the one saying: “You really deserve your time home. Though you’re missing so much at school.”  
“Oh,” Cat instantly makes, looking at Beck: “Have you told her about what Sikowitz did?”  
And they start telling her everything, like literally everything, from school. Many stories, the actual interesting and funny ones, were already told to her by Beck, of course.  
But it’s nice to hear them again, to talk about it in their whole group, to hear so much. It’s great that their friends don’t just talk about the baby, don’t just ask about it, but actually talk to Jade like usual, about the usual topics. She realizes she was a little afraid that she suddenly only would be the mother now, not everything else she is as well. Everything else has been constantly about the baby since its birth – rightfully so, of course. It had to be about the baby and its care. But it’s nice that their friends also tell her about everything else.  
Or at least, as much as they can, until Robbie decides that they have occupied them for long enough, when Benjamin starts to scream and Jade is pretty certain he needs to be nursed.  
They leave relatively quickly, so Jade doesn’t have to leave the living room to feed Benjamin (as if she would do that in front of their friends – she does do it in front of Beck and her mother; not even Jasper as of now).  
Her mother comes back into the living room as soon as their friends are gone (being able to hear them leave from her room) and starts making dinner.

They are in her room afterwards, when Beck has Benjamin and after a while is pretty sure: “I think he filled his diaper.”  
He always assumed before that babies would cry the second they filled their diapers. Benjamin doesn’t necessarily apparently. At least, Beck is pretty sure, he needs to be changed now. There has been this certain smell as he has just now pulled him up and played with him a little bit.  
Jade scrunches up her nose as she stands up and obviously wants to take him. Beck stands up himself, as he asks: “Can I change him?”  
He has’t actually done that until now. There also haven’t been many opportunities, as he has been in school half the day. And as Jade actually takes care of Benjamin more over night than he does. He is willing to split it halfway, but she has told him, as long as she’s home, she can definitely take care of him more during night – which would have to change as soon as she has to go to school too.  
As she nurses and Beck also can’t do that, Jade generally takes him mostly, when Benjamin seems a little off or something. And Beck just hasn’t gotten around to changing his diaper somehow.  
He doesn’t know if Jade is okay with that though. She probably doesn’t love changing his diapers as that must be an awful job, but... she knows what she’s doing. She has done it until now with Benjamin – and has done it before with Jasper a few times years and years back actually. While Beck has no experience at all.  
“Of course,” Jade says though and sits back down on the couch.  
Well, okay. She really seems okay with it. And suddenly, Beck has to change a diaper. He totally wants to do it, also wants to take care of Benjamin as much as he can, but... it will be his first diaper change and he’s pretty unsure about it.  
“What should I watch to do?” he asks as he tries to remember everything, they talked about in birthing class, and what Jade did in the hospital. He has never really watched Jade changing a diaper. Here in the house not at all, in the hospital only very little.  
Jade snorts because of the question: “Just make sure everything is clean. And don’t barf all over him because of what you’ll see and smell.”  
“Okay,” Beck says with a grin himself. That sounds easy enough. Though... “Don’t even want to watch?” To make sure he’s doing it right?  
Jade rolls her eyes. “I do think you are able to change a diaper, Beck.”  
“I’ve never done it before,” he reminds her though. Does she really want to have his first try on their son, without even checking if he’s doing it alright?  
“I know,” Jade says. “Now go and do it before your son feels uncomfortable in his own poop.”  
So, Beck does.

When he’s back, Jade takes Benjamin again, cradles him in her arms as she asks: “And, baby? Did your daddy do an alright job? Yes, he did, didn’t he?” She drops a kiss onto his nose and Beck can’t help himself but pull Jade into a kiss with himself afterwards.  
They hold the kiss for a while, before they break apart and Beck thinks about turning back to his homework. They have talked about getting done with their whole school work today, so they would have the weekend – the first weekend ever for Benjamin – for themselves, just to enjoy, without having to do anything. Though Jade reminded them that they would have visitors tomorrow, and the day after that possibly as well; his parents and her father and her stepmother. At least not their friends, though Beck knows Jade enjoyed the time immensely. But they asked when they could come back, to see both Jade and Benjamin again (or Benji, as they insisted on calling him as that’s officially his nickname now). Jade suggested for them to come back in a week, just repeat this next Friday, which Beck agreed to and their friends also happily accepted.  
Beck definitely also doesn’t need them over every day. Not only that he also sees them in school... He likes his time with Jade and Benjamin alone and with everyone important having met the little boy and even having spend some time with him after the weekend, maybe, they can have more of time with just the three of them.  
Anyway... before Beck can concentrate on the homework again, Jade suddenly asks him: “Have you thought about having godparents for Benjamin?”  
Beck looks back to her in surprise: “I haven’t. Have you?” She must have if she asks him about it now.  
“Sure,” she answers, looking at Benjamin as she says: “He should have some, shouldn’t he have? People who also priorities him, who are there for him, who... you know...” She looks up to him. “...can call themselves something, so they know they are special in our child’s life?”  
Okay, his first thought would’ve gone to Jasper, Jade’s dear brother, as she mentioned godparents. But... “I would’ve thought about Jasper at first, but the way you say it...”  
Jade disregards the mention of Jasper with a wave of her hand: “He will be his uncle forever, no matter what, and he will know it. But...” She looks at Benjamin another moment, then back at him, as she shrugs: “Maybe, our friends should also know they... mean something to our baby. To Benji.”  
Why hasn’t Beck thought of that? Obviously that would be awesome. Their friends would love it. And they totally would deserve to actually have a nameable role in their child’s life. They have been so supportive during the pregnancy, not much with words, but even more with actions.  
“I think they would love that,” Beck therefore says. “I would, too. We should tell them, when they are over next week.”  
Jade looks at him for another moment, before she nods, and... god, how can he still fall in love with her deeper every day, every moment?  
He has to kiss her again and this time, they kiss for a long time.


	16. Leaving the house

Jade’s father and Stephanie visit Saturday morning before lunch.  
“You look really amazing, Jade,” Stephanie says as a greeting, which makes Jade roll her eyes.  
Jade’s mother offers them to sit on the couch – like it isn’t awkward that they are here. Beck sits right next to Jade, who holds the little boy, Jasper on her other side. He has just now “played” with Benjamin in Jade’s arms. For a change, the newborn actually is awake and even moves quite a bit and grabs whatever Jasper hands him.  
Jade’s mother also asks Stephanie and Jade’s father if they would like something to drink, which Stephanie declines, saying they don’t want to occupy too much of their time and just wanted to shortly drop off their present and say hi.  
She shows them the onesies she brought, which both also look decent enough that Jade can dress her son in them. But Jade mainly looks at her father, who doesn’t follow the conversation about the present, but instead actually tries to look at Benjamin from the point at which he sits. And... Well... Everyone else of Benjamin’s grandparents have long held him, so Jade promptly stands up, doesn’t even ask, just pushes the little boy into her father’s arms.  
“Have him for a sec,” she says, before she sits back down, fleetingly looking at Beck, who might not like this, because he is okay with giving Benjamin shortly into everyone’s arms, but maybe not into her father’s, when he doesn’t like him.  
But he just takes her hand and Jade is sure to see in his face that it’s fine for him.  
While her mother now also gingerly sits on the couch, on the far end of it, next to Stephanie, her father looks down into his arms, with Benjamin looking right back at him.  
“Hello, Benjamin,” he says and his voice isn’t as steady and cold as usual. “I’m your grandfather. This is Stephanie.”  
Stephanie has long leaned over his shoulder to also get a good look at her step-grandson.  
“Hello,” she now says with a bright smile. Jade knows that she never wanted to have children of her own, but apparently she still likes children. “Aren’t you a cutie?” And she turns to her husband: “Did Jade look like that when she was a baby?”  
“A little,” her father actually answers. “He has the same nose.”  
Jade furrows her brows. “He doesn’t.” She loves Benjamin’s nose but she’s pretty sure she didn’t look like that. And somehow, it’s awkward for her to have her father talk about her as a baby. Her mother is different somehow.  
But that same mother now also puts in, with a smile: “He does, Jade, believe me.”  
Okay, then. This got even more awkward. She stands back up to get her child back. Her father does give him back without them needing to exchange a word.  
When she sits back down, Beck strokes over Benjamin’s cheek with his thumb and yeah, she doesn’t think Beck is conciously thinking about it, but it’s almost as if he wants to show her father now, what an actual father looks like, how lovingly a father can handle his child. He should knock himself out.  
Jade hands Benjamin over to him and he immediately takes the boy with the warmest smile and drops a kiss onto his forehead, while Jade’s father is the one between him and his wife, who asks Jade: “How are you doing?”  
“Fine,” Jade says and shrugs. So far, it’s going much better than she expected. But Benjamin also is only four days old now, so...  
Though she has read before that not all mothers immediately bond with their children, that some have trouble... loving the child like they feel they should. That apparently happens more frequently than you would think. With everyone assuming she couldn’t be a good mother, Jade was quite afraid that exactly that would happen to her. She is glad that it didn’t. She loves Benjamin to the end of the world already, she finds it easy to pick him up when he cries, to comfort him, to be with him.  
So, yeah, she’s doing good so far.  
Stephanie then asks if they are still getting used to having Benjamin around, which they do, and... that’s it. Jade’s father and Stephanie leave and as soon as they are out of the door, Jasper turns to his and Jade’s mother: “Now, I wanna see baby pictures of Jade.”  
“You won’t,” Jade immediately cuts in, slightly irritated at that sudden request.  
“I do,” Jasper answers. “I wanna check how similiar you and Benjamin really look.”  
“Let’s see,” their mother easily says and actually goes to the cupboard and gets the photo album out, that has the childhood pictures of Jade in it.  
“I also want to see,” Beck says with a grin and Jade rolls her eyes: “Ugh.”  
She can’t believe it, but before she knows it, her mother has sat down on the couch, Jasper and Beck to both her sides, showing them Jade’s baby pictures. Jade only looks a little over Beck’s shoulder, can’t believe at all that this is happening, as her mother even tells a few stories to the pictures. She has never done this before – though it’s also not like anybody has asked before.  
Every now and then, Beck turns to Jade with a smirk, or to Benjamin, who is back in Jade’s arms, and tells him to look at a certain picture and see how cute his mother looked there.  
Jasper insists afterwards for all of them to also look at his photo album (mentioning that they definitely have to take a lot of photos of Benjamin as well, have to print them out and make an album like that).  
So, they do, Beck even seeming happy to also see those pictures. Well, Jade also is on some of them, holding Jasper or playing with him or something.  
As Jasper is full of glee as their mother tells them stories about him, Jade of course also tells a few as they look through the album. And with her having so much to say and therefore not wanting to leave the situation, and Jasper being occupied by the album anyway, Jade nurses Benjamin for the first time around him, while they are right in the middle of the album.

They eat lunch afterwards and then, Beck and Jade go into Jade’s room with Benjamin to get some time to themselves.  
When they get back down, Jade’s mother tells them that her parents wanted to come to visit. She told them that they now had a great-grandson and they immediately wanted to come over. Well, if there are people, Jade doesn’t want to see right now, listening to them talking bad about Beck...  
She doesn’t need to say anything about it though, as her mother says she told them no and that Jade will visit them when she feels like it.  
Jade will only do that during Spring break, when Benjamin is already four weeks old – she will also visit her father’s parents with Benjamin then, and finally her father and Stephanie again, where Stephanie gets to hold Benjamin for the first time as well.  
Beck’s grandparents will come from Canada the weekend before, Benjamin still three weeks old, and Jade allows them, first under her watchful eye, to hold him as well. All of their grandparents, of Benjamin’s great-grandparents, don’t really have a feeling for Jade though, partly just take him out of Jade’s arms without asking, holding him for too long. Jade clearly has to demand getting her son back, which her grandparents are as offended about as Beck’s, though hers also say so, while his don’t. Funnily enough, Jade would’ve expected Leah to make a comment, as she’s with them when her parents and parents-in-law meet Benjamin, but she doesn’t. While she usually hates Jade being demanding in any way, speaking harshly at all, she somehow doesn’t look scolding at her this time. As if she understands.  
Jade is glad either way, that Beck’s grandparents are only there for the weekend (and even leaves them alone for a while – with Beck of course staying with their son –, so she doesn’t have to make herself go crazy watching them with her child). And she’s glad to be just able to leave her grandparent’s houses with her son herself.  
Either way... Right now, with Benjamin being four days old, she’s happy she doesn’t have to see her grandparents at all.  
Beck’s parents come though, only shortly after Beck, Jade and Benjamin are in the living room again. They bring a present of their own (not just a small stuffed bear, which they have kind of announced before, but also a hat that actually also looks nice enough for Jade’s son to wear) and stay for about an hour, asking about Benjamin, about Jade’s well-being, about Beck’s school.  
They say they will very likely come back next weekend and that Beck should text or call them at least once a day like usual, so they know he and his child are okay.

Jade has a calm week. Her mother shows her (and also Beck when he’s there; if he’s still in school when her mother shows her something, she makes sure to show him alone in her room in the evening) many different ways to hold Benjamin, how to swaddle him, how to bathe and massage him.  
It’s nothing her mother sits her down to do, they are small tips here and there, especially when Benjamin cries, she makes suggestions. She never takes Benjamin out of her arms though and always stops talking when Jade reacts annoyed to one of her suggestions. Well, her mother does know how she works and how to get to her best, how to actually make her listen. Because her gentle way of teaching Jade how to take care of her baby, makes it Jade easy to ask for it, to ask how to do it better. Her mother never answers in a way that makes her feel dumb or takes anything away from her.  
What her mother never needs to tell her is that singing soothes a child. When she is alone with Benjamin somewhere in the house, changing his diaper for example, she starts singing to him sometimes and realizes how curious he looks at her, every time she does.  
On Wednesday, Beck hears her at it for the first time. They are in Jade’s room together and Benjamin is whining more than crying. Jade has made a few “sh”s, but that doesn’t change anything. She’s sure, he would calm down if she would sing to him. But singing for Benjamin isn’t the same like her usual singing. She hasn’t needed for her mother or Jasper to hear it yet. Does she want to have Beck around?  
On the other hand... They spend so much of their time together. Sooner or later, Beck will be there anyway when she sings for Benjamin – or she will barely do it, which is stupid if it calms Benjamin down so easily, right?  
So, as she’s going up and down in her room, rocking Benjamin, while Beck sits on the couch, trying to do his homework, she quietly starts to sing ‘Somewhere over the rainbow’.  
Benjamin calms down in an instant, but as Jade turns around to walk in Beck’s direction again, Beck doesn’t do his homework anymore, watches her instead, his head slightly tilted.  
“What?” she says, as soon as she’s done with the song. She doesn’t want him to make a big deal out of this, to mention anything about her singing. She doesn’t know why. It’s something so personal.  
But sure enough, Beck has to comment, especially after being prompted: “This is the loveliest thing I’ve ever heard or seen.”  
Okay, maybe, he is allowed to comment like that, as is also sounds so honest that it warms her heart a little. She has to say though: “That’s stupid.”  
“It’s true,” Beck says and finally smiles softly. “Do you sing to him every and all morning?”  
“No,” Jade answers because she doesn’t. She shrugs: “I just realized on Monday that it calms him down a great deal.” So, she hasn’t done it every morning since Benjamin is born. And she has barely done it in general until now.  
“I can imagine,” Beck answers. “Always this song?”  
Benjamin starts to whine again, while Jade answers: “Until now, yes. It was the first I was able to think of on Monday, that was age appropriate.” There are some songs out there that she likes that have themes she probably shouldn’t confront her son with this early.  
“I love it,” Beck says and he actually does.  
But Jade won’t just sing like that in front of him again – if he watches her anyway and doesn’t continue with his homework. So, as Benjamin is whining again, she promptly demands: “Come and sing it with me.”  
They have sung together before. If they listen to music together, it happens anyway that they both sing along. But also, if someone sings absent mindly under their breath or something, while they spend time with each other, it happens that the other just joins in.  
Now, Beck promptly stands up, steps behind Jade, wrapping his arms around her and their son in her arms.  
As they sing their first song together for their child and the baby quickly calms down again, looking curiously in both their faces, Jade feels an incredible warmth inside of her.

 

The Monday, Benjamin almost a week old, is also the first time, Beck, Jade and he take a walk through the near-by park. Jade needs to get out and they are sure, fresh air is good for a child. Beck’s old buggy has been at Jade’s anyway since they got it out of the basement of his parent’s house, as they knew Benjamin would be at Jade’s place at first.  
They go on another walk again on Tuesday and, on Wednesday when Beck has just come out of school and he, Jade and Benjamin are up in Jade’s room again, Beck asks after a while: “Wanna go on a walk again?”  
Jade hasn’t left the house until now and possibly should, but... “I don’t feel like it.”  
Beck looks at her for a moment, before he nods: “Okay.”  
It is indeed okay for him. Right now, he stands in the middle of the room anyway and kind of plays with Benjamin, moves around with him, up and down (everything of course very slowly, as the boy still is so small), kisses him all over.  
Jade sits on the couch and directly wanted to get some of her school work done. She also always does some things during the morning, but she feels like there’s never an end to it. She also never has too much time without interruption. Benjamin sleeps mostly, but he still is awake regularly and needs care. She also is tired as she doesn’t get to sleep through the night, so she gets a few hours sleep over the day as well. And then, she still has to eat and tries not to have the whole cleaning for the house on her mother. Which makes her start with her work for school all the time, only to have just a few minutes at it before stopping again for something else, seemingly more important.  
Like now. She lies her pen back down as she looks to Beck, who moves Benjamin around again, happily.  
Gently, she suggests: “You can go on your own.”  
Beck lies Benjamin in his arms, looking back to her. “With Benjamin?”  
He doesn’t seem to believe it. Because he hasn’t really been alone with Benjamin at all now. Only when Jade has been in the bathroom or he himself has taken Benjamin to change him (which he now almost does exclusively during the late afternoons and evenings, because Jade takes care of it over night and in the mornings). Other than that, Jade has always been around.  
She doesn’t think it influences Beck’s behavior around Benjamin much. She knows it helped herself to already have time alone with Benjamin in the hospital, just to learn how to... be with him without anyone watching, so she had the security to also handle him like that with people watching. She thinks, Beck does more than fine without that.  
But why shouldn’t he go on a walk with Benjamin by himself? Just the two of them? Sure, he shouldn’t be gone for an hour or something, but Jade also has nursed, right before Beck started playing with Benjamin, so he doesn’t necessarily needs her around right now.  
“Yeah,” she therefore answers. “Not for too long. But maybe like... twice around the block or something?” For a start. To get herself used to not have Benjamin just next door, but further away from herself.  
Beck watches her closely. “Are you sure?”  
He obviously doesn’t want to take Benjamin away from Jade if she doesn’t feel sure enough about it.  
And it’s not like she’s in love with the idea of not seeing Benjamin even for a while (she doesn’t know how Beck ever survives those long days at school as he might have not carried Benjamin inside of him but he also loves him to the end of the world), but she is sure that Beck should get some time alone with Benjamin, that they totally should go on a walk on their own.  
“Yeah. Let’s say half an hour. I’ll call you when I suddenly feel differently about it.”  
He can have his phone on him and they then could even meet half-way if she suddenly feels like she needs to see her son desperately. But she’s sure she can make half an hour. She has spent almost as long in the bathroom sometimes, when she has showered and directly brushed her teeth or something. She was able to hear him from there of course, if he cried. She was close enough to immediately get him. She won’t be with this. But it’s not like she’s abondoning her child or giving him to a stranger or something. He will be with his father.  
“Are you really sure?” Beck checks again.  
And Jade knows he means well, but gosh, how she hates questions like that, especially now as she has already said she’s sure.  
So, she stands up and walks up to boyfriend and son, as she says: “Don’t ask again, Beck. I swear.”

She takes her paper for school with her downstairs, after she put Benjamin in appropriate clothes for outside. Then, she sends them on their way.  
Her mother and Jasper are both in the kitchen. Jasper is sitting at the table, doing his homework, while her mother already prepares dinner. Since she is home, she has cooked much bigger meals than ever before. Well, she otherwise only comes home just in time to prepare a ‘normal’ dinner, after working the whole day.  
As Jade goes to sit down at the kitchen table herself (she decided to stay here, so she’ll directly be with Benjamin as soon as Beck is back), her mother stops in her preparations and raises her eyebrows at her: “You’re letting them go on their own?”  
She shrugs. “I don’t feel like a walk but they should go out.”  
She sits down next to Jasper, who promptly glances over to the paper she puts on the table – as if he could copy some of his hoemwork off of it. Of course, she smirks and shoves his head slightly away with her hand.  
She still feels her mother watching her though and turns back to her to tell her off, when she already speaks again: “Don’t pressure yourself about letting go of Benjamin, okay? Only let him go as far as you feel comfortable. He is barely a week old now.”  
Jade knows her mother also means good, just like Beck always does, but gosh, why can’t they believe she knows what she’s doing? Pointedly, she says: “I know, but I want Back to have some time with him. And I can trust Beck.”  
Her mother nods. “I know and I’m glad about that. But don’t force yourself to anything, okay?”  
Jade understands where her mother is coming from. Yes, she shouldn’t force herself to let go of Benjamin quickly, just because she thinks she should. She shouldn’t give him out of her arms if she doesn’t feel like it, shouldn’t give him away. But, with a smirk, she assures: “You know I never would let myself be forced to anything by anyone.”  
Her mother smirks as well, like she barely does but Jade always likes to see it: “Then, I raised you right.”

 

They go on another walk together on Thursday, while Beck goes alone on Friday. Andre still wants to talk to his music teacher about a big project he would still like to do until finals, which is why their friends have said they would only come two hours after school to make sure, Andre is done with his talk and also can get home at least shortly, maybe get some time off before the visit.  
So, Beck has time for the walk, which he enjoys immensely. He of course would like Jade to be with him as much as her letting him go on his own with their son. But yes, Jade letting them go, her really proving her trust to him like this... it means a lot. And it also does feel nice to have a few minutes alone with Benjamin, also when he takes care of him at night or when Jade is in the bathroom or something. Just to feel for himself that he’s as responsible as Jade, that he is part of Benjamin’s life as much as she is.  
Jade’s mother and Jasper leave the living room again when their friends come – this time only when they ring the door bell and already come inside, so short greetings are exchanged and Robbie and Andre also finally get to meet Jade’s mother and her brother. (Cat has met them before; also has stayed the night before.)  
Cat greets the two of them now while she’s hugging Jade, who has opened the door this time, while Beck has remained seated on the couch with Benjamin in his arms.  
Then, Cat somehow also manages to be the first to be with Beck, leaning over Benjamin and saying excitedly: “Hello again, Benji! You look even smaller today!”  
Jade pushes Robbie away, who seems in the process of wanting to hug her for a greeting and lets him and Andre also inside, before closing the door behind them.  
They again all get to hold Benjamin, this time longer then the prior week, and they again talk a lot about school, before Andre asks interested: “When will you be back anyway?”  
Beck can’t help but be surprised. He hasn’t actually thought at all about the fact that Jade would want to go back soon since the birth. He hasn’t thought that they would soon have to organize Benjamin around both of them going to school, that they would have to find ways to take care of him there.  
As he looks at Jade, he realizes though that Jade also hasn’t thought about it yet. She has done her school work, but also hasn’t thought about going back soon. Well, maybe she only will go back for finals.  
“I don’t know yet,” she says and Robbie smiles: “It will probably still take some time, huh?” He understands. They all do. They get that Jade might not be able to go back just like that, especially as they see Jade now again with Benjamin safely in her arms.  
Jade shrugs and Beck finally speaks up: “We’ll see. We actually haven’t talked about it yet.”  
Cat changes the topic after that.  
They stay for an hour and with a glance to the clock, Robbie then says: “We should probably leave.”  
Cat may pout, but Andre nods and Cat probably is willing to leave with them, when Jade says though: “There is just one more thing.”  
Everyone looks at her expectantly, including Beck. For a moment, he doesn’t know what it is. Then, he remembers their talk from a week ago. She has asked him yesterday again if he might already have told them after all, which he hasn’t. About them wanting their friends to be godparents for their son. They have agreed to tell them today, together. Beck has forgotten about it again, just like during the week in general. Well, he also has the crazyness of that school in his life, has to remember to call his parents every day, and then his newborn son...  
Now, he remembers though as they look at each other. Jade looks back and after a moment, she says to him: “Tell them.”  
Okay, so she actually doesn’t want to ask them to be Benjamin’s godparents. Because she doesn’t want to make it seem like it was her idea – though it was –, as that will tell them how much she loves them. And Jade doesn’t tell people how much she loves them, that she loves them at all. It’s always hard for her.  
But Beck will make sure they know this isn’t on him, that he just agreed: “Jade had the idea...”  
Jade interrupts, glaring at him: “We talked about the fact that Benjamin should have godparents.”  
Beck has to smile, as he turns to their friends, who must understand that indeed Jade thought of this, when he adds: “We want you to be that.”  
Their eyes widen and Cat asks: “Really?”  
“Are you serious?” Andre also checks while Robbie grins: “That’s wonderful!”  
Promptly, Cat turns to Benjamin in Jade’s arms: “I’m not just your auntie, Benji, I’m your godmother!” She looks back up to her friends with shining eyes. “I can be his fairy godmother and fulfill him every wish.”  
Well, sure, why not?  
Beck looks down to his son himself, over Jade’s shoulder. He will be one lucky kid with godparents like this.  
Rex speaks up: “Sick. That makes me somewhat his father.”  
Okay, no. Beck knows it won’t make much of a difference how much Rex will be around Benjamin, if they pretend he is his godfather as well or not. He’s also sure it won’t do his son any harm in either case; Robbie may live out his darker and meaner side through Rex but he will always make Rex treat Benjamin well, Beck is sure of that.  
But they don’t like Rex all that much. He is around because Robbie needs him around and that’s fine. But making Robbie believe they want Rex as much in that role as him?  
It’s Jade, who already clearly states, while Beck still thinks about it: “You won’t be his godfather.”  
Rex seems furious: “You want those dumbos” – he makes a gesture to Andre, Cat and Robbie – “but not me as his godparent?”  
“Yes,” Beck confirms.  
Only then, Robbie carefully asks: “What about me?”  
Yes, because he thinks they are more friends with Rex than with him which is ridiculous. Jade rolls her eyes, while Beck clearly answers: “You will be one if his godfathers. Just not Rex.”  
Robbie smiles, but still lets Rex react: “Wow. I seriously thought you were cool and not nerds like him.”  
He again makes a gesture to Robbie and Jade glares at Rex: “Shut up.”  
He does. Robbie understands that that doesn’t mean him though and says: “Well, I’m happy to be his godfather.”  
“Me, too,” Andre chimes in, even with a proud look in his face.  
Cat meanwhile decides: “I should buy a sparkling dress and should always wear that around him from now on.” To truly be his fairy godmother. Gosh.  
Without a doubt, Jade also wants to keep her from running around like that for the next eighteen years or something. At least, she says: “I think you also can be his fairy godmother without a dress like that.”

 

When their friends are gone and they have eaten dinner again with Caitlyn and Jasper, they go upstairs into Jade’s room again. It’s there that Beck finally gets around to ask, with both of them back to their papers for school anyway: “What do you think about going back to school?”  
Jade looks up, glances to Benjamin that lies in his crib right now, then looks to Beck again, shrugging: “I definitely don’t feel ready yet.”  
“Maybe, you should just go to school for finals,” Beck suggests. She doesn’t need to go to school before that, and that way Benjamin would be safe at home with her.  
Jade definitely isn’t happy with that idea though. Quite harshly, she says: “Do you have any idea how much I miss? And I don’t mean all those weird things happening at school, but everything. Only getting the papers is so different than actually hearing the teachers talk. And I’m missing pretty much everything for the artistic classes.”  
That’s true. She doesn’t get to act or perform in any way, doesn’t get to do those project. She has outdone herself before and she probably would get graded on her work until now, as they don’t really do finals in their artistic classes. She will still have good grades this way. But it’s not the same for her. She wants to be in those classes, she wants to do the work. Because she likes it.  
“What does that mean?” he asks after a moment. Will she want to go back like... next week? He knows it’s stupid and she wouldn’t like to hear it, but he’s sure that would be too soon for her. And for their son, as they do want to try to take him to school with him then. But they can’t take him to that loud place yet, can they?  
“I don’t know,” Jade says though, seems to think about it herself for a moment, glances to Benjamin again, then: “How about we wait until he is... three weeks old and then we talk about it again?”  
He can live with that, which is why he promptly answers: “Okay.” They share a kiss.  
Benjamin is still only ten days old. They will have those many days and one more, before they will think about it again. Which means that Jade definitely also doesn’t feel ready yet and doesn’t think Benjamin is as well. Beck is glad about it. He hopes they won’t ever have to argue about stuff like that.

 

His parents want to come over on Sunday, so that they have a completely free Saturday (with her father and her stepmother not planning to necessarily visit again, but waiting for Jade to be able to come to them).  
He, Jade and Benjamin go on a slightly longer walk than the days before as Jade also is able to stand for longer times by now and to walk longer distances.  
She’s still more than glad when they are back in the house.  
They eat lunch with the family and then lie down again. Jade nurses Benjamin afterwards, still lying down, and Beck goes to change him after that. When he comes back into the room, where she still lies on the bed, he plays with Benjamin again, only for the boy to get distracted by Jade’s butterfly collection. At least, he looks into that direction, and Beck promptly tells him about the collection and everything else in the room, while Jade listens to him with a smirk and makes a comment every now and then.  
She loves her room and she loves the way, Beck talks about it, as if he actually loves it just as much.  
She sits up, while they talk like that, and finally, Beck says: “I’m excited to also show you my home one day. Your second home.”  
Yes, Benjamin’s second home. And Beck’s home where he hasn’t really been for more than three weeks, as he has pratically moved in when Jade stopped going to school. He can of course go back whenever he wants, but he naturally also wants to spend tme with Benjamin. Who only is ten days old, but...  
“Why not go there right now?”  
Beck turns to her in surprise: “Really?”  
She answers: “Yeah. Why not?”  
Beck blinks. “Can we just... take him?” he asks carefully.  
And well, why shouldn’t they? On the other hand... Yes, he’s only ten days old. Can they just put him into the car and go somewhere with him? Most likely not just for half an hour like to the park but possibly for some hours?  
Finally, she decides, though she never enjoys that option: “Let’s talk to my mom.”  
She takes Benjamin in her own arms, then they go downstairs together. Jasper must be in his own room, at least her mother is sitting alone in the living room and watches some series she always likes to watch on Saturday – and yes, which Jasper and Jade both consider stupid and boring, so naturally Jasper isn’t around.  
“Mom,” Jade pulls her mother’s attention to herself, as soon as they are in the living room. “Is it okay if we drive over to Beck’s?”  
Her mother seems confused at the question. Jade also usually doesn’t ask if she can go to Beck’s, especially since she has a car and can drive there on her own. “Yeah, sure. Why not?”  
“I don’t know,” she answers. “Is it fine for the baby?”  
Her mother promptly answers: “It’s your child, so it’s your decision. Trust your instinct. If you think it’s too much for him, then don’t. If you think he’ll be fine, then do.”  
“Okay,” Jade answers and turns back to Beck: “Then let’s go.”  
Beck looks at her with a bright smile and that’s pretty much worth everything. Though she definitely feels fine with this decision anyway, without that smile as well. She thinks, Benjamin will be more than okay, especially as she and Beck will both be around.  
“Awesome. Do we need to take anything?” he asks.  
They decide they don’t. They have clothes at his place, everything for changing... she’s still nursing. So, they are good to go.  
They lie Benjamin into the baby seat and then go outside. Jade puts the baby seat in Beck’s car, behind the driver’s seat and makes sure, everything is safe, while she tells the little boy: “Wanna go to your daddy’s place? Of course, you do.”  
When she’s done, Beck is already waiting for her behind the door and pulls her into a happy kiss.

 

He’s excited to show his son his home, though he knows the boy doesn’t care yet. Jade tells him to just leave the seat in the car, to take him out of it and inside in his arms, which Beck does. Jade takes the key from him, while he gets their son out of the seat, and she opens the door of the RV and is inside first with him following with Benjamin.  
While he finally gets back into his RV, he tells his boy: “Baby, now you’ll see how Daddy lives. This is my RV. I hope you will like it, too. Look, that’s the bed you were conceived in.”  
“Beck,” Jade scolds and with an innocent look he turns back to her. While he has gone inside, she has closed the door behind them and may have scolded him but smirks nonetheless.  
“What?” he says as if he doesn’t know what he did wrong.  
Jade’s smirk gets wider. “Our poor innocent child.”  
Beck shrugs with a smile: “I’m sure he will hear worse over time.” Especially with Jade as a mother, though he and his friends are honestly not much better. And it’s not like they will suddenly change everything about themselves, just because there is a child. They probably won’t watch horror movies with Benjamin around, but they will still talk about those, Jade will still talk about and love creepy stuff and Beck will still love to see her indulge in that. So, showing Benjamin where he has been conceived is really nothing.  
Jade’s smirk gets wider still and she promptly pulls Beck into a long kiss.

Benjamin definitely feels comfortable in the RV. Jade does, too. She’s glad to be back. Beck must have missed being home, she missed the RV too somehow.  
They order pizza for dinner and it’s after that, when they have put Benjamin in Beck’s old crib, where he’s now in a deep sleep, while Beck and Jade watch TV on the couch, that Jade suddenly asks: “Do you wanna stay here over night?”  
Beck looks at her with a furrowed brow. He doesn’t seem to be sure what she means, so she makes clear: “With me and Benji.”  
That makes Beck’s face light up again. He obviously likes that idea. “If that’s okay and you want to.”  
She kisses him. She does want to. She has missed the RV as well, after all, has missed the scent here. She loves her own room, but also the RV. And Benjamin definitely feels comfortable here too, so...  
“Yeah. I’ll call my mom to let her know.”  
Beck nods and Jade stands up, because she deems it weird to call her mother while sitting in Beck’s arm where she has just been. She walks over to the crib, while she calls her mother.  
“Yes?” her mother picks up.  
“Hey. We are thinking of staying here for the night,” she says.  
Her mother answers: “Okay. Thanks for calling.”  
So, it’s that easy?  
Benjamin opens his eyes and promptly starts whining. Jade starts rubbing his belly, while looking to Beck, who watches her anyway while she’s talking on the phone. She jerks her head in Benjamin’s direction and Beck understands her, gets up, walks over and takes Benjamin in his arms, while Jade steps slightly away. Beck can rock him and be with him, while Jade is still on the phone.  
And she can’t hang up just yet. She feels still unsure, despite what her mother said to them earlier and how easy she reacts now. “It’s okay, isn’t it?” she finally asks.  
“Of course,” her mother answers. “If Benjamin feels good there, it’s more than fine. Just please, if you haven’t done already, tell Beck’s parents, so they can react quickly in case of an emergency and they don’t have to understand first that their grandson is over.”  
That makes sense. “Sure,” Jade therefore answers. “Okay. Then see you tomorrow.”  
“Yeah, see you tomorrow,” her mother says and with that, they hang up.  
“So, we’ll stay for the night?” Beck immediately asks with a bright smile, when she turns around to him, putting her phone back into the pocket of her jeans.  
She nods, walks up to him, wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him, their baby between them in his arms. He of course returns the kiss and only after they break apart again, Jade says: “She wants us to tell your parents though.” Beck furrows his brow again, and Jade explains: “So that they know for an emergency.”  
“Okay,” Beck says. “Wanna go right away?”  
She nods, before they kiss again.

Jade takes Benjamin in her arms and Beck leads the way into his parents’ home.  
It’s not like he has been here often over the last three weeks, but before the birth, he has been over every now and then. Which is why his parents might not be too surprised to see him, but don’t suspect Jade and Benjamin following him inside.  
They sit in the living room, watching TV themselves, but look up as Beck walks in.  
Beck greets them and they greet back, only seeing Jade after that with his mother suddenly standing up: “Oh, hi.”  
“Hi,” Jade answers, almost keeping in the background a little, as if she doesn’t like the thought of anyone suggesting they spend time together right now.  
Beck also wants to have the rest of the evening and the night just for the two of them (or rather the three of them), which is why he shortly explains: “We just wanted to tell you that Jade and Benjamin will stay over.”  
Both his parents seem surprised but pleased. “Oh, thanks for telling us. Do you need anything?” his mother asks.  
“No, I think we have everything,” he answers.  
She checks: “Want to eat something?”  
He shakes his head. “We ordered earlier.”  
“Okay,” she says and then makes sure: “Will you eat breakfast with us?”  
Beck likes that she asks as they usually are expected to for some reason. He looks to Jade, isn’t sure what she thinks, but she already answers: “Yes.”  
Which is great. Beck likes the thought of now living that new family life with his parents too, not just with Jade’s mother and brother.  
“Then have a good night,” his mother says with a smile and Beck smiles right back: “Thanks. You, too.”

 

They have a really good evening and night. Beck even gets to snap some beautiful pictures of Jade with Benjamin in the RV, which he loves.  
Benjamin sleeps just as well in the RV as in Jade’s room, which they deem a good thing.  
The next morning they eat breakfast with his parents like promised and then even stay inside until lunch and spend time with them, giving them long hours with their grandson. They also eat lunch together, before Beck, Jade and Benjamin are on their way again, back to Jade’s home.


	17. His mother

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, my lovely readers!  
> As you might remember: This story is supposed to be a one shot collection, so every chapter could be read as a one shot. While that wasn’t all that true for the last few chapter since Benji’s birth, it is for this chapter. It describes the relationship between Jade and Beck’s mother – expect time jumps, some bigger than others.  
> Something didn’t make this story, though I always thought it would. But now, it felt forced to have Leah just talk about it, so I’m telling you here: Leah and her own mother-in-law aren’t on the best terms. The mother-in-law always was up in Leah’s business when Beck was small and they still lived in Canada and close to her. She constantly “knew better”. As Leah knows how awful that is and how that made her give Beck to her own mother-in-law even less, she herself tries to do better with Jade and Benji and tries to not meddle too much. Hope that explains a little bit about her behaviour.  
> Now, enjoy the new chapter!

Jade’s mother is supposed to go back to work on Monday, the twentieth March, Benjamin thirteen days old.  
It’s on the Sunday before that when Jade and Beck are inside Beck’s home with Benjamin for the first time, spending time with Beck’s parents from breakfast to lunch, that Leah addresses Jade: “Uhm, Jade. As your mother must have told you: I will be home during next week. I now wanted to ask how you would like it. Do you only want me to come by when there’s an emergency, or...?”  
Jade’s mother had told Jade on Thursday already that she and Leah had talked on the phone and that she thinks it would be smart to let Leah make lunch for Jade. Which is ridiculous because Jade can make herself something to eat. Apparently, Leah would really like to help out though and Jade knows her own mother likes the thought of someone coming by at the middle of the day and making sure, everything is still running smoothly. And she told Jade that it will be much easier if she doesn’t have to make herself food, which is true, but... anyway...  
Beck of course was there while Jade and her mother talked (as Leah only was able to call Caitlyn late afternoon and Jade’s mother directly told her about it). He assured Jade that his mother would love to make her lunch, which is stupid. Leah still doesn’t like her and that’s obvious, even though she tries to be nice to Jade. Why should she want to make her lunch then?  
Which is why Jade now also says: “You don’t have to cook something for me for lunch or something.”  
“I could still come by around lunch and you could decide each day what to do about food,” Leah suggests. “We could also cook something together or you could tell me right away that I can leave again, so you can sleep, or I could help with housework...”  
Jade definitely doesn’t want her to help in the house and knows her mother also wouldn’t like that thought. She knows her mother also doesn’t like the thought of her moving around in their kitchen, the unfamiliar woman, right with her nose in all their things. But her mother strangely still would like Jade to give this woman the possibility to do something for her. She would like for Jade to relax and have someone else make her food, as she has to take care of her child.  
Well, and Jade might not like that thought, but... maybe she will feel differently about it tomorrow when she’s home alone and will be happy that someone, anyone, is there, even Beck’s mother. So, if she wants to so badly, she should come over.  
“Yeah, I guess,” she therefore finally agrees and Leah even makes sure, she has her number and the home number of the Olivers in her phone, just in case, something is wrong and Jade indeed wants to reach her. Jade is sure she never will call either of those numbers.

 

Monday morning, her own mother makes sure she has everything she needs and also tells her to let Leah help out, to which Beck again expresses his support.  
And soon enough, Jade is home alone with her baby for the first time. And it’s gonna be a long day for her alone. Jasper will spend the afternoon with a friend (which their mother organized), so Beck will be the first one home after his school day.  
But Jade is fine. It’s not like her mother has ever intervened with her taking care of Benjamin or has done it for her. Jade is able to do this on her own. And for lunch, Leah truly comes over.  
She rings the doorbell and immediately greets her, as Jade opens the door with Benjamin in her arms: “Hello, Jade.” She of course also turns to the little boy: “Hello, Benjamin.”  
“Hey,” Jade answers. “Come inside.”  
She should at least invite her in. And she doesn’t totally feel opposed to company right now. Though she honestly has been glad to have some time for herself again, after someone else constantly was at the house over the last few days, since the birth.  
Leah does walk inside and Jade closes the door behind her, before they move into the living room, where Leah drops her handbag on the far end of the couch. “How are you?” she meanwhile asks.  
“Fine,” Jade answers, because she is and never really would say it to Leah otherwise.  
“Is Benjamin doing good?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Wanna eat something?”  
So, there it is. Jade really doesn’t feel like having Leah make her any food. If she lets her make her food, she’s expected to be thankful, and she doesn’t want to be. Not to mention that it’s just unnessary for Leah to cook something, to do that work, if Jade can just as well quickly do something for herself. Benjamin is asleep in her arms anyway.  
“I can just make myself a sandwich,” she therefore says.  
She sees that Leah doesn’t like her answer. Because she would’ve expected and wanted Jade to say yes. And she doesn’t like it at all when things don’t go like she expects them to go. They never go like she wants them to when Jade is concerned, Jade knows. But while she wants to be on good terms with Beck’s parents, she won’t change everything about herself to be likeable for them.  
Leah doesn’t make a comment about it, just says instead: “Well, do you want to eat sandwiches together then?”  
That’s so weird. But well... Why not? Leah just also wants to be around Benjamin, her grandson.  
“Sure,” she therefore answers.  
It’s awkward the whole time through. Leah asks a little bit about Benjamin, while the little boy keeps lying in Jade’s arms. She has only given him to Leah while getting all the things on the kitchen table to make the sandwiches, then she has gotten him back to herself.  
As soon as they are done eating, Leah is gone again.

When Beck is home and they are cuddling on the couch, Benjamin in his arms, he eventually asks: “Has my mom been over?”  
“Yeah,” she answers and he confesses: “That’s so weird that you spend time alone with her.”  
Jade gets that. Not only that she found it weird and awkward. Yes, it must be weird for Beck too. It certainly would be weird for her to know Beck and her mother would spend time with each other, and more than just a few minutes here or there while she’s in the bathroom or while Beck waits for her or whatever.  
“I know,” she therefore says.  
“Did she behave?”  
He’s actually asking that. Because he knows as well as she does that especially his mother doesn’t like her at all. And that she’s inclined to say so, to make comments about it, or to at least show her disapproval, unlike Beck’s grandparents possibly.  
Jade appreciates him asking. She appreciates that he thinks his mother should behave around Jade, that his mother could behaved wrong, not Jade. That he’s concerned and checks up on her like this.  
And his mother did behave. It was fine having her over. They both behaved, to be honest. That’s why she just answers with a deep kiss that tells him everything.

 

The next day, Benjamin being two weeks old, Leah is back for lunch again.  
This time, instead of generally asking if she wants to eat, she suggests a specific lunch: “Do you want to eat pasta?”  
And it’s not like Jade wouldn’t like to eat pasta. She doesn’t really see the point, but she gets that she let her mother cook for her, that she can let Leah help out and that Leah wants to do something. Which is why she shrugs this time: “Sure.”  
She puts Benjamin on the blanket on the floor to help Leah out. She already gets everything out of the cupboards, while Leah puts the bag, she has with her today, on the kitchen counter, as she tells: “I’ve also brought desserts.”  
She gets out a small container to show Jade, who raises her eyebrows. Seriously?  
Leah already explains: “I just suddenly have so much time, which is why I thought I bake something. I don’t know if you like butter tarts?”  
Of course, she suddenly has so much time. She usually works and if she has time off, she’s travelling or spending time with her husband and her son, who usually take time off at the same time. That isn’t the case now. Jade knows, her mother has felt the same, has felt almost bored – though she had Jade and Benjamin around her for those two weeks she was home.  
Jade now honestly answers as Leah opens the container and shows her her baked goods: “Only ever ate them when we visited your family.”  
“I make them a little different than my sister-in-law,” Leah answers and Jade can’t help but smirk slightly: “Yeah, Beck told me so. He said yours are the best and he would get me one, whenever you will bake them the next time.”  
“Aw, he did?” Leah asks with the brightest look in her face.  
Jade nods. Leah seems to be incredibly happy that Beck told Jade, without being prompted, that he likes his mother’s baking best.  
Anyway... She now turns to the stove and starts cooking, almost humming happily.

 

She again doesn’t stay long. Just to cook and to eat with Jade afterwards. She also holds Benjamin for a moment again, before she says good-bye. And she leaves the rest of the butter tartes, mainly so Beck can have one as well, but she emphasizes that Jade should have her mother and her brother try some as well.  
The next day, they cook together again and Leah stays a little while afterwards and holds Benjamin for quite a long time, until he starts crying and Jade takes him and says he needs to be nursed. Leah leaves, so Jade has time for herself for that, which she appreciates.  
She comes by again later though, when Jasper is already home, while Beck is still in school, to bring groceries as she has apparently noticed that the family is running low on those. Jade doesn’t like it at all, but her mother comes home while Leah and Jasper are still putting them away, and accepts it after her talk with Leah. She also invites Leah to stay for some time longer as Beck is supposed to come back from school soon anyway, but Leah shakes her head smiling and says she and her husband planned a nice evening and she wanted to prepare everything for that.

 

On Thursady, Leah is back again and also stays and holds Benjamin while Jade cleans up the kitchen (she wanted to help with that but Jade said it’s fine and that she should have time with her grandson while Jade can clean up).  
While Jade cleans up and listens to Leah talking to Benjamin, she wonders if she should allow her even more time with the little boy. Her own mother certainly had more time with him. Not necessarily specifically, but she was around mostly – not to mention that she was there for his birth. Beck’s parents should both also get some time. Nathaniel of course isn’t here, but Leah is and she has time and... maybe, Jade should allow her to stay. She still has to work through papers for her English class anyway. Why not have Leah watch the little boy during that? Benjamin shouldn’t need her anyway any time soon again. While Leah cooked, she nursed (in her room, away from Leah, who doesn’t need to see her with that). Maybe, he would need to be changed soon, but Leah could also do that if she would want to. She knows how it’s done. Not to mention that Benjamin might not have anything like a firm rythm yet, just having turned sixteen days old, but she has sort of a feeling by now for him, has a rough idea when Benjamin might have to be changed or fed, and she thinks he won’t need to be changed again too soon.  
Which means... Maybe, she should let Leah fully have him for a while. Some actual quality time, without Jade watching them. Jade knows she can trust Leah, even if she might not especially like her or something.  
So, she suddenly suggests, with an almost rough voice, because she won’t be gentle speaking to Leah: “If you want to, you could go on a short walk with Benjamin.”  
Leah turns around in surprise. “Oh?”  
Jade shrugs: “He will most likely sleep anyway. And I have to do work for my English class.”  
“Are you sure?” Leah checks. Jade really starts to hate that question.  
“Beck also takes walks with him on his own,” she answers. “Just go for half an hour.”  
Leah promptly smiles.  
Jade tuly let’s her go with the buggy and Leah promises to be back in half an hour – or earlier if Benjamin needs to be changed or otherwise cries. Jade tries to do her work for English class, but it’s not that easy to relax. It’s okay when Beck is gone with Benjamin, but it isn’t fine now. She can barely concentrate, but even before the half hour is up, Leah is back, with Benjamin fast asleep in his buggy.  
So, she truly can trust Leah, even her watching the time though she might like to keep Benjamin longer. She also thanks Jade and directly leaves afterwards for Jade to have time with her son again.  
The next and last day for Leah to look after them, Jade allows her again to go on a walk for half an hour.

 

O

 

Benji doesn’t stop crying. Jade rocks him, hums soothing melodies, talks softly to him, but it’s of no use. At least, never for long. Every time she wants to put him back into bed, he starts crying again. He’s sixteen weeks old by now (so a little less than four months) and a wonderful baby – that just doesn’t like sleeping at night.  
Beck has sat up in between and has asked her if he should take over but she has said no. He has an important day tomorrow. Sikowitz has come through on his promise to look out more for roles for both of them, so they can support themselves at least a little. Especially Beck has been to a few auditions over time (with Jade denying the one, Sikowitz has gotten her still before Benji’s birth, because while the role might have sounded really interesting, she still didn’t want to be on film pregnant) and has scored a role as a small extra now. He will have to be up early and will want to do a good job, has to be concentrated and should look his best. Of course Jade wants him to get as much sleep as possible, which is why she’s more than willing to take care of Benji on her own during tonight. It’s not like Beck has asked her to or ever would but she knows she also would be relieved if Beck would take care of him before an important day for her.  
She almost wishes now, she just would’ve slept at home with Benji today with Beck staying in his RV.  
But she doesn’t feel like driving back home now. It’s the middle of the night, almost morning already after all.  
She does leave the RV though. She has just tried to lie him down again and he has started screaming again and Beck obviously can’t sleep this way. She whispers she’ll be back in a sec, so Beck won’t think she will leave altogether and won’t try to stop her, then she’s out. She rocks Benji again until he’s silent and guesses she will keep him in her arms for a while longer, until she can be sure Benji won’t notice her putting him back into his bed.  
But now that she’s up and out anyway... She realizes she’s pretty hungry. She hasn’t gotten around to eat much during dinner somehow, Benji already having been uneasy and restless during that, and her stomach is complaining about it now, is she all awake and conscious.  
Well... If she’s up and out of the RV and plans on rocking Benji some more, she can also very well go into the Olivers’ house and get some food for herself.  
She’s tired and exhausted, but she’s also damn hungry, so...  
The front door is always unlocked when the Olivers are home, so she can easily get in, without having to get back into the RV and taking Beck’s key.  
She hesitates for a moment before she turns on the light. Benji makes a noise but doesn’t start screaming again.  
She keeps rocking him as she moves towards the fridge and then opens it. It’s only when she stops rocking Benji while thinking about what she could eat that he starts crying again.  
“Sh,” she makes, rocking him again, stroking his head with her other hand, only shortly glancing to him though before looking back into the fridge.  
Benji calms down again eventually when Jade considers just taking a yoghurt though she’d like something more in a way, something more real but there’s nothing left from dinner, she knows.  
Then, she suddenly hears footsteps. She closes her eyes for a second. Like she needs to talk to Beck’s parents now, to have woken one of them up.  
But sure enough, Beck’s mother walks inside. Leah is also in her pajamas and looks tired as she walks in.  
“Hey, Jade,” she says though, quietly, not surprised to see her.  
Well, she must have heard Benji crying, so she must have known that she or Beck would also be in the house.  
“Hey,” Jade whispers. “Sorry if I have woken you up.”  
Leah shakes her head. “It’s not your fault if the little one cries.”  
But Jade wouldn’t have needed to come inside the house, of course. She isn’t about to say that though. She’s never really ready to do any polite small talk, but especially isn’t ready for that now, hungry and exhausted as she is.  
Therefore, she says nothing, but looks down to Benji again, stroking his head. The little boy has his eyes closed again, isn’t rattled by them talking.  
Leah asks: “What are you doing here? Are you hungry?”  
“Yeah,” Jade answers as she obviously is with going for the fridge. She explains anyway, though she doesn’t feel like it: “Benji was crying and is tough to calm down at the moment, which is why I wanted to leave the RV, so Beck can get some sleep before tomorrow. And as I was up and was hungry... I thought I’d get something to eat here.”  
Something in Leah’s face softens, though she also hasn’t looked at her in any way cold before. “How about I’ll make you something up? How about some eggs?”  
She moves further inside the kitchen, while Jade finally closes the fridge. There’s no need in keeping it open while they still talk.  
The mention of eggs by Leah directly triggers something inside her though. She doesn’t like eggs at all. They made her throw up when she was a small child and she has started eating them as she got older – only to throw them up again during her pregnancy. She guesses she’s totally over them by now. As the Olivers’ breakfast table is always set with so many things, Leah can’t have noticed yet that Jade has never eaten any eggs off of it.  
“I don’t like eggs,” Jade now directly says though, harsher than intended, more as an impulse.  
She expects Leah to look at her annoyed. Jade likes to be honest but she also knows that many people have their problems with it – and that she sometimes says stuff unnecessarily harsh or direct. She also knows that that’s one of the things Leah hates about her.  
But Leah doesn’t seem annoyed now. Instead, she asks: “Then how about some sausages?”  
She really seems willing to do that for Jade, to cook something for her right now.  
“It’s not necessary,” Jade says though sausages sound amazing and she knows she’s too exhausted to make them herself right now. “You can go back to bed.” She doesn’t want to keep Leah up.  
“No, no,” Leah is quick to say though. “Come on, sit down.” She offers her a seat which Jade takes, before Leah actually gets to work, gets out a pan and sausages and turns on the stove. She meanwhile explains: “You should eat well, especially with how little sleep you get and you still nursing and everything. We can’t have you pass out some day.”  
Jade watches her as she starts roasting the sausages, smiling at her, so kindly. It strikes her, as she sits there, how much Beck looks like his mother. Not that she has never noticed that before. But since they have met, Leah has always looked at her so... coldly that she has barely ever been able to realize the resemblance between her and Beck, who has looked at her with warmth since day one. Leah has never directed any kind look in her direction back when she and Beck have just gotten together. Suddenly, she notices that his mother has started to look at her more openly for some time, with more kindness, reminding her more and more of Beck.  
It’s silent for a while, in which Jade lowers her gaze down to her son and rocks him some more. He’s in a light sleep again.  
Jade strokes his cheek with her thumb until Leah puts the plate with the done sausages in front of her.  
“Thanks,” Jade earnestly says before she takes the fork, Leah hands her, and starts eating.  
Leah sits down opposite of her, with a smile, glancing down to Benji, but then looking at Jade again: “I remember how it was when Beck was little. Sometimes you just forget to take care of yourself as well, like suddenly you miss a meal because your baby is crying.” Which is pretty much what happened to Jade. “But you really have to make sure that not only he is taken care of but you as well.”  
Jade looks down onto her plate as she eats. Leah has never talked to her like this. She has never reminded her to take care of herself. Nobody has, but she would’ve expected Leah last to do something alike. Benji is far more important to her than Jade can ever be and Jade gets it. She also gets that Leah has never liked her, that she has always wanted for Beck to end up with someone better than her and that she hates for Jade to be the mother of her grandson. Or does she?  
Leah continues, suddenly: “How about you’ll leave him in here for some time tomorrow? You should also give your child to Beck and take time for yourself, but maybe, when Beck is back from filming you can leave Benji inside here, as soon as Nate or I are home, and you can spend some time just the two of you. In the RV or somewhere out.” It’s the end of June and Jade and Beck are on summer break, while their parents of course have to work.  
Jade looks up. Leah suggests for her precious son and Jade to actually spend time alone? To have time for them as a couple, which actually would mean a lot to Jade, as she has time for just herself when Beck takes care of Benji, but they barely have time as a couple.  
“Are you sure?”  
Leah nods. “Yes. If you would stay in the RV, you of course would still be close enough so that we could quickly get Benji back to you if the need arises. But you also could finally go out together again.”  
That’s an amazing offer. But Jade isn’t sure if she can be too far away from Benji just now if Beck isn’t with their little boy. So, they would stay in the RV. But both of them not being with Benji for possibly hours, just to be alone? Not just giving Benji away for a few minutes for a walk or alike, or to give him in someone else’s care to do school work, but to be alone and that for a long time?  
Leah never has been able to read Jade’s thoughts – suddenly, she apparently is: “It’s okay to sometimes let someone else take care of your child, okay? Not just some day for school or something, but also for yourself. You obviously love Benji and take care of him very well. But it’s also fine to think about yourself from time to time.”  
Jade looks at Leah for a moment, feeling unnecessary tears welling up. Tears that usually don’t come as easy anymore, with her actually getting back to normal.  
She quickly puts the fork down and rubs her eyes with her now free hand, hoping Leah doesn’t realize she’s pushing away tears. That anyone says that it’s obvious that she loves Benji... that Leah appreciates that she takes care of Benji really well...  
And Jade herself doesn’t know where it’s coming from, why she’s telling it Leah of all people: “It’s just tough because I want to do everything right.” She can’t just hand Benji off to be alone, can she? If it’s not to his father?  
Leah doesn’t hesitate to answer, sounding sympathetic: “Everybody tries to do that. And yet, every parent makes mistakes. By god, I have made my fair share with Beck.”  
Jade also would have never guessed Leah to admit she made mistakes with Beck, her perfect little boy. And of course, Jade makes a little dig at him, smirking: “He turned out fine.” Though he obviously turned out better than fine.  
Leah actually laughs at that though and says with a wink: “I tried for perfect.”  
Jade’s smile widens, before Leah continues: “But yes, he did. And Benji will, too, even if you might make some mistakes over time. You’re a good mother.”  
Jade has to push back the tears again, needs a moment before she looks Leah straight in the eye and asks: “You really think so?”  
Leah looks straight back and they never have looked at each other like that. Actually looking at each other, open-minded.  
“I really do, Jade. I really do,” Leah says and Jade knows that she means it. That she actually means it. And she sees that she also wonders if Jade knows about how much she has disliked her over time and that she has even thought about fighting for custody of Benji for a moment.  
And how can this woman, who once thought about fighting for custody, now have come to the conclusion that Jade is a good mother? What has suddenly made her accept Jade?  
Jade is moved in any way, because she’s used to people not liking her, to people pushing her away. She isn’t used to people coming around to her.  
“Thanks,” she says and hopes Leah already understands through that word how much it means to her.  
She looks down to her plate that she has emptied by now, before she says: “And thanks for the food.”  
Both of them stand up as Leah answers: “Sure. If there’s anything else you need, just tell us.”  
Jade nods and they both walk to the front door where Jade takes Benji’s arm and waves with it. “Good night, Granny.”  
Benji is in a deep sleep by now and hopefully won’t make any trouble any more being put back to bed. And Jade really appreciates that Leah hasn’t taken the little boy out of her arms. That she hasn’t even touched him in any way, because Jade wouldn’t have been able to stand it, exhausted as she is, and she’s sure Benji also wouldn’t have liked it right now. She has experienced teachers and family by now that have taken Benji out of her arms though she hasn’t wanted them to, like she has witnessed as a child happening with Jasper in their mother’s arms. Leah has never done that, has been extremely respectful of Jade with Benji. Jade knows that that’s one of the reasons she’s always so willing to hand Benji over to her at times.  
Leah now smiles at the little sleeping boy, also waving though he obviously doesn’t see. “Good night, little darling.” Then, she also looks at Jade. “Good night, Jade.”  
Jade nods in form of goodbye, before she leaves the house.

Beck seems to be asleep when she comes back into the RV. She lies Benji carefully down in his crib and breathes out in relief when he doesn’t wake up as he’s lied down.  
She quietly walks over to Beck’s bed and lies down herself.  
“Where’ve you been?” Beck mumbles, apparently only half asleep.  
She snuggles up to him and then draws him into a deep kiss. Somehow feeling so happy and relieved deep down inside.  
Beck makes a noise into the kiss and Jade knows he’s about to ask again. He noticed that she has been gone for quite a long time. But he should sleep and they shouldn’t talk, so as soon as their lips break apart, Jade says: “Go back to sleep. You have to be up early again.”  
Beck obeys, and soon enough, they are both back asleep again.

 

When Jade wakes up in the morning, it’s because of Benji’s cry.  
Her eyes shoot open, though she’s incredibly tired, only to find that Beck is already at Benji’s crib. He is half dressed, has obviously already been awake, and now takes the baby out of its crib.  
“Good morning, Benji,” he says to him as he starts rocking him. “What’s with you? Oh, are you hungry?”  
Beck glances to Jade, only to find her awake. Well, they both always wake up when they hear their baby cry.  
He smiles as he tells the boy: “I’ll get you to your mommy, so she can nurse you.”  
He walks over and they exchange a kiss, while he hands the baby over to her.  
“Morning,” he then says with a smile, while she exposes her breast far enough for Benji to latch on, which he immediately does.  
She just makes a noise as an answer and Beck kisses her again, before he continues to dress himself.  
Only after a while, she feels awake enough to ask him: “Already have to get going?”  
“In less than an hour. I still wanted to get some breakfast,” he answers and she nods. Of course he needs to eat breakfast, before he goes to work.  
She smiles slightly as she looks to the little boy in her arms. The little boy whose father actually will be an extra in a movie. Jade is weirdly proud of her boyfriend. She always is when he succeeds in something. It’s stupid.  
That same boyfriend now suddenly asks her: “Where’ve you been earlier?”  
With which he must mean when she went out with Benji, because she didn’t leave the RV otherwise since they have gone to bed the previous night.  
The question irritates her slightly. She just doesn’t know why Beck cares and why he can’t figure out himself that she probably went for him to be able to sleep while Benji was whining. “Why are you prying me about it?”  
“I am allowed to wonder, aren’t I?” he easily replies, not getting angry himself like he sometimes does when she talks to him in an irritating tone.  
And... Okay, yeah, he is allowed. Whatever. “If you have to know: I was hungry and took Benji, who was awake and crying, with me into your parents’ house to get some food.”  
“Oh, okay,” he answers, obviously getting that.  
She looks to Benji again, before she tells: “Benji woke your mom up. She offered me to take him, when you’re back and she or your dad are home, so we could have some time alone.”  
Beck looks at her in surprise and delight at the same time. “She has?”  
She nods and he is all dressed by now and promptly comes up to her again and kisses her another time. “We have to take her up on that offer,” he whispers against her lips and she can’t help but smile. Okay, yeah, they definitely have to. She also longs to be alone with Beck. More than just a minute here or there.  
At the moment, she is thinking about something else though. While Beck pulls on his shoes, she mentions it, as if it was no big deal, as if she didn’t wonder: “She told me she thinks I’m a good mother.”  
“You are,” Beck says absent-mindly, probably already thinking about what he will need to take with him later for the filming.  
Well, that’s not the point. Of course, she’s also happy to hear that Beck also considers her a good mother, but... “How did she get around to thinking that?”  
Leah, who has never liked her.  
Beck looks back to her again, blinks, before he earnestly says: “She sees you with him all the time. That’s enough, believe me.” He shortly glances to the boy in Jade’s arms, still being nursed. Then: “Though I know it also really impressed her how you handled... our break-up.”  
Their break-up? Seriously? They have just gotten back together at the beginning of this month and Jade would’ve guessed – just like with their break-up during the pregnancy – that his parents would hate her even more for it. They never found out about their break-up during the pregnancy; they did know about this one. How could have that ever made his mother like her?  
“Our break-up? What?” she therefore asks confused.  
Beck explains as if it was obvious: “That you didn’t use Benji in any way. It showed her that you’ll always put him first. That no matter your feelings, you’ll always act in his best interest.”  
That’s just weird. “Of course. He is my son.” He should be her priority.  
Beck smiles. “And you’re a good mother.” He kisses her, then: “Anyway... You probably want to enjoy some more hours in bed. Do you want me to bring you something for breakfast?”

 

O

 

Benji has his very first cold roughly a week later, in the beginning of July. He’s only four months old and Beck and Jade almost loose their nerves over it.  
Luckily, Benji otherwise is mostly healthy. He has his uneasy times, but mostly, everything is fine. He only gets his next fever in the end of September. They have been in San Diego with their friends and it’s afterwards that Benji feels slightly uneasy again. Beck is in a school play at the moment and has a whole afternoon and evening of rehearsal that Thursday. Jade’s mother has just gone on a work trip that morning and will come back on Saturday. Jasper is with his father, so Jade is home alone with Benji after school. She also could’ve sit in with Beck’s rehearsal, but as Benji doesn’t feel well, they decided they are better off at home.  
It’s there that she notices his fever and starts to worry. Should she get to the hospital? Though she learned that a fever doesn’t necessarily have to be bad. You don’t always have to run to the doctor. Only when the baby also otherwise seems seriously sick. He’s slightly uneasy, but not too bad. Benji isn’t totally off or something.  
She thinks about calling Beck but... He would worry (just like she does) and he should concentrate on that play. As long as it isn’t serious...  
She could also call her mother but what should she do? Not to mention that she might still be with clients, probably eat dinner with one, because she always does, when she’s on a trip.  
She bites her lip as she sits on the floor next to the blanket, Benji is lying on and playing. She feels really unsure about this. And well, there are still possibly other people she can call, if they are home from work.  
She pulls out her phone, hesitates only for another moment, puts her hand once more on Benji’s forehead, which is quite warm (though she knows that’s not actually telling her much about his fever), then she calls the Olivers’ home number.  
Leah picks up: “Hello, Leah Oliver.”  
They haven’t saved Jade’s phone number in their home phone, but the home number and that of Caitlyn’s phone. So, Leah doesn’t know who is calling.  
“Hey, it’s Jade.”  
“Oh,” Leah says, directly sounding worried. “Is everything okay?”  
“I...” Jade starts, taking a deep breath. It’s not like she’s happy ever asking anyone for help. Beck’s mother is even harder than her own, even though Benji is already half a year old and Beck and she had to ask for help a lot (or at least had to accept a lot of help, they barely had to explicitly ask for it).  
She continues: “I’m not sure. Benji has a fever.”  
“Oh. How is he? Is he feeling okay otherwise?”  
“I think so,” Jade answers. “I think he’s okay. I don’t know.”  
For a moment it’s silent, then Leah checks: “Is he behaving like usual?”  
Jade watches her son as she says: “He is.” He still has a fever though.  
Leah easily responds: “Then, he’s probably fine. If it’s just a small fever... Sometimes, they just have a little cold and you don’t even really notice it.”  
Jade bites her lip again. That sounds possible.  
And she knows her own child, but... what if she misses something? What if she misses a sign or some little change in his behaviour that a more experienced mother would instantly see?  
She doesn’t like it, but still asks: “Can you... like... come by and just check?”  
“I’m sure you’re doing a good job,” Leah answers.  
Well, and maybe she also still has stuff to do or something, but... Jade would really like her to come by. Just to make sure everything is okay. But she can’t ask again, can she?  
She still considers, when Leah suddenly decides: “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

She does come by. She shortly checks up on Benji, asks for his previously taken temperature and suggests how to handle Benji now, then she says: “You’re doing fine. Just watch him and the fever. It’s okay. He’s half a year old now and his immune system will work fine.”  
Jade takes a deep breath. That relieves her immensely.  
She rubs with her hand over Benji’s arm who looks up to her from his blanket with a bright smile.  
Jade is sitting on the floor again with Leah also on her knees on the floor. Leah now asks: “Anyway... Where is Beck?”  
“At that rehearsal at school,” Jade shortly answers.  
Leah remembers as soon as she says it: “Ah, right. He told us about that.”  
And with that, Leah looks back to the small boy as well with a smile.  
Jade keeps rubbing his arm and without looking at Leah, she says: “Thanks.”  
She should thank her, even if she never likes to thank anyone verbally.  
“You’re welcome, Jade,” Leah answers. “Though I didn’t do anything.”  
That’s not true. “You came,” Jade answers. She came, though she probably just got home from work and wanted to have a calm evening. She didn’t question it. She checked up on Benji and made Jade feel safe.  
Jade looks to Leah again and Leah looks straight back with a gentle smile. “You called me.”


	18. Back to school and Benji's crying

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone!  
> So, here’s the new chapter. There is a little bit about breastfeeding inside this chapter – it shouldn’t make anyone uncomfortable, but I guess... different cultures etc... so I’m just saying so in advance. This way, you are prepared to jump it, as soon as it starts. Though it’s likely it will get mentioned again here and there in other chapters; keep that in mind.  
> What else can I already say about the other chapters? There will be (very likely) only five more chapters after this one. The one after this will be about Bade’s second break-up (and them getting back together), then I will have two chapters with a few different topics and scenes, followed up by Christmas and yeah, then the final chapter. I’m not sure I can still fulfill wishes inside this fic but if there’s something, you really want to read, still feel free to tell me – I will always take it into consideration.  
> Hope you guys will like this chapter.

It’s Wednesday, Benjamin has turned three weeks old the day before, and Beck loves every day. Jade obviously has also long gotten used to having a baby. She is alone at home during this week in the mornings. Beck’s mother has gone back to work on Monday and Caitlyn has talked to Jade again on Sunday, with Beck also being there, telling her to call anyone if something was wrong. That both Beck’s parents and she herself would drop everything if the need arises. Beck has told her that she could also reach him at any time, just in case. Though he guesses, if Jade would be helpless, he would also not be of much help to her.  
Anyway... Though they both love it and have gotten used to having a child, it isn’t always easy. He’s stressed at times, because Jade may take care of Benjamin over night, but he still wakes up all the same, whenever Benjamin starts crying. He can usually turn and fall back asleep, but the lack of sleep takes a little bit of a toll on him. Jade also still is exhausted, though she at least can sleep all over the day, whenever Benjamin sleeps.  
It’s still working fine. Beck is sure, it will get easier over time. There also has to come a moment where Benjamin starts sleeping through more hours than just... two at a time or less.  
Both Beck and Jade have lied down together this afternoon, as soon as Benjamin fell asleep again after Jade nursed him. They still have both stuff to do for school, but they enjoy the quiet time now.  
Beck doesn’t fall asleep fast though. Jade obviously also doesn’t. There is something on her mind, and after a while, first checking if he’s still awake, she asks: “Do you remember that we wanted to talk about me going back to school?”  
“Oh, right,” he says as he does remember now. Yeah, they decided after their friends’ second visit after the birth that they would talk about Jade going back to school as soon as Benjamin is three weeks old.  
Jade looks at him in that piercing way to totally read him, as she asks: “What do you say to me going back after spring break?”  
“That’s already quite soon,” he says honestly. Spring break is already next week. Which means that Benjamin would be at school with them with four weeks already, turning five weeks the second day. Well... He already has kind of grown a lot. Not physically, but... somehow, he seems much stronger already than right after his birth.  
Jade’s answer comes sharply: “I need to go back, Beck.”  
Beck gets it. Jade does have trouble keeping up with everything at home, because it’s just not the same. But even more: She does miss their artistic classes. Beck doesn’t want her to miss any more if they can help it.  
“If you think you are able to, you should.”  
And Jade is still looking at him in that way and of course, she knows: “You don’t like it.”  
“I’m just afraid it won’t work out,” he earnestly says. Benjamin has grown stronger. Jade also has mostly recovered from birth by now. But she’s still overly exhausted, emotional and hungry. And Beck doesn’t know if she will be okay with all their classmates around, with all of them trying to get a look at Benjamin, with everyone talking to her.  
Jade moves a little away from him and asks with raised eyebrows: “So, I just should stay home and never go back?”  
“I’m not saying that,” Beck answers irritated. Sometimes, Jade can jump to such strange conclusions.  
Jade now sits up. “But you’re thinking it.”  
“I’m not,” he defends himself, also sitting up. “I said you should go back if you feel ready for it.” Because he did. He may be sceptic about the fact that she’s ready, but he knows she won’t let her have a say in it.  
“Why don’t you stay home with Benjamin then until finals?”  
Beck blinks, glances to Benjamin, who doesn’t seem fazed and still sleeps soundly though their voices are slightly raised. Okay. Jade thinks Beck doesn’t want Benjamin in school yet and believes it’s on Jade to keep taking care of Benjamin at home. Possibly forever. Which is so not what Beck wants.  
He takes a deep breath and answers pointedly: “Because I don’t just worry about Benjamin. If I see he can’t stand it, I possibly will decide to stay home with him. But I also worry about you.”  
Jade’s face slightly softens. Her voice is still kind of harsh: “It’s my business.”  
“I know,” he simply says and she looks at him for another while, before she decides: “We should tell my mom.”  
They do talk to her when she’s back, while they all make dinner together. Caitlyn says they should definitely try, that she will call Eikner to make sure, it’s okay. And that they also should talk to Beck’s parents about it to hear their opinion.

They visit Beck’s parents the next evening. They are happy to see Benjamin again and also say that they should try taking him to school, but that they should make sure Benjamin is fine at all times. He has the hightest priority, they emphasize, which Beck and Jade know.  
On the weekend, Beck’s grandparents come by and with Beck being on break the week after, they use the time to visit Jade’s grandparents and her father and stepmother (those in the evenings of course, as they have to work, just like their own parents).  
On Friday, they are visiting his parents again and plan to stay the night. They spend some of the evening with his parents, and it’s there that his mother talks to them about baby slings.  
Beck hasn’t really thought yet about how they would carry Benjamin around. They have talked about what they have to take with them, have also talked that through with Caitlyn. Caitlyn has told them about emergency diapers, about a familiar stuffed animal and toy (though Benjamin still isn’t interested very much in either), about one or two changes of clothes...  
Beck’s parents now also check in on that and then, his mother asks if they have ever thought about baby slings.  
She has two of those there and shows them.  
“Can’t we just take him with us in his buggy? Or the baby seat?” Jade asks sceptical.  
Beck notices that his mother is immediately annoyed with Jade again. As if she isn’t even open to the suggestion of a baby sling. He’s sure she is. She just would’ve thought of something else first at the thought of carrying their baby with them.  
His father is the one to answer: “You can choose anything you want. But buggies are difficult to navigate through crowds. If you have to get to class at the same time as everyone else, it could become annoying. The same can go with the seat. Not to mention, that babies usually shouldn’t lie in that for too long. And with a sling like that, you could have your hands free at all times.”  
Having their hands free, could mean a lot, Beck guesses. That’s also why they shouldn’t just carry Benjamin in their arms at all times. It works at home without anything like that sling, but they also can put him down whenever he sleeps. If they are on break in the hallways, without a buggy or a baby seat, they can’t necessarily do that.  
His mother adds: “We also carried Beck like this a lot. It also soothes your child very easily. At least, it does with most. There are children who don’t like these slings at all. Just like others don’t like buggies at all. It all depends. But we thought, you could try these with Benjamin. That way, he’s close to your heart. And with the warmth and your heartbeat and moving with you, it’s actually very much like in the womb. So, Benjamin probably won’t get as nervous in school when it gets loud or something else – because he will feel safe.”  
Okay, Beck wouldn’t have guessed that it feels simliar to the womb to be in one of those slings. But he guesses his mother could be right.  
He looks over to Jade, who seems to think a similiar thing. At least, she now asks: “How do you bind those, then?”  
They both try. Beck is sure, Benjamin will also keep with Jade in school mostly, with him only getting him at breaks, when Jade is also there. And then, he can also carry him in his arms. But you never know, so he also tries to bind it himself on his own body.  
It feels amazing to have Benjamin that close. And the boy also seems to like it, when they test it out.  
His parents tell them what to watch, like how high Benjamin actually has to be when he’s in the sling, in which positions he can be and in which he can’t be, especially at his age. Apparently, it changes over time.  
Jade also feels really comfortable with Benjamin in her sling. And she seems to look even more beautiful once more, with their little baby like that. Beck can barely believe it.  
They take the red sling from his parents in the end (Jade looking almost with disgust at the plaid yellow green one) and practice binding it some more over the weekend.  
Benjamin truly does love the sling for months. It works perfectly, so they even use it a lot over summer break. After break, they sometimes take him out of the sling, not only for feeding or changing, but also so he can move around a little. They put him on the table in front of them or on a blanket next to them in class, but even with half a year old he still enjoys the sling very much. He just doesn’t sleep as much in it anymore at some point. He may doze off sometimes in it, but not truly sleep. As at that point, he doesn’t like being in the baby sling anymore with his face to them, but to the world out there, he mostly watches everything out of the sling. For the first weeks, he definitely only is turned to them though – as that’s also the healthiest way to carry a young baby, apparently.

 

It’s weird for Jade to actually get ready for school again on Monday. It’s the tenth of April, Benjamin is more than a month old, and her mother tells her again that she can get back home whenever she feels like it.  
“Maybe, you also have to ease back into school,” she says. “Just see what’s best for you and Benjamin.” That’s naturally what she plans to do.  
She almost feels like going back home as soon as she walks into the halls of Hollywood Arts, Benjamin really in that baby sling, Beck with his arm around her. Everyone immediately turns, goes silent and stares at her. Because having Beck around and knowing he is a father now, is so different than her being here in school with their child. Gosh, she hates every one of them.  
She acts like she doesn’t even notice them staring, while she goes to her locker. Beck goes to his own, but joins her quickly after he’s done there, while she still sorts through her things. She hasn’t been here for so long. She has used many of Beck’s books or the internet or the papers themselves when she has worked at home, so to not force Beck to empty her locker at the end of her pregnancy and now having to drag everything back to school. She now needs to sort through what she needs for today.  
She’s just done and already notices Andre at his own locker, glancing to them with the biggest grin, obviously hurrying to also come over to them, when Turner suddenly is with them, one of their history teachers.  
“Aw, is that him?” she cooes, without a greeting. Not that Jade would appreciate a greeting. Whatever.  
She rolls her eyes, because that’s obviously a dumb question. “No, it’s a sack of rice I’m carrying with me.”  
He feels how Beck lies a hand on the small of her back. At the same time Turner steps even closer up to them, with a smile: “Let me take a look.”  
“No,” Jade decides because she just doesn’t want her to. She turns away when Turner already has one hand on the sling, as if she has a right to just touch Jade’s baby or to look at it. It’s not hers. And it’s enough that all her classmates are staring and whispering. She doesn’t need the teacher to touch her baby without permission, to get into her own comfort zone at the same time.  
Turner definitely also hasn’t liked her first answer and now promptly scolds: “You’re back in school, Jade. I don’t appreciate that attitude.”  
Seriously? Jade feels the anger inside her burn and suddenly, Benjamin, whom she thought to be asleep, starts screaming.  
And Turner accuses her: “See what you did?”  
What she, Jade, did? What does Turner think how this happened? Obviously Benjamin also doesn’t want her close, doesn’t want her to look at him or touch him.  
She glares at her dumb teacher, while she starts rocking Benjamin. “You did it. Leave.”  
And she fully turns away, shushing her baby, while rocking it to calm it down. She hears Beck, who still has a hand on her back, saying to Turner: “If you could leave us alone?”  
Turner leaves, while everyone else is now really staring with Benjamin crying. Though he now also quickly calms down again, Jade still rocking him.  
Beck steps slightly around, his arm now around Jade, as he quietly says, because he also thinks noone needs to hear: “You could’ve just let her take a look.”  
Yeah, right. “It’s my child.”  
“It’s mine, too,” Beck says pointedly.  
That’s true. But that’s not the point here. This is about Turner just wanting to get into her and their son’s space without anyone’s permission. But sure enough: Beck would’ve given her permission. It annoys her for some reason.  
She spits out: “Fine. Then take your son and parade him around school.” She even is in the process of untying the sling, but Beck stops her by grabbing both her hands.  
“No, keep him,” he quickly says. “You both need to adjust here. Just... She didn’t want anything bad.”  
Jade guesses so. But her just coming up, wanting to touch Benjamin... It irks Jade for some reason. Especially with everyone staring. Maybe, that’s more the problem. Everybody staring again. With her nerves thin as they are, because she actually has to take care of another human being, she has so much responsibility now. And with the night she has behind her, because Beck might have stood up more last night, saying that they now both have to go to school after all, but she still woke up as well every time.  
“I know,” she says with a somewhat small voice and suddenly leans into Beck. Beck, who does understand her, who tries everything to be there for her. Who doesn’t want to attack her in any way. She breathes: “I’m already exhausted.”  
Because she is. They have just arrived, but this is already tough. How was Beck able to go to school all during last month and then taking care of Benjamin so lovingly at home?  
Beck has heard her, wraps his arms around her, drops a kiss on her hair. Quietly, he says: “Maybe, you should stay home a little longer.”  
She immediately pushes him away again. “And what’s with finals? Should I do my Sophomore year all over again? Great.”  
She doesn’t know why, but... She has developed an almost irrational fear of everyone expecting her to stay home for a longer time. And her then totally falling behind on school work, her eventually dropping out and never ever achieving anything. She’s sure there are teenage mothers who stay home for a year, maybe homeschooled or on a break, and still get a good high school degree. But she just wants to do this the normal way. She’s afraid she personally won’t be able to otherwise. She needs to be back here. She needs to do good in school. Despite and for Benjamin.  
Beck doesn’t start a fight, which she is glad about. She feels like fighting so much lately (possibly the stress of having a child), but at the same time she feels too exhausted to do so. She would use a lot of bad words to get out all her emotions – and would end up crying alone somewhere, because Beck wouldn’t hold her afterwards if she would throw all those emotions at his head.  
Beck’s face is soft and his voice is too: “I love you, Jade.”  
Okay, that’s what she needed to hear. That soothes her, that makes her calm down again.  
They share a kiss and obviously, Andre has watched them carefully from his locker after the Turner-incident and only now dares to walk up to them.  
He is happy to see Jade and Benjamin, but not nearly as happy as Cat, who arrives at the same time as Robbie and Rex.  
“Oh, my god! He is here! This is the best day of my life!” she squeals, which makes Jade raise her eyebrows, though it also amuses her: “Seriously?”  
“Yeah”, Cat says with a bright smile. “And I got this for him.” She unnecessarily points at a balloon she brought, which dances over her head on a ribbon she holds. “We can bind it to his wrist, so we can all see you even in full hallways.”  
Robbie, Andre and Beck all turn to Jade with a grin. They know that she won’t like that idea.  
She doesn’t. “No. If you put that anywhere near my son, I will pop it.” And she pulls a pair of scissors from somewhere.  
Robbie takes a small step back. Nobody would’ve guesses she actually still carries scissors with her, when she also carries her child. But of course she does.  
Cat pouts, but decides with a sad voice: “Then, I’ll bind it to my wrist. But when you see me during breaks, please come to me, so I can say hi to Benjamin.”  
“Maybe,” Jade answers and finally, Andre also says something about Benjamin, while he has only greeted Jade and Beck before, quite carefully after the Turner-exchange: “I also would like to see him every now and then. This is just so cool.”  
“It is,” Rex confirms and Robbie smiles at Jade: “Yeah. And welcome back to school, Jade.”

 

It’s difficult. Eikner has both Jade and Beck in his office during first break and talks to them about how they will be allowed to leave at any time with Benjamin. The whole school, but also each their classes, without hall passes or anything. He says he trusts them for now to not misuse it, but that he will look into it again if it doesn’t work out. They definitely should leave class if Benjamin is crying, to not disturb the other students.  
It’s all good to know. And Jade does already use the permission the very first day a few times. It’s weird with Benjamin in school. It’s tough to watch him and at the same time concentrate on her classes. Yes, he sleeps mostly anyway, but she hasn’t been in school for so long, hasn’t concentrated on one thing for such a long time, that it’s hard to get back now.  
But she does get over it over the next few days.  
After her first week back, she also starts giving Benjamin to Beck for more than just the breaks. On Monday just, when Benjamin is freshly nursed anyway. But when they are back home, she starts informing herself on expressing her milk, so they can possibly make bottles with it and Beck can feed Benjamin himself.  
Beck says they don’t have to do that and it’s fine if Benjamin keeps with Jade in school until summer break. The thing is though... Jade also doesn’t feel all that comfortable, breastfeeding in school. She always does it in empty rooms, but it annoys her like hell to find one and then sit there somewhat exposed, still in the middle of school. It would be so much easier, to stay in class, pull out a bottle herself and feed Benjamin like that.  
They talk to her mother and then also search online about it. Apparently, Jade won’t necessarily be able to feed him with the bottle then, because a baby is able to scent the breast and won’t always accept the bottle if they can also have the breast.  
They talk to his parents about it the next day and Leah tells them about something like nipple confusion and reminds her that summer break will come soon. Apparently, while some babies won’t like the bottle when their mother’s breast is close, others don’t want to have the breast at all anymore, because it’s easier to draw milk from the bottle than from the breast. They actually unlearn how to nurse from the breast. And Leah says Jade should seriously think if she wants to stop breastfeeding this early, especially with summer break coming up, where she can breastfeed at ease again.  
The thing is... yeah, maybe she would like to keep doing it in private for a little more time. It feels nice, she always feels incredibly close to Benjamin doing it, and it’s so easy. Just having him latch on, also in the middle of the night.  
On the other hand... That’s why she thought about expressing milk from her breasts instead of buying infant formula for babies somewhere. She has read a little about that during the pregnancy and with the need of bringing that to body temperature in the middle of the night and everything...  
But she could keep expressing milk, also if Benjamin won’t take her breast anymore, and that would keep fine for hours, like even a whole night, so she could just as easily feed him that way as by actually nursing. Just in case he really weans himself in a way as soon as they start giving him the bottle.  
She knows Beck’s parents don’t like it, but she also knows it’s her decision. And she just doesn’t like breastfeeding in school. She doesn’t feel comfortable. And she likes the thought of Beck also being able to feed their son, to take care of him even in that way.  
They buy everything necessary on the weekend (like a pump). Expressing milk is weird. But Benjamin easily takes the bottle from Beck afterwards. Beck seems absolutely gleeful as the little boy lies in his arms and drinks it and Jade of course has to snap a picture.  
Benjamin is a wonderful baby. He does take both the breast and the bottle (even takes that from Jade after a while) and expressing milk may feel weird but Jade likes it so much better, doing that in the privacy of her home, than breastfeeding every other hour in the middle of the school.  
And now, Beck can have Benjamin over some classes so much more easy.  
That’s also hard for Jade at first. On the other hand... She has had Beck take walks with Benjamin before, even extending the half hour from the beginning. She can let go of Benjamin for a class. Yes, it’s tough concentrating in class at first – but it’s also hard with Benjamin right there.  
And she knows she can trust Beck. She may never like if he actually let’s someone look at the little boy in the baby sling on him, but she knows Beck will never let someone hurt their baby boy.  
She absolutely doesn’t like it if Beck lets any of the girls in school take a look, but she realizes that’s not because she wants to protect her son, but because they only use Benjamin to flirt with Beck, to be close to him. Because even though he is the father of her child, they still think they have a chance with him.  
Benjamin soon makes sure to send those girls running.

 

First, Benjamin just reacts, when she’s right with him and gets really angry about someone’s behaviour around him. Like with Turner on her first day.  
One week in school and she has to write a test. Benjamin is awake and makes small noises but nothing serious. The scratching of the pencils on the papers from Jade’s classmates is just as loud as her son. She rocks him a little, while she writes, and finally Whitman says she can take him, so Jade can write the test in peace. Which is stupid, because Jade will be much more distracted with her child in someone else’s arms than rocking it next to writing.  
“No,” she therefore says, already harshly.  
Whitman comes closer. “Ah, come on. It will be easier for you. I just want to help you.”  
For a moment, she lies her hand on Benjamin’s back, then she even seems to actively want to get Benjamin out of the sling. Jade can barely believe what she’s seeing, what this dumb woman thinks she does. She wants to slap her hands away and tell her some words, for which she definitely would even get detention, when Benjamin suddenly starts screaming. Some of Jade’s classmates at least tried to keep working on their own test before, despite Whitman talking. Now, everyone looks up and to them.  
Jade doesn’t say another word. She also ignores her classmates. She just glares at Whitman, as she stands up, grabs Benjamin’s bag and leaves the room.  
Benjamin calms down quickly again outside. Jade doesn’t at all feel like going back. She stays outside the room for another ten minutes, considering not going back at all, waiting for the end of class and then only getting her own things out of there. But she should write that stupid test. She came back to school to actually do the work. As much as she dislikes Whitman, now more than ever...  
So, she finally does go back. Whitman doesn’t say a word to her for the class and she at least manages to get most of the test done.

 

All their teachers seem to be idiots, who think they can just take Benjamin. Except Sikowitz and Lane. But everyone else seem to know better. And while they barely try to correct Beck and he also doesn’t care about it and just ignores them, it annoys the heck out of Jade.  
Over time, before and after summer break, they do sometimes say, they can’t hold Benjamin a certain way, when they get him out of the sling. It happens to Jade in the middle of class one time. As soon as her singing teacher wants to take Benjamin to show her how he’s actually to be held, claiming he knows because he has little siblings, Benjamin also starts screaming like crazy though.  
Benjamin starts to get really sensitive about it. Already crying as soon as one of them gets too close to him.  
Smith, Jade’s math teacher, also thinks she knows better. Jade is changing Benjamin alone in Lane’s office during her acting class, when Smith walks in, after a swift knock on the door.  
“Oh, hi,” she says and Jade only glances at her, before she turns back to Benjamin, rolling her eyes slightly.  
Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Smith putting some papers on Lane’s desk. Probably, she just wanted to bring those by. Jade hopes she will just leave again. She doesn’t need anyone around right now, while changing her son.  
But sure enough, Smith walks up to her. She sits on the floor, with Benjamin on the changing mat also down there. Smith now also squats down, next to Jade. “Ah, babies are just adorable, aren’t they? Oh, you can’t do it like this. Let me show you how it’s done.”  
Jade has tried to just ignore her and kept changing Benjamin. Just now, she’s wiping him (and hates that some random teacher is looking at her exposed son).  
“I know how it’s done,” she now pointedly answers, immediately feeling anger. Benjamin is almost two months old. It’s not like Jade is just now changing him for the first time.  
“But you have to be careful here,” Smith says as if Jade isn’t. “Trust me. I raised two children and watch my little niece all the time.”  
And Jade can barely believe it how encroaching people can be, how many people think they can just take over with a child because their mother is young or because they don’t like the mother or whatever.  
Smith now at least also seems to be in the process of turning Benjamin, who watches Jade with mild interest, to herself, but she hasn’t even touched him yet, when Benjamin already starts screaming terribly.  
Smith immediately draws her hands back. Well.  
“Leave,” Jade tells her, already rubbing her baby’s belly to show him that she’s still there, that she’s right with him.  
Smith doesn’t question it, but gets up and does leave, closing the door behind her. The door is just closed, when Benjamin calms down in an instant.  
Jade looks down to him and he looks right back, a little exhausted, but totally fine again.  
She smirks slighlty, leans down to him, drops a kiss on his nose. “Good boy,” she whispers, before she returns to her work.

 

Benjamin also reacts to girls flirting with Beck. In the beginning, it’s only when Jade is around. It even works, when they are broken up. Their friends notice and talk about it out of ear-shot of both of them. They wonder if Jade and Beck themselves notice. They might not, as Beck never really cares about other girls anyway and Jade pretends like she doesn’t care about Beck anymore and ignores him when it’s not about Benjamin.  
It also starts working when Jade isn’t around though, as Jade does notice when they are back together and on summer break. It’s as if Benjamin learns what Jade doesn’t like and decides he also doesn’t like it. Jade enjoys it very much.  
The first time she sees it without being close is at the begining of summer break. She and Beck are out to eat with Benjamin. She has gone to the restroom and she just walks out of it when she sees a girl approaching Beck, who has taken the little boy out of the buggy (which they have used today) into his arms. Jade comes to a halt as she sees the unfamiliar girl lie a hand on Beck’s arms and start talking to him, looking at Benji with a happy smile. Jade knows what’s going on. This girl might think the boy is Beck’s little brother or something. And sees an opening to talk to him by gushing over the baby. And Beck, again, won’t see what’s happening, will be all polite and nice, now already smiles at her as he probably tells her that indeed, the boy in his arms is cute and he’s happy she also thinks so. As if she truly came over just to compliment Benji, and not him.  
Jade gets angry, but Benji can’t see or hear or feel her. It’s impossible for him, from where she still stands. Still, he suddenly starts crying. And she hears that he isn’t hungry or tired or needs to be changed.  
And as soon as Benji cries, even Beck sends people away – and everyone immediately leaves if asked, because nobody wants to impose on a crying baby.  
So, the girl leaves them alone again, walks to her own table, while Jade walks back up to Beck and Benji with a confident smirk.  
Jade takes Benji, who already calms down, out of Beck’s arms as she arrives and directly says to the little boy: “Aw, you have successfully made that girl go away. Will you send all the girls away, so your daddy can’t flirt? Good boy.”  
Beck of course realizes that that means that she has just watched the other girl walking up to him. And like always, he defends himself: “I’m not flirting.”  
He thinks so. Whatever. “Yeah, because your son makes sure of that,” she claims and talks to the boy again, after kissing his cheek. “You’re a good little baby for Mama, aren’t you?”  
When she looks back up to Beck, she actually sees that he smiles as well, as if it amuses him. Well, he doesn’t really care for flirting, even if he uncounciously does it all the time. He wouldn’t care if Benji did keep him from flirting. And he likes Jade being all proud of their son, all happy with him. He pulls her into a kiss.

 

It mainly happens when they are out, that some girl thinks they can flirt with Beck through Benji somehow (sometimes even with Jade kind of right there). Their teachers and everyone in school soon has learned to keep a distance – all the girls, but also the boys who Jade doesn’t like. At least when Jade is close. They have especially learned not to touch Benji, because he seems to just feel the same about everybody as his mother is, only to vocalize it even more and louder.


	19. Break-up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was so excited for this chapter that I just couldn’t stop writing. So here’s the very long chapter about Beck and Jade’s second break-up in this “little” fic. I would really love love love to hear what you think. :)

Jade doesn’t cry all that much anymore. But while she tried to cover her tears with anger before, she now seems really angry way too often. Beck guesses it’s because of stress. He doesn’t feel too stressed himself. Yes, the responsibility for Benjamin, all the care for him... It’s stressful, especially next to school.  
But he still takes his breaks. He relaxes on the bed or couch (no matter if at her or at his place), he watches TV, he texts with his friends. Jade doesn’t seem to do anything anymore, except taking care of Benjamin or working for school.  
And every time, Beck mentions it, he’s somehow at fault, which makes him angry and promptly, they fight. She doesn’t seem to see him as anything except an outlet for her anger anymore.  
When Benjamin is seven weeks old, at the end of April, they get into such a bad fight, that Beck is afraid they will break up. He also can’t really stand it anymore. Jade misunderstands everything he’s saying, she won’t take any advice from him, no matter how well he means, instead she claims he wants to do her bad. He just can’t do anything right for her anymore. So what’s the point?  
They stopped talking to each other at one point, both sitting in silence in her room. He’s on his phone, she seems to finish up school work. As if she’s ever finished.  
But now she walks over to Benjamin, though he’s not asking for attention, shortly plays with him, and suddenly, her holding him, she says: “Beck.”  
He knows something has happened. He needs a second to realize, it must be something good, by the tone of her voice.  
She waves for him to come to her and he throws his phone on the couch and walks up to her, only to see that Benjamin is smiling up to them. Actually and truly smiling for the very first time. Not just pulling some sort of face, passing gas, or as a reflex or whatever... but it’s a smile and it’s for them.  
“Aw, are you happy?” Beck asks him, strokes his cheek with his finger.  
Benjamin makes a gurgling noise and when Beck looks to Jade again, she looks up as well. Having tears in her eyes, though she isn’t as emotional anymore. They share a kiss and Beck knows, somehow they will get through all of this.

But it still gets worse. They don’t even touch anymore when they go to sleep, instead sleep as far away from each other as their small beds allow. Every time, they wake up because of Benjamin, they are close again, their bodies touching, but they still go asleep without cuddling.  
They almost don’t stop fighting anymore – barely giving Benjamin a reason to try his newly discovered smile.  
It’s the Wednesday after Benjamin has turned eight weeks old, at the third of May.  
They had a long school day and are now in the RV. Beck has only quickly done his homework. Both haven’t had much sleep the night before because Benjamin sleeps especially bad at the moment (Jade sometimes wonders if that’s because of the fighting). Jade is still sitting at Beck’s desk, working on a script. Gradstein has told her that the others have written that while she was on maternity leave and he hasn’t sent her the assignment as he thought she wouldn’t have time for it. But she’s now allowed to still hand it in, which she definitely wants to do.  
Benjamin lies in his crib, fast asleep. Beck has played with him. Now, he’s lying on the bed, watching TV.  
They already had dinner and Jade knows that soon enough it’s so late again that she really has to go to bed to be up in the morning again. They both don’t sleep enough as it is. Neither of them catches naps anymore throughout the day, because there is too much else to do.  
“Why don’t you come watch a little TV with me?” Beck asks after a while.  
Yeah, right. Because Jade has actually time for that. “Why don’t you turn the damn volume down?”  
She has a headache. She has had a few of them lately. Just with everything going on and lack of sleep...  
Beck does turn the volume of the TV down, but gently says: “You should take a break.”  
Because he’s the one who should decide what she does with her time. “Don’t tell me what to do.”  
“I just meant...”  
And why does he have to keep talking? He does see that she’s still doing work for school, right? Doesn’t he realize that maybe she can take a break if she wouldn’t get interrupted by him or Benjamin all the time? It’s not Benjamin’s fault – while Beck should be old enough to entertain himself.  
“I don’t care,” she says. “God. Shut up and watch your dumb show.”  
Beck of course doesn’t shut up, but says irritated: “Jade, stop being so angry.”  
“Seriously?” She turns around to him, notices that he has sat up and watches her.  
“I think a break would do you really good,” he now says.  
And he of course knows better than she does. She knows she has to get this done. “And I care so much about what you think!”  
That makes him angry. “Wow, thanks. I am your boyfriend, you know?”  
“Really? I forgot,” she claims. It’s just so stupid to even bring that up. What has him being her boyfriend got to do with anything?  
Beck answers coldly: “So, that’s why you lately behaved, like we aren’t a couple?”  
“What?” she asks irritated. She doesn’t even know what he’s talking about.  
Pointedly, he answers: “I get that with being parents, it’s different. But... You don’t even come to me now and cuddle with me in front of the TV.”  
He can’t be serious. He wants her to stop working on her script for school to... cuddle? “Are you fucking kidding me? I have to get this done!”  
Now, Beck raises his voice as well: “You always have to get something done!”  
Which might be true, but he does understand why, right? “Because, you know, in case you haven’t noticed... Our finals for Sophomore year are coming up and I’ve missed one and half months of school.”  
“I know, but...” Beck starts but Jade interrupts: “No ‘but’s, Beck. I need to catch up!”  
“You never were behind,” Beck claims, still with a raised voice. “You did your homework like normal. You’ll be fine! And the finals aren’t even that important.”  
Of course they are not. The SATs are the important things. But she wants to do those at the end of this very year, at the beginning of next school year. She has to keep her mind active, can’t stay behind until then. She’s certain she will pass the exams this year – but her grades will be an indicator on how well she generally does and... everybody will look at her grades, everybody in school and in her and Beck’s family will judge about those and she just wants to do good. She wants to achieve her dreams.  
“I’ll be fine, right, Beck,” she says sarcastically. “You’re always so relaxed. Guess what? I need to succeed in these exams. I need to graduate from high school. I need to go to college. I have to make something out of me.”  
“And you will,” Beck says, so easily, like he talks. Because everything is always easy for him. “You had no problems last year.”  
“I have a child now,” she reminds him. It isn’t like last year anymore.  
Beck promptly retaliates: “I do, too. Just breathe once in a while, Jade. This is crazy.”  
She can’t believe him. “Now, I’m the crazy one? Because I want to succeed?” She has a dreading feeling inside of her, like so often lately. “Just want me to be your little, pretty wife, taking care of your child, and not having any ambition?”  
Beck pulls one of his dumb faces, unbelieving. “I never said that. Jade! Why do you need to be so overdramatic?”  
Because it’s always her in the wrong. It’s always her acting crazy and overdramatic. “I’m overdramatic? You are the one whining about me not behaving couply enough, while I’m having my hands full with school and our child.”  
And it’s like Benjamin has waited for another mention. Suddenly, he’s very much awake and screaming.  
Jade jumps up and walks over to him, gets him out of the crib, into her arms.  
For a moment, it’s just her calming Benjamin down, then Beck wants to clear up though: “I’m not whining. It’s not... I also want you to take a break for yourself. You can’t work nonstop.”  
What does he know? She gets it. He doesn’t worry about her. He really just wants her close for his own sake, because he feels like that right now. He doesn’t care what she needs.  
“Just let me do what I want,” she spits at him.  
“Why can’t you take any advice?”  
Seriously? He has to know the answer for that one. “Because I’ve had enough of that lately, Beck. It’s my life.”  
“But I am your boyfriend,” he reminds her, as if she doesn’t know.  
But, well... “Maybe, you shouldn’t be anymore. If I’m not enough for you anyway.” If she isn’t ‘couply’ enough for his taste.  
Beck gets even more angry and over Benjamin, who barely is able to calm down, he says: “Are you serious? I never said that.”  
“It sounded like it,” she says and he shrugs and says coldly: “Well, if you want to misunderstand me, maybe we really shouldn’t be a couple.”  
Something inside of her drops. She feels her heart get way heavier than the little boy in her arms.  
Well. She won’t impose herself on him. If he doesn’t want to be together... She won’t force him to be in a relationship with her, just because they have a child together.  
“Fine,” she says and pushes the screaming baby inside his arms, only to have her hands free to pack up her bag for school. Meanwhile, she says, as Beck starts rocking their child. “It’s over then. I’m gonna go home with Benji. You can have him in school for first class.”  
“Fine,” he also says and actually is the one, putting Benjamin into the baby seat, they have taken inside with them today. They leave it in Beck’s car mostly. But today, they used both cars anyway. She realized in the morning that she forgot something at home and made Beck drop her off there before school and told him to already drive there, as they were late as it was. She kept Benjamin as she had him for first class today, and followed Beck with her car then. They both brought their cars back to Beck’s home and considered taking Jade’s back home tomorrow as neither felt like doing it today. Jade now is more than glad to have her car here, so Beck doesn’t need to drive her.  
Beck tries to calm their son down as he puts him into the baby seat, and Benjamin also isn’t screaming anymore. He’s only whiny. Jade knows she can wait until she’s home to truly calm him down.  
When Beck is done, Jade takes the baby seat and leaves without another word. She secures the seat in her car, then gets into it herself and drives home. All the way, she makes ‘sh’ noises for Benjamin to hear her, to know she’s still there, to know everything is okay, though she knows nothing is okay anymore.  
When they arrive, Benjamin isn’t even whining anymore. He doesn’t know his parents have just broken up. And Jade doesn’t realize he’s already calm. As she gets him out of the car, she whispers: “Sh. It’s okay, Benji. We’re gonna be okay.” She isn’t even sure herself if she means herself and Benjamin or herself and Beck.

Her mother is on the phone in her room, when Jade comes home. She must hear Jade and Benjamin arriving, but she probably just assumes Beck is with them. Though even when he isn’t there in the morning, she may shortly narrow her eyes, but she doesn’t say anything about it. It actually also has happened that Beck hasn’t spent the night with Jade and Benjamin since the boy’s birth. Only twice, but it did. Both were regarding a school’s play, still before spring break, when Jade was still home. The first time was because he had trouble learning his lines and Jade got the idea that that might be because of lack of sleep. Beck slept at his home and Jade with Benjamin at hers that night and Beck said he missed Benjamin and had trouble falling asleep because of that at first, but that did help him all in all. The other time was after the after party of their first performance. The students celebrated for quite some time (not necessarily with permission) and Beck knew beforehand he would come home really late – and would need to be up early in the morning again for the midday performance on Saturday. Jade told him that he shouldn’t have to wake up every other hour due to Benjamin with that schedule, which he decided to be smart in the end, so they again slept apart.  
So, it’s not totally unusual and her mother doesn’t necessarily have to wonder right away.

 

The next school day is awful. She and Beck don’t really exchange a word. She only tells him she will have Benjamin for lunch (which she then spends with her son and Cat in an empty classroom, because she doesn’t feel like going to the Asphalt Café; Cat pretends like them eating inside and just the three of them is a totally normal thing). Otherwise they manage to hand Benjamin over each time without having to talk about it.  
Beck directly takes him out of her arms as soon as she arrives in the morning (waiting for them in the parking lot) and she leaves them alone without hesitating.  
The thing is that it works with their classes like before, but they usually spent breaks together. They don’t do that anymore, so they kind of have to decide without talking with whom Benjamin will be for how long.  
Jade hands Benjamin to Beck in one break, which is surrounded by two classes she takes care of Benjamin. Of course, Beck should have him in between. No, not of course. Jade would love to not walk over to him, to avoid him altogether. She feels like ripping his head off (though at least she doesn’t feel like crying – she might’ve cried last night at home a little bit, after Benjamin was cared for and in his crib, but her hormones are at least mostly back in check).  
She won’t attack him. She won’t even fight with him again. He isn’t worth her anger.  
But he still is a good father and Jade doesn’t want to take his father away from her son. Not if it’s such a loving and caring one and they already have such a good connection. She herself had a shitty father – and still is in touch with him and loves him. Beck is so much better and Benjamin should keep close to him. Jade will do anything to make that possible. No matter what happens between her and Beck, or how much she hates him.  
She has even expressed milk again this morning, like every school morning, to enable Beck to have Benjamin like usual and even feed him. She won’t destroy the bond between father and son.  
But she also won’t spend more time than necessary with Beck. So, she might hand Benjamin to Beck that one break, but leaves him after that and comes back at the end of the break to get Benjamin again without a word.

Jasper is the first to ask about the two of them, quite innocently, after their friends pretended like nothing was out of the ordinary. Jade lets him play with Benjamin in her room that late afternoon, and it’s there that he asks after a while: “Where is Beck?”  
She just rolls her eyes and tells him with a sharp voice: “None of your business.”  
For a moment, he seems to want to question it further, but she tells him to get back to his nephew and after another moment, he does.  
Their mother only asks Jade about Beck the next day. It’s Friday and their mother has come back early from work, but Jade has still stayed in her room with Benjamin until dinner, doing homework and taking care of her little boy.  
Now, they are sitting at the table together, Benjamin on the blanket in the living room, Jade always one eye on him from the kitchen table.  
She knows her mother won’t be as easily satisfied with Jade not saying anything like Jasper, when she finally poses the question: “Where is Beck?”  
Jade knows she will have to tell. She picks on the rest of her food, already annoyed by thinking of her mother’s reaction. And she might be a little afraid that her mother will be disappointed. Because her mother might always have idiotic boyfriends and therefore of course has to break up with them sooner or later. Beck is idiotic too, obviously, but her mother probably won’t see it that way. Everyone deems Beck perfect, her mother must as well, and must be disappointed in Jade for not trying to keep a guy like that, especially as they have a child together.  
But whatever... To cover her worries, she suggests with an eyeroll to the question where Beck might be: “Home? With some girl? I don’t care.”  
Her mother looks at her with raised eyebrows, and Jade says the words for the first time: “We broke up.”  
Her mother doesn’t seem really disappointed: “When?”  
“Two days ago,” Jade answers truthfully.  
Now her mother scolds her: “Jade! Why haven’t you said so?”  
That’s just stupid. “Because it’s none of your business.”  
“That might have been true before you had a child,” her mother pointedly says. “It might even be true now. But have you and Beck talked at all about how often he will see Benjamin? He has rights. He is his father.”  
“I know,” Jade answers annoyed. She isn’t dumb. “I still gave him to him for some classes.”  
Her mother disregards that with a wave of her hand. “That’s good but I’m pretty sure his parents will want to talk about this, to agree on certain times. Also for them to see the child. Or for Beck to also have him some afternoons and to see him on the weekend. They probably don’t know yet?”  
Like Jade cares if his parents know. But yeah, his parents will care. They probably don’t know as they would’ve immediately called otherwise. They did want to have custody before Benjamin’s birth. They won’t like hearing that their son will see less of his own son than before. (And he will see less of him, even if Jade would be willing to split the care half-way, as they otherwise both were around Benjamin constantly.)  
“Probably,” she now just answers and her mother decides: “We will visit them today. Let me call them.”  
She stands up, without having eaten up, and gets the home phone.  
Jade knows what she will do then. After she has had Benjamin for herself the last two nights... She knows it won’t be easy, but she wants Benjamin to have both of them, to be close to both of them.  
“Ask them to meet in an hour the earliest.”  
Her mother doesn’t question it. “Fine.” And she turns to Jasper, who has watched their talk in silent. “I will also search for someone to watch you.”  
Jasper scrunches up his nose. “I can stay home alone.”  
Jade rolls her eyes. She knows her mother’s answers, before it comes: “You can’t. But I bet your father or my parents have time.”

 

Beck is out with Robbie, Rex and Andre to eat, when his parents call and order him home. He’s pretty sure to know what it’s about though they don’t say anything.  
But it most certainly will be about the break-up. The inevitable break-up of Jade and him. He knows it’s for the better. They really have not behaved like a couple anymore. They might have been around each other all the time, but if she can’t even cuddle with him for a minute and relax... This way she can learn, without him interrupting or whatever. It’s fine. That still means he doesn’t want to talk about it.  
He hasn’t talked about it with Andre, at whom’s place he has invited himself to stay for the last two nights, and he certainly doesn’t want to talk to his parents about it. His parents who always thought Jade and he aren’t right for each other.  
Because he didn’t feel like talking to them about it, he has stayed with Andre. He and Jade are supposed to tell his parents when Benjamin stays over in the RV for emergencies, just in case. They don’t have to do it anymore by the time Benjamin is half a year old, but with him being two months, they still do. He didn’t feel like them seeing the light on in the RV, and coming and asking if Benjamin is there, and if not, why not. That’s why he just hasn’t really been home since the break-up. He has kind of spent one hour alone after the break-up, and has then gotten into the car and driven over to Andre’s.  
But Jade must have told. He knows before he arrives at home and finds his parents in the living room, both looking almost anxious.  
He doesn’t understand why they seem to nervous at first. Until his mother asks, without them exchanging any sort of greeting, though they also haven’t seen each other since the day before yesterday: “Is Jade pregnant again?”  
“What?” Beck asks confused. “No. Why?” She can’t be as they didn’t have sex since the birth with her body first needing to recover, and then all the stress and both of them not really feeling like it, out of stress and because of the fighting.  
“Because her mother called and said we need to talk again,” his mother says. And their minds jumped to the last time, they have gotten a call like that, which resulted in the announcement of the pregnancy.  
His father checks the clock above the door while he adds: “They’ll come by in half an hour.”  
Well, and just like with the pregnancy, Beck probably should tell them themselves, instead of Caitlyn giving them the news: “Jade probably told her mother that we broke up.”  
His parents change a surprised glance. They haven’t counted on that.  
“Why haven’t you told us?” his father asks, only for his mother to follow up: “When have you broken up?”  
And because they probably won’t understand the reason for the first, he just answers the second question: “Two days ago.”  
His parents share another glance. “Where have you been during nights?”  
“At Andre’s,” he answers.  
“Why?” his father asks.  
He rolls his eyes. “Because I didn’t feel like telling you.”  
His parents luckily don’t question that. Instead, his mother says: “You do realize that this changes everything?”  
“It doesn’t,” he answers. Well, it changes his whole life, but it doesn’t change anything for his parents at all.  
His mother says though: “Be glad that Caitlyn got to know about it. We’ll make sure you still get to see your son.”  
Okay, she thinks Jade will keep him from his child. And hopes that Caitlyn will be more grown-up about it, which she must be as she called on her own accord after she found out about the break-up.  
“I am still seeing him,” Beck points out because he does. Maybe not as much as he would like to. He missed him the last two nights and also yesterday and today after school. He might have also been without Benjamin during the first month when he was in school and his son at home with Jade, but that doesn’t make it any easier now. On the other hand: He won’t force Jade to give him their son for a whole day, after she has just got used to spending every other class without him. She is the mother and... for now, it’s cool that he’s still having him around a lot in school. Yeah, now the weekend is coming up and he doesn’t know how that will work as he also doesn’t feel like talking to Jade much right now. But he planned on texting her tomorrow and asking if he can take Benjamin for a walk, which she probably would’ve allowed.  
His mother now says though: “At school? You also should have him sometimes after school.”  
“Whatever,” he just says, because obviously, Caitlyn and Jade now will come over anyway and they’ll see.

 

Jade has a dreading feeling as she takes the baby seat with Benjamin out of her mother’s car, while her mother gets the bag. Here they are. At Beck’s home. She doesn’t feel like seeing his parents. She feels even less like seeing Beck. But she guesses they will have to get through this.  
Beck definitely also doesn’t like to see her. He does try to get a glance on Benjamin, but for now, Jade will keep him close to herself in his seat.  
They sit as far away from each other as possible in the Olivers’ living room, with their parents sitting between them.  
Finally, Leah says to Jade’s mother while they are all still settling in: “We’re glad you called us. Our son doesn’t seem to want to tell us anything.”  
Jade’s mother easily answers: “Jade also only told me because I noticed Beck wasn’t at our home the last two nights, while Jade was, and they also didn’t spend the evenings together, which has been unusual recently. But yes, I thought we should talk. Sorry for coming by so late.”  
“No, sure,” Nathaniel says. “We definitely want to talk about this.”  
“I don’t know why. We’re dealing with it,” Beck cuts in.  
And Jade might also not like talking about this, but they are dealing with this? Seriously? When they have barely said a word to each other since their break-up? She also doesn’t want to talk to him, but they obviously have to make some sort of agreement over this. It would probably be smart for their parents to figure this one out. At least, they are definitely not ‘dealing with it’.  
“Yeah, right,” she therefore says and Beck promptly glares at her. Against their parents, they are usually a united front. But she’ll show him how much ‘not-couply’ she can be. He whined about some cuddling, while she always treated him like her boyfriend, without questions. She obviously won’t anymore.  
For a moment, it’s silent, while she and Beck glare at each other, then Nathaniel asks: “How does it work in school?”  
Both Jade and Beck turn away from each other, as Beck answers: “We’re still splitting it like before. We’re just not spending the breaks together.”  
“That sounds good,” Leah admits, before she looks to Jade and says: “Maybe, Beck also could have him an hour every afternoon. Or longer every other. For a start.”  
Because she obviously wants Beck to have him at least as much as Jade does, eventually. And she tries to be nice about it right now, but Jade has no doubt that Leah will go to court if Jade would deny Beck any time next to school. Not like Jade would ever deny him contact to his son in any way. She does want her son to have his father close in his life.  
Her mother now suggests: “If you could act in Benjamin’s best interest, you also could still spend some afternoon all together.”  
“No,” Beck and she immediately say at the same time. And Jade gets angry again. What a stupid idiot. First, he insists on being all physically close to her and now he can’t even stand spending one minute with her. Right.  
Not to mention how annoying it is that they said the same word at the same time. In an irritated tone, she now adds: “He can have him some afternoons. Don’t make a big deal out of it.”  
Leah – like so often – doesn’t like her tone, as visible in her face. In a cold tone herself, she points out: “Eventually, he also should have him every other night.”  
Jade knows that. No, not every father should have their children over night (not every parent in general). She has only once slept over at her father’s place. It’s fine. But Beck is already so close to Benjamin and she does want Benjamin to feel at home with Beck, just as much as he feels home with her.  
So, she now, after taking a deep breath, says: “He can have him tonight.”  
The whole Oliver family looks at her in surprise. Her mother has known about it before and told her that it wasn’t necessary, that not even Beck’s parents would ask that of her, that she only has to do what she feels comfortable with.  
But she does feel comfortable with this. She may not like it, she of course would like Benjamin around herself at all times, but... if there’s one person on this whole world she trusts Benjamin with... it’s Beck. He is the father of this child.  
She now explains, without looking at Beck though, because she might change her mind out of anger if she looks at him: “I’ve expressed as much milk as I can.” Which is ready in bottles in the bag her mother has brought in. “I will also bring by some more right before going to bed. It should be good for at least six hours. But you can freeze some of it, so you can use it for longer. You do know how to heat it up properly?”  
That is directed at Beck with a short glance. And at least he directly answers. “Yes.”  
Jade shrugs: “Then, I’ll leave him here for the night.”  
Curiously enough, it’s Leah who says, as if she knows what this must mean for Jade, as a mother herself: “You don’t have to.”  
“He is his father,” Jade says, though she still can’t help but shoot him a short glare. “And Benji is used to him, so he shouldn’t care.” And Beck also has survived two nights without Benjamin. She will manage as well, somehow. She will get used to it, just like to the walks and the classes where she and Benjamin have been apart.  
And Benjamin still is a newborn of sorts, only eight weeks old. They both can easily soothe him with their voices. And as long as he’s fed and comforted... he doesn’t really care yet who does it. He will reach an age where he will care – and Jade wants him to be fine around both herself and his father, as much as she might hate him.  
Leah is again the one, making sure to say, intently: “Then know, you can come by the whole night.” She turns to her own son, strictly: “Beck, you won’t complain if she wakes you up in the middle of the night. And you will call her if something is wrong.”  
Beck looks a little annoyed, because he himself probably thinks that he obviously will do that. He also doesn’t look at Jade at all, but at his mother, as he answers: “I will.”  
Nathaniel mildly notices: “I guess they are dealing with it quite grown-up.”  
“Let’s hope so,” Jade’s mother says. “But we should keep an eye on it, so they both get their fair share.”  
Nathaniel suggests: “As soon as they get into some sort of rythm, we probably should talk alimony once more.”  
“Maybe, we can talk on the phone next week,” Leah says, to which Jade’s mother agree.  
And that’s that.  
They all stand up and start saying good-bye. Jade lifts the baby seat onto the couch and takes Benjamin out of the seat. The boy is asleep again. She pulls him all the way up to her face, kisses his cheek, before she whispers: “Hey, baby. You’re gonna stay with your daddy. I’ll come by later to kiss you goodnight.”  
She walks up to Beck and puts her little precious child into his arms, while she says: “I’ll come by to bring more milk in two hours. I don’t want to talk to you.”  
She doesn’t want him to greet her or anything. Well, apparently they can agree on that. At least, he coldly answers: “No problem.”  
Which only makes her angry again, but whatever. She leaves without another word, with her mother following her after saying a final goodbye to the family.

 

Jade does drive by Beck’s place again two hours later. The door of the RV stands open, as if Beck is also not even ready for her to knock or something, to have to open the door for her.  
She has a container with more milk with her. When she walks in, Beck lies on his bed, Benjamin, too, already in pajamas, in his arms, Beck watching TV.  
Beck sits up as she walks in, she puts the container on his desk, before she picks up her son from the bed.  
“My little baby,” she says. “You’re good, yes?” She drops a kiss on his forehead. “Have a great night. I’ll be back in the morning.”  
And okay, there’s one thing she will have to talk to Beck about. Or she at least should. So, she addresses Beck after all: “I’ll come by to get him at... 7am.” She needs a second to decide on a time there. She wants to get Benjamin as early as possible. It’s a Saturday though and they could sleep in. She guesses that seven o’clock is pretty much the first time she thinks is also okay for a Saturday.  
“Okay,” Beck just says and she kisses Benjamin again for a long time, before she lies him into his ex-boyfriend’s arms, then she leaves the RV without another word.

 

He knows it must be hard for her. He hated to be apart from Benjamin over night the four times he had to live through it by now. It must be even tougher for Jade.  
And he may be seriously annoyed by her at the moment, but he’s still also grateful to her. Obviously, everyone would’ve understood it if she wouldn’t have him let Benjamin over night at first, to not be apart from him herself. It means a lot to him to still get Benjamin, at least for this one night.  
And he also does know how to take care of Benjamin. He keeps him up at night (though he honestly also hasn’t slept well the two nights before with missing Benjamin and angrily thinking about Jade too much), but Beck can handle it. He has also handled it the two months before.  
Just now, he has given him a bottle (luckily hasn’t had to get one of those in the freezer in his parents’ house yet, because that would take a lot longer) and now cradles the little boy as he waits for him to fall back asleep.  
It’s then, that he notices his phone vibrating. He sees it’s Jade calling. Well, and with them having a son together, he has to pick up.  
He does. “Yeah?”  
It’s silent on the other end, except a quiet breath. Jade is probably lying in bed, doubting her own decision to call him, especially now in the middle of the night.  
But he gets it. She needs to make sure Benjamin is okay. She needs to check in.  
They may not be on good terms, but Jade lets their son stay with him for the night – and he will let her check in. But she should decide herself if she wants to talk or just listen to the end of the phone, listen if Benjamin is crying or most likely fast asleep.  
Only after at least a minute in silence, she says, quietly, not harshly at all. “I didn’t want to wake you.”  
That’s like an apology for her. Easily and truthfully, he answers: “It’s fine. Benji did.”  
And then, it’s quiet again. Beck looks down to their son that’s lying in his other arm, indeed back asleep. Jade must hear that he isn’t crying in the background. But just so she knows he has woken Beck up with a regular need, that it’s nothing for Jade to worry about: “I just finished giving him the bottle and wanted to put him back to bed.”  
But somehow, Beck doesn’t want Jade to think that Benjamin... doesn’t care that Jade isn’t around. Beck is sure he does care. He does notice. He’s still able to sleep soundly, luckily, but still... Promptly, he says: “I think he misses you.”  
“He doesn’t,” Jade answers though, without hesitation. “I know he’s fine with you. I wouldn’t have left him with you otherwise.”  
That means a whole lot to him. Because that also means that she trusts him. And that she still loves him. Not that he has doubted that. He knows she loves him. And god, damn, he loves her too. He loves her so much. But... What’s he supposed to do? Recently, she always has been out to fight him. He gives her well meaning advice, she lashes out at him. He can’t do it anymore.  
It’s silent for another moment, then Jade decides: “Anyway... See you in the morning.”  
“Feel free to come by a little early,” he offers because she should if she misses him so much. So much that she obviously can’t sleep, as it’s just about 3am as he notices looking at his clock.  
“I’ll see,” Jade says and the next second, she has hung up.  
He takes a deep breath, puts his phone aside again and walks to the crib with Benjamin in his arms, telling the little boy: “Your mommy called, huh? She’s worried about you. But she knows we’re fine. She and I are fine too, don’t worry. We love you more than anything.”

 

When Benjamin wakes him again half past six, he decides to just stay awake until Jade comes over to pick Benjamin up. He guesses he can still get back to sleep afterwards.  
He stays in his pajamas and it’s five minutes before seven, when Jade knocks on his door.  
He opens it, Benjamin in his arms, whom she also directly takes, looking so damn relieved as she sees their son.  
“Hi, baby,” she says to him and spreads kisses all over his face.  
Well, and obviously she will take him home with her now again. But it’s Saturday. Beck won’t see him again unless they agree on it, unless... Jade lets him.  
“When can I see him again?”  
Jade only glances at him, quickly covering all her happiness to see her son after a night without him, because those kind of feelings aren’t anymore for him to see. “You can come in the afternoon and get him for a few hours. We can do it the other way around on Sunday.”  
“Okay,” he agrees, before he also gets her the baby seat and sends her on her way, before going back to bed.

 

Their gentle phone call three nights into their seperation remains their secret. They never talk about it again and are definitely back to very much and harshly being broken up when they see each other that Saturday afternoon.  
Beck gets a water-boiler and an ice box into his RV for the milk for those nights, Benjamin stays with him, so he doesn’t always have to go into his parents’ house in the middle of the night to feed his son. He puts both on top of his coffee table, as it’s always in the way on the floor and it’s the only other free space.  
It’s working. Jade seems to get used to let go of Benjamin every other night – as does Beck.  
They also start to talk to each other again, at least about the necessary thing: the care of their son. Though it also happens that they just start fighting again.  
One time, Beck comes by early on a Sunday to get Benjamin, and is willing to wait longer, but Jade tells him he can take him already as she has to learn anyway.  
To which he replies: “Of course.” Because she still doesn’t know how to take a break, still can only learn or take care of their son.  
Jade immediately gets angry at that: “Don’t give me that, Beck.”  
“I’m just saying...” he starts, again wants to give her the advice to take a break, but she interrupts: “I don’t care. Leave!”  
He’s pretty sure, she doesn’t send him out without Benjamin. Still... “You are so irrational!”  
“And I care so damn much about your opinion!” she shoots back. “Why do you think you always have to judge over me?”  
“I don’t,” he says because he isn’t judging. She just has to take everything personal all the time. “Don’t be ridiculous.”  
Jade uses her deathliest glare on him. “Don’t annoy me any longer or I will start to hurt you.”  
To which he sarcastically has to respond: “I’m so scared.” As if.  
And he knows it kind of offends her, because she prides herself on being able to scare anyone, though she never did him. “Leave, now.”  
They don’t exchange one word when he comes back with Benjamin later, nor the next day in school.

 

The thing is... He does start to understand Jade better during the next weeks. With getting used to being apart from Benjamin every other night, and being used to being apart from Jade, he’s actually able to sleep nights through again at some point. Which he hasn’t really done since Benjamin’s birth. And he hasn’t known how much he has missed that, how irritated he has gotten because of lack of sleep. He thought lack of sleep was just a minor thing adding to Jade’s and his fighting. He realizes it has been quite a big part of it.  
Now, with much more sleep, it’s just easier for him to be rational himself.  
He knows why she works so hard for school, even though nobody will care for her grades in Sophomore year in a few years. But she needs to prove a point now. Not to him but to herself and everybody else. He gets it, because she always had ambition and she always was scared like hell that having a child so early meant that she would have to give up on all her dreams.  
Yes, he still thinks she should take breaks. She works too hard, which makes her unconcentrated and not work sufficiently, which is just stupid. But he could’ve approached the subject much better. Instead of giving her oh so great “advice”, which she had to understand wrong with so many people telling her what to do since the start of the pregnancy, he should’ve tried to tell her about his concerns about her overworking herself. Maybe, he should have even tried to give Benjamin to either of their parents at least for a few minutes during a weekend, to have an actually calm conversation with her about it – and to give her real time to relax.  
But it was hard for him to be calm about it himself. Not just because of lack of sleep and the stress that taking care of a baby naturally results in. But he realizes that he indeed missed the physical contact with her. Rationally, he knows that she loved him, but... he realizes he has felt... neglected... which he now feels really stupid about. Jade should priorities their child and school. School at least in some senses. It probably would’ve gotten better over the break anyway, after she proved her point that she can be a young mother and still be smart and get good grades.  
And he also should’ve just told her that the lack of physical contact made him unsure about their relationship (and made him needy for even more). They could’ve talked about it. But instead, he just got more irritated. It wasn’t just Jade lashing out. It was him lashing out just as much.  
He just sort of missed her then. He misses her even more right now. What would he give for her being back at his desk, working. Being around. Talking to him in any positive way. Sharing her troubles with him, her stress. Letting him share as well. How he misses everything about her.  
God, he still loves her so much. But does Jade after all the words they have thrown at each other’s heads? Will she ever be open to try it with him again, to have a calm talk about it?  
He’s unsure and is afraid to make it worse again after it has gone quite well between the two of them for a week.

 

It doesn’t work. That’s just how it is. But she misses him like crazy. She loves him; she hates seeing him because she just loves him so much.  
But he just doesn’t understand that she has to work hard, harder than ever. Though... maybe not as hard as she has. Or just differently.  
She hasn’t been able to concentrate as much since the break-up. She tries to claim that’s because of Benjamin now being away from her so much. She’s sure though it’s also about Beck. Anyway... She now tries to work even harder, just to get distracted from this feeing of lonliness, but that doesn’t work. And soon enough, she finds herself just lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling, and wishing Beck would hold her. What she would give to have him there, to feel his body next to hers, to feel his hand playing with her fingers.  
After she starts sleeping every other night through, she realizes that Beck didn’t mean to demand anything from her. He didn’t want to force himself upon her or something. He really wanted her to take breaks from learning. And he just missed her physically close. Which she gets, because she realizes she missed it as well. She just didn’t notice at the time, because there was so much else in her head. If she just would’ve given in and would’ve taken one of those stupid suggested breaks, would’ve cuddled up with Beck in front of the TV like so often before... She would’ve immediately felt better, she’s sure.  
On the other hand... He already thought she worked too much, when she in fact didn’t. Even when she was still home with Benjamin, though she really didn’t do all that much back then. But he has to understand that she needs to concentrate every now and then, that she needs to work for school, that she isn’t as relaxed about it as he is, just watching TV all day long when Benjamin doesn’t need them. She once also was able to be more relaxed about it (though she always had ambition and did her work thoroughly), but she needs to work harder now. Does he really not get that?  
She won’t always be ready to cuddle with him, just because he wants her to. To show him they are still a couple or whatever.

 

Benjamin is eleven weeks old, it’s the 27th of May, a Saturday, and Beck and Jade are broken up for three and a half weeks.  
The little boy has stayed the night with Beck and Jade has just now gone into the RV and taken her son out of the crib. She has greeted him with some sweet words. By now, they are able to be around each other again for a while, while handing Benjamin over.  
It’s then, that Beck suddenly says: “I miss you, Jade.”  
Jade turns around. He’s sitting on his bed and watches her. He doesn’t look like he has planned on saying it. But he also doesn’t look as if he regrets it.  
And well... she may not like it, but, avoiding his gaze, she confesses: “I miss you, too.”  
“I still love you,” Beck continues, and hell, yeah, Jade still loves him too. But what’s the point of this converation? Why is Beck saying it?  
“So?”  
She notices Beck shifting slightly. “Don’t you still love me?”  
That’s not the point.  
“This isn’t working, Beck,” she pointedly says, finally looking him right in the eye. “Apparently, I’m not enough for you.”  
“You know I never said that,” Beck says and... yes, of course Jade knows that. Still.  
She doesn’t want him to expect her being all up close to him again, when she just can’t be sometimes. She doesn’t want to feel this pressure to always jump into his arms when he asks for it.  
When she doesn’t say anything, he continues, standing up: “I was a little pissed that you didn’t seem to want to be close at all anymore. But I understood. In a way. I definitely understand now. And I really just wanted you to have some time off every now and then.”  
“I can’t just take time off, Beck,” she says because sometimes she won’t be able to.  
“I know,” Beck actually answers. “I guess, we just handle all this stress differently. I need you as close as possible, while you work as hard as you can.” He adds with a small smile: “I guess your approach is the smart way to go.”  
And Jade hasn’t thought about that yet. Okay, it makes sense. She does handle the stress by working harder. She just wants to make sure to succeed. And Beck would be the guy to get... more needy because of stress. Why hasn’t she seen that before? Of course he snapped at her like he did. In his needy state, her resistant to come cuddle with him at any point, must have felt like her not loving him anymore. He might now also see that that’s stupid but... she should’ve seen before. She should’ve been more attentive and should’ve noticed that he actually... really needed her close. That he wasn’t just an idiot who wanted her close and demanded it and then behaved like a toddler when he didn’t get what he wanted. But he actually needed it in every sense of the word.  
And she already realized that she needed it as well without noticing.  
She now finally confesses: “I should take a break every now and then. I always love to be close to you, too. But... I just felt like I had not time.”  
Tentatively, Beck steps up to her and Benjamin in her arms. “Do you want to try again?”  
And is it that easy? Is it really that easy? Will everything suddenly be fine again?  
Beck sees her sceptism and says: “I will never keep you from learning again, except if you specifically say you want me to.”  
That’s a start. And she can watch to never give him the feeling anymore that she doesn’t care for him. That would lower both their stress levels. Which maybe is enough to enable them to work out their other differences.  
Beck continues, intently: “We love each other. And we know we both weren’t straight-minded at the time, with Benji keeping us up so much. But why should we stay apart? I think we make a really good couple.”  
They do, don’t they? And yes, Jade is also sure, lack of sleep had a lot to do with them being irritated with each other. She now realizes that she otherwise would’ve noticed Beck’s need to have her close.  
Still, she has to check one more thing. Maybe, not too seriously, but still... she does wonder, she does worry sometimes. “Are you just saying that because of Benji? Because you don’t want him growing up in a broken home?” Like she did?  
And she doesn’t ever want Beck to only be together with her for Benjamin. She doesn’t want to ask herself daily if he still would be with her if they wouldn’t have a son. She doesn’t want to wonder about his love for her as herself, not as the mother of his child.  
He understands the question, because he understands her. He knows her inside and out.  
He suddenly takes Benjamin out of her arms and has her step away slightly to put him back into his crib. Then, he takes her hands in his as he says: “I love you, Jade. With or without Benjamin. I love you as this incredibly smart, witty, driven girl. I want you to be my girlfriend again.”  
She believes him. And she knows she can believe him because she trusts him.  
She frees her hands from his, only to be able to wrap her arms around him as she pulls him into a close kiss. Soon, they get lost in a long make-out session.

 

Summer break doesn’t start too long after them getting back together and it’s much easier to get sleep then, because they both catch up on sleep whenever Benjamin takes a few hours over the day.  
At the end of summer break, they talk about it for a long time, before they decide to rather sleep apart during school nights, so that both get to sleep through some nights and are not both constantly stressed at the same time. There are exceptions, but all in all, it works better for them, even though they are so used to each other, that they not just miss Benjamin, if he isn’t with them, on those nights but each other just as much.  
The stress still gets to them every now and then and they do fight quite crazy the more stress there is. But at the end of the day, Beck always knows to let Jade do her work, to support her in achieving her dreams, while Jade knows to assure Beck of their relationship. It happens more than once, that she’s still working on some papers but lying in his arms in either of their beds, while he just enjoys her company, the TV off to not disturb Jade with her work.  
They deal with it. Because they do love each other and they do want to make their relationship, their little family, work.


	20. Sex, Too much, Photos, Looks, Second child

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!  
> Here is the next chapter that’s so much shorter than the previous one.  
> Yeah, this chapter has a few different scenes that are only connected by the fact that they all happen during Beck and Jade’s summer break. The first part is – warning! – about sex. If that’s not for you, just jump to the first big break in the chapter (marked by o’s, small and big).  
> Enjoy!

Jade starts to feel more comfortable in her own skin again.  
Still before the break-up, her doctor has given Jade the okay to do sports again. She was supposed to slowly ease back into it. But she didn’t do anything at first because of lack of time. And then, when Benji started staying over with Beck every now and then and she missed her son like crazy... She went running. Every night without Benji, she took a long run, to then just quickly shower and fall into bed exhausted and directly fall asleep, without having to think about Benji too much.  
It did her good. Not only as a distraction and to exhaust her enough, but actually because she finally starts losing her pregnancy weight. She guesses her body will never be the same again, never exactly like before the pregnancy, but it gets better again. And she actually starts feeling sexy again, which she hasn’t for some time now.  
She also starts wanting to have sex again. She also has had urges sometimes right before the break-up. But as both Beck and her were stressed and also were fighting a lot, there wasn’t really a time where they ever got close to having sex.  
Now that they are back together, Jade finally wants to go for it again. Especially after their finals for Sophomore year, when they are on break.  
They have a few chances here and there. Nothing too big. It’s more like them letting her mother and his parents each take a walk with Benjamin for half an hour which gives them that half hour actually alone. But they use it to doze off instead, which Jade isn’t happy about but accepts. She tries to start something with Beck, but he slows done each time and they somehow just end up cuddling. Which is great as well and if he needs to sleep... well, fine.  
There are more risky moments. A minute here or there, like when Jade gets herself a drink while their whole group of friends is over at Cat’s, and Beck goes with her, while leaving Benji with their friends for a minute. They could just sneak off into the bathroom. They have done that sort of thing when visiting his family in Canada before the pregnancy. But Jade also gets that he doesn’t feel like it.  
At the end of June, Jade is at a point where she is about to have sex with Beck, while Benji is fast asleep just mere feet away in his crib, all of them in the RV. Beck might also not say a word there but with his reaction to her kissing, he shows her that at some point he just doesn’t want to go further and she accepts it. In restospect, she’s also glad they didn’t do it, because other people might not have a problem with it and Benji also wouldn’t remember or even notice either way, but she also feels uncomfortable having sex right next to her sleeping child. Which is why she also doesn’t like the thought of doing it in the bathroom of the RV with Benji sleeping in the other room – the RV is way too small and it’s still too close to Benji.  
But by now, she gets a sickening feeling. Yes, Beck still wants to touch her a lot (she would hate him if he wouldn’t, as her not touching was one of the reasons for their break-up), but that’s really mostly cuddling and some slow kissing. Everything else, he seems to quickly block. God, and she has known this would happen, hasn’t she?

 

It’s still the end of June, they are now back together for a month and hadn’t had sex for about five months, as they also didn’t do it the last time like... the day before birth.  
Jade had the talk with Leah the previous night, where the woman told her she actually thinks she is a good mother. Beck is gone filming today, but later, they will give Benji to whomever of his parents is home first, to have time alone. Jade is sure to have seen the same thought in Beck’s head as in hers at that moment. They will have enough time to really enjoy each other. And yes, to have sex.  
So maybe, the other moments just didn’t work for him. Maybe, it’s not about what she thinks it’s about.  
Beck tells her all about his experience on set, when he’s back, and is still right in the middle of it, when they hear his father come home.  
They do decide to give Benji to him for a while. Nathaniel has heard about Leah’s promise to Jade this morning and now tells them they should at least take an hour for themselves, but can also take longer. But that he also wants to hear everything about Beck’s filming afterwards, when they get Benji back, which Beck promises.  
And then, they are alone in the RV. Beck remains talking for a while, before they start kissing like they sometimes do (also around Benji).  
Jade pushes Beck down on the couch after a while, stradles his lap and starts opening his shirt, kissing down his neck. He runs his hands under her top, onto her skin, pushes her top up.  
She gets back to kiss him on his lip, which he fiercly returns, then she moves down again, but all of the sudden, Beck raises his voice: “Oh, and there was this other extra on set, she was so giddy.”  
He obviously wants to tell her more about it, but Jade draws back, gets up from his lap, sits down on the edge of the couch next to him instead, crossing her arms in front her chest.  
Coldly, she cuts through: “So, am I unattractive now?”  
Maybe, he did just remember that he wanted to tell her about that stupid extra. But if he wanted to have sex with her, he never would’ve started with that now. He could’ve waited until later. It can’t be that important. So, he just doesn’t want to have sex.  
Because he finds her unattractive or the birth is still in his head or both.  
Beck hurries to sit up. He gets her question. He knows. Because he has diverted from having sex all the time intentionally. “You are not.”  
“Yeah, right,” she says, because what other reason could there be?  
“Jade,” he starts but... god, they talked about this before.  
She isn’t as emotional anymore as before the pregnancy. She hasn’t had tears in her eyes for weeks now, especially after being back together with Beck, not considering her talk with Leah the prior night. She ridiculously feels them welling up now, while she desperately says: “You promised me this wouldn’t happen.”  
And she knows this is stupid. If the birth has... traumatized him or whatever, it wouldn’t be his fault. But... it wasn’t supposed to happen. He said it wouldn’t happen. What will they do now?  
“Jade,” Beck starts again, putting a hand on her shoulder, which she slaps away. “I promise this isn’t because I find you unattractive or whatever. You’re still the most attractive girl I know.”  
“But?” she asks harshly.  
For a moment, they look at each other, before Beck quietly confesses: “I’m afraid to get you pregnant again.”  
Okay. Jade hasn’t counted on that. She hasn’t even thought about the fact that that could be the reason. “Seriously?”  
“Yes,” Beck says. “It’s like... I look at you and totally want to go there, but as soon as we get started, I just...”  
He shrugs. He’s actually seriously afraid of that. He’s afraid she could get pregnant again and they suddenly would need to decide again if they would abort or have the child. How could they ever make such a hard decision again? And how would their parents react?  
Okay, and Jade always had the feeling that Beck did want to touch her and first was into making out as much as she was, and just suddenly didn’t feel like it anymore at some point. Those were probably the moments, where the fear overcame him.  
He possibly did think he could fight it this time, with them having much more time at their hands, being able to go more slowly about it.  
And he really shouldn’t be afraid. She points out: “It won’t happen again. We will use a condom and I will start with the pill again soon. And I swear to god, if now the condom breaks again, of course I will take the morning after pill. I obviously should’ve done the last time.”  
They’ve learnt that lesson after all. Never trust that nothing will happen just that one time.  
Beck looks at her without saying a word. And god, she does want to sleep with him again. But she won’t force or pressure him. She never would. And she doesn’t know what he thinks what they will do then. Like... Will they only have sex again when it would be okay if they have another child, like in their twenties? She doesn’t know if she can wait that long.  
But she will deal with it for now, if he just can’t do it right now. They possibly have to talk about it again in a quieter moment then.  
“But fine. Then not,” she decides and wants to get up and somehow at least a little away from Beck for this second.  
But he stops her from getting up, grabs her arm, and suddenly pulls her into another kiss. When they break apart again, they look in each other’s eyes and Beck whispers after a moment: “Let’s try.”  
He means it. He also doesn’t want to be followed by that fear, wants to get over it, finally wants to be close to her in that way again as well. Maybe encouraged by Jade’s understanding, or by having been able to talk about it at all.  
They do try and very much succeed, going there slower than ever before for Beck to have chances to stop again. He’s over that fear after their first time since Benji’s birth. It’s still in the back of his mind sometimes, but he also does rationally know that the chances are very rare to make a child, if you seriously protect, if you are not dumb about it.  
And being close again even in that way, also relieves a lot of stress and takes insecurities away from both of them.

o  
O  
o

It’s just a few days later, the beginning of July. They are staying at Jade’s place at the moment, it’s the middle of the night and Beck has stood up to take care of Benji after he has started crying. He has gone to change him, Jade has fallen back asleep only to wake up again at Benji crying once more. As far as she understands the situation, as she opens her eyes back up, Beck wanted to put Benji back to bed, which the little boy hasn’t appreciated. Instead he has started crying again.  
Beck cradles him, makes shushing noises, which means, everything is taken care of. Jade closes her eyes, but only slightly dozes off as Benji keeps crying.  
She hears Beck whisper at first, then singing a little, then getting slightly impatient: “Come on, baby. Sh. Calm down. Sleep. Sh.”  
With his almost unnerved tone, obviously he won’t be able to calm Benji down anymore. Well... She doesn’t know what’s going on, why he is already so unnerved. She has stood up the last time. He doesn’t do more than usual.  
But she offers, sitting up: “Should I take him?”  
Now, he seems to be even irritated at her. Without looking at her, he says: “I got it. Keep sleeping.”  
Which is stupid, because he must know: “I can’t sleep when he’s crying.”  
He snaps: “I’m trying everything, okay?”  
Whatever it is with him. But he definitely won’t be able to calm Benji down right now. “Beck,” she says as she gets up and he rocks the little baby, while he says: “I’m trying. Sh, Benji. Come on. Sh.”  
“Leave,” she demands, now standing right next to him.  
He looks at her helplessly, but... she has to make sure first that their child is okay. She will check on Beck after. And she definitely thinks this is better for both of them right now: “Leave this room, Beck.”  
He presses his lips together as he pushes the crying baby in her arms, then leaves. She looks after him for a while.

 

Beck doesn’t know what’s going on. He just feels so exhausted. They don’t have to do any school work, they just have hours and hours for themselves and Benji, and still, he feels exhausted. He gets angry at himself and... just now he has gotten angry at Benji for it. At Benji because he still isn’t even close to sleeping through any night, because he’s sometimes so difficult to calm down, because he still needs them so much.  
Which is cruel. Benji is a baby, will be four months old soon, will still need them for such a long time. What kind of person is he to get angry at his own son?  
He sits down on the couch in the living room of Jade’s home, shaking. Maybe, he should leave altogether. Maybe, he should get out right now and leave Jade with their son. Jade who always manages to handle their son so lovingly, who never gets angry at him, who is gentle and caring and just the perfect mother.  
But instead, he’s sitting there, at first still hearing Benji’s cry, which is soon dying down though. And not too long after, Jade comes down the stairs, finding him in the dark living room.  
God, is he scared. He knows she will call him out for it. Rightfully so. She will call him out for being almost rough right now with their son. He can’t hear that he isn’t capable of taking care of his own son, that he is a bad father, though he apparently is.  
But instead of calling him out, Jade walks up to him, all the way, comes to a halt between his legs and then wraps her arms around him. He lies his head against her belly, closes his eyes, feels one of her hands stroking through his hair.  
He takes a deep breath and only after a while, also wraps his arms around her waist, enjoying the warm and comforting embrace.  
Jade lets him enjoy it in silence for even longer, and only then gently asks: “What’s suddenly with you?”  
They don’t even break apart, as Beck answers: “I just... I thought it would get easier. I thought, as soon as break starts and I wouldn’t be occupied with school, I wouldn’t be...” He doesn’t know what to say. But yeah. He has always taken his breaks, but taking care of Benji... it still has taken a toll on him sometimes. He thought that was because of school and the fighting with Jade and everything. But everything is great now and he still...  
Desperately, he confesses: “I think of my own son as annoying. I’m such a bad father. I’m sorry, Jade.”  
He’s afraid she will break away from him. She doesn’t. She keeps stroking through his hair, as she easily answers: “You aren’t a bad father. You love him and are here for him. You hold him when he cries and do everything you can to comfort him. Our son is annoying at the moment, with crying more than usual.” (He is more difficult lately; they’ll find out that’s because he’s getting a cold.) “Thinking that doesn’t make you a bad father; if anything, the fact that he is annoying at the moment makes him a bad son.”  
Of course, he has to snort. God, how can Jade always say all the right things? How can she even accept this side of him?  
Now, she does break apart from him, but only slightly and just so she can take his face into both her hands, making him look up into her eyes. She even smiles at him, as she says: “Come on. It’s fine to feel down. You do love him, right?”  
“I do,” he earnestly answers.  
Jade nods slightly. “Just remember that, even when he cries. Just remember to always protect him. And to tell me if it’s too much for you sometimes. I can handle it.”  
Yeah, he is supposed to tell her. They did promise each other honesty. And he probably should tell her about things like these.  
“I know you can,” he says. “You can handle everything.” Because she can. She’s amazing.  
Even though, she can’t see it, as she proves again: “I can’t and you know that.” She runs her hand through his hair. “But it’s fine letting the other one do their job from time to time.”  
He guesses it is. So, whenever he gets even slightly angry at Benji, as soon as there is the risk of handling him a little rough, he should tell Jade, so she can take over. He knows he also would take over from her.  
“I love you, Jade,” he earnestly says. And sometimes, he can’t believe how much.  
She leans down and kisses him. “I love you, too.” Then, she breaks fully apart from him, but only to take his hand in hers, to pull him up and with her. “Now come back to bed. I bet he will be awake again in no time and we should try getting some sleep.”

o  
O  
o

Benji truly is kind of more difficult during those days, which is because of the cold, Beck and Jade make an extremely big fuzz about. He’s sick for the first time and they are all over the place in trying to make Benji feel as comfortable as possible and to make sure he gets better quickly.  
Benji is already much better though when Beck has to go back to the set two weeks, after he first filmed, to reshoot some scene, because there apparently was something wrong with it the first time around.  
As Benji still sleeps especially bad, Jade suggests for Beck to sleep in the RV, while she stays at her own home with Benji. After considering, he agrees that that would be the smartest, especially as he also has to get up really early.  
When she decides that morning that she probably can stay awake for now, should get breakfast herself soon, she still cuddles for a while with Benji in her bed. When he has woken her up again, she has gotten him and has nursed him in bed. Now, she’s lying on her back in her bed, Benji lying on top of her, turned to her, calm and sleepy again.  
Jade checks her phone and sees that Beck has texted her when he got up, before he drove to work, to wish her and Benji a good morning. Probably, he will be in hair and make-up right now.  
“Your daddy wants us to have a good morning,” she tells Benji and then gets an idea, she promptly checks back with her son: “You think his morning would be even better than it probably already is if he would see us? We should send him a photo, huh?”  
She does know how much you miss Benji after a night without him. Beck is only supposed to have a short day on set, so it’s not like he won’t see Benji for too long. Also, he will be busy on set, so he won’t have too much time to miss Benji. Still...  
Jade promptly takes a selfie, holding the phone next to herself and Benji, both with their head turned into the direction of the phone, Benji with closed eyes, settled with his head almost in the crook of her neck, his hands propped between his shoulders and her chest.  
She smiles as she sees the picture. Her hair may not be the best in it and obviously she hasn’t put any make-up on, but she does look quite good. And Benji looks just as adorable as he always does.  
She sends it with the caption: “Miss us?”  
Beck answers five minutes later: “Like crazy. Thanks for that beautiful picture.”

They do that from then on. The rare times, they sleep apart and then also don’t see each other right after waking up, they send each other photos. Of Benji mostly. But also with themselves often enough. It’s mainly because of filming for both, the rare times they get roles. But Jade for example also gets sick during break and they decide that she should get full nights of sleep while she’s sick. And there is that one time, where she visits her doctor in the morning, to have herself checked on, so she doesn’t get to see Benji even after a few hours of being awake. (She also has to wait for far too long in the waiting room, though she has an appointment.) Beck also sends her a few very beautiful pictures, while she’s waiting and it means the world to her.  
It’s a small thing, which they never even really talk about. A small thing, with which they show each other once more how much they care. About each other and their son.

o  
O  
o

They do totally adore their son, and don’t just love photos of him.  
It also happens during break that Beck and Jade just look at their son. That they cuddle up and instead of watching TV, they watch Benji sleeping, or grabbing different things, grabbing the toy Robbie gave him for birth.  
Right now, the little boy lies on the small bed in the RV, right at the wall, on his back. Jade lies next to him, turned to him, running her hand over the boy's belly, making him look extremely satisfied but also laughing in between and beaming at his mother.  
His arm around her, spooning her, lies Beck, his head on top of hers, also looking down to the young boy while holding her close.  
And he just loves these moments. He loves when it's only him, Jade and their son, when they are just together and everything is calm and beautiful.  
He loves holding his girlfriend and looking at his son, whom he could look at forever.  
As he just now laughs in the most adorable way, Beck has to say: "I think Cat is right: He's the absolute cutest." Cat seems to say that every time she actually gets a good look at him.  
Jade answers: "He will probably look exactly like you when he's older."  
She has never said that before. And he has never thought about it. Their parents have mentioned all the time how the child looks like them in certain ways, they never really have. Beck of course has always loved everyone mentioning how Benji looks so much like them. He even has enjoyed her father, whom he doesn’t like, saying that Benji looks like Jade in certain ways.  
"Think so?" he now asks, tilting his head.  
“Look at his hair,” Jade says and... well... Yes, Benji’s hair is obviously the same as Beck’s, already. He has had dark brown hair from birth and it’s quickly growing thicker, looking more like Beck’s every day.  
But Benji is not just his hair. “Well, but he gets your eyes.”  
“The color at best,” Jade is quick to answer. “But almost every baby has blue eyes. It will change to brown.”  
Jade’s eyes aren’t just blue though. There’s a lot more to them and Beck is sure Benji’s eye color is already changing into exactly that. And even if they are still your normal baby blue... that also doesn’t say that it will change to brown.  
“You don’t know that,” Beck therefore gently says.  
“It’s dominant,” Jade says. “How likely is it that you’ll have another gene in you that allows my eye color to come through?”  
And that’s probably true. It’s not very likely (though Benji will indeed end up with her eye color). Which may be true for other features of Beck’s as well. Like his skin tone and his hair. And he kind of feels bad about it. Because everyone wants their child to look like themselves at least a little, right?  
“I’m sorry,” he therefore says, can’t do anything about it after all.  
Jade shortly glances back to him, before she looks to their son again, whose belly she’s still rubbing slowly. “I never said I don’t like it. He will be very handsome. Though hopefully for his girlfriend, not such a flirt.”  
And for a moment, the words hang in the air and Beck can barely comprehend them. Then, a wide smile spreads over his face. Wow. Jade actually wants their son to look like him. She would love her very own son, her blood, to look like him.  
She even teases again at the end there and he loves it. He loves her so incredibly much. Just like she obviously loves him, does she want her son to look like him.  
“I love you,” he whispers as he lies his face into the crook of Jade’s neck, kissing her softly with her leaning back against him.  
Even with the stress at times, they still have beautiful moments like these in between, now during break more than with school happening. And both get all their strength out of these moments.

o  
O  
o

Jade is generally the source of Beck’s strength. There is another moment during break, which is especially memorable for him later on.  
They are sorting through Benji’s clothes at his place, to already sort out those he has outgrown while putting those he has grown into by now, on the top of the pile.  
They are sitting on the couch, sorting the clothes on the coffee table. Benji lies mere feet away on the floor on a blanket. He’s able to turn around on his own by now and somehow appears to be more mobile because of it, though he still can’t move around by himself all that much yet. He’s also way more fixated on Beck and Jade, actually seems to recognize them by now and to trust them more than anyone else.  
At the moment, he’s asleep on his blanket, surrounded by three different toys, because he never likes a toy for too long at a time, which is why they changed between them earlier when he was awake and in the mood for playing.  
As soon as he has fallen asleep again (he still sleeps quite a lot, always with just short interruptions, but he stays awake longer every day), they got back to work on the clothes.  
They wanted to sort through them and get some order back into both their rooms before the new school year starts and they have too much else going on again, especially the SATs.  
They haven’t talked yet about what to do with the clothes they will sort out right now because Benji has outgrown them. Beck guesses he would like to keep at least some of them like their parents did with his own – some of them are even his old clothes. And he bets his parents wouldn’t mind the extra box in the basement.  
Jade also seems to think about what to do with the clothes. At least, she says as she looks at a onesie, Beck knows she especially likes, which Beck wore back in time as well: “You know, these are all still in good condition, even those that were yours once, because we had so many clothes that we used each one so rarely. We could sell or keep all of them, though if we keep all of them, we then should also use them for our second child, which means we won’t be able to buy new ones, which would suck as we already didn’t get around to buy many this time.”  
She seems seriously annoyed at that thought, though Beck is sure she definitely wants to keep a lot of those clothes, because she totally is sentimental as well.  
But right now, something else sticks with him. He has come to a halt sorting through the clothes, looks at her, blinking.  
She doesn’t seem to notice, and finally he asks: “Our next child?”  
Jade’s eyes widen as she looks back to him. She obviously didn’t realize what she said. “I...” she starts. “I meant... I just thought if we would stay together, maybe we’ll have another child some day.”  
Wow. She did think about this some time. And she is so sure of it that she just randomly talked about it as if it was natural for them to have another child one day.  
He can’t help but grin.  
Jade promptly scolds him, is obviously embarrassed because she didn’t want Beck to know about this. “Don’t be so smug. Piss off.”  
“No. I love the idea of a second child. One day. With you.” Not now, clearly. They have their hands full and are still both only sixteen. But he does want to stay together with her forever, he wants to love her forever. And he might not have thought about it yet, but... yes, he does want to have more children with her.  
He has soothed Jade with his words. She now carefully asks: “You think we will stay together?”  
“I really hope so,” he earnestly says. “I love you.”  
She smiles and draws him into a slow kiss, before she says: “I love you, too. And you would want to go through the stress of another child?”  
Well, that’s a good question. But she wants to and yes, he does too. Honestly, he says: “We’re not doing perfect with Benji, but I think we’re decent parents, don’t you?”  
They both look over to Benji, sound asleep on his blanket.  
Then, she pulls him into another kiss, obviously agreeing.  
Yes, they are doing fine. Not perfect, but fine. They are dealing better and better with the stress, they are handling raising a child, they learn each day how to do better.


	21. Teething, Jealousy, Playground and First friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to put a small warning in front of this chapter: The first small paragraph is about breastfeeding again. Just saying.  
> Now enjoy the chapter!

In the middle of August, Beck and Jade’s Junior year starts and of course, Benji comes right back to school with them.  
Jade gives up on breastfeeding before going back to school. She has enjoyed the time, but her nipples feel sort of sore all the time by now though Benji doesn’t even have teeth yet, and she just... isn’t all that into it anymore. She talks to Beck about it, concerned that maybe he thinks she should breastfeed longer as it’s probably also the most healthy diet for a baby, but he says that she should watch being happy, content and comfortable herself, because otherwise, Benji will suffer too. She’s glad, he’s such a kind and wonderful guy.

Benji does start teething when they are back in school, at the end of August.  
He starts to get fuzzy. Beck and Jade are worried that he’s getting sick or that school is too much for him now, even though it was fine for those two months before summer break.  
“He has been weird the last two days,” Jade just now explains to her mother. They are eating lunch together, this Saturday, her mother, her brother, Beck and her. And Benji in her lap, supported by her arm, while she eats.  
He has a hand in his mouth and just now, there are almost fountains of spit running out of his mouth. Jade quickly runs his spit rag over his mouth and chin, before it can somehow run down into his lap and then into hers, while she adds: “And he’s drooling like crazy.”  
“It’s yucky,” Jasper says, pulling a somewhat disgusted face.  
Well, they are eating at the moment and even with a baby it’s not all that great to see someone drooling while you try to eat, so Jade answers: “I know, right?”  
“Oh,” her mother suddenly makes. “Maybe, he’s finally teething.”  
Jade furrows her brows. “And then he’s drooling?” Yeah, okay, the fuzziness could be explained by teething. Jasper also was quite fuzzy back then, Jade remembers.  
“Well, you did,” her mother easily answers. Jade immediately glares at her, feeling Beck promptly looking at her in a gleeful way, because he found out even more about her as a young child. Giving out that information certainly was unnessecary.  
Her mother calmly continues: “Jasper not so much, otherwise you would probably know that it can be a sign.”  
Jasper also looks at Jade amused and as if he has just won over her. Smartass.  
Meanwhile, Beck seems almost excited, as he realizes something else: “Benji is also sucking on everything even more than before. Could that be a sign for teething?”  
“Absolutely,” Jade’s mother confirms. “You should be on the look-out for his first little tooth.”

 

After lunch, they soon leave for Beck’s home, where they want to spend the rest of the weekend, because the RV is just so much better than Jade’s room.  
They spend a nice afternoon there, then they go into the Beck’s parents’ home a while before dinner, to help out with it.  
Beck’s parents are of course always happy to see their grandson, even though they also see him all the time.  
Since the beginning of the school year, Beck and Jade sleep apart during the week, when they have to go to school the next day, so at least one of them can sleep the night through (as they noticed during their seperation before summer break that that can help a lot with the stress for school). They have started out having Benji stay with each of them one night, before changing. Slowly, they expand the times though, as they also imagine it as nice to have a few nights to sleep through. They also do see Benji the rest of the day, so it’s not like the one of them, who doesn’t stay with him for those nights, has to miss him too much.  
Either way: While neither of their families may see Benji all that much during the week over the day as Beck and Jade take him to school and then out with their friends or just with them, or they stay in Jade’s room or Beck’s RV alone afterwards, they of course see him in the morning for breakfast if Benji stayed the night. Which means, everyone sees him quite often.  
As Benji has stayed at Jade’s the last three nights though (just with Jade the first two, during the week; with both Jade and Beck the last night) and they haven’t seen him in between, Beck’s parents now haven’t seen their grandson for half a week and are even more happy to see him again.  
Beck, who has Benji in his arms as they walk into the house, hands the little boy to his mother, who greets all three of them with a bright smile.  
She takes the boy and kisses him on his cheek. “Hello, Benji. How are you, hon?”  
Beck answers for him: “He’s okay, though a little off. Caitlyn is actually thinking he’s teething.”  
Beck has eaten breakfast with his parents during those nights where Benji has been with Jade, but it’s not like they then only talk about the baby. His parents always check in, but when Benji isn’t there, they also use the time to ask about Beck himself and tell him about their own lives. So, Beck hasn’t really mentioned yet that Benji has been slightly different lately.  
“Aw, he is?” his mother makes happily and kisses Benji another time, then she turns to Beck and Jade again: “That’s a hurtful process. Has she told you about massaging his gums?”  
Beck’s father now takes Benji out of his wife’s hands to greet him as well, while Beck shares a glance with Jade, who also raises her eyebrows, apparently also hasn’t heard about something like that, also not in regards of her younger brother, then he asks: “Massaging his gums?”  
His mother nods: “Yeah, that can soothe a baby. Just make sure your fingers are clean and then... you know...” Yeah, they do get the picture. Well, if it will help Benji and if it will otherwise hurt... Changing his diapers is probably a much worse thing they have to do regularly.  
His father now also gives a piece of advise: “And otherwise, give him lots to chew on. He’s taking it on his own, obviously, but maybe try something cold. You did buy that teething ring already, right? Maybe put that in the fridge just for a few minutes so it’s colder, and then let him chew on it.”  
Beck’s mother turns to Benji in her husband’s arms and says in a babyish voice that sometimes annoys Jade a little (though she may also use it – it only annoys her when other people do it): “Yeah, you like to chew on cold stuff, don’t you?”  
Beck smiles as he says: “We’ll see about that. Thanks for the advise.”

 

Benji has had trouble falling back asleep during the last few nights as well, whenever he woke up. More than usual. He’s still a baby, still so young. Naturally, he still wakes up sometimes over night. Before, it has been easy to get him back to sleep. Every other time, he is hungry and they need to give him the bottle, which naturally takes some time. Otherwise, he usually is back to sleep within minutes, with a little soothing by one of them. That has been more difficult the last few nights. Jade has told Beck about those nights with Benji alone, and Beck himself was also able to see the last night. Benji just needs them a little bit more at the moment.  
They themselves have barely fallen asleep when Benji wakes them with some whining. He isn’t hungry, but he does need one of them. Jade gets up, before Beck can say anything. Well, that means that he will have the next one most likely – which probably will require making Benji a bottle. Of course, Jade takes Benji now.  
Beck smiles as he turns around and snuggles further down into the pillow. He hears Jade making hushing noises that almost soothe him back to sleep.  
But then, Jade whispers: “Everything’s okay, baby. It’s fine. I hope you’re not hurting. But if you are, I promise, it’ll be better soon. It’s just you getting your first tooth.”  
Beck smiles at the soft explanation that Benji won’t even understand yet, but Jade wants their son to know anyway. He opens his eyes and sees due to the little light that falls through the windows, how Jade cradles Benji. The little boy closes his eyes at that point and Jade pulls him up and kisses his forehead, before she rocks him to make him fall back asleep.  
Beck’s heart aches a little, watching his wonderful girlfriend with their son. Especially as she whispers, almost just a breath, but her voice full of love: “I love you so much, baby.” And she kisses him on his forehead again, before she carefully lies him back into his crib – quite successfully; Benji is back asleep and doesn’t wake again.  
Jade turns back around to the bed and must see Beck has his eyes open, but she doesn’t say anything. She just lies back down, but at least turned to him and when he pulls her into a kiss, she returns it.  
He presses himself closer to her, kissing her a few times, until she breaks away from him, only slightly pushing him away.  
“Go to sleep, Beck,” she says quietly. It’s nothing mean, but naturally they both should sleep and not put in a make out session right now. If they hadn’t had a child, it wouldn’t matter, but like this, they should use any chance of sleeping.  
But there is this slightly aching feeling inside of Beck and right now, he just wants her close, needs her close, needs her to kiss him and hold him and tell him she loves him.  
He just makes a “mhm” and kisses her cheek, then her neck.  
But Jade always knows and promptly pushes him away again, holding him by his shoulders: “What is it?”  
He shrugs. “I just want you close right now,” he says.  
Jade narrows her eyes at him and repeats more intently: “What is it?”  
He bites his inner cheek. He’s sure he can’t and shouldn’t say this. Jade will think he is the biggest idiot. Maybe she will deem him an asshole.  
But... He can tell her everything, can’t he?  
Carefully he starts: “Just seeing you with Benji...” But he can’t say it as he himself possibly doesn’t even have the words.  
But Jade once again knows and suddenly raises her eyebrows: “Are you jealous, Beck?”  
He feels mortified as he looks into Jade’s eyes that even seem bright in the darkness of the RV. She judges him, doesn’t she?  
Jade continues, when he doesn’t say anything: “Of your own son? Seriously?”  
Now, he tries to hastily answer: “Well, no. Maybe. Not per se.” Though... “Are you never jealous of him when you see me with him?”  
Because this isn’t an issue of their child’s sex or whatever. It’s just that Jade has such a deep bond with Benji. A bond that’s so much deeper than anything else. Just like Beck has such a deep bond with Benji. And Jade gets jealous of any girl that Beck smiles at. Why shouldn’t she be jealous of that untouchable love between father and son? Beck loves that Jade and Benji are that close. He loves to see them like that. But he also loves both of them so much and sometimes, yes, it aches a little when he thinks about the fact that there is someone else so close to Jade. Even though it is indeed his own son.  
When she tells the little boy she loves him, all her heart in her voice...  
Jade easily answers now: “In a totally other sense.” So she is jealous, but differently? How? Jade already explains: “I’m jealous that he has such a great father while I have such a crappy one. But he deserves it and I’m happy for him.”  
He feels a warm fuzzy feeling inside of him. Jade considering him a great father... he always loves to hear that.  
And of course, she might be jealous but thinks their son deserves better than her and is genuinely happy for him.  
“You are such a great mother. And our child deserves that. And he deserves all the love you give him. But sometimes, an irrational part inside of me tells me he’s taking your love away from me.” As if his son is stealing something that’s rightfully his.  
“You are an idiot,” Jade promptly responds, but not too harshly, actually more teasing. “I hope your rational side realizes that Benji is a part of you, so when I love him, I love you, too.”  
Wow, okay. He never has seen it that way, and sure enough it’s not really like that. She still would love Benji more than anything if they would some day have a big fall-out and she would truly hate him, Beck. But... In another way... Yes, Benji is a part of him. He is a part of Benji. And her loving Benji is also her loving a part of him and his part in their son.  
He can’t help but smile as he leans forward and kisses her. How can she be so wonderful and perfect all the time?  
And, now teasingly himself, he suggests: “Maybe, you can sometimes baby me a little, so I would feel better.”  
“Not happening, Beck,” she answers with a small grin. “You know, if I start treating you like Benji, I will feel about you like about a son. And there are things I would never do with someone that would feel like a son.”  
Okay. “That’s fair,” he says with a smile.   
She lets her hands wander from his shoulders, which she has still hold, to his cheeks, taking his face between her hands, looking him directly into his eyes, as she suddenly whispers: “I love you, Beck.” And her voice is full of love.  
He can’t help but kiss her again.  
He gets this kind of jealous feeling every now and then in the future too, but he can handle it and laugh about it himself, especially as Jade always seems to notice and teases him about it, not just accepting but even loving that feeling of his.

 

They have a relatively calm night and the next morning, Beck doesn’t get woken up by another cry by Benji, but instead by Jade’s voice: “Beck.”  
“Mhm,” he makes as he turns and feels that Jade isn’t in bed anymore.  
He opens his eyes sleepily and sees her with Benji in her arms and just now quickly going from the crib to their shared bed.  
“Look,” she says. “I think I’m really seeing his first tooth.”  
Beck immediately sits up and Jade turns Benji in his direction. She has a finger inside his mouth, at the side, so Beck can see the front of the mouth, where the front teeth will be one day. And on top of the lower jaw, there seems to be a little white dot in the middle.  
Beck takes Benji into his own arms, lies him down onto his lap and inspects that some more, as he says: “Oh, my god. There it is. Baby! You have a tooth now. I’m so proud of you!”  
Because it indeed is his first tooth. It’s incredible to see somehow.  
He drops a kiss onto his cheek, happily.

Right after the first tooth, the second comes. Both are the lower front teeth. They brush them from the very beginning on of course. It takes a long time for Benji to have a full mouth of teeth, he’s more than a year old when at least most of his baby teeth have finally emerged.

 

Beck and Jade take Benji to the playground at the beginning of October for the very first time. They are not just passing on a walk this time, but actually stopping to play there. Benji is almost seven months old at that point. He can shortly sit on his own by now, but Jade and Beck still support him a lot. They also do on the playground.  
Beck says they should totally go into the sandbox with him, so he can finally feel the sand.  
“He will eat it,” Jade predicts sceptically as they approach the sandbox, where a few older kids are playing as well.  
Beck smiles. “Well, dirt cleans the stomach.”  
“Especially when other children, some animals and maybe drunk people have peed in it,” Jade comments dryly.  
Of course, she still allows Beck to sit Benji down in the sand. He sits down behind him, while Jade squats down in front of him (she’s sure there will be a time where she will sit down into the sand as well to truly play with Benji there, but he won’t be interested for too long at this age and Jade doesn’t feel much like getting dirty for that).  
Benji is in absolute delight, as soon as his hands gets to touch the sand for the first time.  
He makes some small noises as he grabs it and notices most of it falling out of his closed hands. With bright eyes, he looks up to Jade in front of him and shakes his fist in her direction, as if to show her the sand he looses.  
“That’s sand, baby. You like it?” she asks and his smile is definitely answer enough.  
Beck rubs his belly. “It’s awesome, isn’t is? And look: You can build stuff with it.” He pushes some sand together in front of Benji into a mound. He does that a few times until it has a decent height. Benji watches him with glee, until he suddenly hits with both hands upon the mound.  
Jade smirks: “Yeah, you can also always let your daddy build something and then just destroy it.” Though the mound isn’t really destroyed and Benji also hasn’t hit that strongly.  
Beck chuckles.

They go on the slide next. Or rather: Beck and Benji do. The slide is connected to a bigger jungle gym and Jade doesn’t feel at all like getting up there and getting to the slide on it, when it’s designed for children to easily go through it and climb different parts. She won’t crawl through parts of it or something. But Beck does it and then slides with Benji on his lap, which Benji also seems to love.  
Beck suggests the seesaw next, but there are children on it at the moment. Jade lets her gaze wander further to the swing set and sees that three of the four swings are free, as a family has just left.  
She promptly takes Benji out of Beck’s arms and walks over to sit down on one of the swings that actually hangs high enough to also use it comfortably as a grown-up. Holding herself with one hand on the swing and using her other hand to hold Benji on her lap, she starts swinging slightly.  
“Let me push you,” Beck says, who has of course followed her to the swings.  
“But not too hard,” Jade warns. “I do have to keep Benji and myself up here.” So she can’t hold herself with both her hands. Though she usually loves swinging really high. She always had the fantasy as a child to go all the way around. She tried so hard. That was her only joy on the playground – the swingset.  
“Of course,” Beck answers and does only swing her slightly, so she doesn’t have to do anything anymore.  
Jade starts talking to Benji, who also seems to love this: “This is fun, huh? I’m already excited for you to be old enough to hold yourself. Your uncle Jasper and I always sat on the swing together.”  
“Oh, him turned to you?” Beck asks.  
“Yeah,” Jade confirms. That also was ever the only way she entertained Jasper on the playground. If he pouted too much, she also went on the seesaw with him and kept him up on his side until he was whining so much that he wanted to go home. But if he only pouted a little when she told him she wouldn’t play with him, she went on a swing with him. Her sitting down first and him then sitting down on top of her, turned to her, his legs dangling on the other side, so both of them being able to build up momentum swinging.  
“Let’s do that,” Beck promptly decides.  
Jade stops the swing and turns around to him, cocking an eyebrow: “Benji can’t yet, so I’m assuming you mean the both of us. But firstable: We can’t just lie Benji next to us while we are on the swing. And second of all: The swingset might not even hold us together.” They are both quite heavy by now, unlike two children for example.  
Beck disregards that: “Of course it will hold us. And we’ll keep Benji between us. Come on. Let me sit on the swing.”  
Well, Jade guesses that it doesn’t hurt to try.  
She gets up with Benji and lets Beck sit down instead. He slides to the back, so there is room between the chains holding the swing up and his upper body. Enough room for her legs.  
She sits Benji on his lap, whom Beck of course has to hold with one arm. Which somehow makes it harder for her to get her legs through. But she’ll try anyway.  
She grabs the chains and pulls herself high up and very carefully pushes her legs into the space, left to her by Beck. And finally, she sits down, Beck quickly lifting Benji further up and then sitting him down on Jade’s lap. It’s a narrow fit, but it actually works.  
“Then let’s hope this thing doesn’t break down as soon as you start swinging,” Jade says with a smirk. Obviously, it’s Beck who has to do the main work to get the swing moving.  
Jade turns Benji slightly and then holds onto Beck with one hand in a way that allows Benji to lean against her arm and be safe while also being able to look out to the playground on the other side, between Beck and Jade. She holds the chain herself on that side, while Beck grabs it to both his sides now and actually starts swinging. Carefully first, but when they both realize it’s safe and Benji loves it, he pushes harder with Jade supporting as much as she can.  
All three enjoy it immensely, though Beck and Jade soon have to stop swinging as it actually starts hurting to hold on so tightly to the chains, to keep all three of them up the swing. They only slightly move then with Jade having wrapped both her arms around Beck, Benji between them, almost asleep due to the gentle movement and the warmth of his parents, and Beck also holding Jade with one arm while only having the other hand on the chain of the swing.  
They start kissing, just enjoying the quiet family moment, when there suddenly is a rather sharp woman’s voice: “Would you leave this playground?”  
It doesn’t sound like a question at all.  
Beck and Jade break apart and Jade has to turn around slightly to see the older woman standing there, not at the swing next to them, but between that and the next, where a young girl is sitting and watching them. That girl is probably the woman’s daughter.  
“What?” Jade makes. Without a doubt, the woman talks to them.  
“These swings are for children, not for you to make out on,” she woman harshly says.  
Seriously? Jade points to Benji, who gets a little alert now: “And here is a child who is on the swing set for the very first time.” Yes, they might not truly use the swing anymore, but the playground also isn’t too full. The only other swing that’s used as of now is the one by the woman’s daughter, which means that two swings are still free for other children to use.  
The woman obviously just now notices the small boy between them. She narrows her eyes at Jade and Beck: “Where are his parents?”  
Jade feels Beck’s grip around her tighten. And she hears Benji make a small dissatisfied sound. She takes a deep breath. She doesn’t need Benji to break out crying right now, so she can’t get too... tense. That always makes Benji cry after all. She still pointedly answers: “We are his parents.”  
The woman huffs. “Oh, figures. So you finally have visitation with your child and you focus on each other instead of on your child?”  
Visitation? As if: Naturally, they don’t raise Benji themselves but gave him into foster care or alike? Not that that’s bad. It isn’t even this woman’s business either way. But... What the heck?  
But before Jade gets to spit something back at the woman, Beck finally raises his voice, coldly: “Are you serious? You are incredibly impolite, you realize that?”  
Jade turns to Beck with mild interest. Okay, he is pissed off now. Really, really pissed off. It’s probably a good thing that Jade and Benji sit on his lap, so he can’t get up and plant himself in front of this woman in any threatening manner. Beck can appear a little scary when he is angry – it’s nothing Jade can’t handle or she’s scared off but they are at the playground and the woman’s child is looking at them with big eyes as it is.  
The woman huffs again. “I don’t think I have to be tought a lesson about politeness by some teenage screw-ups, who make out...”  
She doesn’t get any further. Jade knows Beck at least would rise from the swing now if Jade wasn’t sitting in his lap.  
Instead, he harshly interrupts: “You better stop talking now! I don’t know why you are this frustrated and bitter, but, like, maybe, you didn’t get enough sleep, or you’ve gotten jealous when you saw us because the father of your child left you or something, but the three of us actually live together and we love each other. We might have screwed up once, but we do know how to behave in front of our child.” He looks into the little girl’s direction. The woman quickly turns around in surprise, as if she has forgotten about her daughter. “Our child will learn to not just walk up to strangers, tell them to go away and then insult them after they show they have a very valid reason to be where they are. Now, very kindly: Piss off.”  
Jade surpresses a smirk. Oh, she would’ve told this woman much worse words. She knows Beck is able to do that as well. But the tone of his voice... And the choice of his words was actually great as well, especially hinting to the woman’s daughter, implying how much better they are for their child than she is for hers.  
The woman presses her lips together, looks at them for another moment, then crosses her arms in front of her chest and threatens: “I’ll call the cops on you.”  
Beck promptly realitates: “Awesome. I bet they also need a good laugh.” And he starts imitating the woman’s voice, which he isn’t really good at but Jade still loves every second of this: “Hello. I am at the playground and there is a family with a baby on one of the swings, enjoying their afternoon. Could you please arrest them?”  
The woman purses her lips, then huffs again, before she suddenly grabs her daughter’s arm and drags her away with her with her daughter crying at the hard grip and being dragged away all of the sudden.  
Jade looks to Beck, who returns the look, and before Jade knows it, she lets her own lips crash violently onto Beck’s.  
He returns the kiss, like he always does, and when they break apart from each other, she breathes: “That was very hot.”  
Because yes, she may have a thing for Beck getting a little angry. Even when they fight sometimes. And him getting angry at someone else because they attacked their son?  
Of course, she now also has to look down to their son, who hasn’t started crying apparently, because Jade quickly hasn’t been angry anymore. Instead, he looks up to them curiously.  
“Did you witness that, baby?” she asks him, running on of her hands through the boys hair. “How your daddy reacted after someone attacked you? How he protected you?”  
“Both of you,” Beck quietly puts in.  
And well, Jade doesn’t need protection. She can protect herself. But still. Yes, him protecting her and their son... their whole family...  
She kisses him again and then rests her forehead against Beck’s, while she says: “My legs are getting tired but I guess, now we gave to stay at least ten more minutes, right on this swing, out of principle.”  
Beck has to laugh.

 

They usually don’t get too many bad reactions from other parents or nannies or whoever comes here with children. Well, they get stupid and judging looks, but barely anyone else talks to them like that. There are also mostly the same people coming regularly and they get used to them around.  
It’s early January, Benji is ten months old when Jade lets Beck and him play alone in the sand box (Beck actually building and Benji destroying – and Beck keeping him from destroying the other children’s sand buildings). Jade first played with them, too, but she has enough of the sand. She actually thought about going home, but it’s relatively warm today (you need a jacket but it’s fine) and she hasn’t got any homework and... why not sit on the bench and watch boyfriend and son play, nothing else, just watching? Especially, as school has already begun for the year and they don’t take Benji with them since this year anymore, which means they see a whole lot less of him as it is. She should use her time now. Even if she doesn’t want to play in the sand with him even more, she should at least take his sight in as much as she can.  
She is not sitting there for too long though, when she gets distracted. There is a small boy running by, into the direction of the street. Right in between, he falls down and keeps on crawling instead, but that doesn’t slow him down much.  
Jade has gotten surprinsingly good at estimating children’s age since she has a child herself. This boy must barely be a year old.  
Jade looks around. The playground is quite full of people, also grown-ups sitting and standing around, watching their children. But nobody seems to watch this little boy right now. Nobody is running behind him.  
Jade quickly gets up and catches up to him. “Hey, you,” she says, which makes him stop and turn around, sitting down, looking at her. She squats down as she asks him: “Where are your parents?”  
The boy just looks at her and she tries to aks in a different way: “Where is your mommy?”  
That makes the boy shrug and she just starts the question for his father, when suddenly, a woman passes her in a rush, pulling the little boy directly up in her arms. “Oh, god! Here you are, Ricky.”  
“Mama,” the boy says with a bright look in his face, patting her with his hand but looking to Jade, who gets up at the same moment. As if to tell her that he has found his mommy.  
The woman, who also only can be in her early twenties, turns to Jade as well: “Thank you so much for stopping him. I just had to take a call, turned around for a minute and... gone. Sometimes, they can be so quick.”  
She also still has her phone in her hand and seems out of breath. And Jade gets it. Benji also has gotten much more mobile and it’s crazy how fast such a small kid can crawl when they want to. And they seem to know exactly when you are not looking. Jade is glad that Beck and she are mostly together when they let him crawl free outside somewhere, so the probability of one of them to see and catch him in time is much higher – and that the RV and their parents’ houses are all safe for him to crawl around in freely.  
“They can be,” Jade therefore confirms, glancing to Beck and Benji, who are still playing in the sandbox.  
Then, she already walks back to the bench and sits back down. The woman follows her and also sits down with her son, while she talks to him sweetly: “Ricky, you can’t just leave. You have to be careful and always stay in my sight, okay?”  
She talks more to him, but Jade doesn’t listen, but gets back to watching her own child. She doesn’t even know why this woman, who, as she will later find out, is named Juliett, even has sat down next to her on the bench.  
She only gets pulled out of her thoughts again, when Juliett asks: “Is that yours?”  
Jade looks to her again, her son Ricky now sitting happily in her lap, and glances to where Juliett nods. To the nearby sandbox, where Beck and Benji are.  
Jade simply answers: “It is.”  
Though Juliett also could mean the other two children playing there with some older woman. She doesn’t though. At least, she now asks: “Is that the father of the child?”  
Jade nods.  
“He seems to be good with your son. Are you still together?”  
Jade nods again. How much she hates this pointless smalltalk.  
“You chose a good one then,” Juliett says, rubbing her son’s belly. “I don’t know if you planned it but... My boyfriend and I certainly did. My ex-boyfriend. He suddenly deicded that it’s too much responsibility after all, when I was seven months pregnant.”  
So, her ex wanted a child with her and then decided it was too much responsibility when the child wasn’t even born yet? Seriously?  
“Asshole,” Jade comments, because that’s truly terrible. Of course, it could be worse, and the guy could’ve cheated on her, but... this is already really low.  
“I know,” Juliett dryly answers. “And I loved him so much.”  
Jade can imagine. She has seen it time and time again with her mother and the men she loved and who disappointed her. But at least, Jade’s and Jasper’s father do take care somewhat of their children. If Juliett’s boyfriend left her because he didn’t want to carry the responsibility...  
Jade looks at Ricky, who is not nearly as cute as Benji, but who seems somehow lovely nonetheless – though Jade usually doesn’t feel like that regarding other people’s children at all. “Doesn’t he take care of him at all?” The way Juliett mentioned him...  
“Only saw him twice. Because I forced him to.”  
“Men are idiots,” Jade promptly says because women barely do this kind of thing. And how can a person just abandon their own child like that? How can they just ignore it? Only seeing him twice though he must be about one year old?  
“But you got lucky,” Juliett dryly says, nodding to Beck and Jade shrugs: “I did.”  
And the thing is that they both know that that’s stupid to claim. Yes, sometimes Jade does feel like to have a loving father for her child, but it shouldn’t be like that. No matter if parents are a couple or not, both should be involved in their child’s life. You shouldn’t feel a need to praise a guy because he stayed with his child – or consider a mother lucky if her child’s father stayed.  
Jade notices Juliett also sees it that way, despite what she said.  
“How old are you?” Juliett now asks.  
“Seventeen,” Jade answers truthfully. Beck also will be turning that soon now, while she already is seventeen for one and a half months.  
“It must be hard,” Juliett answers. Not judging at all. “I mean... I’m 21 and feel overwhelmed at times.”  
And Jade doesn’t know why. She hates people. But... She doesn’t hate Juliett or her child. And somehow, she just admits to this also quite young mother: “Our families help out a lot.”  
“My sister does, too,” Juliett answers. “That’s why I moved here now. I lived in San Diego before and my sister drove down there almost every weekend to help me out. I just recently was able to let go of my fantasy of living happily with Ricky’s father and moved here over Christmas.”  
Which explains why Jade never ever has seen her here before. You really do recognize everyone quite quickly.  
“Do you come here often?”  
Jade shrugs. “Relatively.” When the weather is fine and they have enough time next to school. And when they aren’t too lazy.  
Juliett smiles: “Then maybe, our sons can play together some time. We only live a block from here now. And this is a really nice playground.”  
“The cleanest around,” Jade agrees. They never go to one close to Beck’s home, because they are all a mess. They only go to this, which is in a walking distance from Jade’s home.  
Juliett seems to remember something: “Oh, god. What I saw on the playground close to my apartment in San Diego...”  
She tells a story about some junkie, which makes Jade even laugh shortly in between, because it’s actually quite dark and a mess and Jade is so in for stuff like that. Juliett also seems amused in restrospect.  
She’s barely finished, when Beck walks up to the bench, Benji in his arms. He must have seen them talking and has also noticed Ricky who is still sitting on his mother’s lap, playing with the zipper of her jacket at the moment.  
“Look, Benji,” Jade can hear him say as he approaches. “Has your mommy found you a little friend?”  
Yeah, sure, because Jade is a person to search for friends for herself or anyone else. But... If Juliett will come to this playground regularly with Ricky from now on, it’s very likely that they will meet them again and that eventually, Benji and Ricky will possibly play with each other one day. Benji starts to be more and more interested in other children, though he isn’t able to really play with them as of now.  
Beck puts Benji down in front of Jade in a standing position. Benji can stand by now, though he promptly lies one of his hand on Jade’s knee to support himself. But he does look curiously at Ricky, who looks back just as curiously, after Juliett turned him slightly in his lap and pointed at Benji.  
Jade now also leans down, lies her arm around her son and also points the other boy out: “This is Ricky.”

Ricky does become the first child, Benji truly plays with. And he becomes his first actual friend. A friendship they keep for many years, all through elementary school, which they visit together, and beyond that. And there might come a day, where Jade would also call Juliett somewhat her friend.


	22. New plan and Christmas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!  
> Now, we will get to the end very quickly. I already finished up this chapter and there will be only one more, which will probably be quite short.  
> For this chapter, I want to remind you ("remind", because I think I mentioned it before in this fic) that the father of Jade's little brother cheated on her mother and that's why they broke up. If you want to know more about the story behind that, you are invited to read my latest one shot "Jasper's father". Yes, I totally timed that with this chapter. But I don't think it's absolutely necessary for you to read that. You should understand this chapter just as well without it.  
> Now, have fun with the second to last chapter of this fic. Gosh. Can't believe it will soon be over again.

It gets harder with Benji in school. He is such a good child but... It was juts so easy when he was a newborn, before the summer break. It gets tougher afterwards, almost by the week. He starts babbling at some point and it’s terrible to hush him when he should try out every sound in the world, totally should try to speak, get out syllable after syllable. But he can’t do that in the middle of class. It’s mostly fine in the artistic classes, but not so much in the others.  
The same goes for his mobility. He starts wanting to sit himself, then to turn around wildly and when he starts crawling, they know they should let him crawl around the whole world. But in class, he should stay close to them (also because he dislikes some (female) classmates and could potentially start screaming terribly when he looks up at some point and notices he is right with one of them).  
For the SATs, Beck’s father takes time off of work and stays close to school with the little boy, just like with the finals before summer break, so that Beck and Jade still have their son close but can write the important test in peace.  
In the beginning of November, Benji turning eight months soon, both of them still sixteen years old, the two of them finally have a long talk about the situation. Jade’s mother watches Benji, while they are out to eat, just the two of them. And finally, they do have space and time to talk about this, to think about what to do. The teachers react more annoyed over time, though Eikner hasn’t called them into his office yet. But they both think that that will come with time. Soon enough, he will want to talk to them and will tell them that they can’t bring Benji anymore and have to find another solution.  
“Your parents already said that they won’t accept a daycare at this point,” Jade just now says. That has been while she was pregnant, but she knows their standpoint hasn’t changed. And of course, it’s their own decision and if they want to send their child into daycare, they will, but... they should consider their parents’ views. And possibly, Jade also doesn’t like the thought of strangers watching her son while he’s still so young.  
Beck looks thoughtful. “One of them will want to give up their jobs if we sit them down to talk to them about this. I mean... They already hinted at that lately, if we just mentioned the troubles in passing. I don’t want them to do that.”  
“Me neither,” Jade says, picking at her food. Because his parents still love their jobs and all of them need that money out of both their jobs. Jade wants both Beck and her to go to college and they will never manage to go to college with working next to it and taking care of their son at the same time. Now having Benji for eight months, she definitely knows that. They can barely handle school and taking care of him.  
They both are lost in thoughts for a moment, then Beck says: “But I guess we do have to sit them down. Maybe, I can talk to my parents and you to your mother and then we all come together again to think of ideas?”  
“I guess,” Jade answers unenthusiatically, because what else should they do?  
Though... What will there parents suggest? If noone is supposed to give up on their jobs...  
Jade lies her fork down and takes a deep breath, before she whispers, directly sounding a little desperate: “I don’t want to stay home, Beck.”  
Beck promptly takes her hand on the table, squeezing it and saying intently: “I know. And you won’t have to.” A heartbeat, then: “Maybe, I’ll stay home.”  
“You also don’t want to,” Jade says because she knows he doesn’t. Neither of them wants to take a few months off to take care of Benji. Yes, they do want to take care of their son, but they also both want to graduate from high school in time.  
“But not like you,” Beck honestly says. He also doesn’t want to push back his graduation, but Jade is desperate about it. She would feel absolutely miserably if she would have to. She’s so driven and still feels like she needs to prove something.  
“It’s okay, Jade,” he says, pulling her hand to his lips, kissing it. “We’ll find a way. I’ll make sure that nobody expects you to slow down with school.”  
Jade closes her eyes for a second. She takes that as a promise and it soothes her a lot. She still loves Beck so much. And almost a bit more every day.

 

Their parents meet up with each other and them one and a half weeks later, on a Sunday, at Beck’s home again. Jasper is once again with a friend while Benji plays alone on the floor while the adults talk.  
“Here we are again,” Leah says and yeah, they all get reminded of all their previous talks, just like this. Though they had way more tension and they haven’t had another talk like this since Benji’s birth, haven’t really all come together since then.  
Jade nods. “Yeah, and Beck and I still have no idea what to do.” Jade talked to her mother and Beck to his parents, then they to each other again. Her mother has also told her she doesn’t want her to slow down with school which Jade was thankful for. Meanwhile, his parents, as predicted, both suggested to quit their jobs to take care of Benji.  
Leah does that once again: “I am willing to stop working at least for two years or something.”  
“Mom, we talked about this,” Beck directly says, with a slightly irritated voice. “We don’t want anyone to give up on their jobs.”  
Which probably means, either Beck or Jade do indeed have to stop going to school. What else can they do?  
It’s Jade’s mother that now says though: “I may have a different solution.” Jade looks at her in surprise. She hasn’t told her that. “I thought about this before because I have a collague who wants to work in the morning hours while his kids are in school. He works in the evening at the moment, dealing with clients in Asia. When Jade came to me to talk about this, I immediately thought of him. I talked to him and our boss over the last few days, and I indeed could change my clients with him.”  
Jade can’t believe that her mother hasn’t talked to her about this before. But she realizes that her mother still had to think this through, had to make sure herself she would be willing to do this for her daughter and her grandson. That she could manage this.  
She now also continues, while everyone listens attentively: “Until the new year, I would have to work longer hours, to meet the new clients and get everything in order, but if we would start now, coming January, I could change into that shift. I would still do the job I like very much, possibly earn even a little bit more money. I could start working each day flexibly in the late afternoon, so when at least one of you is back from school, and I would have less hours during the normal week.”  
Jade directly knows that that can’t be easy. For her mother. She would have to get up in the morning, to take Benji, and then go to work and to bed directly after that. Not many people are able to do that. Go out to work and then directly go to bed. And then, of course, not even having some time to relax during the week because she would have to watch Benji in the mornings. Which she had to do with Jade and Jasper as well, but Jasper is finally somewhat independent, somewhat able to stay alone or alike. Her mother is finally able to have time on her own. And now she will loose that again?  
Her mother isn’t done yet though: “The only thing is that I would have to travel to Asia, naturally, to meet my clients in person and that only makes sense if I will be there for... like... a week at a time, and not just two days like within the US. Which means that my business trips would expand. But maybe, you can take time off for those periods of time” – she means Beck’s parents with that, but then also addresses Beck and Jade – “or you know... you will have to take Benji to school with you for those days.”  
Well, that’s her mother. Always with some sort of solution.  
For a moment, everyone seems to ponder their thoughts, then Nathaniel checks: “That would be okay with you?”  
“Yes,” Jade’s mother answers and Jade knows it’s true. Otherwise, her mother never would have suggested it. “I will just have to see about Jasper. I don’t want him to just see a grown-up early in the morning before school and otherwise never having anyone around. He’s too young for that.”  
He definitely is. Jade notices that Beck is trying to catch her eye, to check with her if she likes this option. But she is distracted by his parents also sharing a glance and Leah then suggesting: “We can also take care of him then.”  
Okay, that would be really weird. Yes, their families are adjusting. Jade actually feels comfortable around Beck’s parents by now and Beck loves her mother and Jasper to no end. But now having Beck’s parents involved with Jasper too?  
She is almost glad, when her mother gently shakes her head: “That’s really kind, but I think I will talk to his father. He also has very flexible hours at his job at the moment, and should be able to watch him.” Jasper’s father Thomas has indeed pretty flexible hours – and doesn’t have too many hours at all. He doesn’t work as much as Jade’s mother. But anyway...  
“I can also really give up my job,” Leah says.  
But Jade is sure, Leah doesn’t want to. She isn’t searching for a reason to quit her job and wants to use Benji. She just also realizes that this will be hard for Jade’s mother, that this will be a difficult situation. And Beck’s parents could afford to live on one salary for now, as they both earn well enough.  
“Maybe, you’ll have to eventually,” Jade’s mother answers though. “I’m not sure how well it will work yet, how well I will do working in the evenings. But I would like for both of you to keep your jobs as long as possible to... you know... Jade and Beck both should go to college and if you ask me, they should be able to do that without having to earn money next to it – especially as they have a child they should take care of. And as I gather, they would like to move into an apartment together, to truly live as a family, as soon as they graduate high school.”  
Now, Jade does share a short look with Beck. They totally have fantasized about that every now and then, also at her home, around her mother. At the moment, they do well, not sleeping together, when they have to be up in the morning, but Benji will sleep better soon (hopefully), which means they will also be able to sleep every night through if they stay together like the family they are. And it just sounds beautiful to then truly live together, in an own apartment, not in between their parents.  
Jade’s mother continues: “And honestly? I talked to Jade’s father and I’m sure, together, with the money we each saved and will still earn, we will be able to pay for Jade’s college education somehow, even if she decides to go for a master’s degree. Or at least, we only have to burrow very little money. But I’m not sure we can also pay for her actual living costs if she wants to move out – and for half of Benji’s.”  
Jade knows that that’s hard for her mother to admit. She also hasn’t known about that. But... If that’s so, she also can work next to college after all, right? Though that thought sickens her inside. She will barely see Benji, if she will do that. Beck would take good care of him, without a doubt, but...  
She bites her lip, while Beck’s parents also share another look. Then, Nathaniel says: “That’s no problem. We can definitely pay the apartment on our own then.”  
“That would mean everything to us,” Jade’s mother says and Jade is glad she includes her in that statement, though she normally hates if someone speaks for her. But she wouldn’t have been able to say it herself.  
But if her mother is willing to accept that... Yes, then she is too.  
Leah smiles softly. “Well, if you will now watch our grandson for hours every day, to enable our son to go through with his education... That also means everything to us.” She means it.

 

Benji will stay with Beck for the night and as it’s already evening, when they are done talking everything through, Jade decides to get home with her mother afterwards.  
When they are alone in the car, Jade finally says: “I can take care of Jasper.”  
It’s not like she has never done that before. Jasper’s whole life, she has also looked after him at least a little bit.  
“You take care of your own son,” her mother says though.  
Which is stupid because: “You take care of mine, so I can take care of yours.”  
If her mother watches Benji in the mornings, Jade can definitely be there for Jasper in the afternoons. Jasper doesn’t need much anyway. He might only be eight years old but he is as independent at his age as Jade was back then. Sure, he should have a grown-up close, just in case, but Jade can provide that security. If she can take care of a baby around the clock, she can definitely watch an eight year old as well.  
“You’ve always helped me to take care of Jasper,” her mother answers. “And I’m sure I’ll also need you to help out in the future. But you can’t watch him every day while also having school and your own child. I will talk to Thomas. Or to my parents. I’ll find someone.”  
Jade knows if she wouldn’t be so exhausted of thinking of a solution (and if Beck and she wouldn’t have used each other as an outlet earlier by having a quite big fight), she would argue now. But she just takes a deep breath now. She knows her mother means well and maybe it is smart for Jasper to also have someone next to Jade. Well, if Thomas won’t be willing to take his son, Jade will talk to her mother about this again: She doesn’t want Jasper to have to go to their mother’s parents every day, as they can be quite horrible.

 

Thomas does step up though. He apparently decides to start working early, so he’s home well in time for Jasper to be able to come to him after school.  
In the middle of December, Thomas comes over to their home. Jade only gets to know about that that same Saturday afternoon. She did know that Thomas and her mother wanted to talk about everything once more today, but her mother comes into her room the early afternoon.  
Jade and Beck are sitting on the floor in her bedroom, with Benji just now crawling away from them to the couch. He has this toy that plays a quite beautiful melody. And since Benji knows how to move around, he loves for his parents to hide it somewhere and himself to find it again, by going after the sound. Naturally, it’s always hidden quite easily, but it’s actually a fun game. When he finds it again and brings it back to them full of joy, one of them distracts him while the other quickly hides the toy again.  
“Thomas will come over to talk about the arrangements,” Jade’s mother now informs them, coming into the scene.  
Jade slightly rolls her eyes. Great. And that when Beck and her initially wanted to stay in the house for the day. “Seriously?”  
“I think he wants it that way to also see you again,” her mother says.  
Which is even worse. Gosh, they have barely seen each other since she walked in on her mother throwing him out after finding him cheating with some woman in their bed – with her mother being very pregnant with Jasper.  
He has always been a good father for Jasper which is why Jade doesn’t talk bad about him in front of her younger brother. She still hates him for what he did to their mother.  
“I don’t want to see him.”  
“I know,” her mother calmly says, while Benji finally finds his musical toy under the couch. He turns to his parents with the brightest smile, shaking the toy in front of them to show them. Beck mimics back how delighted he is too, but doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t want to interrupt Jade and her mother talking, especially as he does know why Jade doesn’t like Thomas.  
Her mother also continues: “But you should. I’m sure he loves getting to see Jasper more, but the main reason, he has agreed to take care of him every day, is for you. He still is sorry for what you had to witness back then, especially as he would have loved to be a good father for you.”  
Jade pulls a face. “Ugh. I have a father.” Though as Thomas was her mother’s boyfriend, her mother of course told her about the man Christopher is. And yeah, he always tried to be a father to Jade too, but as she never trusted him, he never had a chance.  
“I know that,” her mother answers, but: “He will be here at 6pm.” And with that, she leaves, closing the door behind her.  
Jade makes an annoyed sound, while Benji arrives back with them. He doesn’t look perfectly happy anymore like before. He also has noticed that his mother is sort of grumpy.  
Beck lifts Benji up. “Did you find your toy again? Yes, you did. You are so good. But instead of playing more, why don’t you go to your mommy and hug her really, really tight?”  
If there is one thing that always soothes Jade it’s Benji close. So, Beck hands the little boy to her that is still too young to actually understand what hugging really means and how to do it himself. But he does let his mother hug him tight without complaints. For a while, it’s just that, then Jade gently takes his toy out of his hand, while still holding him close, and handing it over to Beck with a smirk. Of course, Beck goes to hide it again.

 

Jade’s mother opens the door for Thomas and while he walks into the living room, Jasper picks up Benji and walks up to Thomas with him, while he tells him excitedly: “Benji, you finally get to meet my dad. This is him. Dad, this is Benji.”  
Thomas squats down and looks at the little boy in his son’s arm with a soft smile. He extends his hand but barely touches his arm in form of greeting, when Benji suddenly starts screaming.  
Of course, he does.  
Beck glances to Jade who sits next to him on the couch, practically glaring at Thomas. Okay, however Benji picked up that feeling. Beck hasn’t noticed him turning back to Jade to notice her feelings about Thomas.  
Jade now stands up, while Jasper turns around with Benji with a worried look in his face: “It’s fine, Benji. What’s wrong?”  
He lets Benji down to the floor, as the boy is wriggling around like crazy anyway. Jade is already with them.  
“Nothing,” she says, naturally knows just as well as Beck does why Benji suddenly started crying. He won’t let himself be touched by someone his mother doesn’t like.  
She runs her hair through Jasper’s hair as if to make sure he knows he hasn’t done anything wrong. Then, she picks Benji up from the floor and walks back to the couch with him. As soon as he is back in his mother’s arms and being carried away from Thomas, Benji quickly calms down again.  
Thomas has stood back up and also walks further in the room. “Hello, again,” he tells Jade and then turns to Beck: “You must be Beck.”  
Which means that Jasper probably has told his faher all about him. Beck doesn’t see why Caitlyn should have mentioned his name in front of her ex-boyfriend.  
He just nods, before Caitlyn offers Thomas a seat and they get to talk.  
They agree that Jasper will be – like he is now – free to spend the afternoons with friends without having to plan so beforehand. But he will have to go to his father for dinner the latest and his father then will bring him home before bed time. As Jade also sleeps every night at home, except for the weekends, she is there for emergencies the late evenings, while their mother will come home around midnight and then will be there for Jasper in the mornings. Jade and Thomas even exchange phone numbers, though Jade doesn’t feel like that at all. But it makes sense for her to be able to call Thomas if Jasper isn’t home in the evenings or if Jasper as an exception won’t go to Thomas at all. Or for Thomas to reach her if Jasper will be home late or will stay the night at his place. It’s okay and it turns out that they don’t have to talk to each other too often, as mostly, Jasper is taking care of everything on his own and is calling each of them instead if he does something out of the ordinary.  
Jade already realizes what this will mean for Jasper though when they are half-way through talking about all of this.  
After Thomas is gone, they eat dinner together, before Beck, Jade and Benji go back into Jade’s room. Jade is still considering all of that and finally decides to talk to Jasper.  
Their mother has already tucked him in, but the light is still turned on and he’s reading. He’s not all that into reading, still has trouble with it sometimes. But Jade told him he should definitely read this book, so now he does want to read it. Their mother reads bits of it for bedtime and afterwards, he still usually reads a few pages by himself. Well... In half a months, their mother won’t be able to read to him for bedtime anymore. And Jade isn’t sure if she will get around to do it. It will be hard when Benji sleeps over at their place. It will be possible of course when Benji is with Beck.  
“Hey, smartypants,” Jade says as she walks into his room.  
He looks up from the book, lying in his bed. “Hey.”  
Jade sits down at the edge of the bed and just comes outright and asks: “Are you okay with this whole new arrangement with Mom working in the evenings and you being with your dad a lot?”  
Jasper tilts his head, furrowing his brow: “Why shouldn’t I be?”  
Jade shrugs. “You won’t see Mom all that much anymore.”  
Jasper looks at her thoughtfully for a moment, before he says: “But I will see my dad more. And Mom already said that we will spend real quality time every weekend.”  
Of course, their mother has already talked to Jasper about all of this.  
“That’s good,” Jade says. “If something is wrong, you will say so, yeah?”  
That’s the important thing. That he speaks up if it doesn’t work for him. She can have Jasper suffer because she had a child and isn’t able to take care of it on her own.  
“Sure,” Jasper says and Jade nods before she stands up to leave again.  
She is almost at the door, when Jasper speaks up again: “When Mom isn’t home yet but I can’t sleep... Can I sleep in your bed?”  
Jade turns back around and of course has to roll her eyes: “You’re still such a child. But sure. Don’t make it a habit though.”  
It also wouldn’t be the first time for Jasper to sleep in her bed with her. Though he hasn’t done that since Jade has gotten pregnant. Well, Beck has also slept over a whole lot for a long time. And then there has been Benji in the room as well and... Jasper also is much older by now and probably doesn’t need to sleep in someone else’s bed all that much anymore. But it’s fine if he wants to sleep in Jade’s.  
“I’m not a child,” Jasper has to protest, but with a grin.  
Jade smirks. “No, you’re practically a grandpa. Now, good night.”  
She turns to leave again and opens the door, while Jasper says: “Good night, Jade. Love you.”  
Before she closes the door behind her, she quietly responds: “Love you, too.”

 

o

 

Already in early December, something else comes up.  
Beck and Jade are on the way to school with Benji. He is in his baby seat in the back, while Beck and Jade are in the front, Beck driving.  
Beck has just finished telling Jade about how surprisingly rarely Benji woke up that night, when Jade suddenly asks: “What will we do for Christmas, by the way?”  
Beck seems confused. “I thought we already talked about it. We will give presents to each other and...”  
Yes, they have talked about that. Moneywise, they have talked through Christmas a little bit, have decided to still give presents to each other though it probably would be smarter to safe the money, and they decided to buy most of the presents for Benji together – probably with him around as he won’t know either way. He is only nine months old after all.  
“No,” Jade therefore cuts in now. “Where will Benji celebrate Christmas?”  
“Oh,” Beck makes. Yes, oh. Jade understands that reaction.  
She also hasn’t even thought about it until yesterday. That was when her mother asked her, what they think to do for Christmas.  
She now talks about that to Beck: “My mom said she’d like to spend Christmas morning with me and Benji.” She of course said it almost off-handedly, as if it wouldn’t be incredibly important to her, but Jade knows her mother really really wants them to spend Christmas together, because it’s an important holiday for her. While she works surprinsingly many of the other holidays, she always is home for Christmas and always has been. “But your parents surely want to spend Christmas morning with you and Benji.”  
“And both of us also want to be with him,” Beck promptly understands the problem, glancing to Benji through the rear mirror.  
Jade closes her eyes for a moment. She has thought about this the whole night and she can’t think of a good solution. Dryly, she comments: “We should’ve gone for twins after all. Then, each of us could have one.”  
Beck grins – Jade always likes to achieve that – and says: “Like in The Parent Trap.”  
Jade snorts. Of course, Beck had to mention that movie. “Nerd.”  
Beck takes one hand from the steering wheel and instead takes Jade’s hand in his and pulls it up to his lips to kiss it quickly. Only then, he asks: “So... What are we going to do?”  
Yeah, and Jade definitely doesn’t have a good solution. But there is only one thing she can imagine. One option with which all of them should be somewhat happy.  
She hesitates just for one more moment, before she asks: “Is it weird if we would ask our families to celebrate Christmas together?”  
Beck fleetingly glances to her. She knows he finds it weird, even if he answers: “I don’t know.”  
She considers it weird too. She knows they don’t celebrate Christmas the same way. They eat different things throughout Christmas, they open presents differently (with the Olivers going one by one, so Beck never was allowed to just open all his presents like Jade and Jasper very much are, but always only opened one, then his mother opened one of hers, then his father one of his and only then he was and still is allowed to open his next)... She knows from Beck telling her that his parents were already a little annoyed last year when both their parents were there (to meet Jade again the first time pregnant on Christmas Eve). They also don’t like their normal way of celebrating getting disturbed. It never was a problem for them to fly to Canada the evening of Christmas Day or the day after, but Christmas morning is also just for them, as a small family.  
And Jade knows that her own mother loves their usual Christmas so much that she certainly will be annoyed by this solution as well. But what else is there?  
Jade also knows that neither her mother nor Beck’s parents want to celebrate without each their child. And Jade also knows that she and Beck are not ready yet to celebrate such an important holiday for each of them without their parents. The thought of being at Beck’s Christmas morning also feels weird for Jade and somehow wrong.  
She now also says: “We both want to spend Christmas with Benji all the way, don’t we? But our parents also want to do that with us.” So, it’s also not like they can spend Christmas Eve at one of their homes, the Christmas morning at the other or something.  
Beck thinks about it a moment, then he squeezes Jade’s hand. “I guess we should talk about it to our parents. That probably is the only solution though.”

 

Beck and Jade spend the day together like always. Only when Beck has left Jade’s home that evening (leaving Benji with her for the night), she sits down in the living room with Benji, on the couch next to her mother, and says: “Beck and I talked about what to do for Christmas.”  
“And?” her mother asks, looking up from the book she was reading.  
Jade sees that her mother is weirdly afraid that Jade has decided she will celebrate at Beck’s. It’s as if her mother is constantly afraid of her leaving. Jade wonders if that’s because of how she behaves all the time (as if she doesn’t care much about her mother) or if that’s just how mothers feel. She wonders if she will sit like this with Benji some day and worry that he doesn’t want to spend an important holiday with her anymore.  
She doesn’t want her mother to worry any further and just comes right out and says it: “Can’t we all celebrate together?”  
Her mother raises her eyebrows in surprise: “Us and the Olivers?”  
Jade just nods and her mother looks at her for some time, then down to Benji in Jade’s lap, before she finally says: “We can think about it. You want that?”  
Of course, she asks. She knows that Jade also can’t like the idea too much. She gets along with Beck’s parents so much better by now, but she isn’t one to go for bigger celebrations of any kind. Yes, the thought of not just her mother, her brother, Beck and Benji but also Beck’s parents in close proximity for hours? It irks her.  
But: “I want to celebrate with Benji. And with Beck.” And with her mother and brother, which her mother must understand through her answer.  
Her mother now also gently smiles, reaching out and running a hand through Benji’s hair. “Okay then. Is Beck talking to his parents about this?”  
“Yeah. Probably, as soon as he’s home,” she says, because they talked about it again earlier and agreed to each ask their parents that evening. Each of them alone, so that their parents feel free to say what they really think, which they possibly wouldn’t if the other one would be around (and could feel offended).  
Her mother nods. “Then let me know tomorrow what his parents say. If they are willing to do it, we should talk about what to do exactly soon.”

 

Beck goes into his parents’ home as soon as he arrived on the property. Often, he directly goes into his RV, which is why his parents look slightly surprised as he walks in.  
They are actually cuddling on the couch, watching TV, but now sit up, as they greet him with smiles.  
He sits down next to them, greets back and directly gets to the topic before they can ask him how school was today: “Caitlyn asked Jade what we will do with Christmas. You know... As Jade and I both want to celebrate with Benji.”  
His parents share a surprised glance. They definitely haven’t thought about that before, just like him.  
“Oh,” his mother makes and maybe, they will be able to think of another solution, but first he wants to present them with theirs. So, he says: “Now we want to ask if... like... we could celebrate together?”  
“The two of you?” his father asks.  
He answers: “All of us.”  
Undoubtedly, his parents understand what he means with that. They exchange another look, longer this time.  
Then, his mother gently asks: “Do Jade and her mother want that?”  
Beck is glad that she asks. That she knows both of them well enough to know that they won’t love this solution, just like they themselves.  
“Jade is talking to her mother now,” Beck says.  
They look at each other again, before his mother finally shrugs: “Well, traditions change. I guess we have to try it.” A pause, then: “As the other option possibly would be us celebrating without you.”  
“It would be,” Beck agrees and is also glad that she understands that by now. That Beck’s priority are Jade and Benji and if Jade wants to celebrate with her mother, while his parents don’t, he will always choose Jade.

 

While Cat tries to convince Jade that she should allow her to dress up as Santa for Benji (to which Jade replies again and again that Cat will traumatize Benji with her version of Santa, though she doesn’t know it yet), Beck’s parents and Jade’s mother are trying to figure out how to celebrate Christmas together.  
Finally, they decide that while Beck is allowed to sleep over at Jade’s place the night before Christmas, Beck’s parents will only come there in the morning. But they will open presents together and eat breakfast and probably also lunch.  
It’s already close to Christmas when Jade is over at Beck’s again and joins the family dinner with Benji that Leah asks her what presents she and Nathaniel could get her mother and her brother for Christmas.  
“Nothing,” Jade immediately answers. She’s pretty sure that her mother also won’t get Beck’s parents everything. It’s also weird because they don’t really know each other. “You don’t need to get them presents. Or me.” The thought of them getting her something is also so weird. Because a year ago, they didn’t even like her at all. And now acting all chummy and giving Christmas presents?  
It’s almost as if Beck’s parents have expected that answer though. Nathanial gently says: “At least let us get something for your little brother. We will spoil Beck and Benji with presents. It seems unfair to not give him something as well.”  
Beck’s parents do have a bigger budget for presents. Though Jasper is also getting some from his father. But... Why not allow other people to give him stuff as well? He deserves it.  
Jade shortly glances to Beck, who definitely also seems to think that she should tell his parents some present idea, that she should allow them to at least give Jasper something for Christmas.  
Finally, Jade says: “There is this game he would like to have and which our mother won’t get him.”  
“Because she doesn’t want him to have it?” Leah checks. Of course, she still isn’t all that ready to trust Jade and thinks of it as possible for Jade to now let her brother have a game that her mother doesn’t want him to have because there is violence in it or something alike.  
But Jade isn’t offended. Leah has already come such a long way, regarding liking her, so... “Because she already has enough other things. I would have to ask his father if he already got it for him, but otherwise...”  
Jasper has told her all about that game, that’s why she then has told her mother about it, who answered that she already has all presents for Jasper and that he therefore has to pay it with his allowance. But it’s possible that he also told his father all about it and that he will get it for him.  
The thought of now actively texting Thomas about this, irks her, but she guesses, for Jasper she can suck it up.  
Leah and Nathaniel at least both seem happy. “That would be great.”

 

Christmas day goes surprisingly well and they all do have a good time. It may be a little weird to celebrate an important holiday for each their families together now, but it’s fine. It’s still a great holiday.  
Benji of course is the life of the party and Jade is already shocked at how much he gets through all of them, considering that their friends have already said they got him presents, her father and Stephanie also asked what he needs and bought it for him and there are still Beck’s and Jade’s grandparents, who surely will give him something as well, the next time they see him. It’s only for Benji’s first birthday, after talking to Beck’s parents again about it, who then confess that they always did it like that with Beck, that they actually tell each person what they could buy for Benji, to not get a million of things, some they already have and others so useless for Benji. They even ask for exact brands the Christmas after this because they read up on the different brands themselves and know what’s best, what’s worth its money.  
Everything, he gets on his first ever Christmas by Beck’s parents, Jade’s mother and brother and Beck and Jade himself, is useful though and they haven’t had it before.  
Benji gets a whole lot to play in the sands, like little spades, buckets and molds. He also gets a stacking tower and a few books that have a lot to touch. He also gets a crawling tunnel from Beck’s parents, which Jade first considers weird, because it looks like it’s for a cat, just bigger. But Benji absolutely loves it. He seems to be in absolute glee, whenever he looks out at one end of the tunnel, seeing all of them, before turning back around and crawling through the tunnel again.  
Only when Benji gets a little bored by it, before they want to start getting a late lunch ready, Jade’s mother gets a box out of their small storeroom. They have needed a new microwave a month ago and apparently, Jade’s mother kept the box, in case nobody would give Benji a big present, coming in a big box. He hasn’t gotten anything like that, so Jade’s mother now gives him this box, lifts him up and sets him down in the box.  
Benji also feels absolutely delighted by that. As if sitting in big box was one of the greatest things ever.  
“Our son is a cat,” Jade tells Beck, while he takes photos of Benji in the box; Jasper has finally been allowed to test out some of his new video games and their parents have just walked over to the kitchen area to make lunch.  
Beck looks at her curiously and Jade explains: “He goes through that tunnel again and again. Now he loves sitting in a box. That’s what cats do, right?”  
Their neighbor had one when Jade was little and she honestly liked the cat very much. Sometimes, her neighbor allowed her to play with a little.  
Beck snorts. “Well, I think we only have to worry if his first word is ‘meow’. Can you say ‘meow’, baby?”  
Beck squats down in front of the box with his camera in hand, running his other hand through his son’s hair.  
“Don’t make him,” Jade warns him.  
Beck slightly chuckles, as he stands back up, before he pulls her into a gentle kiss.


	23. First words and first steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome back once more, now to the final chapter of this story! Which is also one of the shortest...  
> Because of two people on fanfiction, I’m seriously thinking about making a sequel to Their son, after this prequel to it. That would start with Beck and Jade just having graduated from high school and now living in their own apartment with Benji, starting college (though I won’t actually have them actively in college, like show them there, as I don’t know enough about US colleges for that, as already pointed out in Their son) etc. I would also do a one shot collection with that and have a few ideas.  
> If you read Their son, you might remember that I had an epilogue there where Benji is six and Beck and Jade decide to try for another child. That of course would happen in that new fic too. :)  
> Now, I’m wondering if you have any more ideas for what to happen in that sequel, like certain scenes you would love to read, with Benji in an older age or with more children or with Beck and Jade at a certain age or with their children or whatever. If so, please write it in a review or a private message to me. I would love to get some more idea – though I also have to warn that it will take some more time for me to start with that. I’ll first write another story that has long been waiting. :)  
> Now, thank you for the kudos and the bookmark and for reading at all!  
> Enjoy the last chapter!

It’s already when Benji is seven months old, that he seems to understand his own name. Soon enough, he also reacts to ‘hi’ and ‘bye-bye’ the way a young child is supposed to. He realizes what it means and can wave if he’s asked to.  
And he’s trying a lot of noises and sounds himself. He is randomly drawing together syllables and uses them happily all the time. Soon enough, he starts calling everything ‘mama’. Beck directly has reacted with delight when Benji said the word for the first time and Benji has taken it as support to call everything that. Jade has then explained to Beck that it will take a longer time for Benji to actually understand that he can call each of them and each of his toys by different words. Jasper did the same when he was that small.  
But Jasper generally wasn’t as talkative.  
Benji doesn’t seem to get enough to just put everything out there at times. He tries out every string of syllables he can manage, the older he gets. Which is one of the reasons why they can’t keep him at school anymore. First, they only give him the pacifier in school, always give him the bottle in class etc, just to keep something in his mouth. But at times, it’s just not possible to keep him quite and as they also don’t want to discourage him from speaking, they of course had to find that other solution with Jade’s mother staying home.  
But when they are at Jade’s home in January, Beck, Jade and Benji in Jade’s room and Benji once more seeming to tell a brilliant story, they can’t understand, Jade can’t help but say: “Sometimes, I wonder where he gets all that from. I mean... He looks so much like you, so you have to be the father. But I also very much know that I’m his mother.”  
But Jade has checked by now, with her mother and with Beck’s parents. Neither she nor he have babbled as much as small children – just like they aren’t big talkers nowadays. Both apparently were more the type of child that suddenly began talking in full sentences at one point, without trying too many single words before.  
And it’s not like Benji actually is babbling all the time, but he does it much more than they have done it, as their parents have confirmed.  
Beck has to smile about her comment. As if she’s seriously questioning Benji being their very own child.  
“I bet he will annoy us one day, when he wants to talk about absolutely everything,” Beck claims.  
Yes, it doesn’t annoy them right now (it was just hard in school), it’s actually rather fun and cute. And they both love talking to Benji as if they could understand what he is saying. Jade always pretends she and Benji are talking bad about Beck, judging him, which quite amuses Beck. Though mainly because it somehow always ends up with Jade pretending Benji said he loves him anyway (“You do, huh? I guess I love him too, despite all of that.”) or by her reminding Benji that he should always love Beck (“But he is your daddy and he’s the best one. Don’t forget that.”).  
But if he will be one of those children that actually never stops talking... Jade already hated those when she was a child herself. God.  
She knows though that Benji’s behaviour now isn’t a sign for his behaviour later. People change and he still needs to go through so many phases, until he can truly talk at all.  
And Jade also knows that Benji will annoy them every now and then in a way, because all parents get annoyed by their children from time to time, just like the other way around, but if Benji will turn out to be a person who talks a lot, they will also love that.  
“I bet he will,” she now agrees to Beck though, then: “But you will listen to him every single time.”  
He has to. Parents shouldn’t ever ignore their children or just not listen.  
“You won’t?” Beck asks amused and Jade shrugs, as if she still has to think about that: “I’ll see.”  
With a smile, Beck kisses her.

 

February turns to March, which means that it’s less than a week to Benji’s first birthday. The first of March is a Thursday, which Beck and Jade of course spend together with Benji, when they are home from school.  
They are at the mall after picking him up from home, then go to the playground and finally hang out in Jade’s room, doing their homework.  
“I should go home soon,” Beck says at one point, glancing to his wristwatch.  
“Benji will stay here,” Jade decides. He has been with Beck the two previous nights and Jade doesn’t feel at all like letting go of him again this night. Which Beck gets.  
He doesn’t protest, just turns to Benji, who sits between them on the couch, squeezing his stuffed giraffe that Cat has gotten him for birth. He only very recently got interested in the stuffed animals he has. The giraffe seems to be his absolute favorite so far. Jade claims that that only is, because he can easily bite the long neck – though Benji actually holds it by that mostly and bites into its head again, which is too big for his mouth, so Benji’s whole game with the giraffe seems to be trying to truly bite in its head.  
“Yeah, you will stay with Mommy tonight, right?”  
Benji must have mainly heard the word ‘mommy’ and repeats it as best as he can at this point, but actually brightly looking up to Jade as he does so: “Mama.”  
Jade stops, then looks down to her son. “Did you call me, specifically, mama?”  
“Mama,” the boy says again.  
Jade makes a gesture to Beck: “Who is he?”  
Benji turns around, looks up to Beck, tilts his head and says something unintelligible. Not ‘mama’ as well. Has he just now understood that only Jade is to be called ‘mama’?  
While Jade can still barely believe it, Beck already pulls Benji up from the sitting position in a standing one, making him let go of his stuffed giraffe, pulling his face up to his own. “Yes, that’s your mama! That’s so wonderful, baby!”  
And looking past Benji to Jade, he brightly says: “See, his first real word is mama!”  
Jade takes Benji out of Beck’s hands, pulls him into her lap, kissing his cheek. If this is true, it’s beautiful. If he is finally able to recognize her as who she is, to call her by some sort of name, that he should call her.  
“I love you so much, baby,” she tells her little boy, overcome by that emotion, kissing his cheek once more.  
Benji doesn’t seem all that interested anymore. Out of Jade’s lap, he grabs his giraffe again to play some more with it.  
Jade also kisses him on top of his head, before she looks up to Beck again. Who seems genuinely happy that his son’s first word refers to Jade, not to himself. He seems to love it.  
And she loves him so much. Him and their son.  
She leans forward, Benji still pressed close on her lap, and kisses Beck.  
He returns it and afterwards, he runs a hand through Benji’s hair, saying: “Now, I hope the next one will be ‘dada’. And not ‘giraffe’ or something.”  
Jade has to smirk at that thought, especially as Cat suggested that Benji’s third word could be giraffe, when she gave the stuffed animal to him for his birth, of course after ‘mama’ and ‘dada’. Which is ridiculous. It will still take a long time until Benji will be able to say a word like that, no matter how hard he tries to talk. But Jade definitely will also joke about ‘giraffe’ probably even going to be Benji’s second word, until he chooses his actual one.

 

Benji really only calls Jade ‘mama’ exclusively from then on, changing it over time to ‘mommy’, when he is able to. And his second word turns out to be ‘dada’ (though Jade also repeated it again and again for him, so it would be his second word – she guesses, that possibly ‘baba’ was before that, with which Benji most likely means ‘bye-bye’, but Jade prefers claiming ‘dada’ has been her son’s second word).  
But Benji doesn’t only learn to speak, but also otherwise grows a whole lot around his first birthday. By eleven months old, he is able to crawl quite fast and starts pulling himself up to stand.  
When Beck and Jade are in school, he makes his first own steps, supporting himself through the couch. So, he isn’t doing his real first own steps, because he isn’t able to do them without holding onto something yet. But of course, this means, he will be at that point soon enough.  
Beck and Jade are there for that (or at least Jade’s mother claims she hasn’t seen Benji walking by himself before).  
It’s at the beginning of spring break, when he does that, and Beck and Jade actually can’t wait to show their friends the day after next. That’s when they have said they would meet up at Cat’s house as her parents have a doctor’s appoinment with her brother that takes the whole day apparently. Robbie suggested to meet up that day (obviously so Cat wouldn’t have to be alone) and they all agreed.  
Jade and Beck are both more than glad about that now. Their three friends can directly see what Benji has learned and can shower him with praise, like he deserves.  
Cat opens the door for them after they ring the bell.  
“Hi, Benji,” she greets happily, as she sees them, and promptly tries to take the little boy out of Jade’s arms.  
Jade slaps her hands away and passes Cat by with Beck following her with a smile. Robbie, Rex and Andre are already sitting on the couch, which is perfect. That way they can directly see as well.  
“Watch this,” Jade says, turns back around to Cat, after she has walked a few steps in. Cat has closed the door behind them and is pouting because Jade didn’t let her take Benji.  
Jade squats down and puts Benji on his feet in front of her. “Go to Cat,” she tells the little boy.  
They also let him walk like that yesterday all the time, showing both their parents. Now that Benji has discovered how to walk without help, he also seems to love to do it and to show off his new skill.  
He is only able to walk a few steps at a time as of now though, doesn’t manage a very long distance, which is why Jade stayed close enough to Cat.  
As soon as Cat realizes what’s happening, when Benji starts toddling over to her, almost falling over his own feet, she also squats down, looking so damn happy.  
Just like Jade, Cat stands back up as soon as Benji has toddled into her open arms. She is hugging him tight, as she says: “You can walk all by yourself now? Oh my god!”  
“Let him walk to me,” Robbie promptly demands. He and Andre have also stood up as they’ve watched Benji walk and both come around the coffee table now, Robbie even leaving Rex on the couch.  
He squats down and Cat wants to do the same where she stands but Beck quickly says: “You should go a little closer. He can’t do too many steps yet.”  
Cat of course listens, steps a little closer to Robbie and only sets Benji down there, telling him: “Walk to Robbie.”  
Benji does and Robbie also lifts him up with a big grin: “Aw, Benji! You are such a big boy, huh?”  
He is, Beck can’t help to think. Somehow, Benji suddenly appears so grown up already by being able to walk without help.  
“Now to me,” Andre says, also squating down in an acceptable distance from Robbie.  
While Robbie also squats down, Jade rolls her eyes: “Now, he’s like an animal in the circus.”  
But it’s not like she intervenes and picks Benji up on his way to Andre. Instead, she takes Beck’s hand in hers and pulls him with her to the couch to sit down. Undoubtedly she’s just as proud as Beck is and loves that their friends are this excited about their baby doing his first steps by himself.  
“Hey, buddy!” Andre says to Benji, as soon as he’s in his arms. “Did you walk to me all by yourself? Yes, you did.”  
But Benji might have walked to each of them happily, but suddenly doesn’t seem too interested anymore. Stretching out his arm in Beck and Jade’s direction, he says: “Dada.”  
Andre doesn’t feel bad because Benji doesn’t care about staying with him anymore. Instead, he seems almost amused: “Yeah, I’ll give you to your daddy.”  
He does give Benji to Beck, who takes him on his lap. While Jade gets one of Benji’s toys out of the bag they always have with them for his sake and which Beck carried into the house with him, Cat, Robbie and Andre also sit back onto the couch, all looking at Benji brightly.  
“You’re such a cutie,” Cat tells Benji, of course having sat down next to Beck, to be as close to Benji as possible.  
She runs his hand through his hair and kisses his forehead, while Benji takes his favorite rattle out of Jade’s hand, immediately fascinated and captured by it as if he sees and hears it for the first time.  
Robbie notices: “He grows up so fast. Like... It’s even quicker now that we see him less.”  
“Right?” Andre puts in.  
They truly haven’t seen him all that much since the new year started, though still plenty. But they’ve seen him almost every day last year, because Benji was also in school. He has only come to school for three days all in all since the beginning of the year. Jade’s mother has been on two one-and-a-half-week long business trips since then, so one every two months, and Beck’s parents haven’t been able to cover two days during the first and one during the second, because they had important meetings themselves or alike.  
But their friends have instead seen him on the weekends or alike. Every week, at least one of them meets up with Jade, Beck and Benji. Or just Cat with Jade and Benji or Robbie and Andre with Beck and Benji. So, every one sees him at least every other week. If only in passing or something. They also love him dearly after all.  
“Whatever,” Jade now says. “I’m thirsty.” That makes their friends stop talking about how fast Benji grows and instead, they talk about what to drink as Cat gets everything.  
Jade always rolls her eyes about it whenever someone talks about how fast Benji grows. And she eventually is the one changing the topic – this time quite fast. It’s almost as if she’s bored by the topic or something. Though Beck has the feeling there’s more to it. He hasn’t really thought about it until now though. Usually, he also gets quickly distracted whenever it happens.

After they are home from Cat’s in his RV, he finds out why she always changes the topic.  
Beck sets Benji on the floor of the RV, as soon as he is inside, and says: “Can you walk to the couch all by yourself?”  
Benji of course does, though he falls down halfway through and then crawls the rest of the way. Beck still proudly says: “You’re really a big boy, aren’t you?” Their friends have said so again when they were about to leave, have praised him for all his new skills.  
He watches how his son pulls himself up to his feet at the couch, looking back to him and Jade with a bright look in his face.  
Jade has closed the door behind them, has dropped Benji’s bag in front of it and now they are standing together halfway through the RV themselves, watching their son.  
“Soon, he will be all grown up,” Jade says.  
Beck chuckles slightly and puts his arm around her waist, as he reminds her: “He’s barely one year old.”  
Yes, the year has gone by surprisingly quickly, but he’s still so little and not even close to being all grown up. They themselves aren’t even fully grown up, to be honest; how could their son soon be?  
It’s only when he said it, still watching Benji, that he notices how heavy Jade’s voice has sounded. How she hasn’t said it with a smirk or anything.  
He looks to her and actually sees tears silently running down her face. Whoa. He hasn’t seen her cry for so long now.  
“Are you crying?” he makes sure, because this is crazy.  
Jade slaps his arm. “Shut up.”  
Hastily, she tries to wipe away her tears, but god. Okay. The thought of Benji growing up makes her extremely emotional. That’s why she always acts extra annoyed when other people talk about it, and eventually changes the topic. Because she doesn’t want to think about her little baby growing up, the thought makes her sad in a way.  
Beck gets it. It’s a bitter sweet feeling. He’s majorely proud at everything Benji learns. But yeah, maybe he also sometimes already thinks back to when he lied in his arms for the very first time, barely able to even open his own eyes. How small he was back then.  
It’s weird how you can somehow want and hate Benji to grow up. How it hurts a little, and yet you cheer him on like crazy and can’t help but grin when you think about everything he learned already since he was born.  
That that feeling now can make Jade even cry again? Beck somehow finds that incredibly cute.  
He fully turns to her and wraps his arms around her, as he says: “Aw, Jade. Don’t worry. We can make new babies.”  
Jade snorts as she digs her nails into Beck’s shirt at his shoulders, holding on to him, leaning her head in his neck, looking into the direction of their son. “What if they won’t be as cute as him?”  
Beck grins, as that of course is a valid concern. “We try as long as one turns out as cute again.”  
“I would like that,” Jade claims quietly.  
Beck kisses her on the side of her head, before he also looks to their son again. The boy has found his stacking tower on the floor next to the couch and has now started playing with that. Which will probably occupy him for about three minutes or something.  
Beck just holds Jade for a while, before she gently asks: “Can you believe we already have him for a year?”  
“Incredible, right?” he agrees with her thoughts, because it is. “And he already knows his first words and he made his first steps...” Which is so amazing to witness.  
Jade digs her fingers further into Beck’s shirt, then she says, all her heart in her voice: “I love him so much.”  
Beck knows that feeling. As Benji turns to them, holding one of his stacking stones in his fist, apparently showing it to them, babbling something, he is overcome by that feeling once more. That feeling that’s always so present. “I do, too.”  
Jade slightly breaks away from him, but only to finally look at him again, to look him into his eyes, her tears dried by now through their talk and him holding her.  
“And I love you,” she earnestly says.  
He tilts his head and trying to cover a smirk, he says: “I do, too.”  
Of course, she hits his arm again, actually strong enough to hurt him this time. He shortly rubs over it with a grin, before he wraps his arms around her again.  
“No,” he says. “I love you, too.”  
How couldn’t he? How couldn’t he love this incredible amazing girl that isn’t just smart, driven and beautiful, but also the loving mother of his son?  
But it’s incredible. It’s incredible that they are seventeen, are a couple for two years now, are still very much in love and raise their child together, quite successfully. Who would’ve thought that they would come this far? That they would actually manage to do this?  
But both of them feel unbelievingly blessed that it all turned out like this. Yes, Benji wasn’t planned. Yes, their life would be easier without him. But they are still happy to have him. And they are happy that they still love each other so much, that they are making this little family work.  
With smiles, they share a gentle kiss.


End file.
